I am a 16 year old girl, soon to be 17. The guy that I like says that he won't date me because it is illegal, because he just turned 19. Is it?
Do you think it is just an excuse, a way to let me down easy?
??

(I live in cali if that means anything)

It all depends on where you live. The laws are different in different parts of the world.

Where you both live?

where you both live?
Californa

He is correct. The age of consent, for sex anyway, in California is 18. You are only 16 at this point.

Hanging out is a different story, but anything past a kiss could get him in trouble.

A table of worldwide ages of consent, including US states (http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm)

He is correct. The age of consent, for sex anyway, in California is 18. You are only 16 at this point.

Hanging out is a different story, but anything past a kiss could get him in trouble.

A table of worldwide ages of consent, including US states (http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm)

Huhhh that sucks.. I really like him and don't want to have sex with him anyway but I do want to be with him and have a relationship however he says that he won't due to the age thing. So should I just leave it alone and try to get over him. That's so much easier said then done. When we talk again about it what should I say. I really don't want to be dramatic about it at all. But I'm hurt that he won't but I totally understand his point of view too
Huhh why can't it be simple like in the movies. Blehhh

Just to prevent himself from trouble because sex is always part of dating most of a time, that's why he said that. It its alibi we don't know.

Like I said, it's not illegal to date, however, just to even kiss could cause him trouble if someone were to turn him in. Apparently, it seems like he may be considering sex and feels that this is not a path he wants to go down at your age. Kudos to him!!

Life is not like the movies. None of it, I can promise you that. I've experienced 44 years on this earth and have never experienced the movies.

Like I said, it's not illegal to date, however, just to even kiss could cause him trouble if someone were to turn him in. Apparently, it seems like he may be considering sex and feels that this is not a path he wants to go down at your age. Kudos to him!!!

Life is not like the movies. None of it, I can promise you that. I've experienced 44 years on this earth and have never experienced the movies.

so should I just get over him. Wait till I'm 18. See if we still fit together. Huhhh
well thank you so much. I will just take it day by day and moment by moment
=]
all I can do really
thanks again

Be friends for now... friends that don't engage in sexual activities... u know?

He can date you, but he cannot have sex with you (unless you are married). In California, having sex with someone under 18 is statutory rape. If he is 2 years older than you it's a misdemeanor. If he is 3 years older, it is a felony, a more serious crime.

California - Age of Consent (http://www.ageofconsent.com/california.htm)


261.5. (a) Unlawful sexual intercourse is an act of sexual
Intercourse accomplished with a person who is not the spouse of the
Perpetrator, if the person is a minor.
For the purposes of this section, a "minor" is a person
Under the age of 18 years and an "adult" is a person
Who is at least 18 years of age.

.. . (c) Any person who engages in an act of unlawful sexual
Intercourse with a minor who is more than three years younger than
The perpetrator is guilty of either a misdemeanor or a felony, and
Shall be punished by imprisonment in a county jail not exceeding one
Year, or by imprisonment in the state prison.
.. .

.. . A) An adult who engages in an act of unlawful sexual intercourse
With a minor less than two years younger than the adult is liable for
A civil penalty not to exceed two thousand dollars ($2,000).
(B) An adult who engages in an act of unlawful sexual intercourse
With a minor at least two years younger than the adult is liable for
A civil penalty not to exceed five thousand dollars ($5,000).
(C) An adult who engages in an act of unlawful sexual intercourse
With a minor at least three years younger than the adult is liable
For a civil penalty not to exceed ten thousand dollars ($10,000).
(D) An adult over the age of 21 years who engages in an act of
Unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor under 16 years of age is
Liable for a civil penalty not to exceed twenty-five thousand dollars
($25,000).

At best, he thinks the age difference is too much. At worst, he's only interested in you if he can sleep with you. Either way, he's clearly signaled that he's not interested in dating.

I know it's easier said than done. But you two are really in different stages in life... while you are most likely in high school, he is most likely preparing for college.

He has told you that he won't date you due to your age, respect that and move on.