PDA

View Full Version : Unfit mother


ANB428
Aug 22, 2008, 07:01 AM
You need to stop going out all the time. I have two jobs and I go to school full time and I don't live anywhere around my mother. I NEVER go out and I got pregnant at 18 and I am now 22. I go out maybe once every 5 months. So, you need to buckle down and stop going out, or move out of your mom's house and raise your kid. You life was over when you decided to have the baby. It is about the baby now, not about you. I know that it sucks but that is life.

CobraGirl03
Aug 22, 2008, 07:22 AM
I disagree with ANB428. Your life is not over just because you have a baby. As long as you are going out AFTER your baby goes to bed, then you are not neglecting your parenting duties. I do think that you have a resposibility to act in a respectable manor while you are out. You should not be getting drunk, and especially driving drunk, or sleeping around with random men you meet at bars. The way I think about it is that if you would be ashamed to tell your daughter how you acted when she is older, then you don't need to be doing it. But going out in itself is not a bad thing. However, as long as you live in her home and she is the one staying home with your baby while you are out, your mother does have a right to say what you do. Her house, her rules. Her threat to you should be that if you do not do what she wants, then you will have to find another place to live. Which may be what you want to do anyway by the sound of things.
My brother signed custody of his daughter over to our mother when she was little and then she refused to give her back. And he lost in court because the courts told him that he had to prove why moving her was a benefit over where she was already living. They said that she already had a stable home and they needed a reason to up-root her. His daughter is now 12 and he still does not have custody. If you love your daughter, you either need to do what your mother wants or move out. Maybe you can sit down with her and come to an agreement that you will limit the number of times you go out, maybe once a week. She may feel as though you are taking advantage of her by leaving the baby with her every night. Just something to think about...

N0help4u
Aug 23, 2008, 08:19 AM
It might help if this was with the original post. Which it doesn't seem to be

I agree with Anb428 that your social life is over after you choose to have a baby unless you can get a RESPONSIBLE babysitter and you are not trying to act like you have no responsibilities or being irresponsible. Many single moms lives are over in that sense once they have a baby because many people will not watch a kid so the mother can go out living it up because they feel it is the mothers responsibility because she choose to have the baby.
I have seen so many young moms have babies and then demand mom watches them so they can go out and have more babies (basically). So the mother ends up being responsible for the daughter AND the grand baby and then grandma is the one with NO life!