Hi all,

My ex of 6 years broke with me in mid June. He was my first serious love. The reason why we broke up was because he said that we are two very different person. Over the 6 years we have been through so much together, he was serving the army for two years but he could come out regularly but I wait for him faithfully. And then my mum passed away in an accident while I was away with him supporting him in some tournament overseas because he wanted me to go very much. I had a very tough time in school for 6 years because it is a very demanding course and got through it with a masters. And after going through a lot of ups and downs together I really thought that we will be much closer. But the thing is we have been drifting apart.

Over the 1 year, the quarrels been very intense, as there was a girl who was interested in my ex. And very proactive in pursuing him.
1) the girl would buy expensive gifts for my ex and he would except it,
2) She asked him to be her partner to attend a wedding dinner together. My ex doesn't know the bride or groom. And he did not even ask me if it was OK for him to go and he just came to inform me that he will be going. And we already had plans to go out on that day but now it has to be cancelled because of the wedding.
3) Both of them took a picture in the club with both of his arms around her waist, I was there at the club, but I was in the toilet when they took this picture.
4) she moved house, to be in the same estate as him and they are neighbours.
5) They will go out together with a group of mutual friends, who are my friends too, but whenever I know she is going ot be there, I will be damn pissed off and would not go and rather stay at home.
6) she sent him breakfast to his house at 6 am in the morning and I found out that he text her " thanks! you are the best! =)"

And after all these, my ex told me that I was paranoid, overly sensitive and conservative.
I asked my girlfriends around and they all told me that he won't be able to accept all these actions. And with him always accept her advances, it gave her the wrong impression too.

I was badly hurt each time... and I would cry alone... and feel upset... because I have gave everything up for him and always loving him unconditionally... and when my mum was sick, I still went overseas to support him while he was in some tournament and when I was back, she was gone. I miss her tonnes :(

When he was at his lowest point of his career, I was always there for him, encouraging him and all, even when his dearest dad gave up on him, I was still there for him. He just left me saying that we are two very different person. There are times where I found out things about him and the girl but I would just keep quiet and just swallow it to avoid quarrelling.

He ever told his best friend that he knows that if one day he has nothing at all , I would still be there for him. I hear it from his best friend.

He contacted me regularly for over a month after we broke up, but one day, he called me to scold me because of that girl. Apparently my best friend left a tagline on her Facebook saying that girl is a . But my best friend did not spell out her name (s*** L** is a ), and she took it upon herself thinking that it is her. And my ex called me over my office hours and scolded me, and trying to protect her. I was so badly hurt getting over my relationship and had to put up with his scoldings and even scolded my best friends. And since then it ended ugly and did not contact each other. Its been two months.

I miss him so much :( I miss the happy times we had :( what should I do?

I am starting to hang out with a new group of friends but somehow I still feel empty like something else is missing and cannot be truly happy.

I love him. And I am always hoping for him to return and knowing his mistakes.

Its strange as we haven contacted each other for about 1 month already but he just msged me "hi..." on msn. He will be leaving the country for a world tournament. I think he wants to talk to me to give him support like how I always do. Should I reply? Or still stay on with NC? But I hope this doesn't give him any distraction because even as a friend I would want to see him do well in his compeition.

Hi.

From what I've read, this guy doesn't deserve you. He seems to be playing games with you. Accepting presents, breakfast and going out with a female friend of his, who is indeed interested in him, and then shouting at you because he feels you are acting paranoid ? Is that ? Who's more important to him, you or his "friend" ? And don't just believe what he says. Believe what his actions show you...

And also, if he has nothing at all, he KNOWS you are going to be there for him ? God ! Do you like it being this guy's safety net ? No one does...

You are hurt , I know, but you have to get over him. He's doing you no good and you deserve much better than that. You deserve a man who actually cares about you and doesn't treat you like that.

First love of 6 years ? Trust me, I've been there. With the first girlfriend I ever had (who of course was my first love and the first girl I had sex with - both were mutual), we stayed together for 5 years. When we broke up I was devastated. Felt like I wouldn't love any other girl as much as I loved her... Guess what ? I was wrong... It took me about 6 months to completely get over her (we were keeping contact throughout, that's why it took me so long), I spent 1.5 years with my next girlfriend and I still believe that our relationship was much more successful and fulfilling than the first one. I also broke up with her a couple months ago, again devastated, however this time I KNOW that my next relationship will be much better than the second one.

I remember reading somewhere that every relationship is better than the previous one. And I have come to believe this is right. Things we did wrong in the past help us get better in the future.

Stick to NC. Trust me, it WILL go away.

Stay NC.
This relationship appears to have been one-sided. I think it will be best to just move one. It will take a while, but you can get over him.

1) the girl would buy expensive gifts for my ex and he would except it,
Red flag!
2) She asked him to be her partner to attend a wedding dinner together. My ex doesn't know the bride or groom. And he did not even ask me if it was OK for him to go and he just came to inform me that he will be going. And we already had plans to go out on that day but now it has to be canceled because of the wedding.
Very red flag!!
3) Both of them took a picture in the club with both of his arms around her waist, I was there at the club, but I was in the toilet when they took this picture.
Very, very red flag!!!
4) she moved house, to be in the same estate as him and they are neighbors.
Very, very, very red flag!!!!
5) They will go out together with a group of mutual friends, who are my friends too, but whenever I know she is going to be there, I will be damn pissed off and would not go and rather stay at home.
Very, very, very,very red flag, and you should have went.
6) she sent him breakfast to his house at 6 am in the morning and I found out that he text her " thanks! you are the best! =)"
Oh gosh!!! How many red flags do we have???? This is another one.

I was so badly hurt getting over my relationship and had to put up with his scoldings and even scolded my best friends.
Now that takes a lot of gall!

You could have broken his butt over any of the above, but you chose to stay until it got to where it is now. You may be hurting now, but when you wake up, and realize you were the butt of his bad, disrespectful behavior, you will be thrilled, and overjoyed that you are free, but may be angry at yourself for staying so long.

Not to worry though!!!!! If you are patient and proactive in loving yourself, you will eventually heal the hole in your soul and move on with your life. Just give it time.

I just logged on to my Facebook and I saw many pics of my ex and the girl together. Doesn't look like they are together... but can see like they are having a lot of fun. Those pics were taken about 2 weeks ago? I wonder why did he want to talk to me yesterday when he is having so much fun!

I feel terribly upset. He was carrying her bag for her. Should I delete him off my Facebook and msn? And not have anymore contact with him? Or just still have it there so he can see how my life is improving and how well I have moved on.

I hate him!! I hate her!!

Whenever this kind of stuff happens... he puts the blame on me saying that I am CONSERVATIVE. And that he is very open minded and that we are different. I am a chinese but I don't think its about being conservative.

At one point in our relationship, I was so blinded that I actually believed that maybe somehow the problem is me... but I don't think so.

Whatever he has done is out right wrong.. am I right??

He is not worth being upset about, no girl deserves to be treated like he treated you, men always think that their right and always have something to say to try and prove their right for whatever reason, I know it must be hard but you have to try and get over it, and yes, in my opinion you should delete him off Facebook and msn so you don't have to see what he's up to.

should i delete him off my facebook and msn? and not have anymore contact with him?

Absolutely.

I agree with Tal, too many red flags for this to even be called a relationship. A definitely delete him off Facebook and msn, they will hinder any attempt of moving on because you will stalk his page and away messages. Cut off all contact and read the stickies at the top of the forum

I don't know why I just want him to feel regretful for whatever he has done to me! I hate him so much!

That's so natural as we have all had the same feelings after a break up, and yeah we all know it sucks, but you just have to let it go, and heal, so you can be happy again.

Read those stickies

And who knows maybe he will regret it... hell I can garuanty he probably will but even if he does do you think you will know? This is why no matter what your ex thinks you need to move on and work on yourself. Take it from someone who is going through the same thing, broke up with my first love 2 months back and I know what you are going through. The thinking about what you did or what you shold have done, or what they are doing now are they happy ? The answer to all these questions should be WHO CARES. That s right it s what you need to tell yourself. You will find someone better, it can take time or it can happen really soon, when that happens is up to you and how fast you move on, because no matter what you will. Have faith :).

Thanks guys for all the encouragement! Its nice to know that so many people are behind me ;) I sure hope he regrets! I was there for him every single moment of his life and I love him for who he is and not for his good looks or money.

I feel terribly hurt :( I am hoping this feeling will go away soon.

What should I do if he comes back? Or starts calling me again. Many of my friends think he will.

And a lot of his close friends came to approach me themselves to tell me that I deserve a better guy. I guess they must know what he has been up to when I am not around.

:(

I loved this guy so much... and made so many sacrifices.

That tell you a lot if his friends tell you that. You have no idea how this is similar to my story, her roommates and even her sister would tell me that they could not believe this what the hell is she doing and what is wrong with her, she doesn't see what you do for her how you treat her and what you guys have. She is now in a fling with someone else kind off and for me it was crazy but hey what can I do about it, nothing really only hope for the best and hope that she will regret (I will not try and figure out is she regrets, it is not my business and it shouldn't be yours). If he wants to talk he will know how to find you. Bottom line believe that you were the best you could have been and that what you guys had was good while it lasted. Both parties interests changed with time and as you matured, and it us unfair but you have to accept it, that is one huge step (coincidently she was also my first serious love, met mid college and was with her 3 years;) so I really understand you). If you want to talk more I am willing to listen send me a message anytime.

Its time to be selfish, and do for yourself now, and not worry about what he may do, or want him to do. Get healthy, and happy for yourself, and deal with whatever life has for you.

He is away in thailand for a world championship. And I just got a missed call from area code +66 and it rang only 4 rings.. a very short miss call.

I guess its him.. because no one else from thailand will call me.

What is he up to?

I am a little confused here... maybe you guys can give me some suggestions.

Honestly, I know he is not in a state to to compete in his event. He just called me and send me an msn message "hi...". He is in away in another country. I deleted him off my msn but I guess he can still message me.. I don't know how.

Should I reply him? Or see what he has to say? At the same time... from the bottom oh my heart, I really want the best for him. Should I give him the support or still stay on with NC?
The last time I want him to do is get distracted by our break up, as this even doesn't come every year. What should I do?

I am afraid of getting hurt as well... I have tried many ways to move on. Like switching rooms with my brother to get a new environment and packing away many of his gifts and stuff. Basically my life has changed quite a bit in this 2 months. I don really want to go back to a low and depressed state again. Its scary.

But I really hope he can compete whole heartedly without any worries.. because as a friend, I really wish he can do well.

:(

Hey guys,

I broke up with my ex of 6 years about 5 months ago. I just came back from a long 5 week holiday. During this 5 weeks my ex has been calling me just to hear the ring tone of my fone to see if I am overseas or back home. He would call me several times in a day over the whole 5 weeks. I did not pick up or rather I was quite happy that its didn't bother me.

I just got back few days ago, he still calls and I think he knows I am back in town.

WHen I was back I heard from a friend that the woman who broke us up has been speaking ill of me. Saying how possessive, sensitive,petty and always controlling my boyfriend and that's why we broke up. But if you read my previous post, this very woman was the one who came in to stir in our relationship. I feel so affected by whatever she has been telling other people about me, because I swear I gave my best in my last relationship and I put in 200% effort as a girlfriend doing watever I could for my ex and he just didn't appreciate me. I have no regrets till this very day because I did what I could.

I am terrible upset and disappointment upon hearing such comments. And I am also quite irritated that my ex still persistently calls me and its making me feel vulnerable again :(

I really thought I was over this whole episode, but I am starting to feel upset about what happened and about our failed relationship. Its strange but I do miss him still but on another hand I hate him so much for doing this to me. Btw I remained NC with him for over 2 months. And only just last night I was so angry with the woman, I texted my ex to tell her to stop talking about these false stuff about me. And it was a pretty harsh text. There was no reply.

Guys what should I do... I really thought it was over... but I feel its coming back again... it sux

You should let it go and stop worrying about what she is doing. Letting her get your goat is immature and just what she wants, so ignore her and him and go about your own business.

What makes you think you can control someone else's actions anyway?? No buts, just walk away from them.

Pick yourself up and start NC all over again. You are strong enough to do this and also strong enough to realize that it doesn't matter what others think about you, only what you think about yourself. I am really proud you made it to 2 months NC. That is awesome! I can't even go 2 weeks... good for you.

Six years is a long time. It will take a long time to get over. Concentrate on yourself for the next several months. Do things for you.

I had a diary with me and I would count the no. of days I kept to NC. I broke NC after I sent a text message to my ex telling the woman to stop talking about false stuff especially when it doesn't concern her. I regretted! Should have kept to NC all the way.

I am 25 this year... I know its silly but I am so worried that I won't find my one true love again. And I can't help but feel upset that friends around me are getting married or in long serious relationships and I am just out of one.

Will I find love again?.

I am in the same boat, one year older. We will find love again. I am not too worried about that. I need to learn to love myself first, though. Don't worry, everything happens for a reason. In the end... everything works itself out.

Just like KC said don't worry about finding that love right now. You need to concentrate on healing yourself, ignoring the immature comments, and making a new life with out your ex. That's what I'm trying to do. I know how you feel right now. Granted my relationship was not nearly as long (3 1/2 years) but the feeling of not finding my one true love does bother me. She was my first real love, and still is, but I know that I need to move on from that and heal myself. That's the hardest part.

I'm 26, all my best buds are already married with kids. So we are going through the same type of situation. Just try and stay focused on healing yourself. Go out, try and meet new friends (or catch up with old ones), have fun, and do things to keep your mind occupied.

I find that the more I do to keep myself occupied the better I feel. It's when I'm alone that I start thinking about things and get down on myself. So I make it a point to not be alone or idle for too long.

Some good music helps tremendously, just don't listen to stuff that really depressing, because that will make you think more. Listen to some good, up beat, high energy music.

It will get better. Know that it will get better and be determined to get through this part of your life. Know that when that special someone comes along (and they WILL, you have to believe that!) that your are capable of truly loving them and can form stable lasting relationships. More than likely, after sometime, you will look back on this whole thing as a learning experience that you can use in your next relationship.

Just know that there will be more relationships to come. Don't give up hope. Everything will turn out just fine after you give yourself some time! :)

Hi guys! Thanks for the replies! It did make me feel better after reading them. I think the day when I finally get over this piece of junk completely is when I find love again...

I want to be hopeful and I want to find my own happiness again. During the 2 months I know I have been moving forward and just day by day I find myself happier and during my 5 weeks vacation the daily calls that I receive from my ex doesn't bother me at all but only when I returned home, it starts getting to me and I feel down. Feels like I moved a few steps back...

You may have moved a few steps back, but you are in a position now to know you are strong enough to overcome those steps. At first, when you break up, it doesn't seem like you will EVER overcome the pain. You know it is possible and have seen the light. It is not a challenge anymore. Good luck

Its about 2am over my side, and I just can't fall asleep... and thinking so much about the past. Its been a while since I feel down again about my relationship.

Me and my ex really went through so much ups and downs together for the last 6 yrs. I just can't understand why he would do so many things to hurt me. He was my first love and I gave my all to keep this relationship going and happy. But really I feel tired because I can't clap with one hand.

I know for sure he wants his singlehood back again and he wants to be popular among the girls again. Over the months we broke up, he persistently contacted me every single day, but I refused to entertain his calls. I know he wants me to still love him or he doesn't want me to recover. And he thinks that I can't survive without him and when I go contactless and enjoying myself, he starts messing up my life all over again.

I feel so drained and tired from this. What do you do when your ex wants the best of both worlds and just won't leave you alone.

Change your phone number

My mobile number has been with me for 10 years and I like it a lot. I don't know if I am can ban his number though. I ll check it out soon.

Well even if I change my no. we have too many mutual friends who's going to give my no. away sooner or later... :(

My daughter lets unwanted calls go to voice mail and she deletes them.

Please stop with excuses. There is always a way to ignore someone.

Hey guys,

I am out of a 6 years relationship, who's also my first love. After this failure in my last relationship, I feel a little jaded about relationships.

I am just wondering is there such thing as fairy tale romance in our time in age? I still dream of having that wonderful guy will love me forever but I am not so confident anymore...

I have broken up with my boyfriend for 6 months, he been contacting me since... but I refuse to ans any of his calls, and I have totally given up on us, because he has emotionally cheated on me which I don't forsee myself being able to forgive him.

Do you guys think that true love is soooooo hard to come by these days... why?

First of all good job on not taking his calls! Leave the cheater in the DUST!

And no I don't believe in Fairy tail loves

Because in a fairy tail.. everything is easy and no one has to work at the relationship
And everything ends on a happy note..


Not in real life.

Relationships are a lot of work.. and people change daily

I do believe there are people that are right for each other. And are willing to work together.. to be there till the end.

But nothing comes easy

No, because fairy tale romances are just that - fairy tales.

That would imply you can be in a perfect relationship with a perfect person. Which is impossible.

I see couples with the perfect relationship.

I wouldn't call it a fairy tale.

Even perfect relationships are WAY HARD to come by.

Don't confuess perceptions with reality

I knew I would get that.

I know I don't see their relationships behind closed doors... but you can see/feel the love between them.

I guess they are as perfect as it gets!

Like I said, I wouldn't call them fairy tales.

You I believe there are.. until the honeymoon stage is over lol.. just kidding but I believe it is possible to find a guy that will love you forever no matter what, but there hard to find :(

NO! I work hard, and so does my wife! We love it!

No, but I believe in fairy tale moments.
For example when you first kiss someone and everything just fell together so perfectly, and you get those butterflies when you see them. But as far as an entire relationship, I don't believe so.