Please be gentle. I am 26 have been married for nearly 3 years, and unfaithful for about 2 and a half of them. I have the perfect husband. He knows of my infidelity, and still wants to work it out. There is nothing wrong with him - he's smart, funny, faithful, and he absolutely adores me, even through all of this. I have all but begged him for a divorce since he found out of my infidelities about 9 months ago (I wanted him to find out because I thought that would promt him to leave), but he's relentless - its like I'm living in "Groundhog Day"! Lately, I'm wondering if I should stay with him, because I'm slowly realising that the "in love" that I'm looking for and never had with him doesn't really matter. That was the rationalle I had when I married him - that although I didn't love him, everything else was there. We really are a very good match - he doesn't fill this void though. I know thatif I committed and settled into the marriage that I could probably be happy - but, I'm scared that Im settling. I've lied to him so much and broken his heart repeatly that now I just feel so undeserving, and I am. What kind of person am I to poopoo my perfect marriage? Thankfully, there are no kids involved and if I do go through with a divorce it would be very ammicable and simple. Any advise would be appreciated.

If there is something missing (which there is) there will ALWAYS be something missing. You won't feel complete.

No relationship is perfect, and there is always a thought of something better around the corner, If you are not willing to go to counseling and work this out, leave him so he can find someone that will really love him.

I think that you are the only one who can answer this question, but the fact that you are asking it is very revealing. Your quest to find your answer should lead you to counseling. I would definitely go to counseling before leaving in case your answer is "What I am looking for is right here!"

If you go to counseling and find out you should leave there will be time for leaving then. But I definitely would find out what your dissatifaction is. Sometimes I think we all have a preconcieved idea of what love is while never realizing love is a choice. He is choosing to love you even with you infidelities.

Good luck! Fr. Chuck is right however, you need to set him free to find someone who does love him if that is where you answers lie.

Ask yourself this, if he decided he couldn't forgive you and wanted a divorce and nothing you could do or say could change his mind. Would you regret what you've done and be heart broken or would you feel free?

Don't blame him for being in love, blame yourself for not being honest, and doing the right thing. You had a choice to leave, and then explore the world, but you chose the dishonorable and cruelest way possible to deal with your feeling.

All you had to do is put this marriage out of its misery. So why don't you do that now??

True love is unconditional, it seems that your husband has this love for you.
What you need to do, is start to tell yourself how much you love him, for this is actually more important than telling him that you love him.
Start looking for and appreciating his good points, don't think about his bad points, for we all have those!
If you keep telling yourself that you want out, then that will be what you get.
But I think that you may be surprised when you have the next relationship, that the problem is still there.
You will have thrown away the very thing that can fulfill you emotionally, physically and in part, spiritually.
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, stay and work on it, it seems that you have found a wonderful man, if it was me, I would have booted you out long ago!
Love is not sex, love IS a choice, decide in yourself that you do love him and keep telling yourself that fact, if you didn't, then you wouldn't have married him in the first place.
Choose down deep in your heart to make your life with him, to make a family with him, to lay aside your will and form a new will, that you both share, for this is the way that God intended in the first place.
You will never find some-one to meet all your needs, they may meet some, but not all.
There is only one that can do that, and that is your Heavenly Father, who loves you so much that He let His own Son to die in your place to pay for your sin.
If you really want what will satisfy your soul, ask Him to fill you with the Holy Spirit and then your spirit will come to life too.
Then life starts to get interesting!
He will grant you peace and love and forgiveness, if you will turn to Him.
God bless,
:-)