I recently got married and would now like to change my Daughter's last name to her new Stepfathers. Her Bio-father is not on the birth cert. but does pay child support and has little to no contact with my daugther. We have no set visitation rights with the courts. Is this possible without the bio-father and if so what steps would I take to make this possible?

There you go teaching her to lie. Why would you want to do take her identify? He pays child support, so he must care about her. Is this for her welfare... or is it for you? What happens if you and hubby don't make it? Will she go back to being "Jones" again? I really hope that you do not have that child calling your new hubby "Daddy".

There you go teaching her to lie. Why would you want to do take her identify? He pays child support, so he must care about her. Is this for her welfare...or is it for you? What happens if you and hubby don't make it? Will she go back to being "Jones" again? I really hope that you do not have that child calling your new hubby "Daddy".


First of all you don't know the situation... He has another family and my daughter just met him this year... she is now turning 7... I've known my husband since I was in middle school and have been together since my daughter was 1 year old... until my husband came around my daughter did not have a father... her father is a looser and has no love for her... just was ties with me, and I'm not for that... oh by the way, child support is , I can't even buy food for the house with that money... so maybe you should learn all the facts before openning your month

Well, since you have all the facts, where's the problem? If you got it like that, just do it and don't put yourself out there for other people's opinions. If it's validation you need, look inside otherwise, someone might strike a nerve. If you've been with him since middle school, then you've known for a long time that he was a loser, so..

Well if he is as bad as you say. I would have him relinqish his right to you daughter. Then he does not have to pay childsupport and he would be out of your life completely. But your new hubby would have to step up and know that if you two ever got divorced that he would have paternal obligations to your daughter that she would noe be His daughter. Hope this helps.

Well, since you have all the facts, where's the problem? If you got it like that, just do it and don't put yourself out there for other people's opinions. If it's validation you need, look inside otherwise, someone might strike a nerve. If you've been with him since middle school, then you've known for a long time that he was a loser, so...........?


I've known my new husband since middle school not my baby's daddy... Well I guess my Question is can I do this without the bio-father??

well if he is as bad as you say. I would have him relinqish his right to you daughter. Then he does not have to pay childsupport and he would be out of your life completely. But your new hubby would have to step up and know that if you two ever got divorced that he would have paternal obligations to your daughter that she would noe be His daughter. Hope this helps.


Yeah I've tried that... like I said he still wants ties with me... I think my baby's daddy just thinks that one day it will work with my daugther... she already has a father that loves her very much and would do anything for her... I just don't want to put a little girl threw a coustidy war... she has my maiden last name, we just want our family to all have the same last name... and my daughter is cool with that...
Don't want to leave her out!!!!;)

Just trying to see how to make this possible the easy way!!

Well, since you have all the facts, where's the problem? If you got it like that, just do it and don't put yourself out there for other people's opinions. If it's validation you need, look inside otherwise, someone might strike a nerve. If you've been with him since middle school, then you've known for a long time that he was a loser, so...........?

She sated she knew her husband since middle school not her daughters father and all she asked was for name change answers, not your opinion about it. :confused:

I recently got married and would now like to change my Daughter's last name to her new Stepfathers. Her Bio-father is not on the birth cert. but does pay child support and has little to no contact with my daugther. We have no set visitation rights with the courts. Is this possible without the bio-father and if so what steps would I take to make this possible?
I have been going through the same thing for a long time and it has to be done in court if he is paying child support for it to be legal. My daughter's father has had nothing to do with her since she was 2 years old and my husband today has been there since she was 6 years old, she is now 13 years old. Just remember any man can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a DAD. So, if she never gets to change her name your husband will always be her DAD. Also I have to add and like you and allot of other mothers know, just because a man pays child support does not mean he cares. He does not have a choice because the courts will take it directly from his pay check and there are allot of woman who now that.
Hope everything goes well for you and your family.

I read your response to CSolis. Nice opinion.

Here's a thought that may not require your daughter's father to have to become involved. Maybe you can hyphenate her last name. In other words, if her birth last names is Jones and your husband's last name is Smith, her new last name would be Jones-smith. That way, she can be regarded as Smith. Contact an attorney or your county office and inquire about it. It just may save you further headache.

You can change names by going through the court. You fill out a form, which you can get off the Internet through your court system's site, and then you pay a filing fee and some other fee and it's done. Any without your husband does not adopt your child, daughte father would have agree. Also, a fee is involved. It best you call the county where you live and find out the procedure. They can help you the best and hopefully supply you with all the info.

I gave my daughter my last name @ birth, because her father & I were no married & that is how my mom did it w/me... We also were not really in a relationship @ the time... Now we have been together 4 yr & it really bothers him that she dos'nt share his last name & were still not married... Her brother has his last name & it is a little weird now that she is in the same school... I need to know how I can change her last name to his... where do I start?? PLEASE HELP

Maybe you can just amend her birth certificate. I don't think you need to go to court.

I gave my daughter my last name @ birth, because her father & i were no married & that is how my mom did it w/me......We also were not really in a relationship @ the time....Now we have been together 4 yr & it really bothers him that she dos'nt share his last name & were still not married......Her brother has his last name & it is a little weird now that she is in the same school......I need to know how i can change her last name to his....where do i start?????PLEASE HELP

I guess you didn' know you don't have to be married for the father's name to be on the certificate.

In order for you to add his last name to your child, the parents can sign a paternity agreement that adds the father’s name to the child’s birth certificate. Then, child can take the father’s last name. You might can go to department that issues birth certificate or through court. I recommend you call your county to find out.

I recently got married and would now like to change my Daughter's last name to her new Stepfathers. Her Bio-father is not on the birth cert. but does pay child support and has little to no contact with my daugther. We have no set visitation rights with the courts. Is this possible without the bio-father and if so what steps would I take to make this possible?
I am totally with you and I think all you would need to do is go to your court house to find out it would be a civil matter to change the last name and then request a new Birth certificate. My husband wants to adopt my son and the bio dad hasn't been in my son's life at all nor has he paid child support so why the hell not. The state we live in though you have to wait a certain amount of time before we can file for adoption papers which is really crazy! But we will get it done. Good luck with the name change!

In order for it to be legal and for the school systems to recognize it and the social security offices to see it you have to actually have it changed on the birth certificate through the courts. It don't just take being married to to change the child's last name anymore :( Trust me I have tried that with the school systems here and they won't allow it. Because his b-cert and social security have a diff last name they go with that.


I guess you didn' know you don't have to be married for the father's name to be on the certificate.

In order for you to add his last name to your child, the parents can sign a paternity agreement that adds the father’s name to the child’s birth certificate. Then, child can take the father’s last name. You might can go to department that issues birth certificate or through court. I recommend you call your county to find out.

In order for it to be legal and for the school systems to recognize it and the social security offices to see it you have to actually have it changed on the birth certificate through the courts. It don't just take being married to to change the child's last name anymore :( Trust me I have tried that with the school systems here and they won't allow it. Because his b-cert and social security have a diff last name they go with that.


If you read my answer I said she might have to go through the court and for her to call her county for the procedures. Secondly, the response was for missy_missy not the original poster. Thank you.

I recently got married and would now like to change my Daughter's last name to her new Stepfathers. Her Bio-father is not on the birth cert. but does pay child support and has little to no contact with my daugther. We have no set visitation rights with the courts. Is this possible without the bio-father and if so what steps would I take to make this possible?
I changed my son's last name when he was a year old. His bio gather was on the birth certificate and we were married. I went to court and asked for both legal custody and physical custody. My ex signed the papers because he knew I was giving up any rights to child support. Also if you live in California like I do you can go file for the name change and just send the father papers stating u are changing the child's name. If he wants to object tell the judge who has been there are you will win. My son is now a Smith like me and I am getting married in June 09 and he will become a Skipper like his new daddy. My Baby met his daddy when he was 1 1/2 years old. Just go to the courthouse and they offer a lot of help there.

I live in California and I went to court and changed my sons last name. According to the records office I am not allowed to change the birth certificate, but social security allowed me to change the name on his card. Having the same last name as my son was the best thing I ever did. I hated going places and the doctors calling me mrs Hernandez... I was Mrs Skipper, but because my son had a different name it made life hell. My husband was called Mr Hernandez and he is a Skipper. My son was the only Hernandez in the family. It was sad the things I went through because my son had a different last name. I say change it even if it is a pain in the . Your daughter deserves to have your last name and your husband deserves to have her as his own. Screw your ex.

I am in the middle of a divorce in California. We keep coming to an agreement, then my ex will have something he wants to control. The new one is adding my last (maiden) name to my now 4 year old son. He has previously agreed, but now is only considering adding it as my son's 2nd middle name. I want my son to have both of our last names as his last name, like Gael Garcia Bernal or the Jolie Pitt kids. I am the primary caretaker, always have been. Only within the last 6 months has the ex been really interested and committed to more time with our son (sadly since we moved 25 miles away).

My lawyer is recommending I agree to the middle name to save time and money. But I'm feeling this is not good enough. I don't want to be motivated by money or fear any more. I had a military record and significant career with my last name. I want my son to have it too, not to take away from his father (as he is suggesting) but honestly to honor both of us now that we are divorced. Also, it would seem a lot easier when for my son to share both his parents names. No confusion at the doctors or school, etc.

Should I agree to the middle name thing for now, just to save the argument and move forward and then file a petition to change his last name? Will the courts more likely agree with the father once it's established? Or just fight for it, as it is incredibly important to me although it will be so very costly (emotionally & financially)?

Unfortunately there are some dads who are wankers he would have to pay child support no matter what through csa. Parental responsibility are two different subjects as I know been through everything to have my daughter if he has no perental responsibility he can't do nothing unless he goes to court and ask for perental rights which will get turned down even if he is paying child support.

Just feeling obligated to pay for a child does not mean that you love a child-how do you call that lying when a loving man wants to take the place of a father that really isn't? Money definitely does not equal love. But if the "father" is paying child support, he may fight it; but maybe he would be willing to sign away his rights? Maybe he loves his money and would be willing to "write her off", since it isn't as though he has a relationship with her anyway. Money talks... that's how my mom got my stepdad to adopt me, just talked to my "father" and showed him the money he'd be saving and the hassles of a kid. Otherwise you can backfire it on him and make him have visitation, and if he is that kind of man, it may put a dent in his lifestyle and he may realize you were right. If he can be trusted-of course don't put your daughter in the struggle of this battle if you think he may hurt her, physically, emotionally, or mentally, in case he actually does decide he realized what all he has missed and decides to try to be a father. If you can't work that out, I feel a lawyer would definitely tell you that if he is paying child support, whether he sees her or not, that he has rights. The law really sucks when it comes to proper parental rights, and this goes both ways, because I have seen just as many men screwed over by hateful, vindictive women as I have men who are just too proud to let go.

unfortunatly there are some dads who are wankers he would have to pay child support no matter what through csa. parental responsibility are two different subjects as i know been through everything to have my daughter if he has no perental responsibility he can't do nothing unless he goes to court and ask for perental rights which will get turned down even if he is paying child support.

Laffin at "wanker"... but unfortunately making "payments" on a child does equal parental rights, at least around here.

Just feeling obligated to pay for a child does not mean that you love a child-how do you call that lying when a loving man wants to take the place of a father that really isn't? Money definately does not equal love. But if the "father" is paying child support, he may fight it; but maybe he would be willing to sign away his rights? Maybe he loves his money and would be willing to "write her off", since it isn't as though he has a relationship with her anyways. Money talks....that's how my mom got my stepdad to adopt me, just talked to my "father" and showed him the money he'd be saving and the hassles of a kid. Otherwise you can backfire it on him and make him have visitation, and if he is that kind of man, it may put a dent in his lifestyle and he may realize you were right. If he can be trusted-of course don't put your daughter in the struggle of this battle if you think he may hurt her, physically, emotionally, or mentally, in case he actually does decide he realized what all he has missed and decides to try to be a father. If you can't work that out, I feel a lawyer would definately tell you that if he is paying child support, whether he sees her or not, that he has rights. The law really sucks when it comes to proper parental rights, and this goes both ways, because I have seen just as many men screwed over by hateful, vindictive women as I have men who are just too proud to let go.

You can't make someone have visitation. And would you really want to force someone that doesn't want to to watch a child?

Laffin at "wanker"...but unfortunately making "payments" on a child does equal parental rights, at least around here.

Correct, parental rights and parental obligations are separate. You have to exercise your rights, your obligations are enforced.

You can't make someone have visitation. And would you really want to force someone that doesnt want to to watch a child?

I was just thinking that if he seen that he could not feasibly have a relationship with the child, that maybe he would let go. Wishful thinking.

I AM GOING Through THE SAME THING - I AM IN NH and the laws may be different but as far as I know he has to be on the birth cert. in nh you have to petition the court to change the last anme. It cost $40.you have to state the reason for the change as well. Then the court notifies both parents in writing of a hearing date - the court will decide if the change should take place. But again - you need a copy of the birth cert and if he is not on it... I would Google "changing a minors last name" then out the state you live in - you should get and answer that way...

I AM GOING THRU THE SAME THING - I AM IN NH and the laws may be different but as far as i know he has to be on the birth cert. in nh you have to petition the court to change the last anme. it cost $40.you ahve to state the reason for the change as well. then the court notifies both parents in writing of a hearing date - the court will decide if the change should take place. but again - you need a copy of the birth cert and if he is not on it....i would google "changing a minors last name" then out the state you live in - you sould get and answer that way....

Him being on the birth certificate has nothing to do with it. He still has rights and changing a name without his consent violates them.