I want to know how to get full custody of my son. His father moved to California while I was pregnant. His name is not on the birth certificate and my son has my last name. I let him visit with his father because I thought it would be nice. Well that was 4 weeks ago and I found out my son is not with him but with his psychotic grandmom in Minnesota. She does not want to give me my son. Im in Virginia right now and is on my way back to Minnesota and want to know what's the procedure to file for full custody of my son.

There is no custody order? Still, I would call the law enforcemetn office closest to the grandma NOW and advise them of the situation. She has no legal right to withhold your child from you ; in most states it is considered kidnapping.

Once you have done that, go to the court house in your area, or go online if it is an option in your state/county and fill out the documents for child custody, ask for a fee waiver if you can't afford the filing fee and file those docs ASAP

There is no custody order? Still, I would call the law enforcemetn office closest to the grandma NOW and advise them of the situation. She has no legal right to withhold your child from you ; in most states it is considered kidnapping.

once you have done that, go to the court house in your area, or go online if it is an option in your state/county and fill out the documents for child custody, ask for a fee waiver if you can't afford the filing fee and file those docs ASAP



You don't need a custody order - he's not the legal/declared father. You can simply withhold the child once you get the child back. Right now it's your ball game and he has now say.

Let him get an order for visitation, you countersue for support, you explain why his visitation has to be supervised (or not at all).

As far as his mother having the child you can contact the Police - without a custody order I don't know how interested they will be so your best bet is to call the father, tell him you want the child back. He has every right to have the child visit relatives at this point, as do you.

Call the police
Mention that you had allowed the father access not the grandma and if the father does not have his name on the birth certifict the only right he has is to pay. The grandma has none at all and will have even less after this
Second step get ahold of child services (social services) were the grandma lives and let them know the situation
If you have to go down there get a police officer to come with you and get your child back
I live in canada so things might be different but when you go for custody go through the higher courts that way no other court can overule it
Best of luck
If he goes for visation rights ask the courts for it to be supervised and for his mother not to have any access unless she goes to the court herself for visation rights (make sure to keep all paper work from now to then, name of social works, police officers, file numbers everything)

call the police
mention that you had allowed the father access not the grandma and if the father does not have his name on the birth certifict the only right he has is to pay. the grandma has none at all and will have even less after this
second step get ahold of child services (social services) were the grandma lives and let them know the situation
if you have to go down there get a police officer to come with you and get your child back
i live in canada so things might be different but when you go for custody go through the higher courts that way no other court can overule it
best of luck
if he goes for visation rights ask the courts for it to be supervised and for his mother not to have any access unless she goes to the court herself for visation rights (make sure to keep all paper work from now to then, name of social works, police officers, file numbers everything)


It is not the same in the US, unfortunately - when the father has custody of the child he also has control of the child, including who the child visits, where the child goes. Without a specific Court Order which would have to order supervised visitation the custodial parent cannot control all aspects of the other parent's visitation.

A mother on the legal board went through this within the past two months - the Police would not take action because without an Order both mother and father are entitled to the child. She eventually filed for emergency relief, an emergency order, and that is how she got the child back.

The people who post went back and forth about whether the grandmother had kidnapped the child, could she be arrested, what was State law - but in the end the emergency petition to return the child and grant the mother custody brought the child back.

It is not the same in the US, unfortunately - when the father has custody of the child he also has control of the child, including who the child visits, where the child goes. Without a specific Court Order which would have to order supervised visitation the custodial parent cannot control all aspects of the other parent's visitation.

A mother on the legal board went through this within the past two months - the Police would not take action because without an Order both mother and father are entitled to the child. She eventually filed for emergency relief, an emergency order, and that is how she got the child back.

The people who post went back and forth about whether the grandmother had kidnapped the child, could she be arrested, what was State law - but in the end the emergency petition to return the child and grant the mother custody brought the child back.

Thank you I didn't know that, just seems strange the father would have as many rights to the child when no paper work proves him to be the father even if no parenting order has been granted (parenting order is what canada calls it sounds stupid compared to custody) that be like finding a babysitter and then the babysitter hands the child over to its mother and she doesn't want to return the child to its biological mother. Anyway my thoughts of what makes sense and this women getting her child back are two different subjects ill step out of this conversation because you know better then me.
God Bless and please remain strong your child deserves you and not a kidnapper

thank you I didnt know that, just seems strange the father would have as many rights to the child when no paper work proves him to be the father even if no parenting order has been granted (parenting order is what canada calls it sounds stupid compared to custody) that be like finding a babysitter and then the babysitter hands the child over to its mother and she dosnt want to return the child to its biological mother. Anyways my thoughts of what makes sence and this women getting her child back are two different subjects ill step out of this conversation because you know better then me.
God Bless and please remain strong your child deserves you and not a kidnapper



Problem is the mother acknowledges he's the father and let him take the child.

Don't step out of the conversation - what you have posted is going to be helpful the next time someone in Canada posts. It's amazing how much you can learn on the threads, how much the law varies from place to place. Questions are always welcome - goodness knows, I have a bunch!

The whole custody thing is why the Police "usually" have no interest - they aren't the Courts (obviously) and their job is to enforce the law and various Orders and in this case it's "he said/she said" and no Order!

You didn't mention any custody papers at all. I The state I live in the mother can get custody and child support, without the farther being at the court.
It sounds like with 2 states involved that you need a lawyer now to get an emergency order. In my state this takes priority in the courts, so it may only be few days.
It doesn't sound right that this man can give his child to his mother, but the law can be a strange thing. You need a lawyer now..

You didn't mention any custody papers at all. I The state I live in the mother can get custody and child support, without the farther being at the court.
It sounds like with 2 states involved that you need a lawyer now to get an emergency order. In my state this takes priority in the courts, so it may only be few days.
It doesn't sound right that this man can give his child to his mother, but the law can be a strange thing. You need a lawyer now..


The mother can get custody and support without the father being in Court in any State as long as he is notified of the proceeding - he does not have to appear. It's his choice.

As I said, this has been addressed on the legal boards before - at the moment the mother and father have joint rights to the child as biological parents without any Court order although the mother has control of the situation - or did - by virtue of having control over the child.

As far as I can tell the father did not "give" the child to his mother. The child is visiting with his grandmother. If this is not the mother's choice, yes, she can attempt to get an emergency order OR just ask that the child be returned to her.

Ok So I asked a question previously about my son visiting his father in California and his mom taking my son. Well she returned him to his father before I could catch her. I told the father I was coming to get him because I do not trust him and don't know what he will do next. He told me I could not come and get him and we would have to go to family court in order for me to get him. Is this true? He has not signed any papers stating he is the father and his name is not on the birth certificate. I reside in Minnesota and him in California.So do we have the custody hearing in Mn or Ca? What are my rights in this situation?

Judy "give" was the wrong choice of words , perhaps "leaving" the child with Grandma and then Grandma refusing to return said child to the Mother would have been a better choice.
I agree with everything you said.

We need some more info from you to help. How old is the child? Was this the first time you let the child stay with the father? Is there ANY paperwork showing that he is the father?

Your best bet is to get an attorney to file for full custody where you live. Then take that custody order and pick up the child. If the current caretaker refuses to relinquish the child, leave immediately and go to the local police show them the custody order and tell them this woman is refusing to relinquish the child. There is a good likelihood they will accompany you to pick up the child.

Since the father is not on the because, you MIGHT be able to get away with just showing the police the because and getting them to accompany you back to pick up the child. But I would be more inclined to get a custody order first.

You didn't mention any custody papers at all. I The state I live in the mother can get custody and child support, without the farther being at the court.
It sounds like with 2 states involved that you need a lawyer now to get an emergency order. In my state this takes priority in the courts, so it may only be few days.
It doesn't sound right that this man can give his child to his mother, but the law can be a strange thing. You need a lawyer now..

Same can be said for down here in alberta, usually the courts prefer for the father or ex to be notified but for "exparta" situations (emergencies), the courts will grant custody, or restraining orders, without the ex being any wiser. Child maintence is a different subject though Ive watched cases thrown out because the mother did not know where the father was to serve him and he would just start going in debt each month.
I personally did not have to serve my ex paper work to go for parenting (custody), didn't know where he is, knew his parents address and was going to ask to serve them certified mail, but because of a exparta order that had been in effect in the past, lack of knowledge of were he is and no contact in over 2 and half yrs the courts granted me everything I asked for.

Since his name is on nothing you really could get him for kidnapping.
You need to tell the police that he had him for a visit and he has no legal rights to keep him and everything about how he isn't even on the birth certificate or anything. If you at all possibly are able maybe you should just make a surprise visit to California and take their local police to his house. Make sure you have your sons birth certificate and your ID with you.

And no it is not true that you can not go and get your son. He has no rights to him until he goes to court and establishes paternity and gets custody/visitation orders.

Based upon your outline, you may want to contact the FBI as your child has been taken across state lines. Also, him mom may be an accomplice because she took him there. If this man is not the father, why did you let him mom take your son?

Please do not wait and call them ASAP. This can have an impact on the outcome.

First, please use the Answer This Question, Quote User or Post Quick Answer options to follow-up, Do not start a new thread. I've merged the threads for you.

I stand by the advice I originally gave you. At this point in time the father has NO legal standing since he's not on the birth certificate and there is no court order.

Contacting the FBI is not a bad idea. They can at least let you know what you have to do. At best they will help you regain custody. You should still start the ball rolling on formalizing custody. You do this where YOU live. If the father needs to appear let him make arrangements to appear. As soon as you have filed the paperwork, then go to the FBI and see what they say.

But since he has no legal standing and you have a birth certificate that proves that, you should be able to get local police to accompany you to recover the child. I don't know what advice the father is getting but its very bad advice. What he should have done was file his own petition for custody which would have involved a paternity test. Most likely, if he was proven the father, he could have gotten joint custody with visitation rights. Now that he has taken the law into his own hands, the possibilities are less.

He is the father he was not present when I had him to sign the birth certificate, he had moved to California. Me and his mom don't get along because she wants to raise the baby. So when I let him visit his dad she went behind my back and took the baby for 3 weeks. I had no idea. She returned him yesterday but the dad is saying I can't get him and we will have to go to family court in Cali, but me and my son live in MN. He said he is going to get a paternity test today too. I am in contact with both California court and Minnesota and they both are saying he has to file for custody where the child resides.

When I went there a lawyer did draw up papers saying that he had the power of attorney while the child was with him. So he is telling me he has those papers and that's why I can't come take the child.

Also I checked into filing full custody papers and they said the recognition of parentage had to be signed in order to start the process I let the clerk no that he did not sign that so she told me it was need to file full custody. And to be frank I can't afford a attorney at this moment It'l be a week before I can get the money together for me to get to California.

The point is though that whether he is the father or not since his name is not on the birth certificate he needs to now prove he is the father for him to have any legal standing so as we have been saying you need to get the authorities involved at getting your son back.
You need to go to court and file custody and go through the whole legal process before you even allow him to see your son again.

I do not know how much rights he has to keep your son if you did power of attorney papers for him. You need to get your son asap because those papers may hold enough weight that the longer he has your son the harder it is to get him back.
I am not sure but you really do need to do whatever it takes to get him back asap anyway no matter what.

If you are low income you can fill out papers at the family court and they will assign you a free defender

You have received some very good advice here and you are ignoring it. Why is that?

A power of attorney has no bearing in a case like this. A Power of Attorney is given by someone to allow another person to act for them if they become incapacitated. Your son is a minor so can't grant POA to someone. What you may have signed was a temporary guardianship.

You really have gone about this in all the wrong ways. You need a copy of whatever document you signed. You need to establish residence. You need to file for custody. You can't afford NOT to have an attorney at this point.

He is the father he was not present when I had him to sign the birth certificate, he had moved to California. Me and his mom dont get along because she wants to raise the baby. So when I let him visit his dad she went behind my back and took the baby for 3 weeks. I had no idea. She returned him yesterday but the dad is saying I can't get him and we will have to go to family court in Cali, but me and my son live in MN. He said he is going to get a paternity test today too. I am in contact with both California court and Minnesota and they both are saying he has to file for custody where the child resides.

When I went there a lawyer did draw up papers saying that he had the power of attorney while the child was with him. So he is telling me he has those papers and thats why I can't come take the child.

Also I checked into filing full custody papers and they said the recognition of parentage had to be signed in order to start the process I let the clerk no that he did not sign that so she told me it was need to file full custody. And to be frank I can't afford a attorney at this moment It'l be a week before I can get the money together for me to get to California.


A Power of Attorney has absolutely nothing to do with custody - I would get myself into family court as soon as possible and ask for some qualified in family law in your area to take a look at this situation and make some recommendations.

How long has the child been gone? This is not going to reflect well on you - particularly if you claim the father and his mother are both (or one or the other) unstable and you still let him take the child.

I'd get moving -

Ok first off Im not ignoring any advice actually I am taking heed to everything everyone has said. I have contacted an attorney and she said the best thing to do was an emergency order so that's what I am doing now. Thank you all for your answers!

Ok first off Im not ignoring any advice actually I am taking heed to everything everyone has said. I have contacted an attorney and she said the best thing to do was an emergency order so thats what I am doing now. Thank you all for your answers!


Please come back and let us know how it works out - someone else will greatly benefit from your experience.

Same can be said for down here in alberta, usually the courts prefer for the father or ex to be notified but for "exparta" situations (emergencies), the courts will grant custody, or restraining orders, without the ex being any wiser. Child maintence is a different subject though Ive watched cases thrown out because the mother did not know where the father was to serve him and he would just start going in debt each month.
I personally did not have to serve my ex paper work to go for parenting (custody), didnt know where he is, knew his parents address and was going to ask to serve them certified mail, but because of a exparta order that had been in effect in the past, lack of knowledge of were he is and no contact in over 2 and half yrs the courts granted me everything I asked for.

Good for your state and good for you. I am so glad things worked out for you.

When my youngest grandchild was born she went home with her father ( my son) The mother went down to the courthouse and filed for child support and got it. My son was kind of lazy about fixing things so he did nothing until they begin to take it out of his check, By then it was about $4,000. We went to court but because we didn't know where the mother was, not even which state, the court would not over rule the first order. They said we had to find her and she had to appear in court. I know it sounds like a lie but I was sitting there and I heard this judge say it. They stopped the child support, but he is still paying back the 4,000 dollars, I don't know who gets it. I think the state must get it because she had welfare for this child but did not have the child for even one day.
She has since moved back here, but the judge will not revise anything. I just love our court system.

mekia, It sounds as if, as Scott said, he is getting bad advice, but it is working, because you do not have your child. I think this man is using intimidation on you and it is working.
You need to get a lawyer and file for whatever you need to. Do not talk to this man unless he is saying that he will bring your child home or release him to you. Do not tell him your plans for anything, Don't even tell him that you are getting a lawyer. Just do it and stop listening to everyone's advice. Us non-lawyers can only give lay-persons advice, you need legal advice.
I, and I am sure everyone here, will be glad to support you in whatever you do, but you need legal advice... pronto

Good for your state and good for you. I am so glad things worked out for you.

When my youngest grandchild was born she went home with her father ( my son) The mother went down to the courthouse and filed for child support and got it. My son was kinda lazy about fixing things so he did nothing until they begin to take it out of his check, By then it was about $4,000. We went to court but because we didn't know where the mother was, not even which state, the court would not over rule the first order. They said we had to find her and she had to appear in court. I know it sounds like a lie but I was sitting there and I heard this judge say it. They stopped the child support, but he is still paying back the 4,000 dollars, I don't know who gets it. I think the state must get it because she had welfare for this child but did not have the child for even one day.
She has since moved back here, but the judge will not revise anything. I just love our court system.



Well, I'm sure it's different when it's your son and it's been a frustrating experience but I think fathers who don't pay support and the mother (and child) go on welfare or into the public system should have to pay back. In this economy I have a difficult enough time supporting myself - I really don't want to support anyone else and their child(ren) because the father doesn't.

And, yes, I'm sure that's where the money is going.

Not saying it's always fair but I'm and out of the Courtroom all the time. I see people who get served, don't appear, then try to get the first Order set aside inconveniencing (and costing money) everyone. If they like the decision, they don't appeal; if they do, they don't - that's not how the system is set up to work.

Again - maybe it's different when it's your son and grandchild but I work on these cases all the time so my perspective is different. I'm sympathetic to what you've gone through but I don't see a great injustice here.

Actually, it sounds to me like the father of the child is doing everything right, and I'm not entirely sure why everyone is jumping all over him. Especially since mom didn't seem to have any problem with him having the child until she found out that the kid was with grandma (whose only problem, as far as I can tell, is that she wants to be involved with her grandchild and has a different opinion than mom on the proper way of raising said child). He is the child's father, and it sounds like he may have been given legal temporary guardianship to the child. And now that the child is physically with him, he is getting paternity legally established and filing for custody. Why shouldn't he take the initiative and do that while the child is with him, rather than waiting for the mother to do it and having to go to her state for the proceedings? Don't we want fathers to be involved with their kids? Legally, once paternity is established, he has as much right to be the primary custodial parent as the mother does.

mekia, It sounds as if, as Scott said, he is getting bad advice, but it is working, because you do not have your child. I think this man is using intimidation on you and it is working.
You need to get a lawyer and file for whatever you need to. Do not talk to this man unless he is saying that he will bring your child home or release him to you. Do not tell him your plans for anything, Don't even tell him that you are getting a lawyer. Just do it and stop listening to everyones advice. Us non-lawyers can only give lay-persons advice, you need legal advice.
I, and I am sure everyone here, will be glad to support you in whatever you do, but you need legal advice..... pronto



Isabelle, got to disagree. The father has every bit as much right to the child as the mother. There should have been a custody/support order from day one, particularly before the father took the child ANYWHERE. Obviously, this was not done.

Until there is a support order OP could have taken the child and gone off. The father just did it first.

OP has no way of knowing whether a conversation with the father will or will not bring the child home so she doesn't know in advance whether the conversation will be productive. I agree with the "don't give him information" statement UNLESS somehow that info will change the father's position on all this. I don't think it will, but -

Attorneys do post on this thread; para-professionals do post on this thread; I have no idea how many years of legal experience are on this one thread. OP has received good legal advice. Not blindly agreeing with Scottgem (and he doesn't need my support) but Scott knows the rules/laws/ropes as well as 90% of all Attorneys. He can both read and interpret the Law.

The first post was August 18; today is August 24 - and I don't see anything has happened from her end of things. She should have moved immediately - and she did not. I'm sure there are reasons but the father got the upper hand because time is/was on his side.

But until someone proves someone else is unfit, then both parents have equal rights to the child.

Good for your state and good for you. I am so glad things worked out for you.

When my youngest grandchild was born she went home with her father ( my son) The mother went down to the courthouse and filed for child support and got it. My son was kinda lazy about fixing things so he did nothing until they begin to take it out of his check, By then it was about $4,000. We went to court but because we didn't know where the mother was, not even which state, the court would not over rule the first order. They said we had to find her and she had to appear in court. I know it sounds like a lie but I was sitting there and I heard this judge say it. They stopped the child support, but he is still paying back the 4,000 dollars, I don't know who gets it. I think the state must get it because she had welfare for this child but did not have the child for even one day.
She has since moved back here, but the judge will not revise anything. I just love our court system.


Yeah they will claim they can't find the father and put the mother through a big mess.
Partially why my x got away with not paying child support. If you go through welfare they want you off welfare so they are more likely actively going to look for the dad. Sounds like you got some lazy workers that couldn't care less and just wanted their days pay.
If the system has to pay cash welfare or support they want their money back and will eventually go after him.

Well, I'm sure it's different when it's your son and it's been a frustrating experience but I think fathers who don't pay support and the mother (and child) go on welfare or into the public system should have to pay back. In this economy I have a difficult enough time supporting myself - I really don't want to support anyone else and their children because the father doesn't.

And, yes, I'm sure that's where the money is going.

Not saying it's always fair but I'm and out of the Courtroom all the time. I see people who get served, don't appear, then try to get the first Order set aside inconveniencing (and costing money) everyone. If they like the decision, they don't appeal; if they do, they don't - that's not how the system is set up to work.

Again - maybe it's different when it's your son and grandchild but I work on these cases all the time so my perspective is different. I'm sympathetic to what you've gone through but I don't see a great injustice here.


Judy. Maybe I wasn't clear enough in my first post. The mother never had the child, not for one day. My son brought his child home from the hospital with him, but she still collected welfare and the court gave her child support, until it was stopped.
What I was saying is that he is paying twice. He has had his daughter her entire life and he paid all medical expenses so she wouldn't abort the child. Now he is paying her back support and raising his daughter.
This is not the case with the original letter writer. Two different cases. I was trying to explain how some states work.
I understand it can be frustrating to not be able to collect what is owned to you, but this mother never... never had the child... not even for one day.

Yeah they will claim they can't find the father and put the mother through a big mess.
Partially why my x got away with not paying child support. If you go through welfare they want you off welfare so they are more likely actively going to look for the dad. Sounds like you got some lazy workers that couldn't care less and just wanted their days pay.
If the system has to pay cash welfare or support they want their money back and will eventually go after him.

I am sure it is very frustrating for you. I know my son has gone through a lot but he has always kept his child. Mom is still dating and playing games with different men. I guess it works both ways huh?

Isabelle, got to disagree. The father has every bit as much right to the child as the mother. There should have been a custody/support order from day one, particularly before the father took the child ANYWHERE. Obviously, this was not done.

Until there is a support order OP could have taken the child and gone off. The father just did it first.

OP has no way of knowing whether a conversation with the father will or will not bring the child home so she doesn't know in advance whether the conversation will be productive. I agree with the "don't give him information" statement UNLESS somehow that info will change the father's position on all this. I don't think it will, but -

Attorneys do post on this thread; para-professionals do post on this thread; I have no idea how many years of legal experience are on this one thread. OP has received good legal advice. Not blindly agreeing with Scottgem (and he doesn't need my support) but Scott knows the rules/laws/ropes as well as 90% of all Attorneys. He can both read and interpret the Law.

The first post was August 18; today is August 24 - and I don't see anything has happened from her end of things. She should have moved immediately - and she did not. I'm sure there are reasons but the father got the upper hand because time is/was on his side.

But until someone proves someone else is unfit, then both parents have equal rights to the child.


Sigh... I never said that Dad didn't have any rights. I think more men should be involved, but legally.
I don't think he should just keep her child against her will. I am not sure they have equal rights anymore.
I also never said she got any bad advice.
As far as any advice goes, I thought there was a disclaimer on this board to protect everyone?
Yeah, I agree, we haven't heard anything, I hope things work out for her.

I want to know how to get full custody of my son. His father moved to California while I was pregnant. His name is not on the birth certificate and my son has my last name. I let him visit with his father because I thought it would be nice. Well that was 4 weeks ago and I found out my son is not with him but with his psychotic grandmom in Minnesota. She does not want to give me my son. Im in Virginia right now and is on my way back to Minnesota and want to know whats the procedure to file for full custody of my son.
Well you can allways call the police and tell them the situation.

Judy. maybe I wasn't clear enough in my first post. The mother never had the child, not for one day. My son brought his child home from the hospital with him, but she still collected welfare and the court gave her child support, until it was stopped.
What I was saying is that he is paying twice. He has had his daughter her entire life and he paid all medical expenses so she wouldn't abort the child. Now he is paying her back support and raising his daughter.
This is not the case with the original letter writer. Two different cases. I was trying to explain how some states work.
I understand it can be frustrating to not be able to collect what is owned to you, but this mother never... never had the child... not even for one day.


Why - and you probably have the same question - did your son miss the Court date?

And you're right - no, I didn't understand "your" situation. Your son is obviously paying double.

Isabelle,
I think some of the problem here is that you are referencing your son's situation which has nothing to do with the OP's. If you want to discuss your son's situation, please start a new thread. Any further references to his situation in this thread will be removed.

He is the father he was not present when I had him to sign the birth certificate, he had moved to California. Me and his mom dont get along because she wants to raise the baby. So when I let him visit his dad she went behind my back and took the baby for 3 weeks. I had no idea. She returned him yesterday but the dad is saying I can't get him and we will have to go to family court in Cali, but me and my son live in MN. He said he is going to get a paternity test today too. I am in contact with both California court and Minnesota and they both are saying he has to file for custody where the child resides.

When I went there a lawyer did draw up papers saying that he had the power of attorney while the child was with him. So he is telling me he has those papers and thats why I can't come take the child.

Also I checked into filing full custody papers and they said the recognition of parentage had to be signed in order to start the process I let the clerk no that he did not sign that so she told me it was need to file full custody. And to be frank I can't afford a attorney at this moment It'l be a week before I can get the money together for me to get to California.

How old is the child ? That's going to make a difference and also what state was the child born in ?

Is the " power of attorney " papers dated ?

How long has the father had custody ?

As far as you filing for custody you can file at same time for paternity. That way they run consecutive and the courts can order a DNA test unless he wants to sign without one.

Isabelle,
I think some of the problem here is that you are referencing your son's situation which has nothing to do with the OP's. If you want to discuss your son's situation, please start a new thread. Any further references to his situation in this thread will be removed.


Thank you so much Scott, for you response.
I saw a lot of comparing of situations and state law on this post, and on many other posts. I wasn't asking for advice but trying to help the poster, as everyone is. I didn't think that adding mine would be a problem. I saw a few mothers posting with this problem.The only difference in my situation was that it was the Father instead of the Mother.
But again, thank you for pointing that out to me.