Hello all. As shameful as I am to write this, I need honest opinions.
Please feel free to move this if it is in the wrong category.

I have three little ones... two are in school. The oldest is 10, and the middle one is 6. They start school in the middle of next week. I still have to get school supplies and school clothes for them. My oldest one has her school supplies, but still needs clothes.

I'm not going to be able to afford it all at once. Please keep in mind I have absolutely no outside support at all. Have I tried to pursue it? Yes. Have I gotten anything? No.

Aside from all that, am I considered to be a bad parent? Or inadequate otherwise? Would it be OK if I buy their supplies now, SOME school clothes, but not all-and then make up for the rest of their clothes when I receive my next paycheck (which is in three weeks from today)?

I know this may sound petty, or not that important, but I am stressing out over it badly, I mean I am sick to my stomach, in a constant worry, I'm losing sleep, I don't want to get up out of bed in the morning, I am just so depressed. I live paycheck to paycheck and take care of all of their needs with nothing left over, but this is just something I cannot take care of all in one paycheck.

As I sit and wonder about it constantly, I realize, maybe if I would have just put a little back here and there and saved some, but I have not ever had this problem. I've always had help in the past somehow or another, but now that I am just their sole provider, it's very difficult and heart breaking for me.

Maybe I am just being a big baby, but my mother was always there for my brother and I, we always had things we needed-I just don't compare to her. And now she is gone.
I am just so depressed and it is making me sick-literally.

Anyway-thank you all for taking the time...

TJ

NO I understand where you are coming from been there, done that myself.
I had to go to thrift stores like the Salvation Army and Goodwill for much of my kids stuff.
I also would go to yard sales and flea markets and try to stock up on things ahead of time then in August I would buy what they still needed to get through the fall. During the fall I would buy them what they needed for the winter and into the spring.
I was always behind or couldn't even afford a lot of things they neededso I know how you feel but you can only do the best you can and keep on top of it the best you can so that CPS isn't called over something.
I had 4 kids and lived on approx $1,200. A month and I know it is hard but you have to make up for it by budgeting your money, not buying unnecessary things and finding the best bargains possible.

I don't think things that are outside of your abilities makes you a bad parent. I think neglecting your kids of things that are needed and within reach... makes you a bad parent.

I don't see what's wrong with buying the necessary things for school (paper, pencils, notebooks, some clothes) now and then buying the not-so-necessary things later.

Even if we could have afforded it, my parents did the same... I never had a set of colored pencils or glue or a protractor...

Thanks all-No, my children have never been neglected by me for anything. I would just hate for them to go to school in the same clothes they have been wearing all summer long, I mean, their clothes are fine, it's not like they're all stained up, dirty, or have holes all over them, they're just-not new.

I know there isn't technically anything wrong with that, they're just so excited about having new things, and I think they are going to be upset with me. The oldest one especially. She is a great girl, and by no means spoiled, but I hate looking into their sad eyes when they are disappointed in me. It kills me. They are literally my life.

Sometimes I just feel bad-I don't want them to be made fun of, I don't want anyone in the outside world to hurt their feelings because of something I couldn't provide for them.

I know it's a part of life and its something a lot of us have gone through at one point or another, I just want to protect them as much as I can.

I don't think things that are outside of your abilities makes you a bad parent. I think neglecting your kids of things that are needed and within reach...makes you a bad parent.

I don't see what's wrong with buying the necessary things for school (paper, pencils, notebooks, some clothes) now and then buying the not-so-necessary things later.

Even if we could have afforded it, my parents did the same...I never had a set of colored pencils or glue or a protractor...

LOL... a protractor-that is like the main thing my oldest one needs that she didn't happen to get yet...

Buy them what you can afford now and then next month. Buy them a little every month you can. I felt bad that I could never take them on a vacation or buy them birthday or Christmas presents. They did get Christmas presents but not much from me. My one daughter is the only one of the 4 that resents growing up poor.

... I think those school supply lists are a load of crap. I have a 15 year old brother... that I usually take back-to-school shopping for... and his list usually runs about $60 after everything, and in the end, he NEVER uses all of them. He NEVER used his color pencils, NEVER used his protractor/compass (neither have I... ), and never uses the 6 different notebooks they make him get.

As far as clothing, I don't think the new outfits will do anything for the kids... plus, you said the oldest one is 10... I strongly doubt her friends will even remember what she wore the day before. (I hope kids don't pay attention to things like that at the age of 10).

I suggest, instead of buying new outfits, to buy a new pair of pants to go along with the tops she now has... or buy a new top to go along with the pants she now has... and maybe a pair of shoes. With a bit of mix and matching, you can make new outfits.

I grew up relatively poor as well... we lived in a one bedroom apartment in the ghetto... I wore my dad's clothes (quite... big on my 11 year old body) I specifically remember one incident where our family went on a vacation (we drove 20 minutes) to go to Disney... my parents had scored some free tickets. We got to the gate, and were denied entrance as the tickets were invalid.

... I was 12 at the time, my brother was 4. I can only IMAGINE the heartache they went through trying to pry my brother away from the gates of Disney... only to turn around and go back home.

I never resented them for it, nor will I ever hold a grudge. I know how hard my parents worked and they did what they could to support me... and I knew that if they could, they'd buy me whatever I wanted. Some materialistic things matter, but mostly, it's what you can emotionally give your child. They'll understand.

Oh my gosh, Bless you TJ for caring so deeply about your children's needs. It sounds to me as if your little ones are currently clothed and fed and obviously loved. So please stop beating yourself up over this. Sure, we should "all" set aside funds for different and unexpected expenses, but living paycheck to paycheck, and the state of our economy and prices of everything now, is making it difficult for many, many people to make ends meet, let alone set some aside. (look at all the foreclosures) Especially when only one person is footing the bill for several peoples needs. If you can swing getting only part of the kids clothing and or supplies at a time, do that. Unless they are dressed in literal rags, I would not stress too much regarding clothing. Get a new item, blouse, or jeans, or shoes, etc. every other week if your finances allow that. School supplies are probably/possibly more important at the beginning of the school year, but I personally would ask the children's teacher. Most educators understand that ALL parents simply cannot afford the entire array of items required for the school year at one time, and certainly would suggest you to purchase said items as needed. Again, just pick up one or two items at a time. The teacher should be able to tell you that, yes, pencils are a MUST the first week, but say, highlighters or glue won't be used until next month. The majority of people have, at one time or another, been , or have a loved one who is, currently struggling financially, and will understand your plight. Give it a try communicating with the children's teacher. Oh, and one last note: NEVER compare yourself to your parents. Different set of circumstances, different time, entirely different world than theirs. Strive (dont stress) over attaining positive qualities your folks had and that you admired. But understand that your life experience, situations, etc. are totally different than theirs, and face it, we will never be as wonderful in certain areas as them. (We'll also likely not mimic some our parents negative attributes as well) Keep your chin up TJ. Our kids will get on OK with love and support from us, they don't truly lack as much as we think they do, and remember, wants and needs are two different things. Weigh every purchase that way, and of course allow a few wants, but focus on the needs. Sorry the reply is so long, but I read your post and it made me sad to think a parent was seriously struggling over this "back to school" issue. (So much pressure, I know) Lots of us have been (or actually are now) precisely where you are. You'll be OK. So will the kids. :) Best to you! TSGTDOG

Thank you all so much for taking time to answer. My stomach is feeling a lot better after reading about your experiences (plus a half of a bottle of TUMS).
I just never experienced this when I was growing up. By no means has my family ever been "upper-class", but my mom did her best and we never worried, as kids, about the way society would treat us because she always came through at the right time.
Kids can be so cruel these days and as I stated previously stated-I worry so much about that.

Again, I apologize for being such a baby-I know it could be worse. I just feel like I am being neglectful (not on purpose) and feeling really crappy about it. I just wish there was more I could do.

Anyway-I do feel better, thanks to you all.

Hello all. As shameful as I am to write this, I need honest opinions.
Please feel free to move this if it is in the wrong category.

I have three little ones...two are in school. The oldest is 10, and the middle one is 6. They start school in the middle of next week. I still have to get school supplies and school clothes for them. My oldest one has her school supplies, but still needs clothes.

I'm not going to be able to afford it all at once. Please keep in mind I have absolutely no outside support at all. Have I tried to pursue it? Yes. Have I gotten anything? No.

Aside from all that, am I considered to be a bad parent? Or inadequate otherwise? Would it be ok if I buy their supplies now, SOME school clothes, but not all-and then make up for the rest of their clothes when I receive my next paycheck (which is in three weeks from today)?

I know this may sound petty, or not that important, but I am stressing out over it badly, I mean I am sick to my stomach, in a constant worry, I'm losing sleep, I don't want to get up out of bed in the morning, I am just so depressed. I live paycheck to paycheck and take care of all of their needs with nothing left over, but this is just something I cannot take care of all in one paycheck.

As I sit and wonder about it constantly, I realize, maybe if I would have just put a little back here and there and saved some, but I have not ever had this problem. I've always had help in the past somehow or another, but now that I am just their sole provider, it's very difficult and heart breaking for me.

Maybe I am just being a big baby, but my mother was always there for my brother and I, we always had things we needed-I just don't compare to her. And now she is gone.
I am just so depressed and it is making me sick-literally.

Anyway-thank you all for taking the time...

TJ
It sounds as if you are wanting affirmation that it is okay that you don't have money. Well, it is okay, BUT you need to try to make the most of the money you DO have. Have you ever shopped at GoodWill? If no, then that is the first place you need to go. Many of the items they have still have the price tags on them, brand new. Even most of the used clothing is in very excellent condition. Do you have yourself on any kind of budget? Is there anything that can be elliminated (ie. Cigarettes, liquor, etc).
Where is the father(s)? Have you asked him for help? If he doesn't help, have you tried to file for child support? Just some thoughts.

Buy them what you can afford now and then next month. Buy them a little every month you can. I felt bad that I could never take them on a vacation or buy them birthday or Christmas presents. They did get Christmas presents but not much from me. My one daughter is the only one of the 4 that resents growing up poor.

I feel just like you did. I am sorry for the one daughter resenting the situation-which is what I fear the most...

I'm going to admit up front that I did not read all of the responses before answering. Now, NO you are not a bad parent.

Heck, my children started school last Tuesday and I bought a few clothes for both of them, and school supplies for the little one on MONDAY. Now, I bought little J's school supplies for first grade, he went to school on Tuesday and brought home a totally different list of school supplies. His teacher did not want everything that was on the "global" first grade list from his school. So, I had to go out and return a few things and purchase a few different things.

My daughter started high school and did not have her list until last Friday. So, we went school shopping for her yesterday.

As far as the clothes, I only bought 2 new shirts for my 6 year old. He can still wear shorts until fall break in October. I see no reason to go out and buy new shorts if he can wear the ones he has. Also, I see no reason to go out and buy him pants at this point because he will most likely outgrow them by October. So, his school shopping will be done during fall break.

Like Sneezy or someone said, the school supplies won't all be needed the first weeks. Get the pencils and crayons and glue, but don't worry about the rest. The teacher can clue you in before things are needed. (And I recently read that there's a certain pencil now with a Hanna Montana video attached?? Gimme a break!)

I was the first kid and we were dirt poor. I ended up with a new blouse or new socks or maybe new shoes, depending on what was needed. I never had an entire back-to-school wardrobe. Check out some books at the library--in the kids' department are books on how to make kid jewelry out of stuff lying around the house. Help her make necklaces and pins. Your daughter can wear some unique jewelry to enhance her outfits. She'll be the envy of the other girls.

Be imaginative and creative!

Also an advantage to buying a little at a time is you never know how fast your kids are going to grow within the school year. I remember one year I was constantly buying my one daughter new clothes every three months because she was out growing them way too fast. She grew three sizes between Sept to June.

I do have a suggestion. Here in Canada most of our schools have a program for back to school supplies. People in the community buy extra supplies that are then given out to the children of parents who are having a hard time getting those supplies. Check with your school, perhaps they have a program like that.

School supplies can be expensive, I know that I dread the cost every year. This year both my kids will be in school full time. Here's the cost. $600.00 for busing, $185 each for school fees, around $120 each for supplies. September is when they start school, and their birthdays, August 26 and Sept 4, so more expense.

You are not a bad mother. Some kids have every toy their hearts desire, new clothes, all new school supplies, everything new, whatever they want. Those same kids beg for a bit of attention from their parents. Yes, there's lots of money, but the love and attention, not always. Possessions are not important, time and love is, and you give your kids plenty of that. :)

So, chin up, you're doing your best, and even if they don't appreciate it now, they will one day. :)

even if they don't appreciate it now, they will one day. :)
Good point, Alty. My sons are in their thirties and don't remember buying school suppies and new clothes, but they do remember making times-table flash cards with me and reading their new readers out loud to me and telling all about their schoolday and doing homework at the dining room table with me nearby as consultant (who made them think harder, but didn't answer the homework questions myself).

it sounds as if you are wanting affirmation that it is okay that you don't have money. well, it is okay, BUT you need to try to make the most of the money you DO have. Have you ever shopped at GoodWill? If no, then that is the first place you need to go. Many of the items they have still have the price tags on them, brand new. Even most of the used clothing is in very excellent condition. Do you have yourself on any kind of budget? Is there anything that can be elliminated (ie. cigarettes, liquor, etc).
Where is the father(s)? Have you asked him for help? If he doesn't help, have you tried to file for child support? Just some thoughts.

Well... I think there is only one or two questions in your post that have not been answered already in my original post.

1. We only shop at Goodwill

Ok... only one.

Of course I budget, I never said I was in debt (although one could look at it that way... ), I just don't have enough money for all the supplies that are on my children's list. I just honestly live paycheck to paycheck-all because I do budget. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to make it.

As far as your questions regarding where are the father(s)?

"Please keep in mind I have absolutely no outside support at all. Have I tried to pursue it? Yes. Have I gotten anything? No."

I took that from my original post.

The main reason I posted was to see if there were others that have gone through with this and how did he/she handle it if so.

Thanks for replying! Please let me know if I have left anything unanswered. :)

You are a GREAT mother Mo!! Remember where you were last year and the year before with the circumstances you were in... Just look how far you have come.

I think the back to school shopping, as far as clothes goes, is overrated and makes those that cannot afford Abercrombie or Hollister feel bad. I actually despise this time of year. This is one reason I am an advocate for uniforms in schools.

I see the disadvantages of uniforms too though.
My daughters had to wear uniforms in high school and it cost more than buying clothes at the stores. Also the teachers played favorites and sent some kids home constantly for being out of uniform for stupid little things while they let other kids come to school in tee shirts. My daughter and other girls ended up dropping out of school over it.
It may be the teachers at that school but uniforms leave with very bad memories

I experienced both, in elementary school I had to wear uniforms... hated it. High school got to wear street clothes... hated it even more. Why? Because we were not rich, we did not have money to go back to school shopping. I was made fun of because I was not wearing the same expensive brands as the other kids.

Our uniforms were simple... and they were supplied by the school.

I have a friend who's daughters go to Catholic school. Last year she called me up, all excited because her daughter had won an award for being the best dressed kid in her class. What are we teaching our kids when we put importance on clothing and other possessions?

That is as bad or worse than the girl yesterday that posted about her biology teacher having the class rate each others looks.

I like the point Altenweg made about teaching kids the over importance of the latest clothes and possessions. This goes for parents as well.
For the op, please don't feel you need to buy your kids the latest trends. If you want a few things here and there, fine... another idea is to teach your kids about earning what they want. Maybe give them some extra chores to help "pay" for some of the items that you feel are above and beyond a need.
I'd ask at the school about the supplies needed. Many now consider them optional... as they know not all parents will be able to get them... and, if you have a family with a few kids, it becomes a real struggle! The school will likely have items available for those children who bring only a few or bring nothing at all. Certainly you can purchase things a bit at a time. For future reference, it helps tremendously to buy a little of the common items throughout the year when you see any sales. I often had a few bags of school supplies in a closet to help defray the start up costs for each new school year.
As a teacher myself, I always make sure "my kids" have what they need. If there are additional things I would like them to have for a project or specific subject, I buy them myself. Many teachers will have some money allocated to purchase items for their classrooms, and most purchase many items themselves... especially at the elementary level. Some parents will bring in extra items as well for the class to share. I have never had a student not receive what they needed from one source or another.

You are not a bad mother. Some kids have every toy their hearts desire, new clothes, all new school supplies, everything new, whatever they want. Those same kids beg for a bit of attention from their parents. Yes, there's lots of money, but the love and attention, not always. Possessions are not important, time and love is, and you give your kids plenty of that. :)

So, chin up, you're doing your best, and even if they don't appreciate it now, they will one day. :)


I totally agree with Altenweg, You shouldn't beat yourself up about the material things (clothes etc.)...
If their clothes aren't stained, ripped and ragged then they are perfectly fine and that should be the value/lesson instilled not having new clothes.

I am the oldest of 5 children and I saw my mother struggle to survive and provide for us and although we saw kids with new things and wanted them too but we were fine because we were taught that it wasn't important to have new shoes and shirts if the things we already had were still wearable and fit us properly. It didn't worry us, within the first week of a new school year there were plenty of other things to be concerned with...

My mom instilled this lesson but somehow I knew she still felt the guilt of wanting to give more, I just hope that your children have gotten the message about material things and how they don't make/break you as a person.

How would you feel if you bought your child a used car and they said to you: Well, It drives well and it takes me where I need to go but I don't like the color and my friend has a Lexus, I'd just feel better if I had a new car.

That's the attitude I see here and I just don't want you to have all of this guilt, Trust me I am still amazed at how my mom provided so many holidays and birthdays for us but when she looks back she feels like she could have done more... There's no need to worry when the little ones you don't want to disappoint see the value in all that you do and surely appreciate and love you for your hard work and concern for them.

You are fine and your children are great, Pat yourself on the back and look forward to future successes, don't dwell on your past/current disappointments! After all you are doing everything you can, right?

Good point, Alty. My sons are in their thirties and don't remember buying school suppies and new clothes, but they do remember making times-table flash cards with me and reading their new readers out loud to me and telling all about their schoolday and doing homework at the dining room table with me nearby as consultant (who made them think harder, but didn't answer the homework questions myself).

Wonderful Point, Wondergirl :)

I think it's easy to get wrapped up in being the provider especially for single moms and the guilt is so heavy and blinding that maybe there should be a reminder that the most precious things in our childhoods are priceless... That's making the flashcards like you mentioned, having family game nights, listening to their stories about their school day, sitting to eat dinner together.
Those things are free and really enrich and overcome all other deficits in the end. IMO

Hello again.

Yes, I feel bad for it overall for many tiny little reasons...

One main one I can think of off top of my head is this: My oldest one is 10, She was in school for 3 years before the other one started attending. It was always "easier" to provide for her schooling because it was just her. Also, during that time, I had a support system (my mom), in which, because I was making even less money back then-she would be able to provide anything extra that I could not.

Last year was a struggle, and only by luck was I able to pull off getting all the supplies/clothing they needed without any worry. This year, I am completely on my own with absolutely NO support. I know I can do it. It's just a change that my babies and I will have to get accustomed to.

I spoke to my girls last night and explained that we could only get a few things at a time. They seemed OK with it.

So, again, I appreciate your comments and suggestions. I do feel much better about this situation.

Are the places you are seeking help saying you do not meet the income guidelines because you make a little over the amount they consider poverty?

You are not a bad mom! I stress all the time about getting this or that for my daughter. It's not even September and I have started my hunt for a winter coat!

What you can do is buy what the absolutely need right now (which would be supplies) and maybe one or two outfits to start.
The trick is to be smart about your shopping. There is nothing wrong with goodwill (one of my favorites). I bought a lot of stuff for my daughter at a store called "once upon a child". It is like a consignment shop. I am not sure if they are around your area - if they are, check it out.
I got tired of buying new things just to have them ruined. I go to that store - where they are so very picky about what they take in - and find things that are as close to new as you can get. And cheap!

If you are looking for a way to talk to your kids - easy! Just tell them that everything goes on sale after labor day (which it does) and you will be able to get more for your money. They can get a bigger wardrobe and you can feel better about it all.

Yep everything goes on sale labor day, end of seasons, end of some holidays etc...
I have actually gotten many things on sale in department stores than what the thrift stores sell stuff but you have to catch the right times.
Rummage sales, yard sales and flea markets are the best I can walk away with a paper bag full of clothes for anywhere from $2.00 to $10.00

Are the places you are seeking help saying you do not meet the income guidelines because you make a little over the amount they consider poverty?

YES!!
I make quite a bit over the amount they consider poverty-not a whole lot, but more than a dollar or two. But I absolutely do not qualify for any kind of assistance from anywhere.


I do shop at Goodwill and thrift stores as such- and I budget the best I can, It sucks sometimes, but I'm use to it. (SIGH) If I could just make $100.00 more a paycheck... which I guess would be $200.00 more a month...
Back to reality... maybe I just need to figure out how to be more resourceful...

Even being the most resourceful you can be you still feel way behind but it is worth the effort.

Well...I think there is only one or two questions in your post that have not been answered already in my original post.

1. We only shop at Goodwill

Ok...only one.

Of course I budget, I never said I was in debt (although one could look at it that way...), I just don't have enough money for all the supplies that are on my children's list. I just honestly live paycheck to paycheck-all because I do budget. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to make it.

As far as your questions regarding where are the father(s)?

"Please keep in mind I have absolutely no outside support at all. Have I tried to pursue it? Yes. Have I gotten anything? No."

I took that from my original post.

The main reason I posted was to see if there were others that have gone through with this and how did he/she handle it if so.

Thanks for replying! Please let me know if I have left anything unanswered. :)


Sorry if I struck a nerve, I don't know why you're responding so rudely to me. I read your "question" and responded with a couple suggestions. Quit your "vice", whatever it is, and continue to get money from the kids' father(s). It would totally irresponsible if you do not! I have read some of your previous questions... Are you just looking for sympathy for every little problem that arises? It doesn't seem that you really take anyone's advice into consideration. The people here are taking the time to read what you have to say, and some are stating very personal experiences.

Sorry if I struck a nerve, I don't know why you're responding so rudely to me. I read your "question" and responded with a couple suggestions. Quit your "vice", whatever it is, and continue to get money from the kids' father(s). It would totally irresponsible if you do not! I have read some of your previous questions... Are you just looking for sympathy for every little problem that arises? It doesn't seem that you really take anyone's advice into consideration. The people here are taking the time to read what you have to say, and some are stating very personal experiences.

I apologize if you took my reply as rude, I never ever even felt that way towards your post; therefore, absolutely never intended for you to take my reply as "rude". I do; however, take yours as extremely rude.

I don't care if you think I am looking for sympathy or not, that is your opinion. A lot, if not all of us, come here to ask for advice and opinions and for others to share his or her experiences that can relate. And, just for your reference, I don't feel that anything I have posted about (about me) is considered "a little problem"-otherwise, I wouldn't post anything-which I normally don't.

People from time to time need reassurance or a pat on the back or whatever.
Last but not least, since you took the little time to read through some of my posts, should you have taken time to read through all of them, then you would know that I have taken people's advice and have shared my success with those people as well.

You said:

"Quit your "vice", whatever it is, and continue to get money from the kids' father(s). It would totally irresponsible if you do not!"

This is none of your business, but because you said it, and it pissed me off- I will comment on it. I do continue to go after child support. I have not received anything and will be a long time, if ever, until I will.

Thanks to all who have shared stories and given me encouraging advice. I will take it in stride and am sure that everything will be OK.

I have not read every post but maybe shopping for supplies before hand when their on sale will help ease money spending. I.e in July staple had a good sale on back to school stuff and mostly things was 1¢. I stocked up then because I'll wait until the last minute. The only thing I am happy about is that my daughter wears uniform to school and she have a lot of good ones from last year so I'm only left with buying shirts, tights, and schools. Thank goodness for uniforms, all schools should wear them.

I have not read every post but maybe shopping for supplies before hand when their on sale will help ease money spending. I.e in July staple had a good sale on back to school stuff and mostly things was 1¢. I stocked up then because I'll wait until the last minute. The only thing I am happy about is that my daughter wears uniform to school and she have alot of good ones from last year so I'm only left with buying shirts, tights, and schools. Thank goodness for uniforms, all schools should wear them.

Yes, I agree. As I said before, maybe I should be more resourceful.

I tend to wait for the schoolto send the list of supplies because it tells us exactly what we need for each child according to whatever grade they are in.
Some teachers are really strict, some aren't. You just never know at first.
But I think that you are right. There are some obvious school supplies that they need every year in which I will definitely take your advice for when this occasion arises next year.

I have been through exactly what you are describing... first - my parents later shared with me that us kids (7 of us) never worried and never thought about how difficult it was to make sure all of us had the supplies needed for school, we just knew we had what we needed when we needed them. I don't think there was ever a year we went to school with the whole list of supplies they put out now for the kids - pencils and paper is what I remember having the first day of school and bringing home a list of what else would be needed and about when we would be using these things. Mom also kept a box of all the supplies we brought home at the end of the year... rulers, scissors, etc were pulled out of the box when we needed to bring them to school - we all had a hand in decorating the "School Supplies" box too... and idea I used when my older kids were going through school...

I now work at a social services office. There are agencies here that help families with school supplies. That could be an avenue for you to check into - contact your social services office and see if they have a program to help with getting school supplies for your kids. While you're at it, perhaps there are other programs that can assist you! Doesn't hurt to check into them! The whole purpose for the Social Services offices are to help people! We all need help every now and again.

Goodwill and Salvation Army are favorite resources that I still enjoy tapping into... where else can you buy jeans for less than $5?? Already broken in too!

Good Luck to you, sweet Mama... your love for your children is obvious, you can only do what you can do. Stressing won't make it any easier... it'll just give you a headache and make it more difficult!

I have been thru exactly what you are describing ... first - my parents later shared with me that us kids (7 of us) never worried and never thought about how difficult it was to make sure all of us had the supplies needed for school, we just knew we had what we needed when we needed them. I don't think there was ever a year we went to school with the whole list of supplies they put out now for the kids - pencils and paper is what I remember having the first day of school and bringing home a list of what else would be needed and about when we would be using these things. Mom also kept a box of all the supplies we brought home at the end of the year... rulers, scissors, etc were pulled out of the box when we needed to bring them to school - we all had a hand in decorating the "School Supplies" box too... and idea I used when my older kids were going thru school....

I now work at a social services office. There are agencies here that help families with school supplies. That could be an avenue for you to check into - contact your social services office and see if they have a program to help with getting school supplies for your kids. While you're at it, perhaps there are other programs that can assist you! Doesn't hurt to check into them! The whole purpose for the Social Services offices are to help people! We all need help every now and again.

Goodwill and Salvation Army are favorite resources that I still enjoy tapping into ... where else can you buy jeans for less than $5??? Already broken in too!!

Good Luck to you, sweet Mama... your love for your children is obvious, you can only do what you can do. Stressing won't make it any easier.... it'll just give you a headache and make it more difficult!

Thank you very much! I did go school shopping this weekend, and although my checking account is sad, I did use every single budgeting tip that was offered to me within this thread and received a happy outcome as a result. Thanks to all for your stories and suggestions! :)

The sheer fact that you are worried sick, that you can't provide all in one go for your kids, tells me you are a wonderful parent to your children and how lucky you are to have each other.

Blessyou

The sheer fact that you are worried sick, that you can't provide all in one go for your kids, tells me you are a wonderful parent to your children and how lucky you are to have each other.

Blessyou

Thank you so much.

Your children are lucky to have a parent that cares so much and they will know that. I had a father that worked night shift as a single dad for years. Even after he remarried, he still worked as a single provider. I watched him go to work with the flu and barely able to stand and he still could not buy everything we "thought" we needed. I may have regretted not having everything my friends had, but I never once blamed my dad. From the time I was old enough to understand, I have always loved and respected my dad for the sacrifices he made for us. And I even appreciate the things he denied us because I think that it made me appreciate the little things even more. Now that I am older, I try to give back to my dad, buying for him the things he denies himself! I am sure your children will learn to view your sacrifices in the same light and they will be the better for it. I know it hurts you to not be able to provide them everything they want or think they need but as long as you do everything in your power to make them safe and happy, there is no way you are a bad parent! In fact, you are in a higher class of parent compared to most parents I know!

How is everything going?

How is everything going?


Everything is OK. Things are financially difficult still, however, I know within about two more payperiods, I should be feeling a little bit of pressure off my shoulders.

I have been taking everyone's advice and doing my best to budget at every single thing.

Thank you for asking, I greatly appreciate it.

Not at all,you are probably very good to your children ,a couple years ago when I was living with my mother we didn't have enough money at once to pay off my school stuff.and I didn't mind.they were still wonderful parents to me and my other siblings:)

Why are kids so mean to kids who can not afford name brand clothes?