Okay, here's the deal as short as possible. My college sweetheart broke up with me a month ago after 18 months because I wasn't treating her right. She has always not been as independent as I usually like, and I recently graduated, started a new job, and she was impeding my growth and limiting opportunities for me by coming into town every weekend. She has a year of school left 1 1/2 hrs away. Most of her friends were gone for the summer so she had no one else to go to but me, and I became tired of spending all of my free time with her (I was missing golf trips, happy hour, etc. with coworkers and was resentful). So, instead of breaking up with her, I was rude to her until she reached her boiling point and couldn't take it. I tried to talk to her about it but it never got better and she was upset because she lacked a large amount of friends.
A break-up is what I wanted at first, but I didn't want to leave her on her own so I stayed in the relationship but hurt her even more by being a jerk.
Now I really feel that I didn't know what I had until I lost it. I still love her and think we didn't try hard enough to fix our problems, we ran from them. She said that the door is still open but she needed time to feel better about herself and be independent. At first I called and pleaded to get back, I knew I shouldn't but it was too hard. I wasn't eating or sleeping right for the first few weeks. She said she had given me a chance before (which she did but it was a break for like a day) and that I just went back to being mean (because I never took her warning seriously).
The break up made me realize I do need to deal with stresses in my life better so I have been going to anger management and working out to release stress in a positive manner. It has worked wonders in 4 weeks. People are already impressed with how much more laid back I am and how good of shape I'm in.
Anyway she is hanging out on her own more now and with my job's travels I think we can work things out and value our time more together.
We didn't talk for a few weeks, after I pleaded with her to stay, and then around my birthday a week and a half ago she started to call and text once or twice and day for about a week. She says that she misses me and always checked up to see what I am doing. She told me last week she was really hurt because I was hanging out with a girl I dated before (we are just friends now), and always makes jealous comments about me being with girls(I guess she looks at my Facebook alot). She is the one who broke up with me and said she considered herself single, yet her and her friends say she isn't with any guys and is just trying to have fun.
I know I want to be with her and only her, and that's what I tell her. Should I stop hanging out with other girls or should I continue to do what Im doing? Im not trying to make her jealous Im just trying to live my life and she knows I want to get back with her. Her best friend is one of my good friends fiancés (who believes I'm committed to getting better and tells my ex of my improvements) , and she told me she was hurt that I was hanging out with that one girl because she believes that we are both becoming better people and will get back together. Obviously if she is upset and so is her best friend, she still must care about me very much and there is still hope we can be together. I have tried to meet with her, and she says she wants to wait till school starts up again (in 2 weeks) because she wants it to be "new". Im worried because summer school is out and it is 2 weeks of nothing but partying while Im down in the city working. I don't know what my next step is. She hasn't called/messaged since Sat night (its monday), I want to get her back but It seems like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. I love her and would take any option to get her back, but I don't know what my best course of action is.
Thanks

Stay the course captain,

Keep hanging out with the girls and enjoying life. She intiatied(sp) the break and she is now complaining about it. As the title suggest she's upset because she wants the cake and wants to eat it.

The break up made me realize I do need to deal with stresses in my life better so I have been going to anger management and working out to release stress in a positive manner. It has worked wonders in 4 weeks. People are already impressed with how much more laid back I am and how good of shape I'm in.


If you stay on this course of healing, and self improvement, you will feel much better about leaving her alone. No Contact is a must for you right now.

I agree, no contact will allow you to heal, become a better you, maybe it will lead back to her, maybe it won't but at least you will be healed and doing well! The contact with her will lead you into the land of confusion

It's an adjustment to break up with someone you love, yes and that's why she wouldn't want you to be with others this early. If we were her, honestly, even if I'll get back to you, there's a great chance that won't have the same flame back anymore. You were jerk, made me feel unimportant and pissed me lot. You were the problem and I just regained what I deserve: peace of mind.

You should just learn from this. Reflect and don't jump into another relationship ahead. Keep NC.

Fellow bloggers, I appreciate this site and all of you who make it possible for us to help others and each other. With that said, I respectfully and whole heartedly disagree with all of you.
I was in a similar situation but did not let it get as far as a break up. I saved it before it was too late and I mean just before. I had my foot in the door and held it there. You are in a very similar situation, but you let it get so far that now you might actually lose her.
She's waiting for you bro, she still loves you and you love her. Don't worry about what happens during the 2 week break. Maintain consistent contact with her, tell her nice things, woo her if you will.
Don't listen to the people that tell you to give up and move on, I sense your relationship is salvagable. When you two see each other for the first time after break, I'll bet both of your faces are going to light up and you'll both remember why you care so much for one another.
Best of luck to you guys

Thank you to everyone who responded, it all helped but I really appreciate your comments Thinker. I couldn't live my life without knowing that I didn't exhaust every resource to try and get her back. The more time that passes the more the void grows. I talked to her last night and she was sick and glad I called and wished her well. Im going to maintain the contact and if it doesn't work, hell I tried. But I have a good feeling it will and Thinker even though you don't know our situation that well what you said really seems like what is happening and what I should do.

I personally think when a girl says she wants space, it's best to give her all the space she wants and more. The more you push her the farther she is going to go. You're free to do what you want, but expect a hefty "told you so" if you end up back on here saying she ended it for good. But I could also be wrong, and if I am, I'll be the first to admit it

Very true, Im not going to press the issue, just try to maintain contact for the next two weeks until she is comfortable meeting up. I really feel like she wants to meet, but she wants to be taken seriously and she knows if she sees me she will want to get back with me.
I already am in better condition and I still understand that this may not work, and Im OK with it. Im not getting my hopes too far up that I can't bear the fall down. Thanks for everyone's help and Ill let you know where it goes. Thanks for all the comments, I have taken all them to heart.