OK, I been dating this girl for 11 months now and I like her a lot and stuff. But every since we started dating she had have a flirting problem with other guys, especially over the phone. But she doesn't go out with them or anything like that, she says that she doesn't know when she flirts that it just happens. And I mean we had problem about it this whole time we been dating. She always tell me that she loves me and that's the only problem we have in our relatioship. Well last month she was doing great! She didn't flirt anymore and she showed me more affection than ever. I was finally happy. But then about a week ago she started flirting with this guy at work and I got very mad and she keep telling me that it was just a frien and that she wasn't flirting. Well we had tha problem all night so she came up to me and told me that I couldn't come over to her house because she was going to stay the night with some girl. So I said OK. Well next morning I she was at this girl`s house but then she told me that she hung out with this guy after work. But only talked for a while not long. So I got more mad and we ended up braking up. She swear to god that they only talked for a while and told me that she didn't want to brake up. So we got together the next day. Well she started to flirt again and this time I got mad so I pushed the guy and my girlfriend got mad at me saying it was just a friend and nothing more. So then I found out that after work the guy ask her to go to this store to get a cd and she agrees. So I mean I got furious and put all her stuff in a box and gave it to her saying that it was over. She cried all night long and was really upset, her friends said. So I don't know if she is cheating or what's going on. Now that I cool off she says that she need time because I acted really mean towars her. That she don't know if she wants me back or not. And the only thing she need is time... What do I do? What if She still hanging out with this guy? Should I just forget about her and move on? Please Help. THANKS

You should forget about dating ANY girl until you can get ahold of yourself. It's one thing to have jealous feelings, it is another thing to push some guy because your GIRL is flirting with him. He was the most innocent in the whole story!

Anyway. Look, flirting means nothing. Apparently it does to you, but overall, it is a pleasant and useful way to interact with the world, a way that makes people feel good about themselves. Your ex appeared to have that ability.

So what? You not liking her flirting means she should stop? Really? Um, OK. And where does this stop? How much of your insecurity and jealousy have to be handled by OTHER people changing THEIR behavior?

The answer should be NONE. Being insecure is your issue, not hers, and definitely not the guy you pushed. You can share your concern, but demand changes in THEM when it's your problem... I don't get that.

And since you're most likely angry at me by this time, let me point out that you NEED to let your girlfriend(s) stray/cheat on you if they want to. It NEEDS to happen while you are dating so you can see that and move on.

What's the whole POINT of dating? To get some girl you like/love to change in ways to be perfect for YOU? Uh... no. You date someone you like/love already to find out if (feelings aside) you two are compatible or not. This sounds like you two are a definite NOT.

There are girls who flirt their way through life and are never once unfaithful to their men. Ever stop to think about that? Those girls are having a very happy existence, too.

My suggestion is you DON'T date girls that are that happy. You need a more melancholy type. There are girls who don't flirt their way through life. Since you have jealousy issues, you may have no choice but to stick to this type.

In the future, when you're insecurities start to make you angry, hold your tongue. If you MUST talk about it to your girl, use words that keep the responsibility where it belongs, on you.

"Sweetie, I need you to know I'm having bad thoughts about us in relation to the guy(s) you are friends with or the way you flirt. I know you're fine. I trust you. This is my problem, I just want you to know I'm dealing with it and appreciate any help you can give. If I get silly or out of line, I give you permission to box my ears...as long as I get a kiss afterward. Hehe."

Yeah JB your right. And believe me I'm really sorry and mad at myself I don't know. But is there anything I can do to get her bac? I mean now that you opened my eyes and made me understand, I want to get her back and show her that I can do better.

Yeah JB your right. And believe me im really sorry and mad at my self idk. But is there anything I can do to get her bac? I mean now that you opened my eyes and made me understand, I want to get her back and show her that I can do better.


I don't think getting her back is the answer. I could be wrong but JBeaucaire is right. You guys don't sound compatible.