Hello Everyone,

I was having this discussion with a friend of mine yesterday about break ups. I don't know how it lead to this but we sort of got curious as to how other people handle their break ups and more specifically who has the easiest break ups. Obviously we know it s harder for the dumpee. But we got thinking is it easier for the dumpee is she is a women ? Or not. The advice people give when you are the dumpee is very different if you are man or women. We know that every side has its own obstacles but we sort of thought that it was easier for women. Yes they sometimes act more emotionally and can be greater emotional pain, but we felt that it was easier for them to get back on their feet and move on. A man has to get his confidence back and that can take a while (not saying that women do not need that) but since most couples start of with the guy making the first step we thought that the recovery would be harder for men, since women could rather sit back and I guess wait for "something to happen"

What do you guys thinks ?

Because women usually are part of a social network and get lots of support from friends and are willing to talk about it all day and all night, a breakup is easier (in some ways) on them than on guys who tend not to share personal stuff with each other and who try to tough it out alone. (Or do you guys all share and sob on each other's shoulders?)

Haha I guess that is somewhat true, although I think my last break up I talked and shared with my friends a lot lool so does that make me an unusual guy ;)
Thanks for sharing

Anyone else ?

Look for NC (no contact) threads by ISneezeFunny ("Sneezy"). He is our poster child for breakups and recovery.

The person that is dumped hurts more.
(The dumper may feel guilt and regret and lonliness, but they will heal sooner.)

The person that was most in love hurts more.

No one group handles it easier per se. The only ones that don't have a problem are:

1) emotionally unreachable anyway
2) relieved to be free

The dumper is seldom in shock over the break up, the dumper never sees it coming until it happens, so may have been deeper involved enmotionally.

The dumper was wanting out in the first place and the dumpee didn't.

Saw that thread thanks wondergirl, and thanks for sharing Ash and Tal

Because women usually are part of a social network and get lots of support from friends and are willing to talk about it all day and all night, a breakup is easier (in some ways) on them than on guys who tend not to share personal stuff with each other and who try to tough it out alone. (Or do you guys all share and sob on each other's shoulders?)

Since this comes from a girl herself, this ought to be true, not that we guys didn't know it earlier, but now it has a stamp! Lol! And this is absolutely true, guys don't normally share their personal stuff with nyone, some not even their closest of friends.. therefore I completely agree that its easier for the girls to recuperate emotionally and mentally not that is isn't hard for them but it becomes relatively easier... definitely:(

The person that is dumped hurts more.


The person that was most in love hurts more.



I agree

It has always been that when you talk with someone you feel lighter and with time you get over it... just can't get that in my character though! :-(

Guess I can't about personal stuff.. :-(

Definitely the dumpee feels it more because they are in shock while the dumper, more than likely, had this mindset for awhile and just reached their boiling point.

Definately the dumpee feels it more because they are in shock while the dumper, more than likely, had this mindset for awhile and just reached their boiling point.

Well the dumpee is not necessarily entirely oblivious of the situation.. so I don't quite completely agree with this statement.. though I could definitely agree a 70% !:cool:

But usually the dumpee can feel it coming, once you know the other person you can tell when something is up so you would think it would make him or her react before it happens to maybe be the one to end it or "brace themselves" for the worst ?

Just a thought ;)

Hmmm I sort of disagree. I've been the dumper both times and had a harder time getting through it than the dumpees, my exes. All three times. In one, I knew it wasn't going to work out long-term, even though I liked him (increasingly so) and vice versa. I was just more willing to preempt the doomed relationship than he was. In another one, we wanted different things. In the last one, bad timing and too much baggage.

So I think it all depends on case-by-case scenario!

Then again, I guess I can't say anything since I've never been the dumpee.

I guess I can't say anything since I've never been the dumpee.

... showoff.

I see, you are right in saying that every sceneario is different... but as the dumper and feeling that bad, I might say I do not hear that much. It is reassuring to see that the pain of a break up (if ended of good term I presume) is shared by both and sometimes by the dumper. Thanks for sharing jiltedgirl.

Need to learn how to spell scenario haha :)

To sum up , is sharing the key in order to get through the pain??

No, I don't believe sharing is the key, although it helps. I my opinion time is only the real key...

And probably excluding oneself from the whole relationship, what I mean is not trying to keep tabs on him/her

Any new opinions out there ?

Hi Ithappens- I hope you re well.
Here's my two cents:
We re all different people and react differently- I ve always been the so called dumper but only when I ve got to the point when I ve realised that no matter how much time love and loyalty I put into the relationship it s not making me happy. So my breakups have been painful. I do however bounce back pretty quickly-a couple of months down the road I'm fine again. As for the guys I broke up with I couldn't tell you-its been NC forever.
I have a guy friend though whose wife left him five years ago and he s still not over her. Yes he s just started therapy so fingers crossed.
Interesting thread,thanks