Long story.. I will make it short for you.

4 weeks ago I told my husband we were getting a divorce due to (domestic violence) verbal,psychological ( I am going to put a bullet in your head type of threats) we tried counseling and nothing seemed to work so I got tired of it. We lived in an basement apt of his parents house.. we discussed doing this as civil as possible for the baby's sake (4 years old) the next day things started to get bad, he would not talk to me, he only only talk to me to insult me and call me names ( all threats were in front of the 4 year old) he tells me " we are getting an attorney this week and we are kicking you out on your and the baby stays) he attempted to hit me so I told him I would call the cops if he did...

He moved out of the basement apt of his parents house, the next day his mom takes all my debit cards, credit cards, bills and everything financial.. she and him goes to the bank and close all bank accounts so I could not have access to it, meanwhile I am a stay at home mom with no money.. then his mom who has control of the finances says she won't pay for car insurance, I told her if it is not paid that day I won't be able to use our car to go look for a job or a place to live, she tells me it is not their problem and they will be selling our car. So to make it short,

I am left with no money, no phone,no car and nobody talks to me in that house so I am living in hell.. I am thinking OK, I am pretty stuck and pretty desperate at this point.. then my mother in law writes up a letter asking me to sign it giving them (grandparents) full custody of my baby and that I will get visitations, I tell her I got to get an attorney to look at that.. she tells me I got until the end of the day to make up my decision.. when they left I packed up whatever I could put on it on a bag and left for a shelter with baby.. my family who lives in Florida and I was living in Utah get me a ticket and fly me to Florida.

Right now I am Florida.. before all this happened no divorce has been filed... now my husband knows at all time were we were.. so he calls the baby, when I ask questions like what happened to my stuff or did you file for divorce or any simple question.. he won't answer me and hangs up... all the time we have been here he has paid nothing for the child not even offered.. but I am afraid of what they are planning that could harm me.. this people are obsessed and not even making a beep when told I will be staying here with the baby scares me.. I asked him did you file for divorce? He would tell me " I wont discuss that with you" and hangs up.. his family has been calling and harassing all my friends and even stores I bought books from! I told my dad if anything happens to me get the cops to look at them first. They told me because I move from Utah to Florida with the baby I am going to be charged with kidnapping and all sorts of criminal charges. Any ideas?

Wow, that's all I can say.

I wish I had some legal advice for you, but sadly I don't. We have many wonderful people on this site who are lawyers and or know about the law, so keep checking back, it's always slow on the weekends.

I'm so sorry that you have to go through all of this, I hope it all works out.

Good luck.

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. YOu need to protect yourself and your child first, from this abusive man. I suggest that you look up the numbers for the domestic violence unit, victims assistance, and legal aid, in your area in Florida. They can give you the correct steps to take, and to my knowledge, victims assistance will not initially require you to give your name. If I am wrong about this, I'm sure someone will correct me, since I live in Canada, and the laws could be a little different. Tell them of the urgency of your situation, and why you needed to flee.

DO NOT sign anything, without a lawyers help. Write down all of the dates, times, of everything you remember happening, and this apparent strong hold, threats, or even blackmail, that your husband and his parents have threatened you with. Try and contact your bank, and credit card companies, etc. and try and get duplicate records, so you have all of your ducks in a row.

Save any emails, text messages, voicemails etc. and maybe try and have one of your parents on the other line when he calls. You may even want to buy a portable tape recorder, and tape the conversations, although I believe you will have to inform him that he is being recorded. If you have your child in daycare, make sure that your child is not to be taken by anyone but you, without written consent.

Gather all of the information you can, and as I said, make sure to make a note of every time he calls.

Good luck to you!

1. Stop talking or calling this man no contact what so ever, don't worry about what he things, and don't listen to a word he says,

2. you can not be changed with kidnapping your own child. Move away, if you have family in the other state go there, get away, move to a women's shelter what ever it takes.

3. file for divorce and custody, the women's shelter or legal aid should be able to help

4. your ex and family will lie, cheat and tell you scarey things to try and force you to do what they want. stop taking to your ex completely no call at all, forget any "stuff" it is most likely gone or you will never see it, who cares you are safe. Maybe at divorce court you can get some stuff, but worry about you and your child first.

Do as Fr_Chuck said DO NOT allow him to see the child cause he could try and take your kid.

Is the car in your name or his?
Do you have your own place or where are you staying?

File for sole custody and keep him away.
They can not get you for kidnapping the child you gave birth to when there was no court order saying otherwise.

Right now you need to be concerned only about protecting and providing for your kid,
Not him, his family, the problems they are causing or your things.

Sorry to hear about your position. A lawyer told my girlfriend, who was in a very similar situation as she was living with her ex's parents. If the living environment is horrible and they threaten to kick you out than yes you can legally go back to your home state without any legal problems as it was you were providing a stable living environment.

I also urge you to keep any texts from your ex or ex's family as they can be used in the custody hearing. While in Florida I urge you to find some type of stable work

Along with the previous advice, make sure you document everything. Get a recorder and record any phone converstions with him or his family. But most importantly GET AN ATTORNEY and file for divorce yourself. Do not wait for him to do so. You need to get back the upper hand here. File in Fl. Let him deal with that.

Once you get an attorney, any attempts at contact should be referred to your attorney.

Thanks for all your advices, I am keeping a journal the problem with an attorney is that I am stuck in legal aid battle.. I am new in Florida less than a month so I can't file for the divorce here I have to be a resident for 6 months, then legal aid in Utah won't help because I have to be there.. so I am kind of stuck. I got the babe in school and I also have an interview for a job which I will be able to do from home while the baby is at school so I will be with her all her time w/out having to put her on a daycare, something I would not have been able to do in Utah... I am just want to talk to an attorney to find out what kind my husband to get back there so I will be prepared because I know he is trying something but legal aid is kind of playing back and forth and I am not sure what else to do, I can't pay for an attorney outright.

Sorry I missed some words on my earlier reply... I wanted to talk to an attorney to find out what kind of things or laws my husband could use to get me back there, so I will be ready to battle.. not knowing is what is keeping me up at night.

Hmm that's a problem. You really need someone to represent you in Utah.

Hang tight, I think because you didn't post your question under the "law" forum, it may have been missed. I'll bring this to the attention of one of the people that may help you out a little more, if I can.

Thank you for your help, would it be easier for you if I post the same questions at the law section?

A few of the moderators have already been here, if they thought your question should be moved, they would have moved it, so no worries. :)

OK, thank you :)

Long story..I will make it short for you.

4 weeks ago I told my husband we were getting a divorce due to (domestic violence) verbal,psychological ( I am going to put a bullet in your head type of threats) we tried counseling and nothing seemed to work so I got tired of it. We lived in an basement apt of his parents house..we discussed doing this as civil as possible for the baby's sake (4 years old) the next day things started to get bad, he would not talk to me, he only only talk to me to insult me and call me names ( all threats were in front of the 4 year old) he tells me " we are getting an attorney this week and we are kicking you out on your and the baby stays) he attemped to hit me so I told him I would call the cops if he did...

he moved out of the basement apt of his parents house, the next day his mom takes all my debit cards, credit cards, bills and everything financial..she and him goes to the bank and close all bank accounts so I could not have access to it, meanwhile I am a stay at home mom with no money..then his mom who has control of the finances says she wont pay for car insurance, I told her if it is not paid that day I wont be able to use our car to go look for a job or a place to live, she tells me it is not their problem and they will be selling our car. So to make it short,

I am left with no money, no phone,no car and nobody talks to me in that house so I am living in hell..I am thinking ok, i am pretty stuck and pretty desperate at this point..then my mother in law writes up a letter asking me to sign it giving them (grandparents) full custody of my baby and that I will get visitations, I tell her I gotta get an attorney to look at that..she tells me I got until the end of the day to make up my decision..when they left i packed up whatever I could put on it on a bag and left for a shelter with baby..my family who lives in florida and I was living in utah get me a ticket and fly me to florida.

Right now I am florida..before all this happened no divorce has been filed...now my husband knows at all time were we were..so he calls the baby, when I ask questions like what happened to my stuff or did you file for divorce or any simple question..he won't answer me and hangs up...all the time we have been here he has paid nothing for the child not even offered..but I am afraid of what they are planning that could harm me..this people are obssessed and not even making a beep when told I will be staying here with the baby scares me..I asked him did you file for divorce? he would tell me " I wont discuss that with you" and hangs up..his family has been calling and harrassing all my friends and even stores I bought books from! I told my dad if anything happens to me get the cops to look at them first. They told me because I move from utah to florida with the baby I am going to be charged with kidnapping and all sorts of criminal charges. any ideas?


Ok - addressing your immediate concern first. Without a Court Order that says otherwise you have EQUAL custody of your child and the parent who actually HAS the child controls the situation. And that's you. If you read through old posts - and I'm sure you don't have the time or the heart to do it right now - this happens all the time, usually from the other side. The person asking the question is the person whose partner has split with the child.

Second - you are under no obligation to have your child talk to his father. That's your choice. I'd put it on speaker phone and I'd stand by to see what he's saying to the child. Another witness would be good. Some day you may need that info.

You basically can't stop him from calling people, going door to door if he so chooses. It's been my experience that people will get real sick of listening to him real fast. And your answer is that you moved with the clothes on your back and what you could carry WITH YOUR CHILD to a shelter and you didn't do it for fun. I'd give no more - and no less - information.

People who don't know you will judge. People who do know you will think he's crazy. The people in between won't care or will think, "Yes, something must have happened. She moved to a shelter." And none of it matters in the long run, anyway.

IF you talk to the father, do so on a speaker phone and make every attempt to have someone witness the conversation. I advise AGAINST using tape recorders because you are dealing State to State here and don't want to break any laws.

The most important thing you can do for you and your child is go to Family Court - or the equivalent - where you are NOW, speak to someone in intake. You explain this as clearly as concisely as (and I am absolutely sincere about this) ANYONE I've seen post on this board. If you have to, take a print out of what you've posted. Attempt to file a petition for custody/support. Explain the violence, the threats, the strange behavior AND YOUR FEAR THAT THE FATHER OR HIS FAMILY WILL TAKE YOUR CHILD AND/OR HURT YOU.

I also suggest that you - again, calmly and rationally - go to the Police. They undoubtedly will do nothing but they'll have a record that you were there. They MAY - if you get someone understanding and concerned - help you, advise you what your next step should be, give you a business card, a living person to call if there's a problem.

You MUST get some protection for your child and yourself now. That's your first step. Get an Order in place WHERE YOU ARE NOW and then worry about divorce/separation later. I would consult with an Attorney (if you can afford it and if you can't, I'd look around for help with legal bills - I'm not familiar with what is available in Florida) - an Attorney can get things moving very quickly. There might be some benefit to you filing for divorce. I am not certain if you meet Florida residency requirements BUT there are "usually" motions that can be made in situations such as this, situations where you have fled for your safety. Yes, being served will really tick him off but it sounds like he's 90% of the way there anyway.

It's time for him (and his family) to stop pushing you. You are safe now. Push back.

And please keep checking back in.

If you have any questions, if I've not addressed something, come back and ask - and hang in there. You did the right thing. You are safe, you child is safe, you have family. You just have to jump through some hoops to get the other side.

In addition, to Judy's excellent advice contact some battered/abused woman's support groups where you are now. They can also advise, maybe provide legal representation. They can provide a place to receive the calls with witnesses.

Contact the shelter you first went to. Get an affadavits that you went there. They may also be able to recommend a support group where you are now.

In addition, to Judy's excellent advice contact some battered/abused woman's support groups where you are now. They can also advise, maybe provide legal representation. They can provide a place to receive the calls with witnesses.

Contact the shelter you first went to. Get an affadavits that you went there. They may also be able to recommend a support group where you are now.



Absolutely - Scott brings up good points here. Document EVERYTHING you can - EVERYTHING, no matter how trivial it appears to be.

And keep us posted with what's happening. You've got your own little support group here as well.

Darnit Judy! I had to spread the rep, but thanks for responding so quickly, and giving such good advice, as well as what Scott has added. I agree that the police are often not much help Judy, as you know from my situation, but if you at least call and make a report, and document everything you can, you have a leg to stand on when you get to court.

The most important thing of course, is to protect the child and herself at this point.

As the others have said, please keep us updated FreedomSeeker, and I hope this works out well for you, and you can finally have some peace of mind.

Along with the previous advice, make sure you document everything. Get a recorder and record any phone converstions with him or his family. But most importantly GET AN ATTORNEY and file for divorce yourself. Do not wait for him to do so. You need to get back the upper hand here. File in Fl. Let him deal with that.

Once you get an attorney, any attempts at contact should be referred to your attorney.



You know I love you, Scott, but the recording idea is not good when it's State to State - it can easily backfire. I have no problem with witnesses but I do not advise tape recording.

Florida - which is where she is - requires that BOTH PARTIES be aware or else it can be a felony.

But having a person standing there to hear the conversation is no problem.

I'm just chiming in to say a few words.

Freedomseeker, you have the best legal experts on this site right here, FrChuck, ScottGem and JudyKae, so listen and follow their advice, they know what they are talking about. :)

I just want to tell you to stay safe and don't back down, you have rights and you have legal resources, use them and don't give up. :)

We're here when you need us. I cannot give legal advice, but I'm here for moral support when you need it, we all are.

Take care and keep us posted. :)

Thank you all so much, I have been keeping a journal of everyday even if he calls or not. The only reason I let him call is because he is the baby's father and I wanted her to talk to him, not trying to deny him that much. She is little so I put the speaker phone and he just tell her he misses her and loves her that is it.. he just hangs up on me which I don't care really. I called legal aid again today and I am still been shuffle between Utah is the one that needs to help you out because you married there but Utah tells me there is nothing they can do while I am I'm florida's soil ( I had to laugh) seriously sometimes some of this rules makes no sense in some situations but what can you do but play along. Thank you all for the support, I just want this thing settle and done with so I can move on with our lives.

I can totally understand the frustrations of the legal system. It quite often works against the victims, and gives the perps more rights. I really have to applaud you though, for not keeping your little girl from talking with her Daddy. She is caught in the middle of his (and his parents) silly and hurtful games, but she is an innocent player in all of this. So kudos to you for that! She obviously has your parents who love her also, and that's a very good thing for her.

Don't give up, and don't let him or his parents, or the legal system stop you from following through with the rights that you deserve as a mother. I don't think it's a matter of denying your little girls father, but more a matter of not denying the little girl the right to be able to hear him say he loves her, even if you know he is trying to play legal games with you. Your daughter will ultimately thank you, and respect you for doing that, even though right now she really doesn't understand that you are doing this for her own good.

Good luck with getting things rolling, and I hope there aren't too many more roadblocks set up to get in your way.

Aug 29th that was the day he filed for divorce I just found out when I called the distric court in Utah he also file for some emergency motions or something like that plus waved the 90 days waiting period.. is the emergency motions is probably for child custody, can they hold a hearing even if I have not been served yet? He spoke with me and the baby on aug 30th but never told me a thing.. I am wondering if they are going to act like they have no clue where I am.. going a bit nuts now.. aug 30th is the last day he called too, I hope they are not going to come here serve me and take the baby.

No they cannot hold a hearing without you being at least notified of it.

aug 29th that was the day he filed for divorce I just found out when I called the distric court in utah he also file for some emergency motions or something like that plus waved the 90 days waiting period..is the emergency motions is probably for child custody, can they hold a hearing even if I have not been served yet? he spoke with me and the baby on aug 30th but never told me a thing..i am wondering if they are going to act like they have no clue where I am..going a bit nuts now..aug 30th is the last day he called too, I hope they are not going to come here serve me and take the baby.



If he can convince the Court that he doesn't know where you are, yes, they can hold an emergency hearing without you. If they do get an order for custody it will be very difficult and time consuming to reverse it. The Courts prefer not to do this but I've seen it happen. A lot may depend on what Court he filed in -

They can't serve you and take the baby - but they can serve you, go to Court and attempt to get custody.

Did the Court in Utah tell you what the return date on the motion is? It is important NOT to miss that Court date. Sounds like these people are all half nuts and so you have to be very pro-active, make sure your own tail is covered. Again, do NOT miss that Court date. Your Attorney in Florida can issue an appearance on your behalf, address the papers that have been filed.

Undoubtedly any emergency motions will be heard first - custody, support, who knows - and then the divorce will come later.

Are you in a safe place if this explodes? I believe you said you are with your parents.

At the moment the Court has only HIS (and their) side of the story. The Court needs to hear YOUR side of the story.

You need an Attorney in Florida. See what he/she advises and go from there.

You will find out that you are stronger than you ever thought you could be and are. You'll be OK, just be prepared.

No they cannot hold a hearing without you being at least notified of it.


Unfortunately they can if they claim they don't know where she is. The father and his parents appear to lie about a lot of things so I wouldn't just sit in Florida and assume if I'm not served there's no hearing in sight.

She has got to be pro-active and protect her rights.

She knows there's a hearing - now the question is: when?

Unfortunately they can if they claim they don't know where she is. The father and his parents appear to lie about a lot of things so I wouldn't just sit in Florida and assume if I'm not served there's no hearing in sight.

She has got to be pro-active and protect her rights.

She knows there's a hearing - now the question is: when?

That must be a Utah thing because in Jersey we were told something completely different. We were told that they try to find the person for at least a month. They try closest known relatives and everything.

OK.. I called the court again and tried to get more info I was told the date the hearing is going to take place and apparently the address they put as my address is the one I am living at so they don't have that excuse.. the hearing is for a month from the day he filed for divorce, I am sure his parents will be the ones asking for custody since he can't physically care for the child on his own. I am finally seeing an attorney tomorrow here in Florida see what can be done from here.. if I don't get anything from my husband. I will make sure to be at that hearing and darn sure to mention it to the judge.. hopefully by then all this hurricanes coming this way will have stopped.. it is crazy out here!

Sorry, advice given on old post not update.

Judy will correct me if I am wrong, but you would have to have done something pretty bad, and/or illegal, for a judge to take away custody from you and give it to the grandparents. So, I don't think you will really have to worry about that part of it too much. If the father can't phyically take care of your daughter, then the judge will see that too. So unless there has been something like abuse, a drug addiction, or a felony conviction etc. you should be fine.

Stay safe from the hurricanes and tornadoes. My parents live in Florida, (Sarasota area) and I have a lot of friends there. The storms seem to be gaining strength with each one that pops up.

Best of luck!

Many attys give a free legal consultation. Google family law lawyers in utah where you live, pick the best ones & see if they will talk to you free over the phone. In some places, their talking to you first prevents him from being able to hire them so at least that will limit his choices.

Talk to the battered women's shelter where you are at & ask them if they can give you any legal referrals. They may have the names of some atty's who will help or a program that will help. Ask them what you need to get a restraining order against him where you are at.

Ask them if it is legal to record your convo's with him where you are at, if so then don't talk to him unless you have the recorder going. In some places you can't record at all without the knowledge / consent of the other person. In others as long as you are recording your conversation, it's OK.

Get a PO box & order copies of your bank accts & financial records if you can't get copies online. You could also get an efax number & have some faxed to you. You will need those, so the sooner you gather them up the better. He may suspect where you are living but it's better if you limit who knows where you are actually living, especially since he will try to get you served at some point most likely.

There are no criminal charges they can file that I can think of from what you wrote, but I'm not a lawyer. Without a ct order saying otherwise, you can move your baby where you want to.

One way to find out if he has filed for a divorce is to check the county family law ct records where he lives, many are online now. You'd just have to put his name in to do a search there. Or you could call the cthouse & ask if a divorce or anything else has been filed.

She already knows the divorce has been filed, already has an appt. with an attourney tomorrow, and has talked with the courts in Utah. Her ex knows where she is, and so do the courts in Utah.

Sorry, left thread open & didn't check for updates before submitting my orig'l answer.

Judy will correct me if I am wrong, but you would have to have done something pretty bad, and/or illegal, for a judge to take away custody from you and give it to the grandparents. So, I don't think you will really have to worry about that part of it too much. If the father can't phyically take care of your daughter, then the judge will see that too. So unless there has been something like abuse, a drug addiction, or a felony conviction etc., you should be fine.

Stay safe from the hurricanes and tornadoes. My parents live in Florida, (Sarasota area) and I have alot of friends there. The storms seem to be gaining strength with each one that pops up.

Best of luck!
Thanks, I have never done drugs, alcohol,abuse my child nor nothing illegal nor criminial. Since the baby was born I had stay home taking care of the baby 24/7.. she was born with a disability too and my husband been disabled could never help.. she has been with me every waking hour I could think of and I am not joking.. I have pretty much always stayed behind with the baby when the family went out or on vacation or visiting etc etc.. It was just me taking care of my disabled husband and my disabled daughter, which is why it hurt so much I was been treated that way.. they swear they are not racist but some of their comments and threats made me think different.. I am hispanic they were white, one day my mother in law told me that if I ever divorce her son they would fight for custody and they would win because they are born american citizens and I was only a legal resident with a green card and the court will favor them. I will see what happens tomorrow with the attorney.. then I am going to continue my life and the babies until I find out what his divorce papers have to say.

I'm sorry that the burden has all been on you. That is a horrible way for them to treat you, after you have taken care of their son, and had the extra responsibility of caring for a disabled little girl. Her grandparents are not putting her best interests first. To even try and take her away from you would be abusive behaviour towards their grandaughter. She needs her mother, who has always been there for her.

Don't worry a lot about the outcome of this. Unless you get a judge that is mentally insane, there is no way the grandparents are going to have much of a voice in this at all. They are just blowing smoke out of their A$$ to try and scare you. This has nothing to do with them being American citizens at all, and don't believe them. She is your daughter! Don't let them make you lose any sleep over this, and just concentrate on your sweet little girl.

Bless you, and keep yourself and your little girl safe from those nasty storms!

It is not difficult to understand why their son turned out the way he did & treated you so badly. He did not have good examples to learn from.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

One quick question, since there is no court telling him anything yet... does he still have to pay to support the baby? I am not even asking for me but for the baby.. I know he knows the baby still needs diapers and things like that which my dad is paying for.. but he has not once offered.. does he has to pay "something" until the actual amount is settle or he no longer has to deal with it until he is told to do so by court?

Well unfortunately, I think you will probably have to wait until a child support order is in place. He still has to pay, but right now there is no order in place. The courts will probably grant you retroactive payments, but unless he sends money on his own, you can't really enforce this on your own. This is a question you should ask your lawyer tomorrow for sure. He may be able to draw up something to send to your husband.

It's too bad that you aren't receiving any money right now, but this will work in your favour in court. The judge will see that neither your husband, or the grandparents have made any attempt to care for the baby, and you and your parents have been the sole providers. The judge should recognize that you are the one that should be the main caregiver.

Thanks for all your help, I have been writing up my questions so I won't forget what to ask. It is too bad a court has to tell a father or a mother that the kid needs to be supported no matter who is holding the child.. but I am learning as I go that it is not always so. Until tomorrow then, thanks for everything.

Yes it is ridiculous that you have to beg, borrow, and steal, just to get a parent to take care of his children.

Good luck with your lawyer, and I hope he gives you some good advice to get the help that you need.

Give your little one an extra big hug from me! :)

No it is not kidnapping, because you are the child's parent and guardian. Don't let him or his family intimidate you. You did the biggest and best thing you could and that was to leave him. You can get assistance through the State until you get on your feet and they will collect child support from him. If a Parenting Plan happens and he try's to take you to court for either visitation or custody, his abusiveness toward you will show favor as you being the better parent of the two, the Grandparents have no parental rights to your baby, they may have money but you are Mom. Don't worry it will all work out okay, just move on with your life and you will be fine.

That must be a Utah thing because in Jersey we were told something completely different. We were told that they try to find the person for at least a month. They try closest known relatives and everything.



I didn't say they don't have to try to find the "Defendant" (I don't know how the papers address the parties) - I didn't say it won't be adjourned for a period if the other party can't be immediately located and served.

I know how they try to locate closest known relatives "and everything" - it's what I do for a living.

I said if they claim they couldn't find the person - and I don't know if OP CAN be located by a third party because she has so recently moved and the father may not share his info with the Court - it is possible for the Hearing to be held without her.

Judy will correct me if I am wrong, but you would have to have done something pretty bad, and/or illegal, for a judge to take away custody from you and give it to the grandparents. So, I don't think you will really have to worry about that part of it too much. If the father can't phyically take care of your daughter, then the judge will see that too. So unless there has been something like abuse, a drug addiction, or a felony conviction etc., you should be fine.

Stay safe from the hurricanes and tornadoes. My parents live in Florida, (Sarasota area) and I have alot of friends there. The storms seem to be gaining strength with each one that pops up.

Best of luck!



Absolutely and positively - I know this is not the case with the OP BUT terrible mothers keep custody because although their behavior may be unsavory or unsettling the child is not in danger. FrChuck has some chilling experiences with this.

I see no danger of the mother losing custody if all is has been "reported" - I DO see the father getting visitation rights and I think I foresee a problem getting the child back so I would make certain the Court is aware of every problem in this relationship.

I also see a great advantage to the mother NOT having a "new man" in her life - far too many women move from one man to the next and the Court does not necessarily look favorably on that situation. Mother is working her way through this with the help of family, not separating/divorcing to be with someone else.

Absolutely and positively - I know this is not the case with the OP BUT terrible mothers keep custody because although their behavior may be unsavory or unsettling the child is not in danger. FrChuck has some chilling experiences with this.

I see no danger of the mother losing custody if all is has been "reported" - I DO see the father getting visitation rights and I think I foresee a problem getting the child back so I would make certain the Court is aware of each and every problem in this relationship.

I also see a great advantage to the mother NOT having a "new man" in her life - far too many women move from one man to the next and the Court does not necessarily look favorably on that situation. Mother is working her way through this with the help of family, not separating/divorcing to be with someone else.


Totally.. nobody new and nobody in mind nor thoughts of getting a man. I just want this over so I can continue living life with my child.. she comes first and that means no man around my little girl.. I just want peace and not having threats around me all day

I finally went to this attorney today.. the district court clerk told me to go see her because she comes to the court for free.. HA! Wasted 5 minutes of my time, I explained the situation and the best she came up with was Get yourself a good private attorney.. Geez thank you, I have never thought of that lol! Gave me a card to legal aid.. the same legal aid I am battling right now.. Lord help me it is going to be a long road ahead. If he gets visitations rights in Utah than I am screwed they will take her from me then, I have no friends, no family, no job, no car, no money and no support there.. plus the school there is only 3 hours long so I will have to leave the baby with his mother and she will totally point this out.. in here I have support, a nice home, a job, a car and her school is long enough that I am able to work during those hours so I can be with her during the rest.. I hope the judge sees this, I don't mind if she spends holidays and school vacation there and I would help him pay flights here whenever he gets time to get away to see her.. I just can't survive in Utah.

Totally..nobody new and nobody in mind nor thoughts of getting a man. I just want this over so I can continue living life with my child..she comes first and that means no man around my little girl..I just want peace and not having threats around me all day

I finally went to this attorney today..the district court clerk told me to go see her because she comes to the court for free..HA! wasted 5 minutes of my time, I explained the situation and the best she came up with was Get yourself a good private attorney..Geez thank you, I have never thought of that lol! gave me a card to legal aid..the same legal aid I am battling right now..Lord help me it is going to be a long road ahead. If he gets visitations rights in Utah than I am screwed they will take her from me then, I have no friends, no family, no job, no car, no money and no support there..plus the school there is only 3 hours long so I will have to leave the baby with his mother and she will totally point this out..in here I have support, a nice home, a job, a car and her school is long enough that I am able to work during those hours so I can be with her during the rest..I hope the judge sees this, I don't mind if she spends holidays and school vacation there and I would help him pay flights here whenever he gets time to get away to see her..I just can't survive in utah.



Well, the Court cannot force you to go back to him; I don't see him getting full custody; what you have said here you have to keep repeating to yourself AND this is what you have to say in Court.

Have you been served with the papers yet?

No, nothing yet but we had that holiday there Monday you would think they would pop for the priority shipping on mailing this thing according to the court they have 160 days to serve me but the hearing is in less than 60 days away, I am wondering if they will wait to the last minute to serve me.. I won't call them though I know the date, I am trying to find an attorney I could afford here, the attorney I saw today said that there are some exception for the hearing not to happen, once the judge gets my answer he will decide between his answer and mine and then go from there. But as of today nothing from him, not even to call his daughter.

no, nothing yet but we had that holiday there monday you would think they would pop for the priority shipping on mailing this thing according to the court they have 160 days to serve me but the hearing is in less than 60 days away, I am wondering if they will wait to the last minute to serve me..I won't call them though I know the date, I am trying to find an attorney I could afford here, the attorney I saw today said that there are some exception for the hearing not to happen, once the judge gets my answer he will decide between his answer and mine and then go from there. But as of today nothing from him, not even to call his daughter.



You probably have to be personally served - I doubt it will be mailed to you. It's probably been mailed to the Sheriff or a process server in Florida.

I think it's a good thing that he hasn't called - probably advice from his Attorney.

And it's good that your Attorney sees other possibilities.

A stupid move from his attorney then, make the child pay for this stupidity.. saying hi to his little girl should be a first, just because a divorce is going on should not prevent him from saying hi to his daughter, I mean if he is trying to take her away from me is because he can't live without her right? But he can go w/out calling her for a week to find out if she is OK or what not? Should be proof enough to the judge he knows she is fine here with me.

a stupid move from his attorney then, make the child pay for this stupidity..saying hi to his little girl should be a first, just because a divorce is going on should not prevent him from saying hi to his daughter, I mean if he is trying to take her away from me is because he can't live without her right? but he can go w/out calling her for a week to find out if she is ok or what not? should be proof enough to the judge he knows she is fine here with me.


Perhaps his Attorney is aware he loses his temper, says stupid things to you - and the Attorney wants to keep you in the dark as much as possible until the Hearing, not provide you with info.

This is not the least bit unusual.

Judy is completely right! My girlfriend was advised that if her ex does call, simply let it go to voicemail this way if there is any language or threats used you have documented proof of this.
Our attorney also told us, under no circumstance do we contact him. We have an arrangement with the grandmother that we will contact her when we are on our way to pick up the girls or she will call us and let us know when to pick them up

I don't know who does and who does not know the Law - other than me and a few select people and they know who they are, some by research, some by education and some through experience.

You most definitely know neither the rules of the Board nor the Law.

My spider senses tell me you are somehow involved in this matter as other than a bystander who came across it on a public board.

I don't know who does and who does not know the Law - other than me and a few select people and they know who they are, some by research, some by education and some through experience.

You most definitely know neither the rules of the Board nor the Law.

I apologize for quoting you, I saw my sig and thought you were talking about my post.

You are aware that the OP is disabled, as is her husband?

And would you please give me the law that states this is kidnapping as well as where you get your knowledge?

I am not disabled my daughter is and so is my husband I took care of them both.. I believe sensi is one of his family members who keeps tracking me online.

I believe they have found me, I know they have tracked me on myspace and facebook and now they have found me here, if you notice the poster speaks as if she knew more than I have shared. Why would she say my inlaws took care of me? all I said was we lived in a basement apt..that does not mean they took care of me, Yeah my husband kept bank accounts and debit cards all in his name but I had them..how did the poster knew this? if this is who I think it is get a life and I will totally see you in court!

Ahhhh! I get your drift, and now I think I'm understanding the anger in that post! ;)

We won't tolerate intimidation around here either, and we have some pretty good mods and administraters.

I am not disabled my daughter is and so is my husband I took care of them both..I believe sensi is one of his family members who keeps tracking me online.



Sorry about that - I misunderstood the disabled part, just who you were talking about.

That being said - PLEASE - stay off this and any other Board until this is over. You can only hurt yourself. What you have said can and will be brought into Court.

Honestly - we'll miss you but PLEASE protect yourself. Keep in mind that this is what I do - I dig up what can be dug up in divorces and other matters. Stay away and now that they've made this mistake, don't feed into them. Stay off Facebook and wherever else you can be tracked. Anything you say can and will be brought to Court and you don't want to be perceived as hysterical, untruthful, anything else.

In the meantime, if you know who this person is if you hit the inappropriate button on the top right-hand side of his/her post and type in the little box that this is someone from your husband's side harassing you a moderator will check the account info of that person. This person could very well have seriously harmed your husband's chances custody/visitation chances - if you read the post it is almost frightening IF this person knows you. Shows what's going on.

Also - print out the post for your Attorney.

And then get off this site until after the Hearing.


PS - Go the criminal law section - there is a rather offensive (and legally incorrect) post there by this same "Sensi" person. Speaks volumes about the person and will be VERY HELPFUL to your Attorney. Please do it right away.

Ahhhh! I get your drift, and now I think I'm understanding the anger in that post! ;)

We won't tolerate intimidation around here either, and we have some pretty good mods and administraters.



I just reported that person - anyone care to join me?

Sorry about that - I misunderstood the disabled part, just who you were talking about.

That being said - PLEASE - stay off this and any other Board until this is over. You can only hurt yourself. What you have said can and will be brought into Court.

Honestly - we'll miss you but PLEASE protect yourself. Keep in mind that this is what I do - I dig up what can be dug up in divorces and other matters. Stay away and now that they've made this mistake, don't feed into them. Stay off Facebook and wherever else you can be tracked. Anything you say can and will be brought to Court and you don't want to be perceived as hysterical, untruthful, anything else.

In the meantime, if you know who this person is if you hit the inappropriate button on the top right-hand side of his/her post and type in the little box that this is someone from your husband's side harassing you a moderator will check the account info of that person. This person could very well have seriously harmed your husband's chances custody/visitation chances - if you read the post it is almost frightening IF this person knows you. Shows what's going on.

Also - print out the post for your Attorney.

And then get off this site until after the Hearing.


PS - Go the criminal law section - there is a rather offensive (and legally incorrect) post there by this same "Sensi" person. Speaks volumes about the person and will be VERY HELPFUL to your Attorney. Please do it right away.

I am going to have to do just that.. I did delete my other accounts. How would I know the info on this sensi person? Attorney asking for it? Thanks for all your help.. take care all.

>thread closed<

And I will add all of you, esp those that report some of the posts, if you will stop copying the entire post, and cut and paste parts of the post, it is easier to DELETE their posts so we don't have to go into your pasts and edit and edit and edit.

If the copy serves no purpose why do it.