OK when me and my husband have sex its very hard for him to get in. he says my vagina is too tight and sometimes it hurts him to stay in me. And on top of it I've already had a child so I don't understand why I would be tight. What's wrong? Why am I so tight down there?

Cause you're lucky. Did you have stitches after childbirth? Have you tried using lube during intercourse?

Yeah she tore me inside and I had to have stitches. Yeah and that doesn't really work either

Do you think they could have stitched a little too much? Was this an issue before she was born?

Well I wasn't with my husband then. And there wasn't an issue with my daughters dad after I had her but he was rather small

Perhaps he is just too big. That happens. I would suggest lots and lots of lube. Perhaps try different brands.

Nah he is about normal

I mean too big for you... Has this been an issue your entire marriage? Or is this new?

This is new it wasn't an issue that long ago

Foreplay?

this is new it wasnt an issue that long ago

Are you under more stress lately? You could be squeezing muscles without realizing it... I think foreplay is a great idea. It will relax you, get you in the mood... Throw your inhibitions in the wind, be free, have fun.

Actually that makes it worse and I get tighter lol what's wrong with me

Is there something that you are uncomfortable with sex lately? Is he wanting to do something you don't? Have you gained or lost weight? Has he?

No not really. We have had a good relationship

Have you guys been trying to get pregnant again?

Yes we are trying right now to get pregnant. But it started before we were trying

But you probably knew before you suggested trying that you wanted another little rascal!:p It could be that you are stressed about not being able to conceive right away [read some other posts of yours], or you are focusing too hard on getting pregnant rather than enjoying the intimacy between you and your husband.

I would suggest lubes, oils, new positions... all that good stuff... Focus on making love to your husband, not on getting pregnant.

It's normal for the vagina to get tighter with arousal-- because the labia etc become engorged. I think maybe it's him, not the OP. Could he be having trouble getting in because he's not completely erect but doesn't want to acknowledge it? Just a thought. Having it hurt him does not sound normal either. The pressure of having to actually make a baby could easily affect his ability to stay hard, which would make it harder to get in and stay in, and possibly lead to discomfort for him, and then anxiety, which leads to you know what.

Hmm maybe

Just read that you are trying to get pregnant... were you ever on birth control? If so, when did you come off it?

I had an iud and I got it taken out in June

Ah, OK.

A relatively common side effect of coming off because is tightness...

If you were currently on mirena or any type of iud that secretes a hormone (mirena secretes progesterone) then your body will take time to adjust its hormone levels, and may make sexual arousal (in your case, dilation) harder.

Hmmm you are a smart one thanks

Why do you say that, I Sneeze? Tightness is not listed as a known side effect of Mirena, and drug because pretty much list everything anyone has ever reported as far as I know. Mirena Official FDA information, side effects and uses. (http://www.drugs.com/pro/mirena.html)


Adverse Reactions
The most serious adverse reactions associated with the use of Mirena are discussed above in the WARNINGS and PRECAUTIONS sections. Very common adverse reactions (>1/10) include uterine/vaginal bleeding (including spotting, irregular bleeding, heavy bleeding, oligomenorrhea and amenorrhea) and ovarian cysts. Other adverse events are listed below using MedDRA (9.0) terms. Adverse reactions reported by 5% or more subjects include:
Abdominal/pelvic pain
Vaginal discharge
Nausea
Headache
Nervousness
Vulvovaginitis
Dysmenorrhea
Back pain
Weight increase
Breast pain/tenderness
Acne
Decreased libido
Depressed mood
Cervicitis/Papanicolaou smear normal, class II
Hypertension

Other relevant reported adverse reactions occurring in less than 5% of subjects include:
Migraine
Vomiting
Anemia
Dyspareunia
Alopecia
Eczema
Pruritis
Rash
Urticaria
Abdominal distension
Altered mood
Hirsutism
Edema

Why do you say that, I Sneeze? Tightness is not listed as a known side effect of Mirena, and drug cos pretty much list everything anyone has ever reported as far as I know. Mirena Official FDA information, side effects and uses. (http://www.drugs.com/pro/mirena.html)
Not even after you get off birthcontrol

Why do you say that, I Sneeze? Tightness is not listed as a known side effect of Mirena, and drug cos pretty much list everything anyone has ever reported as far as I know. Mirena Official FDA information, side effects and uses. (http://www.drugs.com/pro/mirena.html)

Actually if you look on the list you will see dyspareunia. This includes painful incourse, endometrosis, amongst other conditions. Here is a great link for this: Pelvic Pain and The Uterus - Symptoms, Causes and Treatment Options (http://www.dyspareunia.org/)

Man I just don't know now

Click on the link I provided, read symptoms and such. Have you discussed this issue with your doctor?

Not really I got to the dr on the 22nd

Make sure to discuss this with your doctor.

Of course

Keep us updated!

But Angel doesn't have painful intercourse. Her husband does. (And he didn't use the iud/bc :)). I'm not trying to be flip. But this just doesn't add up for me. Vaginismus sounds possible, and there are websites devoted to that, but it also seems possible that he's having problems, especially as he's the one experiencing pain. Angel can check discretely next time they try to see how hard he is. If that's not the problem, it'll be easy to tell.

I say this because I've seen patients walking into clinics that have just come off the pill (in my case, it's usually the pill) and have been complaining about tightness. It's a wee bit of a stretch, but it's the best I can come up with.

Are you storing anything up in your vagina?? Like your wallet, or a can of green beans?


Anyway, sounds like your boyfriend is messing with your mind. :)

Have a good week,

Hi Angel,

I seem to recall reading something about this, actually I think it was in my Doctors surgery in one of there mags... problem page, anyway this couple had the same problem,and it turn out to be muscle spasms making the vagina totally tighten up, the patient was given meds to help her relax, the trouble being the more she worried the tighter it became.

I would go and see your GP see if there is something that can be done to help, you may get referred to a Gynecologist.

Hope you sort it out soon.

Speaking from a guy point of view. I don't think it's possible for it to be so tight that it hurts, if there is nothing wrong with the guy. I know it possible to squeeze as hard as you want with your hands and it's still not painful. I would think if it's any tighter than that and he would have entry problems more than anything else.

It is harder than hell for him to get in it takes him a good few minutes to get in.

I'm assuming you've tried a variety of positions and it's the same no matter what?

Well I agree with michealb its impossible to be too tight it hurts , isn't it the tighter the better?

To a certain extent.

And I didn't just say it was only painful for him its also painful for me as well

and i didnt just say it was only painful for him its also painful for me as well

Is the pain like the first time you had sex hymen? Well if its really painful you can probably talk to your doctor and have a surgery. I am sure today technology can help you satisfy your needs.

Good Luck!

Talk to the doctor... ok... pick up a scalpel, swtxp?. uh... lets back off that perhaps? Are you kidding me?

As already mentioned, engorgement with blood causes the outer third of the vagina to tighten... creating a "vaginal cuff"... to apply pressure and friction to the penis, while the rest of the vagina "tents" or "balloons" to accommodate the penis.

You stated foreplay makes it worse. Does this mean with little foreplay, and perhaps lubricant, he can penetrate you easier, but it gets worse in time?

Do you feel pain first (like irritation or burning) or does he? Any history of infection? Do you have real privacy for sex (you mentioned a child)?

Can he perform oral on you to orgasm, then intercourse after a few minutes?

Trying other positions, unfortunately might be the other option. I know the facial is usually cool, but going from behind should produce more room. All the best. Consider yourself lucky it feels tight though, many prefer that option.

Do you think you are stessed and uptight more since giving birth? Maybe your finding it hard to relax and enjoy the moment. Some mothers find it hard having sexual interaction for a long time after having given birth. Try having more foreplay and not concentrating on the penetration side of things

I'm not sure what's wrong

Any answers to these?


you stated foreplay makes it worse. does this mean with little foreplay, and perhaps lubricant, he can penetrate you easier, but it gets worse in time?

do you feel pain first (like irritation or burning) or does he? any history of infection? do you have real privacy for sex (you mentioned a child)?

can he perform oral on you to orgasm, then intercourse after a few minutes?

It sounds like that unless your husband's penis is unusually girthy that you have lubrication problems. A dry vagina is uncomfortable for any sized penis.

any answers to these?
Well I did have bacterial vaginosis not to long ago. It sometimes feels like I'm burning when I have sex with him. I know its not an STD or anything like that because we were just tested. And its only sometimes. I don't understand

It sounds like that unless your husband's penis is unusually girthy that you have lubrication problems. A dry vagina is uncomfortable for any sized penis.

If you read her actual post she said that this is just a recent issue. So by your reasoning, wouldn't it have been the case their whole marriage and/or courtship?

I'm not trying to pester you with questions... just working through some lines of thought.

Still don't know if he can bring you to orgasm with oral first, then intercourse after a brief wait... much of the tightening should relax, you'll be as lubricated as you're going to get (tho some might still need lubricant here, as production of vaginal lubrication has stopped by this point), and you both can perhaps reach orgasm. Tension about performance can compound the problem. A "win" or two might ease it up.

Burning can possibly indicate general irritation. Have you had any issues with dryness? I know you said lubricant didn't help, but that's not my take. If a woman is dry, efforts should be made to minimize whatever is aggrivating her first, before "covering up" the problem with lubricant.

So... some things that can reduce irritation are hygiene issues... douching or excessive use of soap, body wash, other cleaning agents can actually cause irritation... drop bubble baths and hot tubs for a time... make sure you are using unscented fem hygiene products and if you are using tampons perhaps switch to pads for a time.

You are off birth control now and trying to conceive so that rules out latex issues. Sensitivity to things like detergents can come out of nowhere. My wife developed an allergy to wool one winter out of the blue. Shed been under stress and suddenly wool would so irritate her that she had to dump half her wardrobe of great wool jackets, coats, and suits. So just because you've not had problems with soaps, detergents, fem hygiene products doesn't mean you aren't now.

Also... you might have your estrogen level checked. This can clearly tie into dryness and irritation... and irriation can then cause inflammation.

You said this happens sometimes, not always. Does it tend to happen just before your period?

Yes I can get an orgasm when we play and then we can have sex but it still hurts.
Maybe I am using too much soap. I do like to make sure I'm clean down there. I never really paid much attention to when it was happening. I think last month it was at the beginning of the month and now I'm having it again. And my periods are at the end of the month

Angel, something that hasn't been mentioned yet is PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease). PID is often a result of the IUD. Perhaps you should bring that up to your Gyno or maybe get a second opinion.
Another thing you can do yourself is to test the pH of your vaginal fluid. If it is greater than 4.5 then your balance is too alkaline which can result in bacterial imbalance and reoccurring bouts of the BV or yeast infections.
All of these can result in swelling, soreness, inflammation and pain.
Another doctor's opinion may be worth the effort and expense.

Angel, something that hasn't been mentioned yet is PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease). PID is often a result of the IUD. Perhaps you should bring that up to your Gyno or maybe get a second opinion.
Another thing you can do yourself is to test the pH of your vaginal fluid. If it is greater than 4.5 then your balance is too alkaline which can result in bacterial imbalance and reoccurring bouts of the BV or yeast infections.
All of these can result in swelling, soreness, inflammation and pain.
Another doctor's opinion may be worth the effort and expense.
That makes sense thanks

A lot of good info here. I wonder if the best solution might be to now bring this info and a discussion to your OBGYN?

As we know, a woman normally loosens and lubricates as she gets aroused - and assuming you are really aroused (yes? ) -
It might be more of a technical/medical issue that might be simple.

I mean it could be just hormones post-baby or you are allergic to something or ph is off.
But this should be sorted out by a doc pretty quick now I'd hope :-)

Relevant medical information


Well, I'm not going to say these steps can fix everything, but hormone imbalance (and irregularity like you might be experiencing off your birth control) can cause this issue. Then, tie in other factors that contribute to irritability, such as soaps, detergents, hygiene products... these might not have made much of a different before that was noticeable, but its now amplified.

The fact you had vaginosis sets you up for irritation. The fact you just stopped your birth contol supports this line of thinking. The timing of this problem could be compounded right before a period, but doesn't necessarily need to be tied to that time.

And yes... anxiety or other tension (such as believing it might happen can be a self fulfilling prophecy) can tie into it.



To angel - well, I'm about at the end of what I can tell you. You just came of birth control and you've just had a about of vaginosis. Limit the things that can cause irritation (like I mentioned, excessive washing, try pads, wear cotton underwear, change out of wet clothes asap, etc), keep track of where it falls in your cycle just to see if its connected. Even keep track of your diet to some degree, noting if certain foods are consumed on the days when its an issue. Not saying you are... but women going through menopause (with hormone swings) can experience this... and your body can be experiencing some of the same issues coming off birth control.

Unfortunately, this isn't a one symptom, one answer problem. So it might take time, as you are still possibly irregular, recently off birth control...

If you were my wife id first look at all the things I mentioned above. Also I would to your doctor... if your doctor isn't particularly helpful, ask for a referral to a specialist. It still might be a waiting game, but that doesn't mean you don't need a plan or to try some things. Inquire about hormone levels (though I don't know the reliability of this so soon after birth control) being checked. Step through some things and give it some time.

Guess I'll step in now, I am an OB/GYN registered nurse after all.

I have to agree with everything that KP has said.

BV can cause swelling of the vaginal canal, as well as hormonal changes caused by discontinuing the birth control.

KP, my dear you are right on track as usual.

ok when me and my husband have sex its very hard for him to get in. he says my vagina is too tight and sometimes it hurts him to stay in me. and on top of it ive already had a child so i dont understand why i would be tight. whats wrong? why am i so tight down there?
If this is a new problem for you with the same man then I would look to see what is different. My son had an issue with this. His testosterone was checked to be low. He is into working out and building muscle and so guess where he decided to put the cream to see if it would make him bigger. You got it. Well, the problem was two fold. First, it made her shrink inside and also started to give her other problems (wild hair growing where it had not before).

It took a doctor to figure out what was going on when they checked her blood and urine. They could not figure out why she had elevated testosterone. Lucky for her the husband decided to come clean. There are a lot of supplements that help promote the building of testosterone also. Check and see if your husband is taking any of these and make sure that you are not taking a supplement that could be doing this to you..

The doctor told my son to change their sexual position until everything got back to normal. She was to get on top or he was to position himself behind her. It took about two months for everything to go back to normal. The problem that I do not understand is where your husband is complaining about pain. This does not sound normal at all as I cannot imagine being tight enough that it could cause pain. Extreme pleasure comes to mind but not pain.

Is it weird that when I pee it smells like the cereal that I ate this morning??

??

is it weird that when i pee it smells like the cereal that i ate this morning???

THAT is pretty normal. :)

I'm wondering if both you and your husband should get checked out. I completely agree with KP and J9, as well. But, as a couple of people have commented, just as it's not normal for you to hurt, it's not normal for him to be hurting unless you are extremely dry (can't remember what you said about dryness).

I have no physiological reason to believe the smell of your urine has anything to do with the problems you have experienced.

Ill be happy to think otherwise if someone comes up with a primary medical journal article.

No such thing as too tight tell yer man to quit complaining,

Sorry that was rude, just an opinion have a problem with the brain to mouth filter is all

Well I don't have to worry about having sex with him anymore so we can disregard this question now

Maybe some sex toys might help...

Please quit with the suggestions I don't need them anymore. We are getting a divorce!!

This thread has been closed. Period.

Angel I am sorry you have had to go through this, and, as such, I have closed your thread so that you get no more "helpful" responses.