Okay, My fiancée broke up with me about 5 weeks ago and its been quite hard on me. She left me a note and left while I was at work and just left. I was weak and tried talking to her for the first three weeks to no avail, I wish I had read ash's post the day she left!

Now she contacted me via email (after a month of silence) to tell me things were over, saying that she didn't want any contact, she left the way she did because she couldn't handle it, told me the reasons she had for leaving and asked that I don't try and contact her. Of course I email her back while I am all emotional and say sorry too much and ask for a second chance... she didn't respond to that email at all. Then after thinking things through I talked to a friend and she helped me write another email with a clear head. I mentioned that I thought we needed a break as well to get our lives in order, but I didn't know how to ask and didn't want it to be for good.(that wasn't all that was in the email) my ex-fiancee emailed me back saying thank you for your email I will keep it in mind, and then went on to talk about having someone come by to pick up the things she left behind and if I wanted to "trade" for other stuff... the material stuff doesn't matter to me at all.

Now the things she said I did wrong were almost all true. She was really depressed since the year began, and I was worried about her. So when she was at her parents one week I went into her Facebook to see if maybe she told someone what was wrong because I asked her and she said she didn't know. I figured if I could find something I could help her out... well I wound up taking off work and going down there to see her, when we came back home she noticed that I had went through and called me silly , that there was nothing to worry about. Now before she left, she lied to me about something and it didn't make sense to me. She went for a walk and told me she was on the phone with her mother, it was far too late for this to be true. So I checked her phone and she deleted the calls from that night and the texts... I then confronted her about it and she told me she was talking to a friend that I didn't like, I wasn't sure I believed that at the time. So I asked her to prove it to me and then eventually she left.

I shouldn't have done that, and I know it... I invaded her privacy and shouldn't have.

the other stuff she talked about was all small stuff that is easily fixed... but it got me thinking that a lot of this is from poor communication, on both sides.I feel as though a lot of the things I did wrong I could have changed. Actually I would have if she would have sat me down and talked to me about them.

Another part of the equation is that she says she needs to find happiness herself and not expect someone to provide it for her. She needs to work on her life and figure out who she is and what she wants.

Now to the question part... After all of this is there a way to salvage the love we shared? I still love her and want to be with her, eventually. I think right now we both need to get our lives in check before we can be together. I feel like this was a blessing in disguise but am unsure of how things will work out... I don't want to lose her forever but right now I think I need to work on myself.

NC will be a lot easier for this because we live 2 states away from each other now, she moved back home with her parents.

One of her friends told me that she would like to eventually be friends, but I am unsure if that would work for me... her and I have never been just friends, when we first met it was relationship talk off the bat. Is this a good sign?

Oh, I left out ages, she is 22 and I am 25 (I turn 26 this year). I know she is young so that might be another factor...


Okay I have rambled on enough :) any advice/comments would be great. Please realize that I know what I have done wrong and am progressing myself to fix the issues/problems I was having.

edit: I forgot to mention... this was out of nowhere... her and I very rarely had arguments. Two nights before she left she said "I love you so much and can't imagine living without you" not sure if that means anything

also the note she left said "i need time to think about things, i need space. i love you to death but right now things arent working out. i will call u when im ready"...

Wow this is tough..

Yeah you invaded her space, but I feel that if a significant other is doing something where they have to hide it, it can't be good.. maybe she was on her way to cheating on you.. something in the relatinship obviously wasn't working..

All you can do is respect her space and stick with the NC.. give her a chance to miss you, and give her a chance to think about what she's missing.. sometimes relationships need that kick in the behind to move forward..

However, I don't suggest that you wait for her.. the normal thing I see on here is that when a girl says that, she usually doesn't come back.. and it's not fair for you to wait on something that might not be.. sorry if this upsets you, but it's a common thing I see on this site..

Move on and meet other people and try new hobbies.. get yourself busy and when you feel like texting or calling her, go on here and talk to us.. I wish you luck

I don't want to lose her forever but right now I think I need to work on myself.
NC will be a lot easier for this because we live 2 states away from each other now, she moved back home with her parents.

Your on the right track as time away will allow you to put things in there proper perspective.


I know she is young so that might be another factor...


Another factor is your not compatible, feelings notwithstanding. Actually your both young.