Well I started dancing about 1 month ago to get some extra cash. Within the first week I made an extra $1800 working tues, thurs. fri. sat. and sun. plus I'm still working my day job. I love dancing. There's something so liberating, playful and fun about it. It really makes me feel like a woman.

I figure if I keep dancing I could make 75000+ per year. I can't stop and don't want to stop. But my parents are huge in my life and they know something is up. I'm out so many nights a week until 230 am. I haven't called them and asked them for financial help in a while and my mother noticed all my new stuff in my apartment. I just told her I had been saving. But I can't keep the lie up any longer.

I honestly don't know what would happen if I told them. I don't want them to abandon me or be ashamed. It's really not as bad as a lot of people think it is and I've never been happier.

How do I tell my parents or should I not tell them? How do I keep it a secret if that's the case?

Hmm, this is a touchy subject if you think they are going to be upset...

Is one of your parents more liberal then the other? Maybe think about telling the one you think would take it the best. Get them on your side and have them champion the subject to the other one.

Just another thought... I am not a proponent of lying but, if you live on your own what is any of their business?

Also, you sell the idea pretty well.. You sound like you are pretty sold on the idea and like it a lot. If its something you love to do then why would you be ashamed or care if someone else is?

Or, do you love the money but, aren't totally proud of the actual job? Just asking?

Tell them you've been doing another job which is how you've been able to save.

Trouble is they are going to say... what...

I think if you don't want to lie... once you lie, you have to tell a lie to cover a lie and so it goes on... you just have to come clean.

You don't have to over elaborate, just say I'm doing a bit of dancing for a while just to build my finances up, plus it means you don't have to ask them all the time.

I'm sure once the initiall shock has worn off they'll be fine

Goodluck

Also, you sell the idea pretty well.. You sound like you are pretty sold on the idea and like it a lot. If its something you love to do then why would you be ashamed or care if someone else is?

Or, do you love the money but, aren't totally proud of the actual job? just asking?

I'm definitely not ashamed but I've noticed how people including close friedns have judged me once they know. I do care about what my parents think because they are huge in my life. I couldn't fathim them being so ashamed and mad at me they get out of my life. I know my father is more liberal but I don't know in this case. I mean he's liberal about a lot of stuff but this may be something he hates. I don't know. We've only talked about this subject once. He told me strip club men are weird and he doesn't get how any man could give money to a woman for veiwing something he could have for free. But where does that leave me?

I do LOVE the money but I wouldn't say I'm completely proud. I mean I wouldn't go to church in a shirt that said I get naked for money, but I'm sure a lot of people aren't super proud of their jobs. Ie: abortion doctors, garbage men, janitors, field pickers, maids

I mean there is a time and place to be loud and proud about whatever you do for a living but it just happens to be that my time and place to be openly proud is a lot smaller than say a doctor or lawyers.

Does that make sense? I know I kind of babbled.

Wow this is a tough one.

What's worse.

Telling a lie about a second job, holding in the truth and feeling guilty and worried that they may find out later...

OR

Facing their reaction if you tell them the truth...


Are your parents going to cast you out of their lives and forbid you from coming to their home? Or Will they give you a lecture on how "you were raised better" and tell you they are 'ashamed'?

I think there are different levels of disappointment and I can't imagine any father being happy with this news but at some point, A good parent has to be willing to love through their disappointments, shame, anger or whatever because no one's journey is perfect and everyone has failures (not saying that you job is one, but they may see it that way).

So, bottom line... Sure they may be upset but you know them better than anyone here... Just how disappointed will they be? And can you handle the stress of withholding the truth or Will you feel better living with the consequences of being honest?

It's best they hear it from you then from someone else. Being a stripper is not something that can be kept secret for long because your be surprise who goes and this world is not as big as everyone think and your be shocked as who knows who. What happens if one of your relative let alone your dad happens to wander in to where you strip? Also, since you have a day job don't be surprise if one of your co-worker stops by. Just wherever you strip be safe and don't let the money rule you.

Let me preface this by saying please understand I'm not going to judge what job you choose to do...

But I am confused... per your previous posts you were upset and frustrated being engaged to a man who had porn of young, black women.

You spent a lot of time fretting about a man who controlled you with his being able to pay for things, and wondering if he was a pervert.

Yet you desired a threesome, have shown an interest in being adventuresome sexually, and now instead of being engaged to a man who paid for your schooling and who was attracted to young, black women... you now are OK with strangers throwing cash at a women who is engaged in visual soft porn.

What has changed concerning the "pervert" factor?

I am NOT attacking... just wondering and trying to work this latest development into the grand scheme.

You felt out of control in the other relationship... is it better here because you can fulfill a kind of fetish but still have more distance between the cash and the person?

What about your relationship with your dad? That was touchy concerning the fiancee's connection to him... are you two on good terms?

If you choose to not tell them one of the best things you can do for yourself is still live modestly and actually save that extra cash you are making and invest it. You want to be in control of your life?. invest in yourself, not things.

A 20 year old who is investing half that "extra" money (every other check) for 3-4 years... and then contributes not another penny toward retirement, would have over 700K by the time she's 50 with a 6% return.

So... if you want a way to "defend" yourself from your parents criticism... invest that money as hard and as soon as you can. They might not like what you are doing... but a bunch of cash pushed into investments NOW, over the next couple of years, would have amazing returns due to compounding interest.

Again... I'm not saying it's a good or bad choice. Its yours. But I think money has been an issue in the past... so make it something you control in the future.

Let's see if I get this...
By looking at the questions you ask (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search.php?do=process&showposts=0&starteronly=1&exactname=1&searchuser=chrissymarie) we see that:
- you think your fiancé is a pervert
- he cannot ejaculate
- you want a threesome
- your fiancé dumped you while on vacation
- your new boyfriend's family hates you
- and now you've become a stripper and you wonder how to tell your family

Is this about right?

Let's see if I get this...
By looking at the questions you ask (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search.php?do=process&showposts=0&starteronly=1&exactname=1&searchuser=chrissymarie) we see that:
- you think your fiance is a pervert
- he cannot ejaculate
- you want a threesome
- your fiance dumped you while on vacation
- your new boyfriend's family hates you
- and now you've become a stripper and you wonder how to tell your family

Is this about right?

Ok lets clear the air...

- fiancé was a pervert.
- he couldn't ejaculate because he was smoking pot before sex. Which I later found out
- I WANTED a threesome, out of envy of his and his sexual escapades
- yes he did dump me on vacation (Jerk) after we had been doing couples counseling which he obviously didn't take to seriously
- New guy friend NOT boyfriends family does hate me but I did try to fix my faults
- and yes now I'm a stripper

BTW, thanks for suming up my life so simplisticly and making it look like a soap opera. It's been a crazy year what can I say?

Chrissy... at least you are being honest. Maybe you should just sit down, think about what you are doing with a notebook... each and everything that has happened to you in the last six months. Write down your thoughts (true thoughts) on how you feel about ohhh, 10 decisions you have made. Ten is a lot, but I see 6 already in your previous post. Looks like a "drama" life, some people thrive off it, some love it till it gets toooo heated. Becareful and love yourself. Treat yourself as if you were giving advise to your daughter or your sister or even best friend. Think outside yourself and wonder what you would do if you weren't a stripper and your best friend or daughter were! Just a few thoughts... good luck and be good to yourself!;)

Well I started dancing about 1 month ago to get some extra cash. Within the first week I made an extra $1800 working tues, thurs., fri., sat., and sun. plus I'm still working my day job. I love dancing. Theres something so liberating, playful and fun about it. It really makes me feel like a woman.

I figure if i keep dancing I could make 75000+ per year. I can't stop and don't want to stop. But my parents are huge in my life and they know something is up. I'm out so many nights a week until 230 am. I haven't called them and asked them for financial help in a while and my mother noticed all my new stuff in my apartment. I just told her I had been saving. But I can't keep the lie up any longer.

I honestly don't know what would happen if I told them. I don't want them to abandon me or be ashamed. It's really not as bad as alot of people think it is and I've never been happier.

How do I tell my parents or should I not tell them? How do I keep it a secret if thats the case?
My daughter is a stripper. She left college her junior year of college. She went on night with one of the girls in her dorm. She is hooked on the money. My daughter got upset with me because I told her her boyfriend was nothing more than a pimp. He loves to spend her money. I worry what will happen will he gets tired of her. I asked her if his parents knew what she did. She said no. It almost like an addiction. Think about your life long term. Are you going to finish college? Do you want a family some day? What would you do if your daughter was a stripper?

You said it is not as bad as you think. Wait until you have a customer follow you home and think that you will do anything for money. Then he forces his self on you.


It was your boyfriends touch to smoke pot. But it sounds like his has been masturbating too much. He broke up with you because he could not perform. That was his problem not yours.

Instead of stripping why not work on finding your dream job. Then you would not have to lie to your parents.

Are you going to finish college? Do you want a family some day? What would you do if your daughter was a stripper?

You said it is not as bad as you think. Wait until you have a customer follow you home and think that you will do anything for money. Then he forces his self on you.

Instead of stripping why not work on finding your dream job. Then you would not have to lie to your parents.

Actually I'm not in school. I'm in a interning program at my job that's training me to take over the exports department in another state soon. I do have some japanese classes I need to take and a brokers exam I have to pass though. So schooling will be happening in the future. I am only 19 so I'd say things in that aspect are lining up pretty well.

Someone like me doesn't have a dream job. I never want to work. No matter what it is. And trust me I've given this some deep thought. I'd rather spend someone else's money to be perfectly honest. I know it's sound selfish and immautre but I honestly never want to work a job. Any job. I lose interest in things super fast.

Are you going to finish college? Do you want a family some day? What would you do if your daughter was a stripper?


Also I know plenty of people who graduated college and are doing something that has nothing to do with their degree, and plenty of people who graduated college and can't find a job. So in my opinion counting entirely on college is ludacris. My dad didn't go to college (ever) and is retired currently living on the golf coarse and golfing every day since the age of 43.

No I don't want children.

I have no idea how I would feel about a daughter of mine dancing.

Hello Chrissy:

"Dear Mom and Dad,

If you happen to go to a strip club, don't go into ________ (insert name), unless you want the surprise of your life.

Love,

Chrissy"

excon

My dad didn't go to college (ever) and is retired currently living on the golf coarse and golfing every day since the age of 43. Your successful dad could help you get a job, he must have connections he could use.

Your succesful dad could help you get a job, he must have connections he could use.

He did get me a job. Getting a job is not the issue.

Is the only reason you strip is because it's "so liberating"?

Is the only reason you strip is because it's "so liberating"?

I believe she strip in hopes of finding someone there that would take care of her because she don't want to work. That's the reason she took so much stuff from her ex because he paid for everything. I know strippers and a lot of them starting stripping to pay for school and then quit school because of the fast money. The money ran they life and soon they had to be liquored or did drugs to perform. Only 2 out of 3 of my friends went down hill but for one it didn't. It's not a great life to live but a fast one.

Chrissy, what do you think they will say?

Your 19, living your own life, making your own decisions, and doing what you want. Just be honest with your mom, and tell her, so she can at least know the truth and can have the time to deal with it. Better you, with no stress, than come as a shock, under worse circumstances.

Your grown, so its your life, and as an adult, your actions will either bring blessings, or consequences. Either way, that's for you to deal with.
Good Luck!

Honestly, you don't have to defend yourself against anyone who judges you on a negative level. It just shows everyone how judgemental THEY are and closed minded. If you defend yourself it's like you're saying you're doing something wrong and OWE explanation. We can't presume to KNOW you...

People who "sum up you life" like that either don't have an interesting one of their OWN or sit in their own personal pedestal chair... looking down their noses at all the "wrong doers"... lol!

About your dilemma... It IS complicated. If you lie about having another job it's still a lie, but maybe you can buy some time. If you tell your parents that you're stripping, you might be annihilate from the family. Any lie is a lie. If lying is your choice and you say that you have a rich boyfriend... they may want to meet him. Anything other than the truth is going to catch up w/ you. Especially stripping because that does get out... I mean, what if a neighbor goes in to watch some "sexytime" and BOOM there you are on the pole! (What if this neighbor's wife doesn't care that her hubby watches strippers, and she's aware of his indiscretion, and he goes ahead and tells his wife... and she tells your parents. You are caught!

You really need to think long and hard about which path you want to take in this life. It's easy to take the easy road. That's why it's marked "easy". I think all these complications that come our way in life's journey is there to build character. It's going to add depth to who you are and who you'll become. It's not bad to choose stripping. It's bad to lie to your parents... because no matter how you try you cannot escape the inevitable, IF they should find out. Who's to say they ever will? But make no mistake... this is YOUR OWN journey. You parents can't live your life.

This is YOUR life. You make the rules and choices. Just be SURE to grow w/ every decision you make, every path you change. You're just on life's journey, like the rest of us...

P.S.: Please just be careful. The people that frequent strip bars are not always good people. Sometimes they REALLY ARE the dregs of society...

I don't think anyone was judgemental at all but only gave her their honesty opinons and their thoughts about stripping as you.

Well I started dancing about 1 month ago to get some extra cash. Within the first week I made an extra $1800 working tues, thurs., fri., sat., and sun. plus I'm still working my day job. I love dancing. Theres something so liberating, playful and fun about it. It really makes me feel like a woman.

I figure if i keep dancing I could make 75000+ per year. I can't stop and don't want to stop. But my parents are huge in my life and they know something is up. I'm out so many nights a week until 230 am. I haven't called them and asked them for financial help in a while and my mother noticed all my new stuff in my apartment. I just told her I had been saving. But I can't keep the lie up any longer.

I honestly don't know what would happen if I told them. I don't want them to abandon me or be ashamed. It's really not as bad as alot of people think it is and I've never been happier.

How do I tell my parents or should I not tell them? How do I keep it a secret if thats the case?



Hi Chrissymarie - the way I see it is you aren't doing anything illegal. You aren't selling drugs, you aren't prostituting. You are an adult, you are self supporting and self reliant. People may not like your choice but it's legal and it works for you and nobody is forcing you into dancing. If you were dancing to support your boyfriend I would have another point of view but I know you are not.

Hopefully your parents love you and, while they may not be happy, don't abandon you because of adult choices you make. As far as being ashamed, well, that's pretty much under their control, not yours.

I personally would rather live with the truth and whatever unhappiness that brings than have to live a lie - and I wouldn't want to live, always afraid I'd "slip" and the truth would come out or they'd find out in some other way.

And I trust you are making every effort - as is your employer - to keep you safe from harm.

I am Offended by that! I am a garbage man and there is nothing wrong with it at all! I make a lot of money and I am pround to say what I do! Mostly because of the Money!

I hope that you have an idea of what you feel you need to do at this point. You have a lot of opinions here, (maybe some judgments too, but whatever!), I just hope that it's made things more clear... let us know what you decide to do, k?

Well I've decided to continue the lie and say I have a rich boyfriend... we'll see how this goes. I'll keep all of you updated. Thanks for your help and interest in me. Mayeb I should write a book about my life... by the way the way my fiancé is back!

Just hope dad does not decide to take a bunch of the boys out one night

Is the only reason you strip is because it's "so liberating"?

NO WAY... its mostly because of the fast money.

Just hope dad does not decide to take a bunch of the boys out one night

In that case my dad would be in trouble too. He told me strip clubs are for weirdos and trust me I've picked a club he'll never go to and neither will any of his friends. It's a spanish strip club lol

Chrissy, what do you think they will say?

Mom "why why why??? this is so emabarassing! we didn't raise you to be a hoe! Oh my god? why why why???" and so on

Dad "I'm so ashamed."

So your fiancé is back. How does he like your new job? How rich is he?

So your fiance is back. How does he like your new job? How rich is he?

Fiancé loves my new job, I guess because we both have money now and I wouldn't say he's rich... more like wealthy? He comes from moneyHe also has money.

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