View Full Version : Biological clock attacking me!
Worries2Much
Aug 27, 2008, 07:24 AM
Has anyone here experienced the incredibly strong need to have a child?
I am 26 and in a stable relationship but have never before in my life had such strong urges to conceive. It's all I think about. I daydream about this constantly. I am very serious about my desire to be married before children come along, which is why this desire is driving me crazy!!
I have had minor thoughts and feelings pointing in this direction in the past, but it's usually a fleeting thought and goes away.
Now, my mind is consumed by it. And I am worrying that by the time I actually try to conceive I may not be able to. I know that sounds silly but I had a miscarriage at a younger age and now it frightens me that something I want so badly may not happen.
Has anyone else experienced such feelings? This has lasted for over two months now and I need support from others who feel this too.
Thanks!
joanne 1986
Aug 27, 2008, 07:40 AM
I get these urges all the time,Im trying for a baby so that's the only thing I think of from time to time! Maybe you are ready to have a child if your urge is so strong then go ahead with it,although it is natural for woman to get these urges to have children.
Emland
Aug 27, 2008, 08:23 AM
It's the hormones!
I have 2 kids, been married over 20 years and knew for certain I wanted my tubes tied after baby #2.
A couple of weeks ago I had the oddest yearning for a baby. I applied chocolate until the feeling went away.
Worries2Much
Aug 27, 2008, 08:36 AM
I'm just trying to hold off another couple years until I know for a fact I'm in the best possible place in my life to have a child. Actually, I guess you never really know that for sure, but I really do want to be married first, and I always thought I'd wait until about a year after that to start trying which means I would be 29 by then!
I always thought I would have children young, I never thought it would be in my 30s.
It makes me feel very panicky that I would have to wait that long. Not because of the urges but because I feel like that is just too old to start my family. Especially if it takes a long time to conceive. See what I mean about my name? I'm a big huge ball of worry.
If I ate chocolate to get rid of this urge, I'd gain 10 pounds!
gigi0317
Aug 27, 2008, 10:39 AM
Hii worries2much
What your feeling is normal I am trying to conceive so,yes I have that feeling of wanted a baby so0o bad.Its really weird I always said I never wanted kids or people consider me a person who just wasn't into kids.1 day to another I wanted to become a mother me and hubby talk things through how would everything work and decided to start trying.Yes I had such a strong need to become a mother seeing other woman pregnant made me feel how much I wanted to be pregnant and expecting my 1st child.You sound very stable maybe you and hubby should talk about start trying.
GOOD LUCK...
hollylovesbrandon
Aug 27, 2008, 12:38 PM
I am only 22 but I do understand that the urge can sometimes be very strong. I worry very deeply about the same issue. My mother had me when she was 35 and she died of cancer when I was 15 (suffered with it for nearly 9 years). I feel like if I do not have my children now, then I will somehow get breast cancer like she did and not be able to be around for them like they need me to. It really does eat at me everyday sometimes.
So it is easy to understand a 26 year old woman would have these thoughts. I know you want a baby, but you really need to consider everything that goes along with a baby. Do you want it to have a daddy, a man in it's life? Do you have money to support it through EVERYTHING? At this point in your life are you will to lose ALL your sleep to stay up with it? Are you in good physical condition to help support the life that will grow inside of you? Can you emotionally handle and screaming, crying, wet and hungry baby 24/7 365 days a year?
I understand the biological clock, I really do. But you might need to think about pulling the batteries out of that thing until you are ready. You can't keep yourself from thinking about it, but you can at least keep yourself from jumping into it too early. Watch baby shows and maybe take up babysitting. Not only will it allow you to qwell your emotions because you technically have babies in your life, but it will also prepare you for the role of mommy when the time does come!
Worries2Much
Aug 28, 2008, 02:58 AM
It's kind of funny you say that Holly.
I do watch the baby shows and it actually intensifies the feeling. So I stopped doing that!
My parents had my sister very late in life and since my mom (a nurse) worked evenings and my dad worked out of state a lot, I was pretty much the guardian a lot of the time. I'm very familiar with babies.
I'm also financially secure and my boyfriend and I are moving into our new house this weekend. I have a great career and my relationship with my boyfriend is very stable. Marriage is something we talk frequently about. I definitely plan to wait until after we are married, mainly the trouble I am having right now is the feeling of need. I feel like I NEED to have a child. I have dreams all of the time about children, mainly the pregnancy and the birth; I feel so envious of women who are pregnant or have babies. I also have so many things I want to do with my children and teach them. I can't wait to see them grow and see what great people they turn out to be. I have definitely thought this through, mainly I am just trying to dodge the urge for now.
It's really hard though! Thanks!
Emland
Aug 28, 2008, 06:31 AM
OP: Maybe you could try training for a marathon or working for a particular cause which will make you focus on something else and give you a sense of fulfillment. When I was having really bad peri-menopausal symptoms after the birth of my DD a friend of mine recommended exercise - the kind that makes you sweat to try to get my hormones in balance. I started Irish Dancing which led to an involvement with the booster club, etc. which is a great distraction. Just a thought.