View Full Version : My girlfriend is still in love with he ex boyfreind she dated online.
sablack
Aug 29, 2008, 07:49 AM
I've been dating this girl for like six month now... and she is my first girlfriend. She is 5 years younger than me and sometime I think she is still immature and childlish. The problem I have with her is that she still talk to her ex boyfriend... and I believe she is still in love with him after all these years she broken up with him... and what make me mad about this relationship between him and her in the past. Is that it is an online relationship and which she never met that guy and still in love with him. I know that what she is doing is wrong and she know that is too, but she still do it even though she know it will hurt me. But she do tell me that she still talk to him and such. And I know she really like me too, but I believe she have more feeling toward her ex boyfriend than me. Me and her broken up like 3 times alreadyand got back together. And the thing also I barely get to see her, because she have a strict parent who wouldn't let her go out and such, and for me I have all the time in the world and I make time for her. But for me I believe she doesn't want to do that... since yesterday she told me that she won't be able to see as much as before because she is attending college and she will be joining clubs. That really hit me, I was like this relationship will never work out if this is going to happen because I'm the type of guy who like to spend every moment with my girlfriend, and wanted her by my side when I'm down and lonely. What should I do? Should I break up with her and move on?. I already tried and it's not working for me... and my friend all told me I'm just tooo nice and how can you do it and still be with her... all of my friends and family doesn't like what she do to me... and all of her old friend don't even talk to her anymore... I want to break up with her personally but not on the phone or on AIM... but I know I wouldn't be able to see her for a long while. What should I do? Give her a call and tell her how I feel and see if she is willing to change and or just break it off and still be friend?
liz28
Aug 29, 2008, 08:17 AM
If she's in love with this cyber guy she'll never be able to devoted herself to you. Right now she is emotional attach to this guy even though they never met. I find it stupid to be in a relationship with someone you never met for years and then love them but things like this is happening. If you want someone for you and you only, you need move on because it won't happen with this girl. It's better to do it now before you get more attached. Right now she's not on the same page as you. Don't sit around hoping that her feeling will change either because that might take a while or never happen.
hjpan
Aug 29, 2008, 09:34 AM
Tell her that the online boyfriend may be some paedophilia who has pictures of the same guy.
Also, you need to inform her that the issue is uncalled for.. she's never met the guy and probably will never will.
My first relationship was online and went to long distance... lasted 15 months~
Met the girl... had sex... did what couples do...
sablack
Aug 29, 2008, 09:39 AM
My relationship is great and our sex life is like w/e... she would be telling me that she want to be abstinence for like a month... that's plain retarded and I barely get to see her. There was this one day when she told me that she isn't the type of girl who like to be with her boyfriend all of the time... becuase she will get tired of that person... how cruel is that? And the thing about her, she just say whatever is on her mind... like at one time she told me she is going to go to her cousin house and go clubbing with her cousin... and which it didn't happen and she ended staying at home. She is complicated, and she get mad at me when I went clubbing that day.
hjpan
Aug 29, 2008, 09:41 AM
yea...but the thing is with her is like so unpredictable...in everything she does. When everything seem so right and all of a sudden it just go bad. She is so complicated, and treat me unfairly...-_-, and i dont know why i am with her...everytime i am with her she makes me happy and my anger would just go away...she like have a spell cast on me or something..
Well, she's trying to balance you and the online boyfriend at the same time
liz28
Aug 29, 2008, 09:45 AM
I can see someone not wanting to spend every moment with their boyfriend because you need space but this girl is in love with someone she never met, so you can't expect much from her.
sablack
Aug 29, 2008, 09:52 AM
Yea, I know... it is like I put more effort in this relationship rather than the both of us. She hardly shows any kind of affection whatsoever.. she said she losted all in the past of her relationship... Her ex. Boyfriend was a rebound... and she said I wasn't and I don't know... she said she really like me... she always make me question myself... why.
hjpan
Aug 29, 2008, 10:12 AM
yea, i know...it is like i put more effort in this relationship rather than the both of us. She hardly shows any kind of affection whatsoever..she said she losted all in the past of her relationship...Her ex. bf was a rebound...and she said i wasn't and i dont know...she said she really like me....she alway make me question myself...why.
Find a new girl. Obviously, she's not worth anything.
BMI
Aug 29, 2008, 10:32 AM
I don't really agree with a lot being said on this thread.
I do not like the fact she seems attached to someone she has never met, other than that what is her crime?
You ASSUME she loves this guy more than you, you THINK she still has feelings for him. She never mentioned that or you failed to mention her thoughts on the guy. If anything you could express your distaste for her entertaining what seems to be a silly, juvenile relationship with an internet ghost. If she won't than let her have her fairy friend and move on.
I do not agree or think you have any right to voice your displeasure over her not being able to see you because of school commitments. You like to spend 24 hours a day with her and she is not of the same view, does that mean she does not like you? What you want and what reality is are two very different things. I don't understand why your family is saying that she treats you badly, should she drop out of school to stay around you 24/7??
I know this sounds harsh but it is what it is. It's meant to help. Seems like a bit of self pity going on whenin reality it is closer to you just not getting exactly what you want. It's your first girlfriend so you have no experience with it, learn that you can't always get what you want. Now who sang that song again?? :)
liz28
Aug 29, 2008, 10:35 AM
Why be with someone that you have second guess about and is emotionally unavailable. I see you caring more about her then her about you. At least was up front about things, now you need to move on. There's other girls out there.
sablack
Aug 29, 2008, 10:44 AM
I don't really agree with alot being said on this thread.
I do not like the fact she seems attached to someone she has never met, other than that what is her crime?
You ASSUME she loves this guy more than you, you THINK she still has feelings for him. She never mentioned that or you failed to mention her thoughts on the guy. If anything you could express your distaste for her entertaining what seems to be a silly, juvenile relationship with an internet ghost. If she won't than let her have her fairy friend and move on.
I do not agree or think you have any right to voice your displeasure over her not being able to see you b/c of school commitments. You like to spend 24 hours a day with her and she is not of the same view, does that mean she does not like you? What you want and what reality is are two very different things. I don't understand why your family is saying that she treats you badly, should she drop out of school to stay around you 24/7???
I know this sounds harsh but it is what it is. It's meant to help. Seems like a bit of self pity going on whenin reality it is closer to you just not getting exactly what you want. It's your first girlfriend so you have no experience with it, learn that you can't always get what you want. Now who sang that song again????:)
The thing is all of her depression come from of her ex... he called her and he treated her wrong and he cheated on her and she still love him... she couldn't get him off her mind...
And I do understand her situation about school... I told her do as you please because I don't mind... education come first and I know that... and that good too it isn't that I want her all to myself and see her 24/7... the problem is that I barely get to see her and I hope that she does make time for me, and every time I do get to see her is like for 2 hour or so... out of this 6 month relationship I only get to see her for like a month combining all of the days and like 60 hours totals or being with each other...
BMI
Aug 29, 2008, 10:51 AM
Than that's the situation my friend. I suspect you know the answer to your question. You know what the right thing to do is inside. Do that!