I have been married for last 15 years. My husband works out of town. I just found out he is doing something he knows I really can not live with. I also found out he had lied about it. Now I can not trust him. I am finding myself being mean to him or rude. I just don't understand? I lost my job a year ago. Big blow to me. Having a hard time with life. How can we get past this and start over? He did tell me Friday why can't we start over and be friends again? Then on the phone it is a very defensive conversation and I cry. I cry all the time. I miss him so much. I really need him and he says no one want to be needed. Needed is like you need some food or something but wanted then I say okay I just want him to want me again and be close with me honest with me.
Oh I could go on and on. I am so lost. Worried? Depressed? Lonely? How to get past the lie and get back to being in love and the loving bugs when the phone rings and it is him.

See if he will agree to couples counselling, probably losing your job has you feeling a little blue and needy already and maybe he feels smothered. But if you feel you can't trust him, especially if he works out of town, that is a really big issue. You need a knowledgeable counsellor or minister to confide in. I have found that the people at Ask Me Help Desk really do listen and they do care.

No he will not do counseling.
Losing my job was huge for me.
He is totally faithful to me it is another issue that I am struggling with that he says he is stopping so I just have to give him time. But how do I get back to my funny, laughing nothing ever bothered me attitude again when all I want to do is cry and be very "needy"

Well there are stages in the grieving process, you know, denial, grief, anger, bargaining, acceptance. Go to counselling by yourself if he won't. A lot of companies even cover this in their health insurance plans