I was just dumped 5 days ago over text message. This girl was living with me and things seemed to be going fine. Our relationship did move fast, but it felt so right. We were in a relationship for 4 months. After a month she was saying that she loved me. After a month and a half she gradually moved into my apartment. After 2 months she is asking if we should find our own apartment. All of her ideas.

I was/am madly in love with her, even though she put me through emotional hell, even during the relationship. I found out that she had sex with two of my good friends before we started dating, one of which was my roommate. She said nothing happened, but then she got drunk one night and told me they had sex. My roommate informed me that it was a week before her and I started dating. So jealousy and distrust set in. We worked through it and then she had to go to a camp to be a counselor for 2 months. While she was gone she would call and text all the time telling me how much she missed me and loved me. She ended up coming home after a month because she couldn't cut it there. Things seemed to pick up right where they left off when she left. She told me she loved me, wanted marriage and children with me. Then about a week or two ago she started becoming distant. I would ask her if everything was all right, and she would blame it on the BC (birth control). Then out of the blue she started staying at her parents' house. So, I thought she needed some distance, so I gave it. Then after not seeing her for a couple days she texts me and says she's moving out and that we shouldn't get a place together. We talk about it when she comes over and she says we are still in a relationship and that she just needs distance. We move her stuff out and kiss goodbye. A half an hour later she texts me that she misses me. I didn't respond back because I was extremely confused at what just took place.

The next day I go to see her at her place for about an hour because she was leaving for a trip the next day. We seem fine, and she kisses me goodbye and hugs me tightly. While she is gone she barely contacts me. Then I get a text saying we are over and that she needs something else. I call her and she is drunk in her hotel room. She is telling me that I am boring, blank, and immature. Which is weird because she was the one that was always standoffish and never wanted to go out and do stuff. She also says that she has been seeing this guy and that he is cooler than I am. I honestly just met this guy around the same time she started becoming distant. We even worked together the weekend she was seeing him. She hangs up on me and the next day is texting and calling to apologize for dumping me so harshly. I give it a day and then we talked and I play it off like it's no big deal and that it just wasn't meant to be obviously. I also told her that I can now see what kind of person she truly is.

This is my first real relationship, and the first girl I ever loved. I'm so lost right now, and I feel so manipulated. I have sheltered myself from relationships like this, because I was afraid of this happening. I took a chance and got smashed.

I have been going out every night with friends and trying to have a good time, just to show her that I'm moving on, but I can't. It's so tough. Sorry this is so long, but this is the first time I have been able to rant to an unbiased party. Any advice would help! Thanks!

She is picking up the rest of her stuff later today. We haven't spoke since Sunday. Also, I hung out with the guy she has been seeing a couple nights ago and was very cordial to him. She was texting him all night while I was sitting there. Why am I doing this to myself?

Also, she has HPV, and I'm pretty sure I'm a carrier now.

It was so fast,
She told you she loves you but she had sex with your friend,
You since became distrustful,
She cheated,
She passed HPV to you,
She manipulates you

She doesn't love you AT ALL. Love is an action word and it shouldn't hurt. The truth is... she has been cheating ever since and you were just her fallback boyfriend when things doenst work out for her sidelines the worse is, you tolerate it thinking all your love may make her stick with you. . Just think all these things she did to you.. . Nobody understands here what did you like in her.

Be grateful she dumped you. At least you'll start new and please don't be so gullible for that piece of sex crazed mat. You can choose better.

I agree she doesn't love you at all. Its hard to let her go because she is your first love. Then to top it all of you had finally let your guard down. Don't cheat yourself out of real happiness, leave her alone and don't look back. Your going to be hurt over the whole situation, you loved her! I think that you should continue to go out with your friends, if and only if they are uppers not downers. And move on with your life. You will find somebody who loves you the way that you deserve to be loved. Take this as a lesson learned.

Sorry your first relationship was such a disaster, get checked for all or any STD's and reflect on this life lesson. Seems you have many lessons here and the first is not have unprotected sex. Maybe this time you can say you didn't know better, but be aware that excuse is gone, and you will be more cautious, and use a lot more time to find out about these strangers before doing the love routine.

"To much, to fast, crash and burn!"

It's completely up and down, up and down.

Well, she stopped by to pick up the rest of her stuff on Tuesday. I put a smile on my face and acted like the breakup didn't bother me. She packed up the rest of her stuff and I talked to her like nothing was wrong. She even gave me a gift that she got on her business trip, which I accepted, but threw away. She was weighed down with bags and I offered to help her down with the stuff because I was leaving to go on a DATE (I didn't tell her this is where I was going). She refused my help, so I followed her down. She was struggling, so I jokingly said, "well, I can tell you have been lifting weights." She asked me why I was being such an a**hole. I laughed because I thought she was kidding. I realized she was trying to justify this, so I grabbed her bag, took it to her trunk and said bye. She stopped me to ask if I was still taking a college course that she was also taking. I said yes, and I said, "I guess I'll see you then." I obviously got to her, because right when she got back to her place she put a new photo up on Facebook of her and her new boy toy. I laughed, but it hurt to see that she is moving on that fast. I know they are mind games, and they shouldn't bother me, but it just hurts!

The girl I went on a date with has been a friend of mine for a while, but I know that she has a thing for me. We had fun, but I feel like I was using her as a rebound. She kissed me at the end of the night, but I didn't feel anything. I'm broken.

Now, my ex is just doing little things that are getting to me. She is writing every guy that she knows on Facebook. She had an update that said that she is "royally sad", but she deleted it and put up one that now says, (Her name) + you = love. I don't know who "YOU" is? Me, or one of the many guys she could be seeing now? She hasn't contacted me, and I haven't contacted her, but I want her to contact me, just so I can feel like I meant something to her! Then today, I see that my ex-roommate (her ex-lover and now my ex-friend), wrote her asking her to go to a concert with him. She responded with an enthusiastic "yes". UGH! I am an extremely jealous man!

I am going to be having a class with her in a week! I need to either be over her or at least look like I'm over her, because she is moving on without even looking back. My hand is starting to itch for the phone! Why is it so tough?

How can "love" be there one minute and then gone the next?

[QUOTE=ylaira]It was so fast,
She told you she loves you but she had sex with your friend,
You since became distrustful,
She cheated,
She passed HPV to you,
She manipulates you[QUOTE=ylaira] She doesn't love, but the sex was before you dated her

She put up more pics!
A different guy than before! WHY? Why is she doing this? I'm a nice, sincere guy! I did nothing but support her and help her through tough times, and now she's sexing every guy out there and letting me know about it!! WHY!! I can't take it anymore! I'm losing myself.

I feel so used and sick! I can't think of anything else! I need help, before I go insane!
I'm trying to let go, but it hurts. It was so abrupt! I have taken advice on here to let her go and not to contact her, but I feel like I need to talk to her! Why does love have to do this?

She put up more pics!
A different guy than before! WHY? Why is she doing this? I'm a nice, sincere guy! I did nothing but support her and help her through tough times, and now she's sexing every guy out there and letting me know about it!!! WHY!?!? I can't take it anymore! I'm losing myself.

I feel so used and sick! I can't think of anything else! I need help, before I go insane!
I'm trying to let go, but it hurts. It was so abrupt! I have taken advice on here to let her go and not to contact her, but I feel like I need to talk to her! Why does love have to do this?

Love shouldn't hurt. She doesn't love and respect you that's why she's doing that she's doing. The more you show you're miserable, the more she loves the entire act. What's the matter with you? With all these crap she made, you should rejoice she's gone out of your life and messing herself out with the whole town.

She doesn't deserve you and stop looking at her page!

It sucks, I know. Just continue to move on as best you can. If for some reason she wants to talk to you during your class, don't bring up the pictures of her and other guys. This will just prove to her that you still think about her, and the attention is what she wants the most, not your love.

Dear Full,

First you were not "dumped" you were freed from this very unhealthy situtation. I am sorry about your ex girlfriends health problems, I truly am, but I think she has many more issues that she needs to work through, that have nothing to do with you. Her life is a spirial and you don't want to be caught in it.

No more FACEBOOK! Stop torturing yourself.

You have done so many things to try and get a reaction out of her - that has to change. You will never get the response you truly want from her, as it sounds like she has too much going on within her, to be in a healthy loving relationship with anyone.

Get to the doctors and make sure you are okay physically - and I truly hope you are. Then work on healing you and your emotions. Dating someone to get to her or forget her,
Is not something that will ultimately help you. If you feel hurt and upset, that's very normal, work through it and each day, put her one more day behind you and only let the days in front of you, be for you and what is best for you.

I am so sorry for all that you have been through, but with some self love, and taking better care of you, it will get so much better.

It just gets to me, knowing that these other guys are getting to hold her and feel her the way I got to, but she doesn't care about this! I feel like she can be so much more, but she is throwing herself out there. The images of her with other men in my head just make me nauseous. I can't sleep, and this is interfering with my day to day life.

I need something soon, or I have a feeling I'm going to do something I will regret. I hate trying to find answers, but I need help. I can't stop looking at her page! IT'S LIKE AN ADDICTION!

Full this is all apart of healing. So don't be so hard on yourself. Do you actually want a girl, who is in so many other guy's arms. Don't you want better for yourself?

She sounds completely lost - but you are not the one who can show her the way. She has to. Do not let all of her confusion, become yours, and have it destroy your daily life.

Believe me, I do understand how hard and difficult it is. But the only thing you can change is how you react, how you handle this situation, You can not change her.

If you must look at FACEBOOK, decrease the number of times that you look at it. Every day, look one time less.

What would you tell your best friend, how to handle a girl like this? Would you want him suffering. Would you want him looking at Facebook? Or would you want him to remove himself so far away from this unhealthy girls behaviour.

You have got to want better for yourself and not give in to the obsession, or thoughts about her.

You are imagining she is with these other guys, maybe she is, maybe she is not, but it changes your life in no way at all, except for the fact that you are allowing it to effect you in ways that is hurtful to you.

Feel the pain, feel the hurt, lessen the FACEBOOK time, and then, find that strength that you do have, and YOU walk away from her. It's too unhealthy for you and those that care about you, would want so much better for you.

I am just having trouble understanding how somebody can be living with somebody and showering them with "I love you's" and "You complete my entire being", and then within a couple weeks be off with other men! Especially with no warning! I think I would be doing better if it wasn't so sudden. I let my guard down and took a chance on her, and I get a dagger, right through the heart!

I know I was a little preoccupied with other things, but I was planning on turning things around once that passed, but she couldn't wait I guess. She needed to find more, and she did. I wish she would have talked to me. Or not have toyed with my emotions, especially after I told her that this is my first real relationship. It just sucks feeling like you know somebody, and start making changes in your life to accommodate the future with her, and then she takes off with other men! I was planning on finding a place with her and moving in with her. I lost my roommate and my apartment because of her. I have to be out of there in a week, and I don't have anywhere else to go at the moment.

She is effecting my life without even being present! It just sucks knowing everything that she has wrecked. My health, my living standards, friendships, family, my soul. And she leaves. Nothing else. When she was having problems with all of those things, I was there with open arms. Helping. Not running for the door! Why!? It just sucks! I have to rebuild, while she was building new foundations while still stringing me along. She left me with rubble, while she is jumping from house to house.

She is effecting my life without even being present! It just sucks knowing everything that she has wrecked. My health, my living standards, friendships, family, my soul. And she leaves. Nothing else. When she was having problems with all of those things, I was there with open arms. Helping. Not running for the door! Why!?! It just sucks! I have to rebuild, while she was building new foundations while still stringing me along. She left me with rubble, while she is jumping from house to house.

I completely understand - but YOU are allowing the damage she caused to continue. In life Full, you are going to come across some wonderful caring people, and then sadly, you will also come across people, who for whatever reason, will hurt your heart without a blink.
The only thing we can do when this happens, is repair the damage. That's the only thing we have in our control, to actually do.

How about writing a letter to her BUT DON'T SEND IT. Write all your thoughts down, your hurts, everything that you are feeling, get it out of you, BUT DON'T SEND IT. You have got to cleanse yourself of all those negative feelings and hurts.

You can do this.

Full - honestly THANK YOU for sharing all that you have. You may not realize this, but with you sharing all that you are going through is helping so many others who find themselves in a similar situation.

We all have been there - and some are still there - So you truly are never ever alone.
When you take a walk, and see all the different people, different faces, realize, that there was a day, I can guarantee you, that they had their heart broke, they felt pain, and betrayel, and yet, there they are, walking and finally able to go about their lives... and actually find enjoyment in the day.

By you sharing something so personal, and so openly, is helping you inch closer to feeling better, and many others as well.

Hope you know we are always here!

Just stop looking at her Facebook. You just torture yourself. I did exactly the same. Don't rush into anything either with anyone else.

The best thing I can recommend is to keep busy, don't contact her and whenever you need to rant, come on here.

I made all the mistakes before getting my act together. 3 months on, I regret it so much and still miss her, but I just decided that she's not worth it. If she can use you like that then she's an idiot.

I honestly believe my ex forced herself to move on because I kept hurting her through inexperience. Whether she really does love her new man or not, I don't know. It was definiately a rebound in the beginning anyway.

Best thing I did was join a dating website. Concentrate on finding someone better.

The new girl I'm seeing is so much more secure in herself and it was surprising how easy it is to not offend her. I still think my ex was better marriage material so I'm looking for someone halfway in between.

Full,

Check out this article titled "When Your Ex Moves On":

Ex girl - AskMen.com (http://au.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_60/88_dating_advice.html)

It puts everything in perspective. It helped me out, whenever I find myself thinking about my ex I re-read the article and I feel a lot better!

If you want to talk to her, then do it. It might make you feel better to ask "why she did this" but on the other hand, it might make you feel worse if she isn't sensitive. And to define what "kind of girl would do this", the answer is a hoe. For god sakes she screwed your buddy right before you!

Get a better girl.

This was a very bad relationship from the beginning. You barley knew each other and then you're living together.
Go to the doctor, get yourself checked.
You had many indications about the kind of girl she is and you chose to ignore them, now you really see, so learn from them and don't jump in deep so fast with the next girl that comes along. Do not ignore red flags and practice safe sex from now on.

I had some bad dreams last night of her and I. We were so happy together. I then woke up with only 2 1/2 hours of sleep. I couldn't go back to sleep, because all I can think of is her. Why must our minds play such wicked games with us? I have work to do today, but I keep coming back to this. I know this is wrong, but I wish I could just know that I am still crossing her mind. I wish she could just show some compassion.

I know that getting back together with her is out of the question, but I wish she could experience the pain that I am. That sounds horrible coming out of my mouth, but it just isn't fair! Why must people like this exist? What does she get out of being a whore? I feel like such a fool, and I feel so dirty.

UGH! Here's to another Up and Down Day.

Full -

Redirect your thinking. You keep thinking of what it is like not having her in your life.
But guess what? She does not have YOU, and from all of your post, and the insight into who you are, that is a huge loss for HER not you.

She is going through some serious growing pains, and you don't see it now, but you are being spared additional misery of cutting the ties now, then further down the line, where the cuts could be deeper, with scars that may never heal.

SHE DOES NOT HAVE YOU! With all your great qualities... SHE NO LONGER HAS THEM.

Remember that!

I know that getting back together with her is out of the question, but I wish she could experience the pain that I am. That sounds horrible coming out of my mouth, but it just isn't fair! Why must people like this exist? What does she get out of being a whore? I feel like such a fool, and I feel so dirty.

UGH! Here's to another Up and Down Day.

Stop dwelling on her actions. I am not familiar with "facebook" but what may help is to stop going to her page and reading what she is doing. She knows that you are and so she is playing all these games with you. Why she is hurting you? There are so many Psychological reasonings to support it but the fact is she is just plain trying to hurt you.

It is a game and it is destructive. She is not only casting a bad light on herself as being the "whore" and it is obvious that these guys know it and she is easy to date. She is never going to have a healthy relationship as she did with you while she is playing the role of a "whore."

A suggestion for you is to not go to her facebook page. If you have to just delete yourself completely off it until you are stronger or if there is an "about me" section on it put up a huge display about how you are moving on and loving your life. She'll get the hint that she was unworthy of your love.

You seem to be handling things rather well and doing the right things. Trust yourself and know that you deserve better then this. No one deserves to be treated this way and it sucks that it is your first relationship. But this doesn't mean that all your relationships are going to be this way and as a learning experience you'll be more cautious with your relationships from this point on and not give your heart so freely until you know that the other person can be trusted. You will probably have trust issues that you will need to work through so you are not unfairly un-trusting a girl in a new relationship who is completely trust worthy. This is what happens when you dwell on the past and create this fear in every relationship with someone new. Deal with that now so it doesn't arise within you later.

Stop obsessing yourself with her and what she did to you. You need to date other women and it will feel like you are rebounding at first but you may need this to fully move on. I suggest dating more then one girl so you are not putting someone else in a position of getting hurt by you. If you casually date and do not get to involved you will see very soon that you are moving on, you'll feel more confident about yourself and there are other girls that will treat you so much better

Why are you torturing yourself??

This doesn't really help. If you're going for tough love, then good try, but it's not helping. I'm trying to cope with this. All of us aren't put together the same way.
I asked a question, if you can't answer it, you'll never see the point. You want to learn how to cope, it starts with facing the truth. Obviously your not seeing your part in this or you would be coping.

So why are you torturing yourself??

I asked a question, if you can't answer it, you'll never see the point. You want to learn how to cope, it starts with facing the truth. Obviously your not seeing your part in this or you would be coping.

So why are you torturing yourself??????

I believe what we are all trying to tell you is that obsessing over someone is not coping. It is actually keeping you a slave and all the negative things you are experiencing right now will continue. Talaniman is asking you why you are torturing yourself over this? You are in denial which is normal but you have to accept things just as it is. (facing the truth- she broke up with you). Surrender to it even though it doesn't feel very good to do so. Beginning stages of coping is accepting.

One week with NC!

I was just dumped 5 days ago over text message. This girl was living with me and things seemed to be going fine. Our relationship did move fast, but it felt so right. We were in a relationship for 4 months. After a month she was saying that she loved me. After a month and a half she gradually moved into my apartment. After 2 months she is asking if we should find our own apartment. All of her ideas.

I was/am madly in love with her, even though she put me through emotional hell, even during the relationship. I found out that she had sex with two of my good friends before we started dating, one of which was my roommate. She said nothing happened, but then she got drunk one night and told me they had sex. My roommate informed me that it was a week before her and I started dating. So jealousy and distrust set in. We worked through it and then she had to go to a camp to be a counselor for 2 months. While she was gone she would call and text all the time telling me how much she missed me and loved me. She ended up coming home after a month because she couldn't cut it there. Things seemed to pick up right where they left off when she left. She told me she loved me, wanted marriage and children with me. Then about a week or two ago she started becoming distant. I would ask her if everything was alright, and she would blame it on the BC (birth control). Then out of the blue she started staying at her parents' house. So, I thought she needed some distance, so I gave it. Then after not seeing her for a couple days she texts me and says she's moving out and that we shouldn't get a place together. We talk about it when she comes over and she says we are still in a relationship and that she just needs distance. We move her stuff out and kiss goodbye. A half an hour later she texts me that she misses me. I didn't respond back because I was extremely confused at what just took place.

The next day I go to see her at her place for about an hour because she was leaving for a trip the next day. We seem fine, and she kisses me goodbye and hugs me tightly. While she is gone she barely contacts me. Then I get a text saying we are over and that she needs something else. I call her and she is drunk in her hotel room. She is telling me that I am boring, blank, and immature. Which is weird because she was the one that was always standoffish and never wanted to go out and do stuff. She also says that she has been seeing this guy and that he is cooler than I am. I honestly just met this guy around the same time she started becoming distant. We even worked together the weekend she was seeing him. She hangs up on me and the next day is texting and calling to apologize for dumping me so harshly. I give it a day and then we talked and I play it off like it's no big deal and that it just wasn't meant to be obviously. I also told her that I can now see what kind of person she truly is.

This is my first real relationship, and the first girl I ever loved. I'm so lost right now, and I feel so manipulated. I have sheltered myself from relationships like this, because I was afraid of this happening. I took a chance and got smashed.

I have been going out every night with friends and trying to have a good time, just to show her that I'm moving on, but I can't. It's so tough. Sorry this is so long, but this is the first time I have been able to rant to an unbiased party. Any advice would help! Thanks!

She is picking up the rest of her stuff later today. We haven't spoke since Sunday. Also, I hung out with the guy she has been seeing a couple nights ago and was very cordial to him. She was texting him all night while I was sitting there. Why am I doing this to myself?

Also, she has HPV, and I'm pretty sure I'm a carrier now.
Forget her , anyone you want

One week with NC!
I've been keeping myself very busy, and I have been thinking of her a lot less.

Girls are starting to appear out of the woodwork once I picked up some hobbies and started getting out every night.

I'm still cleaning up the mess that my ex left (i.e. leaving me with no apartment and no roommate with one week before I have to move out). This is actually becoming fun though! It will be nice finding a new place and shedding this place with all of the unwanted memories.

I do have a quick question though...

I have been keeping up with the NC, and I haven't been looking at her online profiles, but I will be having a college course with her in exactly a week. How do I keep NC, but show her that what she did to me didn't bother me and actually was for the best (even though it hurt like hell)?

Thanks everyone for the support, and I'm sorry for backlashing at some responders. I know your intentions were good, but I was just bitter at the time, and even though what you were saying was right, I just didn't want to hear it. Looking back at your posts you were right and I'm sorry for being an a**!

So, if anyone can give me advice on what to do with the NC, but being forced to see her, that would be helpful. I just need some different perspectives on this matter.

Dear FullofRacquet- Allheart has some great insight for you. I would like to elaborate on her post. Although this is a very traumatic relationship for you, it is beneficial to experience life. What does not destroy us makes us stronger. I know there were qualities that drew you to this person in the first place however it goes to show you what is easy to miss while viewing the surface.

Your instincts are very good and you need to learn how to trust them. There are always others out there who can appreciate the unique person you are. In my experience I learned that when I fall in love with a troubled person, I waste much time and energy that I could have been giving the right person.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes. With mistakes comes learning. Having bad relationships is good in a way because it helps you really know when you have found the right person.

You know what was crazy! I'm a writer, so I document a lot of my thoughts and feelings about everything that is occurring in my life. I went back in one of my notebooks, and it is almost like I predicted everything that was going to happen. Everything I wrote pretty much came to manifest itself. I totally forgot that I wrote these things, but it was talking about the distance between us, how she must be seeing somebody else, that I am not giving her everything that she needs. It's almost like my subconscious was throwing warning signs in front of my face, but I allowed lust to blind me from these warnings.

I do feel like now that I should trust my instincts more and go for what I want.

Thanks for your insight MDGadgetGuy! Also, Allheart has some beautiful insight, and I thank you as well! Your words were comforting during my roughest patch!


Any advice on me having to see her in a week? I have had NC for one week!

When seeing an ex, and still in the healing process, be sure to be polite, but unavailable, and keep the conversation brief, but impersonal. Never initiate. Hi and bye, is not rude, but never be dragged into a talk about what you have been through, nor fall for the I miss you or can we try again and above all, lets be friends. Okay is a good answer, and being busy is the action. Never argue, when you can leave.

Busy, and unavailable, (sorry, but I have something to take care of, we can talk later), is the way to go in my opinion. Never let them see you sweat, meaning put on that happy face and attitude and make it real, don't wear your heart on your sleeve.

The greatest coping skill to develop for yourself, is the ability to focus on whats important, and not be distracted by the sideshow. Never let anyone push your buttons, and know when that's what they are doing.

Hi FullofRacquet- Although I know you will be hurting inside it may be therapeutic to not respond to her negatively. People who are troubled often interpret things differently than you may expect. I would just be friendly, you don't have to talk with her- but at the same time if she asks you a question -be polite - don't initiate anything. If you talk let her do the initiating. The best thing you can do is try not to slip into the parent-child role. Treat her like an adult and you will thank yourself later. Remember something good has come out of this experience. She has taught you more about yourself.

I have been nothing but cordial to her since the breakup, which I believe is the right thing to do. Even though I haven't spoken to her since she left last week. Like they say, two wrongs don't make a right. Hopefully, she realized what a genuinely, caring person I am and that she isn't going to break my spirit. Sure, I hit a rough patch right after the breakup, but now I feel like I am making a fast and steady recovery. I'm just afraid that when I see her, that I might break. I have removed everything that she gave me or we got together from my apartment, her # is no longer in my phone, I don't look at her online profiles anymore, so I'm just afraid that once I see her and hear her again, that my feelings might explode. I don't know if for better or for worse, but I guess this is living. You never know what is going to happen. That's why we play this crazy game.
I'm glad I get to have a class with her though, so twice a week, she can see what she is missing :)
I am a little nervous though about that first encounter...

Hi FullofRacquet- I'm glad to hear you are moving forward. Keep in mind you still may need to mourn the relationship ending. This is quite normal. Remember a positive attitude brings positive things. You will be fine and remarkably seasoned for that new girl that comes around.

Understandable.

You know what was crazy!? I'm a writer, so I document a lot of my thoughts and feelings about everything that is occurring in my life. I went back in one of my notebooks, and it is almost like I predicted everything that was going to happen. Everything i wrote pretty much came to manifest itself. I totally forgot that I wrote these things, but it was talking about the distance between us, how she must be seeing somebody else, that I am not giving her everything that she needs. It's almost like my subconscious was throwing warning signs in front of my face, but I allowed lust to blind me from these warnings.

I am so glad you wrote this. Can I point out something to you? Well I am going to anyway. I want to show you something very important.

Do you know that you are a Powerful Creator of your own reality? If you didn't know that, just look back at your writings in your journal and that should be proof enough that you actually designed this whole situation.

You know what was crazy!? I'm a writer, so I document a lot of my thoughts and feelings about everything that is occurring in my life. I went back in one of my notebooks, and it is almost like I predicted everything that was going to happen. Everything i wrote pretty much came to manifest itself.
The experiences you have been through in your relationship have not come about by chance, nor have they been caused by outside factors or circumstances. Something you have done has brought about these results. You are in control of what happens to you. So whatyou were thinking about atthe time you wrote those things and dwelled on for days have been negative thoughts as if you were asking for those things to happen.

Remember that there are only two ways you can look at a situation or event. Positively or negatively. Your thoughts create your reality. So you have to choose your thoughts wisely. One of the universal laws is that whatever you ask for you will recieve. You may not have come out and said that this is what you desired but your negative thinking caused your subconscious mind to materialize it in your reality. Once you realize this then there really is no one that could be blamed for it. And once you are aware of your thoughts and thinking pattern you can actually change any situation into a more desirable reality. So instead of pondering and worrying about how to handle being around her in class....begin to focus on a more desirable, positive outcome when you do run into her.

I can go into more detail on how to change any situation in your life to a positive one but
if anything, I want you to take from this is to always choose your thoughts wisely. You have proven it to yourself how powerful your thoughts are.

I totally agree with you Janmarie!

Before I started dating her, I was actually studying the Laws of Attraction. I even remember asking the universe for HER! It didn't seem plausible at the time, but that is what happened! I lost sight of that, and now realizing that I created this world for myself makes me sick! Lol.

I'm really glad that you responded to that, because right after I wrote that post, I realized that I manifested the events through my negative thinking, and my subconscious took over and created this world for me. It's crazy how things like that work. You are right though, I should try thinking more positive, and focus my energy on a happy and healthy life for myself and those around me. Even her.

I have done the same things and for some reason you needed to learn this lesson and I feel that you have.

You are, we all are, deliberate thinkers. We can choose what we want to think about. The ego mind which is such a fearful part of us always looks at possible outcomes in a negative way...maybe to try and protect itself from being hurt but in doing so it thinks continuously about bad things that could happen, it is suspicious of everything and when thought of enough it will come true. So thinking your love is cheating on you because she came home late...eventually it will be a reality. I am not sure if that is what happened in your thinking process but what ever it was it eventually happened.

Training your thoughts is not as easy as said especially if you don't know how to effectively do it. But if you start now it will become second nature to you real soon and you will see a dramatic shift in what you experience on a daily basis and trust me...you will feel so good.

You do realize you can take her to court for passing HPV to you?
If she did not inform you, that is a serious matter...

Besides that, she's a wh0re... seriously, sexing it up with guys cause you're drunk?
I was drunk but I was able to keep my weinie in my pants...

She claimed that she found out about it during our relationship. That was a sickening day when she told me that. Because she followed that up with, "I have no idea who I could have gotten it from either." Showing that she was playing around a lot more before the two of us than I ever imagined. RED FLAG. RED FLAG. And I looked right through it. Lesson Learned.

She claimed that she found out about it during our relationship. That was a sickening day when she told me that. Because she followed that up with, "I have no idea who I could have gotten it from either." Showing that she was playing around a lot more before the two of us than I ever imagined. RED FLAG. RED FLAG. And I looked right through it. Lesson Learned.


If she did not inform you before sex, she's in trouble here.
You, sir, will be getting money from her back if you take it to court.
Are you going to do that? It's your choice. Regardless, HPV is incurable.

Well, I made the mistake of getting on Facebook today, and the first thing I see on the news feed is her new status "((Her Name) Hearts Him!). At first I was a little angry, but then I quickly logged out and came on here to read. After taking some time to re-gather my thoughts, I realized that I am maturing about this and that it doesn't really bother me. I had a good day! I went and played some basketball with my friends, I lifted some weights, I might have found a place to live. I even have my evening planned to spend some time with my friends.

I'm just wondering? Do you think she is saying those things intentionally to try to get to me since I haven't contacted her in over a week? It doesn't really matter, but I thought it would be beneficial for people to hear and discuss if somebody else is going through the same thing.

My opinion is that she is insecure, and that things aren't going as well as she says they are, and now she is just trying to put on a front to try to get a rise out of me. What she doesn't know though is that I have been on a great website (this one) discussing things out and moving on with my life without her.

So, what do you think? Is she attempting at jealousy or is she actually moving on (which I hope she is, and I hope she is beginning to find what she is looking for)?

Hi FullofRACQUET- It is difficult to say if she is moving on or not. Everyone copes differently. However, what is for certain is she is dealing with the situation at a child's level. She may not have the ability to transcend this so you should be prepared for more childish behavior. No problem with you checking out the FaceBook page. You are in the process of mourning and moving on with your life wich is a very positive thing. The fact that you can predict negative outcomes from visiting the site shows you that you are learning from your experiences. Give yourself some time to sort things out. Best not to be a fortune teller for her however. Focus on being the person you want others to respect you for being. Keep up the good work.

Focus on being the person you want others to respect you for being.

This should be posted on every board! What an uplifting statement!

Thanks for your vote of confidence FullofRACQUET! I am glad you are able to make use of my insight. Please don't hesitate to ask me anything. I fell into the Psych career path accidentally and am working on my second BA. I am starting to find a natural inclination so I will most likely end up going for a PhD. I really enjoy helping others and have my own unique counseling philosophy.

You have grown alot since you asked your first questions and recieved many valuable opinions and insights. You may not see a lot of changes in yourself but we can and you are doing a great job, you are focused, more confident and things in your life (like the possibility of a new place) are all coming together for you. Keep thinking those positive thoughts.....and in times when you feel like you are failing...come here and we will help support you back to center.

Keep reminding yourself that whatever you ask for you will recieve...ask for positive things.

Try not to focus to much on what she might be thinking or even why she does what she does. Detach yourself and think of happy visions of a life without her. Your new life.

One thing that checking up on her online is, the questions it raises for which there are no answers, but it can be distracting, and hurtful. At least you left quickly, and got busy, and that's exactly what you should do.

Just stay off her Facebook, and keep doing what your doing. What she does, and the motives behind her actions is, IRRELEVANT to what your doing, so stay focused on what matters to you.

Wow, you had quite the worldwind didn't you. Your head must be spinning. You know, no matter what anyone tells you and how good and positive the advise is, you will only be able to shake her when you have absolutely had enough. You will decide one day that you no longer want to be put through the ringer by someone who is obviously not on the same page. When that happens you will feel so much lighter and so relieved. She was and still is blocking your view. Thank her for getting out of the way of a better mate in your life. Realize that we all have to go through some turmoil in order to really appreciate the peace that comes after.

CURVE BALL!

She called tonight.

I didn't answer, and she didn't leave a message.

I did notice that she finally picked up her bike at the bottom of my apartment stairs. So, I'm guessing that is all that it's about.

It was almost another road block though. Right when I noticed that it was her # on my phone, I started to think about what it could be. Even a little part of me wanted her to be calling to want me. Is that bad? I have no intentions of getting back together with her, but she keeps on doing this... why can't she just let things rest for a while?

20 minutes after my previous post, she texted me.

I forgot that I put a small thing in one of her bags. It was a gift that I got her about 2 weeks before she broke up with me, but I was saving it for her birthday. I threw it in there without trying to get a reaction, I even totally forgot about it. I just figured that I couldn't use it and I didn't know anybody else that would like it, so why not?

Well, she texted me telling me how much she liked it and then she thanked me.

I didn't respond.

1 Week and 2 days of NC!

UPDATE: Here is my original question:https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/unexpectedly-dumped-248629.html

Well, I had the first encounter with her exactly 2 weeks after I started NC. I was nice to her when I first saw her before our class. She ended up following me into the room and sitting right next to me. During class, it almost became a competition of who was happier. She was trying to joke with me and I would oblige. We surprisingly laughed a lot! I didn't want to make it seem like she has a negative effect on me. We even ended up discussing the Democratic National Convention and I told her my views. We are on opposite belief systems when it comes to politics. Well, after class I gave her another bag of her stuff that I accumulated while cleaning out my apartment. She dropped the bag on accident and broke everything anyway. Figures. She talked to me for a little longer and she was of course texting and checking her phone the whole time. We parted ways.

About 3 hours later she texts me and begins to bash my beliefs in politics. I didn't want to respond, but I have to stick up for my beliefs. I ended up getting into a political debate with her via text. She then tells me that my thoughts are good, unlike most people our age. I didn't respond back.

Yesterday, I had to stop at the store to pick up some ice cream for a party. I park my car, get out and I am instantly face to face with my ex's sister and her husband. Awesome! I made sure to be very nice to them and I talked to them with a smile on my face. I didn't bring up my ex once. I said bye, told them to take care, and walked away with a skip in my step and a smile on my face. Of course, my ex texts me asking if I saw her sister today. I didn't respond back.

After seeing her though for the first time after a while, I still felt feelings. I am having some trouble getting over her for some reason, mostly because of my dreams. Whenever I sleep, she is always in my dreams. It's driving me crazy. I'll wake up thinking about her because of these dreams.

I figure I would share this with you to get some feedback. Maybe some advice or insight.

A little bump in the road, it happens. Just keep NC and go one with your life and ignore her texts and all. You acted very well in this situation and you have to be proud of yourself. Things will still remind you of her and you will unexpectedly run into her, just remember to keep your interactions short and polite and go on with your day and life, leave the past in the past as she doesn't deserve you thiking about her. The time you shared was great and you both enjoyed it, but do not let yourself g TC

What does g TC mean? Sorry, I'm not good with the lingo...

I believe it stands for too close.

You cannot control whom you see and where you see them. You did well when faced with both parties. I think it quite commonafter a break-up to re-visit the relationship after an encounter with anex or even family members, always trying to interpret what the other is doing.

Time will lessen all of this. If you can avoid her than do so, if you can't than NEVER let your feelings show or look to deeply into what is just an innocent meeting.

Relax dude, you have just had some old feelings stirred up for a bit, but it will pass. It had only been two weeks, so it wasn't like those feelings were dead, and buried, and the same for the dreams, your still fresh from the break up, and the dust has yet to really settle. It will.

What does g TC mean? Sorry, I'm not good with the lingo...

Sorry FullofRacquet I was writing go (forgot the o) and TC stands for take care lol

Somehow, when you think things are going great, things just need to snow ball. I have been trying to help a lot of you out lately, and now I'm afraid I might need some help. I hit a bump in the road.

Things were going great, but today I was extremely depressed. My ex is in my class, and I decided to sit on the other side of the room today next to some people I knew instead of sitting where I did last time when she sat next to me. She went straight for the seat she had last time, not expecting to see me on the other side of the room. I didn't talk to her or look at her once today. 2 hours without anything. This was the first time in almost a year of knowing her that I didn't talk to her while in the same room. It's tough, especially with all the history. I was of course joking around with my friends and laughing and paying attention to class. I didn't hear anything from her the entire class.

Well, afterwards I had a very strange and sickening feeling. I spent some time by myself and began to write. It was very depressing material.

Well, I got home and I checked e-mails, and then DUN DUN DUN!! I checked Facebook. She changed her profile pic and added photos. Of course I look... I couldn't restrain. Her and her new man... all over the place... all over each other... a camping trip... her in his t-shirt... I have tried to take advice from all of you wonderful people, but this hit me hard. I am so depressed right now, and I need some help. I was doing so well! Please tell me that I am getting close to the end of the hurt!

I just wish I had somebody to turn to, but everyone believes I'm over this situation. It's destroying me!! I just wish I could have had a head start like she did to find somebody else! I mean... this guy (28) is 8 years older than her, but he acts like a teenager. She told me that I was immature!! I'm 1/2 a year older than her. It looks like she is drinking, and smoking, and smoking pot again... everything that she quit and limited when with me. I care about her and worry about her because of her HPV. I know I shouldn't, but we did have an emotional connection one way or another. I know it's not my problem because it's her life, but it's so tough to sit back and watch! Why couldn't I have been more of a man during the relationship? Talked to her. Destroyed my jealousy and insecurities?

I just need to talk. I'm sorry.

Keep ranting, its good for you. Ya think she knew how to get your goat? Of course she did, as how dare you move away and not pay her the attention she is due. Shame on you! Tsk, Tsk!!

First off do not start questioning what you did in the relationship, if it was good enough or not enough. You did what you had to do and you both were happy for a while, and as you mature together sometimes people go and start thinking in different ways. In my opinion I think she needed to be "free" and have fun and try new things (a lot of girls her age act this way), and who knows she might regret it (especially if she is taking on all these bad habits again). So that s n1.
Secondly you should avoid Facebook as much as possble, if you still want to check it out might I suggest deleting her from your friends list for the moment as it clearly affects you (hey it sometimes still affects me but I try and be strong). I also feel that her being with someone else will help you, even though it hurts at first, it helps you move on quicker because if you still had any doubts about if you would get back together or what is she thinking now, well this clears everything. In helped me be better when I found out she was with someone kind off a few weeks after we broke up and when I knew they were together officially it really upset me but I think it was a blessing in disguise because now I could not care less about her.
Finally do not question who she is with, let her make own mistakes and let her live her own life now. You say this guy is not someone she should be with and is an idiot, hey let her be with her new idiot, if this is the guy she wants good for her, know that you have higher expectations in someone and keep on moving on (this is a lesson learnt) .
Remember that You do not have to give her anything, not even a single thought really after what has happened. I know it is hard but you need to make an effort and as soon as you start thinking about a good moment quickly stop and move to somehting else or remember the times you guys fought about a stupid issue and she drove you crazy.

It is good to come here an vent and don't worry you will have some ups and downs but eventually it will start coming together. After a while you also start to get annoyed always being in this situation and you realize that it is not worthit, that she is not worth it and you really start to feel better. I know this may be weird but have you ever tried doing a list of what you like and don't like after you guys broke up, I did that as soon as I broke up and I could really come up with a lot to put on the "bad" side, but guess what when I really started calming down and started thinking rationally again I had more negatives about the relationship. Think about it!!

Don't worry, everyone has a bump on the road. Just take care and stay strong, and come here to write and vent anytime.

Thanks guys! That is what I needed to hear. Yeah, I guess I shouldn't really give a sh** about her anymore. I guess it's going to take time for me to rebuild the holes that she has left in my life, I just have trouble with patience. I like outcomes as soon as possible.

It's tough though where we go to school because the guy to girl ratio is like 10 guys for every girl, and she is probably the most sought after girl. And I have been looking around, and I haven't been having much luck with the women. I am also currently just living around with friends because I lost my apartment and I can't move into this new one until this weekend. All of my stuff is in a storage unit. It's just been a tough month. Everything I wanted was there, and then within an instant it was all gone. Crazy.

I have been working harder on my career and my body, which has helped forget her a little bit. It's tough just knowing I am going to have to see her every week until December. Ugh.

I'm also assuming that it is tough for me just because this was my first attempt at a real relationship. The first girl I ever "loved". The manipulation just sucks. I remember before we started dating, I wasn't that interested in her, but it was almost like she tricked me into dating her, and then I end up falling for her. Then she leaves. Right before we started dating, I was pursuing this girl that was great, but I brushed her aside once I decided to take a chance on my ex. It's just funny how things work out.

I'm also assuming that it is tough for me just because this was my first attempt at a real relationship. The first girl I ever "loved". The manipulation just sucks.

I totally understand all you are saying. I am going through the same thing. It is really hard because at first you believe in it so much. And at the time you choose not too see all the red flags because its really hard admitting that something you believed in so much could have come out so wrong. Like you I was seeing someone else before I started dating my ex. At the time I was living in a flat with another 4 people, 1 of which was my ex. At the time she was dating someone else as was I. She then broke up with him and she started hanging out with me all the time. I was weirded out at first to be honest. I didn't have any feelings for her. This went on for some time but I didn't want anything to happen. I ended up falling in love with her. The point I am trying to make is that what she did with me 3 years ago is not far to what she did to me know (left me for someone else) so there are always red flags but sometimes the emotions take over and it is really hard to notice them. Now you knoe though and next time round it will be much easier to pick up on all that and not fall into a similar trap.

Just avoid Facebook. She clearly knows you will be checking and might even be trying to play games with you. If it appears as if you are totally over it then I would think its something that is bothering her but you shouldn't care about it. Keep it up and soon she will just give up. Let her do whatever she wants as long as you are not part of it. You were definitely the mature one in the relationship and proof of that is the way you are dealing with this. Just stay focused and you will be fine.

Thank you for the advice! That was a great post to read. I actually am doing a lot better today.

I have to see her again tomorrow for class, but I am starting to really see the bigger picture. She is a slu*t, and I am looking for something better than that. Let her continue to do these harmful things to herself, and I will continue to better my life both mentally and physically. I will continue pursuing my dreams while she is stuck in her revolving door of relationships and one night stands. And I think you are exactly right when you said that once she realizes that the little games that she is playing now don't bother me, she will eventually give up and forget about me, as I will be forgetting about her.

I am almost excited to have time to myself. I can get my life back in order and begin my new chapter. Let her get lost between the pages. Before her I loved the single life. I need to find that again, and I believe that once I get my mind is straight that I will find that again. Let her be tied down again already while I am free and enjoying the pleasures of life. It's time to take a stand and not allow her to wreck havoc on my life without even being present. Life is so much bigger than her. Cherish the good memories, but remember and learn from the bad memories. All of the memories are beginning to fade together actually.

I had lunch today with a woman who I have become good friends with these past couple weeks. I met her in class. Well, we began to talk about stuff like this and she really opened my eyes. She told me she got divorced after 7 years of marriage, but she knows that she doesn't need somebody to be happy. She is confident and moving on freely, even though this man cheated on her and then ended up moving in with his mistress after the divorce. Craziness.

I do believe seeing those pictures is actually making this easier for me. Now, I truly know what kind of person she is. A manipulative b*t*h. She doesn't deserve me glorifying her in my mind. She is scum to be able to do this to not only one person, but probably even more. Even though she is a poisonous person, I still wish that she will find her true happiness one day.

Hopefully this will be my last post about her. So, I figured I will get out everything that I have needed to say. She doesn't even deserve to be discussed about between such great people as yourselves. The ones that are here to help complete strangers through troubling times. It's a pity that people like her exist, but it's great that there are people like you to counteract her destructive ways. Thank you to everybody that has taken the time to help me and support me with such heartfelt responses.

I hopefully will be able to pay all of you back in one way or another. As of right now, I'm going to pay you back by becoming a stronger and better man from this experience, and I will continue my pursuit of happiness without her as a mental road block. It's probably easier said than done, but I believe writing it almost makes it like a contract for myself.

Thanks again everybody! And I wish you all a happy and prosperous life. I will still be around, trying to help others out of their ruts, but I now believe it would be best for me to put this thread to rest (personally) and allow it to be here as a reference for others that might be going through similar situations.

That s the Spirit keep it up... HURRAH

Dude, that was not a relationship.

BUT YOU ARE EXCUSED! It was your first "serious" girlfriend - and it is a learning experience! And what you are SUPPOSED to do:
Try. And learn.
Fail. And get back up. That's part of life. And why we are all here.

Hey, only one girl will be the one - and the more you learn the better you'll get at finding her.
And not let some sexy drunk make you lose your head trying to keep up with her to keep a relationship going.

But enough is enough. This is a win-win for you. You have lost nothing -- except insanity.

That was sex for hire with a nutty ho'.

You should have left $100 on the bed and changed your number.

There is not ONE thing that made her eligible for a girlfriend. I know you are feeling hurt a bit still but you will be FINE!

You lost nothing on this relationship. Imagine if she was an Ivy League student, who was sexy and also the coolest girl you and your parents ever knew - and was a model citizen and your best friend. Farfetched? Well... at least see if you can raise the bar my man.

NC? NC Whatever... You can pen her in for NC4EVER. She is a ZERO. If you contact her again, then you shouldn't be mad at her -
You should be mad at yourself...

Hey, thanks Ash! I have read a lot of your posts, and you seem to have a fairly good idea of what the best thing is for people. I hold you in high regards. I definitely kept going back to your break-up survivor guide, which by the way is phenomenal reading for anybody that is going through a breakup, especially a rough one.

Can you take a look at my other post and let me know what you think of my progress so far? It's been pretty much exactly a month since she broke up with me.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/update-unexpectedly-dumped-254013.html

Thanks ASH!

Thank you for the advice! That was a great post to read. I actually am doing a lot better today.

I have to see her again tomorrow for class, but I am starting to really see the bigger picture. She is a slu*t, and I am looking for something better than that. Let her continue to do these harmful things to herself, and I will continue to better my life both mentally and physically. I will continue pursuing my dreams while she is stuck in her revolving door of relationships and one night stands. And I think you are exactly right when you said that once she realizes that the little games that she is playing now don't bother me, she will eventually give up and forget about me, as I will be forgetting about her.

I am almost excited to have time to myself. I can get my life back in order and begin my new chapter. Let her get lost between the pages. Before her I loved the single life. I need to find that again, and I believe that once I get my mind is straight that I will find that again. Let her be tied down again already while I am free and enjoying the pleasures of life. It's time to take a stand and not allow her to wreck havoc on my life without even being present. Life is so much bigger than her. Cherish the good memories, but remember and learn from the bad memories. All of the memories are beginning to fade together actually.

I had lunch today with a woman who I have become good friends with these past couple weeks. I met her in class. Well, we began to talk about stuff like this and she really opened my eyes. She told me she got divorced after 7 years of marriage, but she knows that she doesn't need somebody to be happy. She is confident and moving on freely, even though this man cheated on her and then ended up moving in with his mistress after the divorce. Craziness.

I do believe seeing those pictures is actually making this easier for me. Now, I truly know what kind of person she is. A manipulative b*t*h. She doesn't deserve me glorifying her in my mind. She is scum to be able to do this to not only one person, but probably even more. Even though she is a poisonous person, I still wish that she will find her true happiness one day.

Hopefully this will be my last post about her. So, I figured I will get out everything that I have needed to say. She doesn't even deserve to be discussed about between such great people as yourselves. The ones that are here to help complete strangers through troubling times. It's a pity that people like her exist, but it's great that there are people like you to counteract her destructive ways. Thank you to everybody that has taken the time to help me and support me with such heartfelt responses.

I hopefully will be able to pay all of you back in one way or another. As of right now, I'm going to pay you back by becoming a stronger and better man from this experience, and I will continue my pursuit of happiness without her as a mental road block. It's probably easier said than done, but I believe writing it almost makes it like a contract for myself.

Thanks again everybody! And I wish you all a happy and prosperous life. I will still be around, trying to help others out of their ruts, but I now believe it would be best for me to put this thread to rest (personally) and allow it to be here as a reference for others that might be going through similar situations.

Enjoy your next relationships :)

I'll be dwelling on alcohol and cigarettes...
Found out a few days ago... that one of the girls' who liked me "a lot" is actually committed to someone else...

Yep~ my relationship FUQING SUCKS... I wonder why girls mess with my mind and heart...

There is no rhyme or reason, man. I have found some positive outlets recently that have been helping me feel more confident and healthier, both physically and mentally.

I have cut my drinking down to the point where I might have 3 beers a week. For some reason, when I drink, I think of my lush of an ex, and realize that this was one of the problems of our relationship. I was trying to cut back my drinking, but she needed alcohol to have confidence and feel good about herself. She started to drag me back into drinking, but now I have complete control over my actions.

Now, I get up every morning and go run hills. There is this giant hill right behind where I live and I'll throw on some tunes and sprint up the hill, and then do pushups once I get to the top, and then repeat until I am on the verge of falling over. It's pretty intense, but I have been feeling so much better physically, and the woman have been noticing. Also, I got a library card and I have been going at least 5 hours a week and getting lost in knowledge and things that I enjoy.

Also, I don't get on Facebook or myspace, which has freed up A LOT of my time for focusing on school. It also doesn't allow me to know what my ex is doing with her new boy. What you don't know won't hurt you.

From reading a lot of stories and advice columns, I have realized that if you take this time that you don't have somebody to improve yourself into the person that you would be proud of, then you will be sure to find somebody that respects you and wants to know more about you. Maybe even the "one"?

Here, I am going to make a pact for myself, and for other people to see that it is possible, even if it's tough to get over an ex with leaps and bounds.
For one month:
I will not get on Facebook or myspace.
I will put on 4 pounds of muscle.
I will read 3 books that interest me.
I will do all of my work for school (on time) :).
I will talk to one stranger (preferably a woman) a day.
I will go out and do something new once a week (concert, festival, club, museum, etc.).

I'm going to keep everyone updated on my progress. Now that I have so much time for myself, it should be EASY to accomplish a lot of these things. This will be extremely useful for me and hopefully it will give some motivation to those that need a little boost. I just read on another post it's like a before and after when you go back and read your progress through time and posts. Well, this will be my new BEFORE and I can't wait to see the AFTER.

This NC stuff really does work!!
I haven't spoken to my ex for 2 WEEKS and 2 DAYS! And that is with seeing her in my class.
It has been so much easier to move on! I have been truly enjoying my life recently.
I went and saw Foo Fighters the other night and I was only 6 rows up, center. It was incredible. I have also been meeting with a woman once a week for breakfast and we discuss life and the deeper meaning, and it is incredible at how much she has healed me through words. What an amazing friend she is. Just imagine if I still was with my ex. There would be no way that I would be having this much fun. Also, I have been realizing that there are still people out there that are honest and trustworthy, and overall good people.

I have picked up two books to read, and now I am getting ready to go for a run in the park. I haven't checked facebok or myspace for 3 days, and it's getting easier with each day. I am moving this weekend as well, and I have a little road trip planned to go see some friends for their birthdays. Things seem to be getting brighter each day.

For anyone that is having problems and feels like that it's the end of the world, it truly is not. Just put a smile on your face and realize that the past no longer exists, and the future doesn't exist, there is only now, so enjoy it!!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful week thus far!

If I hadn't been dumped I wouldn'tve gone to three radiohead gigs in the space of 10 days, as well as rock werchter (4 day festival in belgium).. Best summer of my life :D

Well, here is an update!

I got my new place, and I am loving it! Right in the city. I have been working out everyday and I'm starting to see some results from that. Also, I changed my diet and I've been feeling great. I have also been working harder in school, which is starting to really pay off.

I have spoken to my EX a couple of times though. One night she text me telling me she met one of my friends and that he is so nice. I wrote back, "Yeah he's a cool kid."
Then the next day, at school, I see her and her new boyfriend together. I see him first and he was going to ignore me, but I was mature and said hey because I knew him before all of this. Then I was sitting on a couch talking to one of my friends and she comes up and sits next to me, without her boyfriend. She again tells me that she met my friend. All I did was ask her how my friend was doing. I knew she was trying to get a rise out of me, or maybe ask her where she was when this happened, but I didn't fold. I graciously ignored her then and went back to talking to my friend.

I also found out that this project that I am going to be working on, she is going to be working on. Actually, there are two projects.

I feel like I am being very mature about the whole thing, and I am moving on. But...

Yesterday, she text one of my good friends who also knows her and her new boyfriend fairly well. She apologized to him for what she did to me. What does that mean?

Well, here is an update!

I got my new place, and I am loving it! Right in the city. I have been working out everyday and I'm starting to see some results from that. Also, I changed my diet and I've been feeling great. I have also been working harder in school, which is starting to really pay off.

I have spoken to my EX a couple of times though. One night she text me telling me she met one of my friends and that he is so nice. I wrote back, "Yeah he's a cool kid."
Then the next day, at school, I see her and her new boyfriend together. I see him first and he was going to ignore me, but I was mature and said hey because I knew him before all of this. Then I was sitting on a couch talking to one of my friends and she comes up and sits next to me, without her boyfriend. She again tells me that she met my friend. All I did was ask her how my friend was doing. I knew she was trying to get a rise out of me, or maybe ask her where she was when this happened, but I didn't fold. I graciously ignored her then and went back to talking to my friend.

I also found out that this project that I am going to be working on, she is going to be working on. Actually, there are two projects.

I feel like I am being very mature about the whole thing, and I am moving on. But...

Yesterday, she text one of my good friends who also knows her and her new boyfriend fairly well. She apologized to him for what she did to me. What does that mean?

Sounds like she's trying to stir up some trouble with you & your friends

I agree.

My EX loves having an affect on people, whether it's good or bad. I just don't play any of her games anymore, and it seems like it's driving her nuts. I'm not doing it intentionally though, I'm just moving on with my life, but she obviously still needs me to show that she has an affect on me. It's weird stuff. She has a new boyfriend who she is obviously enjoying, why not just focus on that? I don't care anymore. I'm happy being single. I'm really taking the time to improve myself and fix the things that I feel like I have neglected. It's great.

This is the first time that I have laughed to myself about the whole situation. The stuff that happened is so crazy that it's just funny!!

I agree.

My EX loves having an affect on people, whether it's good or bad. I just don't play any of her games anymore, and it seems like it's driving her nuts. I'm not doing it intentionally though, I'm just moving on with my life, but she obviously still needs me to show that she has an affect on me. It's weird stuff. She has a new boyfriend who she is obviously enjoying, why not just focus on that? I don't care anymore. I'm happy being single. I'm really taking the time to improve myself and fix the things that I feel like I have neglected. It's great.

This is the first time that I have laughed to myself about the whole situation. The stuff that happened is so crazy that it's just funny!!!

Try to get your friend away from her... LOL

Seems like she's trying to "guilt-trip" you.. as well as manipulate your friendship

There is this girl that has entered into my life recently, and she is fantastic. The kind of girl that I have always been looking for. Completely laid back, funny, laughs a lot, comfortable with who she is. We get along extremely well, but today I got a nice piece of news. She has a boyfriend of 5 years. :) DARN! I'll still be friendly, but I'm definitely going to tone it down, because I don't want to be one of those guys. If it was meant to be then it will be... right? Ugh! It's just frustrating. I thought she would be the light that sparks me once again. Oh well, it's still nice to see that there are girls like her still out there.

Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend.

There is this girl that has entered into my life recently, and she is fantastic. The kind of girl that I have always been looking for. Completely laid back, funny, laughs a lot, comfortable with who she is. We get along extremely well, but today I got a nice piece of news. She has a boyfriend of 5 years. :) DARN! I'll still be friendly, but I'm definitely going to tone it down, because I don't want to be one of those guys. If it was meant to be then it will be...right? Ugh! It's just frustrating. I thought she would be the light that sparks me once again. Oh well, it's still nice to see that there are girls like her still out there.

Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend.

Don't give up yet!
There are other girls around :D!

My parents and parents' friends all tell me to "let the fish come to the bait" and not "the bait come to the fish."

Sounds weird.. it's an ancient chinese metaphorical sayings xD

What craziness it has been.
Post breakups are ridiculously amusing to some extent.

Well, the girl I recently met who has a boyfriend... she's crazy! I have to work with her on a project, so we have a meeting, just her and I before we have to meet with other people. She tells me her entire life story, including all of her personal sex stories it felt like. She has a boyfriend! So I didn't ask, or pry. I was just talking normal stuff, and she dives into her sex life. Why am I attracted to crazies? :) jk. I'm not pursuing AT ALL, but I have to work with her for the next couple weeks. Should be interesting...

I still see my ex on a regular basis, and only talk to her when it involves work. She has moved on with her new boy just as fast as we moved in our relationship. Already giving and receiving the "I love you's" She doesn't contact me, and I don't contact her. I'm friends with both of them on Facebook, and when stuff pops up about them loving each other SO MUCH, it doesn't bother me as much anymore. I'm actually happy they found happiness, because they truly do seem to have a lot in common and the connection definitely seems to be there. And I try to say that with sincerity :)

I would be lying if I said that it didn't hurt a little bit to see her moving on so quickly, but I am doing better about putting that in the past.

I have been finding it easier to move on with each day. I have reached my goals so far that I set for myself. Working out everyday, eating healthier, talking to more people, reading more books, trying new things, enjoying life pretty much, and I feel like my inner self has grown a lot, and I feel like I am almost to the point where I would be healthy enough to go back to dating. We'll see...

I was actually thinking of asking a girl out that is quite the doll. She is one of the sweetest woman I have ever met, and she is beautiful! There is an age difference, so that is my only hesitation. She is about 8 years older than I am, but when we hang out we get along great! Maybe take the chance? We'll see with that as well...

I hope everyone has been doing great!

What craziness it has been.
Post breakups are ridiculously amusing to some extent.

Well, the girl I recently met who has a boyfriend...she's crazy! I have to work with her on a project, so we have a meeting, just her and I before we have to meet with other people. She tells me her entire life story, including all of her personal sex stories it felt like. She has a boyfriend! So I didn't ask, or pry. I was just talking normal stuff, and she dives into her sex life. Why am I attracted to crazies? :) jk. I'm not pursuing AT ALL, but I have to work with her for the next couple weeks. Should be interesting...

I still see my ex on a regular basis, and only talk to her when it involves work. She has moved on with her new boy just as fast as we moved in our relationship. Already giving and receiving the "I love you's" She doesn't contact me, and I don't contact her. I'm friends with both of them on facebook, and when stuff pops up about them loving each other SO MUCH, it doesn't bother me as much anymore. I'm actually happy they found happiness, because they truly do seem to have a lot in common and the connection definitely seems to be there. And I try to say that with sincerity :)

I would be lying if I said that it didn't hurt a little bit to see her moving on so quickly, but I am doing better about putting that in the past.

I have been finding it easier to move on with each day. I have reached my goals so far that I set for myself. Working out everyday, eating healthier, talking to more people, reading more books, trying new things, enjoying life pretty much, and I feel like my inner self has grown a lot, and I feel like I am almost to the point where I would be healthy enough to go back to dating. We'll see...

I was actually thinking of asking a girl out that is quite the doll. She is one of the sweetest woman I have ever met, and she is beautiful! There is an age difference, so that is my only hesitation. She is about 8 years older than I am, but when we hang out we get along great! Maybe take the chance? We'll see with that as well...

I hope everyone has been doing great!

There is a girl who is onto me but the age difference is 6/7 years..

I'm 19, turning 20... she's 13, turning 14.