Found this site, thoght might be a good way to help solve my thoughts.
About 4 months ago, I saw a girl near I work, I thought nice, she cute. Then that Thursday I met a guy at pub who I just had a drink with and his girlfriend. Anyway as fate would have it, I ran into him at pub week after with is wife... And by coincidence same girl from where I work etc.
Anyway a frienship kind of formed, would see them there at pub, talk etc but I also started having lunch with this girl. They had problems as they were trying to get back together but he was reluctant to put all his eggs in 1 basket as he had been hirt before.
So we became close and even started to email, Facebook thing, she would say id set you up with someone but I'm the best etc.
So it went from friendship into ultimately having an affair. She bascially ended it a week later with him and we continued on this amazing finding ofeach other. We were a secret as she didn't want to feel like the bad guy in ending it so I played along.
She told me she was falling for me, did everything possible to be part of my kids and family life, talked about living together, you name it she went in for me like I had never seen before.
People finally caught wind that we were together and her ex joined a dating site and was moving on. He even told me he was cool with me being with her as he really needed to move on after 20 years.
But something then happened, I just agreed to move in with her and I started getting all this , I need time out, on vacation etc. be patient with me. I felt like I was losing her. She had lots of other stuff going on but I couldn't shake in my head that it was about him and she wasn't letting go like he was. So I probably pushed a bit to find out which didn't help.
She now says that she doesn't know why she can't let go, that her ex is doing her head in saying to me one thing but saying another to her. In a nutshell she prepared to throw us away to put her life on hold to prove she is worth it to him. He on dating sites, meeting other women, never there for her. Not sure if she wants him back, or in her heart its not closed. We still sleep together which probably doesn't help but I find myself just about over it. Iwouldnt of minded if it had just been a casual thing but she went head first. Took me to top of mountain and then feels like I have been pushed off with great ease now that she realizes he wants to move on and gave me his blessing so to speak.
I could go on heaps more but I guess, in my heart I see smething amazing later on and was willing to ride it out and be patient but she almost to the point where I am feeling degraded that someone that wanted me so much still texts me but is doing the same to him.
Do I run or do I trusther heart and be patient.

Run boy, run for your life. To me this girl sounds like she has serious problems. She is sending you both mix messages which in a way is two timing you both. She is especially doing the wrong thing by your kids if she is coming in as a mother figure then deciding she didn't want this. Your kids will most likely feel they were not good enough or have done something wrong. They need to come first! Leave her now. I hope this has somewhat helped. Xx

Don't walk, but run away fast! Your relationship started in deceit, and will end in deceit. Honesty and trust are the foundation of any relationship. If you keep on pursuing this, and let her play each of you against the other, you are headed for disaster! If she cheated with you, she will cheat on you. There is no basis for a stable or lasting relationship here.

Find a single woman who is trustworthy, and will be faithful only to you. Don't get involved with a woman who has not yet gotten over someone else. I guarantee you, you will be the one that is hurt in the end. Just the fact the husband has given you his "blessing" screams of trouble, especially when they are still contacting each other all of the time. Don't involve your children in is situation. At the very least, you are rebound guy, and she is using you.

Run... Run... Run!! Do not pass go, and do not collect 200 dollars! She is only telling you things you want to hear. Next time, make sure the women you get involved with are not attached!

Don't walk, but run away fast!! Your relationship started out in deceit, and will end in deceit. Honestly and trust are the foundation of any relationship. If you keep on pursuing this, and let her play each of you against the other, you are headed for disaster! If she cheated with you, she will cheat on you. There is no basis for a stable or lasting relationship here.

Find a single woman who is trustworthy, and will be faithful only to you. Don't get involved with a woman who has not yet gotten over someone else. I guarantee you, you will be the one that is hurt in the end. Just the fact the the husband has given you his "blessing" screams of trouble, especially when they are still contacting each other all of the time. Don't involve your children in is situation. At the very least, you are rebound guy, and she is using you.

Run...Run...Run!!!! Do not pass go, and do not collect 200 dollars! She is only telling you things you want to hear. Next time, make sure the women you get involved with are not attached!!

Yes I hear you.. she has been honest with things and said to me that she needs space to sort her head out. Always telling me what emotion she feeling. I ant question her on that, I have asked her so many times , if you want him back please tell me and I will walk away but she says I don't know. Half her heart still stuck with him and other half with me now. I guess holding onto to what I thort was true just a few weeks back is unravelling in front of my very eyes and don't know whether to fight the fight hoping she will wake up and just know she cn move on and be happy. 1 week its I want to move ahead but then week after she stuck in that place again

yes i hear ya..she has been honest with things and said to me that she needs space to sort her head out. Alwyas telling me what emotion she feeling. I ant question her on that, i have asked her so many times , if you want him back please tell me and i will walk away but she says i dont know. half her heart still stuck with him and other half with me now. I guess holding onto to what i thort was true just a few weeks back is unravelling in front of my very eyes and dont know whether to fight the fight hoping she will wake up and just know she cn move on and be happy. 1 week its i want to move ahead but then week after she stuck in that place again

It's up to you to take the high road, and tell her this isn't the type of relationship you will allow yourself to be in. Tell her it is obvious to you that she has not finished with other business, and you have more pride in yourself than to be involved in her emotional triangle.

Tell her when her divorce is final, and she has gotten over her husband, then maybe you might have a conversation with her, but at this point, you will not involve yourself until she has gotten the emotional help she needs, and she can honestly prove that to you.

Move on, and find someone that loves you and wants to be with you, and no one else. Once again, if you don't do that, you will be loser in this if you allow that you happen. You have got the control here, not her.