brokenandhurt
Sep 7, 2008, 08:49 PM
At the beginning of this year I was in love with this one guy, Isaac. He was my world, I loved him so much that I planned on marrying him. But after two and a half months of dating I met this guy named Mike.. and I fell in love with him and I found out by one of my closest friends that he had a crush on me too. So, I broke up with Isaac and got with Mike..
Then for a school thing I had to go to Washington DC and I barely got to talk to Mike and I felt myself starting to miss Isaac…
The weekend I came back from DC, I went to Isaac and Mike’s town and I hung out with Isaac, Mike, and a couple of other friends for my friend Nic’s birthday party.
I felt myself torn between them and I broke up with Mike and told Isaac that I still loved him. He told me that he had already gotten a new girlfriend and he didn’t feel that way about me anymore, that I was just a close friend.
So I cried and thought about how I felt for a while.
I ended up breaking up with Mike, I didn’t want him to get really hurt by me, because I was still so hung up on Isaac.. even if that meant that he had to get a little bit hurt.
After a while, I got over Isaac, and started to fall back in love with Mike, and I had found out that he was still in love with me. So Mike, my friend Heather, Nic, and I hung out at this one little secret pond area and had a great time, just walking around and enjoying the view.
When we got back to Nic’s house, Mike pulled me to the side and he asked me out, I said “Yes!” Of course, I mean, he was such a sweetheart and I wanted nothing more then to be with him.
I remember that the first month of our relationship, he had barely even kissed me. I was his first kiss and his first love, even if he is 16.
Well about a month and a half into our relationship. (closer to two months) He didn’t call anymore.
By this time, I had my parents move to the town that he lived in. (I used to live about 30 minutes away.) And then he stopped talking to me on myspace/msn/phone. He only hung out with me.
We fought a lot, I always found myself crying about him, he was such a jerk to me… but I loved him and that’s how it was.
Mike and I were complete opposites. COMPLETE opposites. He’s not romantic, I’m very romantic. He’s clingy in the sense of when we’re together he always wants to cuddle, I’m clingy in the way that when we’re not together, I always have to be talking to him..
I asked him why he wasn’t how he used to be.. why he never talked to me and ignored me around friends.
Here is one message I sent him on myspace.. “Remember all the little cute messages you sent me while I was on vacation?
It was so amazing..
Buut.. why don’t you do this anymore..?
Yeah, we haven’t really gone anywhere or have really done anything else or whatever.. but.. still..
It’s nice just to have little cute things once in a while.
And how on msn you always used to talk to me, even when we weren’t going out.. and you never used to be that busy..
well anyways..
I don’t want you to think that I’m just being dramaish or clingy.. but.. I kinda miss the old you.
I still like what we do now and everything, but.. why can’t we do what we used to also?”
This is what he replied, “Well, I’ve just been getting TOO much of you, sorry to say. I need some time with myself and friends too. I don’t want you to get mad, but I’m just taking a little break from seeing you and talking to you like 24/7. :(”
So then I said, “What the **** do you mean we spend too much time together?
Whatever fine. Go do what you want.
This really made me cry, Mike.
I can’t believe that you would get sick of me.
When I sent that message, I don’t know what I was thinking, I really don’t
Oh and you expect me not to get mad, well..
I’m pissed.
It’s almost my ******* birthday for godsakes.
Well, you won’t see much of me today, thursday, or friday, so you get your little ******* wish.”
Yeah, I overreacted, like usual.
Okay, well, this is how he replied, “I didn’t want you to flip out on me and I didn’t mean NOT seeing you completely. Jeez, way to overact.
What I mean is like, I feel like I have to devote all my attention to YOU. I go to ——, you get mad. I do some gaming with friends, you keep messaging me over and over and ask why I don’t talk. Also when I was at Heather’s, you kept tickling me and poking me so I would pay more attention to you.”
So then I said, “Well what do you expect from me?
You don’t have to devote everything to me.. it’s just seems so.. weird lately.
And I’m sorry that I act like I do, I’ve always been that way.
So take your break, I’ll be just fine.”
I tried not to overreact.. but I did.
And he replied to me with this, “What do you mean by “weird?”
Also this stuff…implying that I should devote more of me to you and change.
-”why don’t you do this anymore.. ”
-”And how on msn you always used to talk to me, even when we weren’t going out.. and you never used to be that busy.. ”
-”I kind of miss the old you”
-”why can’t we do what we used to also?”
And the whole thing “You would rather spend a week playing Halo than a week with me”
Goddamn, sorry I play video games everyday and not talk to you.
******** like that also hurts me and pisses me off. It’s why I was kind of ignoring you when I was at Heather’s last night because of what you were saying over MSN that night before.”
Me and him got into small little fights like this all the time, and they were slowly killing our relationship.
But when we were together, we were fine. We cuddled and kissed and everything else and we were just fine.
Then my birthday came around.
On my birthday, Mike fingered me..
And two days later, he broke up with me.. I was too hurt. I thought he had loved me, but he told me that he just wasn’t happy in the relationship and that he was mad cause I was smoking behind his back. Yeah, I smoked, but if he said something about it, I would’ve quit… I quit already and it’s only been a couple days after he broke up with me.
He broke up with me at almost three months.. two days after my birthday..
AFTER he fingered me.. only TWO ******* DAYS LATER.
I felt dirty… I wasn’t sure if he used me… but one of my best friends said that he hadn’t used me, it was just a way that he expressed his love for me.
Now I feel so lonely, hurt, and confused.. it’s as if he sucked me in and I can’t get out of this nightmare.
I love him, but I know if I wanted him back, he wouldn’t take me back… I think maybe it’s better this way, but I don’t want it to be this way.
I asked my best friend, Autumn to ask him about his, because they’re really good friends. She said that he never really loved me and that he just had always really liked me.
So I just thought the worst and that I was just a fling.
So I freaked and asked him about it and he told me that he wasn’t like that and that he just doesn’t think that he’s ever felt true love.
Now I’m sitting here, trying to figure out what to do, move on.. or try to get back with him..
I love him so much that if I think about not being with him, I will just cry and be useless..
Mike and I have gone through so much together, we’ve overcome most things, but there was just too many things that were bad.
I’m young, 15, and a lot of people are just going to say, “You’re young, don’t let this come in your way, you have your whole life aheead of you.. blahhhhhhhhhh.” Well, I know that.
But that’s not how I feel.. I don’t really look at my future… only my future with people…
Gah, I’m just so confused right now and would really like some advice, so anyone think they can help me?
Then for a school thing I had to go to Washington DC and I barely got to talk to Mike and I felt myself starting to miss Isaac…
The weekend I came back from DC, I went to Isaac and Mike’s town and I hung out with Isaac, Mike, and a couple of other friends for my friend Nic’s birthday party.
I felt myself torn between them and I broke up with Mike and told Isaac that I still loved him. He told me that he had already gotten a new girlfriend and he didn’t feel that way about me anymore, that I was just a close friend.
So I cried and thought about how I felt for a while.
I ended up breaking up with Mike, I didn’t want him to get really hurt by me, because I was still so hung up on Isaac.. even if that meant that he had to get a little bit hurt.
After a while, I got over Isaac, and started to fall back in love with Mike, and I had found out that he was still in love with me. So Mike, my friend Heather, Nic, and I hung out at this one little secret pond area and had a great time, just walking around and enjoying the view.
When we got back to Nic’s house, Mike pulled me to the side and he asked me out, I said “Yes!” Of course, I mean, he was such a sweetheart and I wanted nothing more then to be with him.
I remember that the first month of our relationship, he had barely even kissed me. I was his first kiss and his first love, even if he is 16.
Well about a month and a half into our relationship. (closer to two months) He didn’t call anymore.
By this time, I had my parents move to the town that he lived in. (I used to live about 30 minutes away.) And then he stopped talking to me on myspace/msn/phone. He only hung out with me.
We fought a lot, I always found myself crying about him, he was such a jerk to me… but I loved him and that’s how it was.
Mike and I were complete opposites. COMPLETE opposites. He’s not romantic, I’m very romantic. He’s clingy in the sense of when we’re together he always wants to cuddle, I’m clingy in the way that when we’re not together, I always have to be talking to him..
I asked him why he wasn’t how he used to be.. why he never talked to me and ignored me around friends.
Here is one message I sent him on myspace.. “Remember all the little cute messages you sent me while I was on vacation?
It was so amazing..
Buut.. why don’t you do this anymore..?
Yeah, we haven’t really gone anywhere or have really done anything else or whatever.. but.. still..
It’s nice just to have little cute things once in a while.
And how on msn you always used to talk to me, even when we weren’t going out.. and you never used to be that busy..
well anyways..
I don’t want you to think that I’m just being dramaish or clingy.. but.. I kinda miss the old you.
I still like what we do now and everything, but.. why can’t we do what we used to also?”
This is what he replied, “Well, I’ve just been getting TOO much of you, sorry to say. I need some time with myself and friends too. I don’t want you to get mad, but I’m just taking a little break from seeing you and talking to you like 24/7. :(”
So then I said, “What the **** do you mean we spend too much time together?
Whatever fine. Go do what you want.
This really made me cry, Mike.
I can’t believe that you would get sick of me.
When I sent that message, I don’t know what I was thinking, I really don’t
Oh and you expect me not to get mad, well..
I’m pissed.
It’s almost my ******* birthday for godsakes.
Well, you won’t see much of me today, thursday, or friday, so you get your little ******* wish.”
Yeah, I overreacted, like usual.
Okay, well, this is how he replied, “I didn’t want you to flip out on me and I didn’t mean NOT seeing you completely. Jeez, way to overact.
What I mean is like, I feel like I have to devote all my attention to YOU. I go to ——, you get mad. I do some gaming with friends, you keep messaging me over and over and ask why I don’t talk. Also when I was at Heather’s, you kept tickling me and poking me so I would pay more attention to you.”
So then I said, “Well what do you expect from me?
You don’t have to devote everything to me.. it’s just seems so.. weird lately.
And I’m sorry that I act like I do, I’ve always been that way.
So take your break, I’ll be just fine.”
I tried not to overreact.. but I did.
And he replied to me with this, “What do you mean by “weird?”
Also this stuff…implying that I should devote more of me to you and change.
-”why don’t you do this anymore.. ”
-”And how on msn you always used to talk to me, even when we weren’t going out.. and you never used to be that busy.. ”
-”I kind of miss the old you”
-”why can’t we do what we used to also?”
And the whole thing “You would rather spend a week playing Halo than a week with me”
Goddamn, sorry I play video games everyday and not talk to you.
******** like that also hurts me and pisses me off. It’s why I was kind of ignoring you when I was at Heather’s last night because of what you were saying over MSN that night before.”
Me and him got into small little fights like this all the time, and they were slowly killing our relationship.
But when we were together, we were fine. We cuddled and kissed and everything else and we were just fine.
Then my birthday came around.
On my birthday, Mike fingered me..
And two days later, he broke up with me.. I was too hurt. I thought he had loved me, but he told me that he just wasn’t happy in the relationship and that he was mad cause I was smoking behind his back. Yeah, I smoked, but if he said something about it, I would’ve quit… I quit already and it’s only been a couple days after he broke up with me.
He broke up with me at almost three months.. two days after my birthday..
AFTER he fingered me.. only TWO ******* DAYS LATER.
I felt dirty… I wasn’t sure if he used me… but one of my best friends said that he hadn’t used me, it was just a way that he expressed his love for me.
Now I feel so lonely, hurt, and confused.. it’s as if he sucked me in and I can’t get out of this nightmare.
I love him, but I know if I wanted him back, he wouldn’t take me back… I think maybe it’s better this way, but I don’t want it to be this way.
I asked my best friend, Autumn to ask him about his, because they’re really good friends. She said that he never really loved me and that he just had always really liked me.
So I just thought the worst and that I was just a fling.
So I freaked and asked him about it and he told me that he wasn’t like that and that he just doesn’t think that he’s ever felt true love.
Now I’m sitting here, trying to figure out what to do, move on.. or try to get back with him..
I love him so much that if I think about not being with him, I will just cry and be useless..
Mike and I have gone through so much together, we’ve overcome most things, but there was just too many things that were bad.
I’m young, 15, and a lot of people are just going to say, “You’re young, don’t let this come in your way, you have your whole life aheead of you.. blahhhhhhhhhh.” Well, I know that.
But that’s not how I feel.. I don’t really look at my future… only my future with people…
Gah, I’m just so confused right now and would really like some advice, so anyone think they can help me?