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DWORKS
Aug 13, 2008, 04:43 AM
To make a long story short (cant tell by the long story,huh?) my boyfriend and I separated 01/07.. he was an over the road truck driver with our old address in Atlanta, GA. I moved to Tennessee for a new job. We had our problems but never officially ended the relationship until 05/07. He finally quit his job and moved to Tennessee where I was in August. We didn't get along because he felt like I should have dropped everything to accommodate him when he arrived. I had no idea he was coming but he felt like I should have had a room, food, clean clothes, etc waiting on him. He also has a friend that lives in the same city so I just assumed he would be living with him since he never contacted me regarding him relocation. He came angry at the world but I couldn't stop and drop everything because I was getting ready for work when he arrived. We purchased a car together and he asked if he could use it I explained"no problem just as long as I get to and home from work." Not to mention... I had a roommate. So to me that would be totally unfair for me to move someone in without my roommate permission/approval.

We continued to talk like boyfriend/girlfriend but I guess I wasn't giving him what he felt he deserved. We had several arguments regarding the car. His argument was he felt like he should have 100% use of car since I had it for 8 months prior to him arriving. In the meantime he's dating another woman, did I mention she was our old neighbor when we lived in the city prior to our Atlanta move which was due to him being closer to his children. (have I confused you yet?) Well, back to the story... we continued to date, (unofficially, so he says), have sex, etc. We were basically back to who we were before minus us living together. I didn't see him as often because he had finally gotten him an apartment on the other side of town and we worked opposite shifts. Again, we had never said OK we are officially a couple again but we did all the things that couples do, e.g. date, shop together, do laundry together, look at houses (to live in together), pay bills together etc. So how was I to know that we were not together?

Well, my lease on my apartment was up Jan 31 so I asked him if he would like for me to move in with him Feb 01, 08 so that we could save money, pay down balances on our credit so that we could finally buy a house by the end of his lease, Sept 08. So... I moved in with him and that night he didn't come home. I asked if he had someone several times prior to moving with him and each time he said NO, NO, NO. When I moved in our relationship changed for the worst he finally revealed that he had someone pregnant, yes, the neighbor. I felt like he did me wrong because I could have looked for another apartment or stayed where I was at. He had me waste my time, move all of my things on a lie. But not only was this woman pregnant but she was his WOMAN. We, she and I, finally had a run in. He actually disrespected me and allowed her to come inside the apt and when I arrived he was trying to get her out. I told him that I would leave but that I needed the key to the storage in Atlanta (where our furniture was). He told me no and then explained that he would call the police on me. For what? I'm only coming to where I live. He also proceeded to leave with her. He jumped into her car after she threw him the keys. Out of anger I pushed him and told him he owed me an explanation. It got ugly... he finally jumped out of the car and ran because he said he didn't want to deal with any of us (she and I). Prior to this incident I worked 345-1145pm but when I arrived at home about 1215 on a weekday he was still at her house. His excuse was "she's pregnant, and needed closer". So she needed closer at 1215am?! I finally left and went to a friends house because I have NOOOOOOOO family in this city. My closest family member is 800 miles away. So I was forced to go back because I couldn't afford to rent rooms from night to night and couldn't get another apt right away for the same reason. He finally came back with all of his belongings and proceeded to treat me really bad. Well, that was the beginning of February. I found out that they still continued to talk everyday, when she arrived at work, at lunch, and before she went home from work and sometimes when he was at home alone. He lied, of course, and said that they didn't talk that often and that I was paranoid. I finally showed him proof , detail billing, and he didn't have anything to say but "she needed closer, she's pregnant." The most painful thing about this is he and I were together 5 years and 3 of the 5 I unsuccessfully got pregnant. He officially dated her, out of convenience according to him, 3 months before she got pregnant. Ain't that a slap in the face? She already has 2 teenage daughters (youngest 15 years old.)

I would be lying if I said I didn't love him but where am I to draw the line? I know we weren't officially together when the baby was conceived. But how much she I allow being that she is pregnant? Where should I draw the line as far as how much they talk. I know they have to talk but how often is "too much". By the way she was sleeping with a married man before him and couldn't understand why she was having such a hard time with men.

Tell me your feelings:confused:

Romefalls19
Aug 13, 2008, 06:01 AM
The line was drawn when you came home and she was there. You just continued to let him push you further and further beyond that line. You need to put your foot down and cut off all contact with this guy, he is NO GOOD for you and is only going to continue taking advantage of you. Cut him out of your life for good or you will always be treated how you are being treated by him

liz28
Aug 13, 2008, 07:36 AM
It does not matter who she was involved with prior to him, he was with you and his lies cause the drama. His lies came to the light and even though you might have feelings for him, he don't deserve you. You should move on and heal yourself because you don't need this stress. Let the other women deal with him because what goes around comes around and he did you dirty but his dirt will come back to him, double time. In the meantime, you other issues to deal with, mainly finding a place to live and hope you do soon. I know you stated you don't have any family where you live but do you have any friends? If the stuff in storage is not of importance because it seems that he's going give you a hard time letting you retrive it, let him have it. Otherwise, you might have to get the court involve. In due time your get everything back, so look forward instead of in the past.

BetrayalBtCamp
Aug 13, 2008, 11:55 AM
I know you'd like a happy ending & you can have one for yourself but it's not likely to include him.

Even setting aside his crappy history with you, just the recent stuff is enough to run like the devil's behind you. First, he's still too emotionally & physically connected to her which he has no problem lying to you repeatedly & treating you very disrespectfully & definitely in unloving ways, for your relationship with him to have a snowball's chance in hell of being a good one for you.

At this point you are almost more of the other woman than she is to him. And he wants it that way.

And that's not taking into account that with a baby, he's now linked to her for the next 18 yrs with child support & visitation issues that still keep you an outsider to their connection. It will make the next 2 decades of your life a living hell in all sorts of ways that you really don't want to suffer through. The anguish & distress you are feeling now are nothing compared to what's in store if you keep trying to love him more than you love yourself.

I know you are still reeling right now & the financial issues make all this that much more stressful with a broken heart, but at least you have the power to stop him from hurting you repeatedly by breaking off all contact except that which is absolutely necessary for as short a time as you can make it.

Every day you waste on him is one you won't get back & will keep the sort of love you truly deserve at bay while you are still loyal & honest to a disloyal dishonest man who can & will keep making you miserable & feeling like second best on the "good" days.

I'm sorry this happened to you...

talaniman
Aug 13, 2008, 07:12 PM
Sorry things turned out that way but, it may be for the best, as the way to deal with this is to completely remove yourself from the situation, and let them deal with this together. No drama, confusion, or fuss.

Take this opportunity to get yourself back on track, without his dead weight and heal . That way you can build you a happy life, and see what life has for you. Don't be stuck in his shat. Ain't that much love in the world, is it?

ty_terra
Aug 14, 2008, 02:25 PM
Take it from me having a boyfriend and another woman pregnant by him gets ugly fast. I'm sorry everything turned out the way it did, but if he can do that then what's he going to do when another girl moves in next to you. Get yourself back on track then worrie about a guy that will have the girl for him and not the girl next door