I haven't looked about much, but I'm going to take a wild guess that I'm probably one of the only 16 year olds on this site, especially in the relationship section. But anyway;

Starting with this; Around two years ago, I started going out with a girl. It was my first real relationship, and it was good. I wasn't crazy about her to begin with, but I liked her. As the relationship grew, I liked her more and more.

So then idiot me decides to cheat when opportunity arises, around 8 months into the relationship. So she finds out.

I don't know whether she'd have forgiven me or not (I think she would have(or hope)), but I guess I was too 'proud' or whatever to let her forgive me. Stupid, right?

So then a few months later she's going out with an old friend of mine. Not a particularly close one, but we've known each other for over 10 years.

Around this time I realised I'm an idiot. But obviously, I'm not going to 'make a move' while she's going out with my buddy.

Every day for the past year I've thought about her and us. I know I've been a d*** and I know what I should do. It's the doing it that's the problem.

Over the last year or so I've matured a bit. When we fell out I kind of built this image that I didn't give a about her, you know, the usual male-ego stuff. Matured I may have, but I still can't bring myself to make a move. And I don't know if I should. I love her, and if somehow she did go back out with me, I might end up hurting her again, which, obviously, I don't want to.

Help?

Anon123---I'd be tempted to look somewhere else too if I had to deal with you calling yourself names frequently as you did in this post. You are not stupid, but may have made some decisions that could have been better.

First, at the age of 14, dating was a poor decision because 14 year olds do not have the mental ability to deal with romantic relationships yet. At age 14, your thinking brain is still developing. Its like asking a normal 2 year old to calculate math----its not that the 2 year old is dumb, its just that the 2-year old does not have the thinking ability yet. Even now your brain (I am referring to your reasoning abilities) is still growing, and you have several years still until maturity. 16 year olds do not yet have the ability to fully forsee the consequences of their actions. So give yourself a break about this relationship and others.

I know this is not what you want to hear but I don't think you should be pursuing a romantic relationship with this girl. It sounds to me like you may want instead to just be a friend to her for now----that means being kind to her. That doesn't mean trying to "play" her or push her in any way. Be as kind to her as you would like her to be to you. Kindness acts out of love. Saying "hi" to her in the hallway at school is a good start to being kind.

Good and kind answer above with which I am in agreement!

I would like to add that at your age, this is the time to go exploring to see about the things that you would like to pursue and learn about in life. As such, it's best not to be getting all "hooked up" with someone without fully knowing who you are and what you are going to be wanting out of life. Your tastes and personality over the next six or seven years are likely to change a lot. Who you choose to hang out with and associate with are also going to change.

When I was in college, I tried to date as many women that I could. It was okay with me and also okay with the women who I was dating. Eventually, I found someone who I thought would be the one that was right for me as far as marriage and being a partner for life. This came about only after first knowing myself and exploring the other possibilities as far as people with whom I might feel the best being around a lot and on a frequent basis because of choices that I had made for my career pursuit and because of how mine and other friend's personalities had grown and developed.