My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. We were living together and had been together for 5 years. For the first week, I contacted him almost every day. Then finally I stopped contacting him. 2 days ago, I went to the apt. to pick up some things I needed. He came home while I was there. We chatted a little about nonsense. Then, I asked him if we could just sit and talk for a bit and he said sure. We sat and talked for almost an hour about what we have been up to for the past 2 weeks as we haven't seen each other at all. He asked me how I was doing. I told him that I had been OK. I have been really upset, but I tried to be strong and kept myself distracted. He told me he had felt horrible for the past two weeks. That he had had all bad days with some good moments.

We talked about the apartment because I was concerned that he wouldn't be able to afford it. I have already found a new apartment and am moving out this week. He said he wanted to keep the apartment and take care of things on his own. He wants to pay all the bills and learn how to manage on his own. He wants to clean up and buy nice furniture and redecorate once I get my stuff out. He wants to learn how to take care of himself and figure out who he is and what he wants.

We talked some more and he told me that he still cared about me a lot. I told him that I still had hope for us. That I thought this would make us both better. He agreed. I asked him if he still loved me. He said that he did love me, but it wasn't the same. Then I asked him if it was OK for us to hang out some time since we both miss each other's company and really enjoyed seeing each other that day and talking. He said that he would like that a lot. He said we could maybe have lunch some time and that he would call me.

I don't know how I feel about this whole situation. I'm afraid of getting hurt. I'm afraid of getting my hopes up, just to be disappointed. All the things he said he wanted to change with regards to the apartment and himself are all the reasons we always argued. I want to believe that he is taking this action so that we can be better together, but at the same time, I'm not sure. I'm afraid what he wants is to keep me around as a friend and I don't think I can do that. I asked him about it, but he just said he wasn't sure about us and just wants to see what happens. Should I trust him?

My bf broke up with me 2 weeks ago. We were living together and had been together for 5 years. For the first week, I contacted him almost every day. Then finally I stopped contacting him. 2 days ago, I went to the apt. to pick up some things I needed. He came home while I was there. We chatted a little about nonsense. Then, I asked him if we could just sit and talk for a bit and he said sure. We sat and talked for almost an hour about what we have been up to for the past 2 weeks as we haven't seen each other at all. He asked me how I was doing. I told him that I had been ok. I have been really upset, but I tried to be strong and kept myself distracted. He told me he had felt horrible for the past two weeks. That he had had all bad days with some good moments.

We talked about the apartment because I was concerned that he wouldn't be able to afford it. I have already found a new apartment and am moving out this week. He said he wanted to keep the apartment and take care of things on his own. He wants to pay all the bills and learn how to manage on his own. He wants to clean up and buy nice furniture and redecorate once I get my stuff out. He wants to learn how to take care of himself and figure out who he is and what he wants.

We talked some more and he told me that he still cared about me a lot. I told him that I still had hope for us. That I thought this would make us both better. He agreed. I asked him if he still loved me. He said that he did love me, but it wasn't the same. Then I asked him if it was ok for us to hang out some time since we both miss each other's company and really enjoyed seeing each other that day and talking. He said that he would like that a lot. He said we could maybe have lunch some time and that he would call me.

I don't know how I feel about this whole situation. I'm afraid of getting hurt. I'm afraid of getting my hopes up, just to be disappointed. All the things he said he wanted to change with regards to the apartment and himself are all the reasons why we always argued. I want to believe that he is taking this action so that we can be better together, but at the same time, I'm not sure. I'm afraid what he wants is to keep me around as a friend and i don't think I can do that. I asked him about it, but he just said he wasn't sure about us and just wants to see what happens. Should I trust him?
If i were you i would try and get over him (enough to where you can be around him and not cry) and just try and be friends but don't get to close!! Let him be his own man so he can see if he will make it or not!! Don't be pushie because then he will push away and say that you have gone crazy!! Best of luck!!

Of course you should trust him. Why not? He sounds like he's being totally honest with you and you are the one continuing to push the "us" agenda. He's being polite.

And also, love rarely fades away completely, even in unsuccessful relationships, the "love reflex" is pretty automatic. It doesn't take much effort on our part to fall in love and stay in love. So, he's being honest when he says he still cares. But he told you, "Not in the same way".

You need to pay attention. If you get hurt again with this guy, it's going to be mostly your own doing. So realize that now. He's moving into his next phase of life and really wants to do it without you. You softly keeping yourself in the picture is your choice, not his. When it doesn't blossom back into movie romance, well, was it ever going to?

Probably not.

Yes, you can keep trying to breath life into this thing. He really doesn't want to, but may let you try. He's actually interested in moving on. Truly.

Wouldn't it be great for you to be in a relationship with a guy who is pursuing YOUR time, not the other way around? It will definitely happen, but not while you're chasing this guy.

But it's your call.

The romance is definitely over, and until you have gotten over that fact, and accepted it, you can never heal. Without mourning the death of this relationship, and healing, you can never truly be friends.

Not contacting him, and rebuilding your own life without him, will take time, so don't rush into a friendship with an ex, just to keep him in your life.

Then you avoid the hurt, misery, and humiliation, of holding on to something that is unavailable to you.