Log in

View Full Version : Ex boyfriend wants to build a friendship


loveishard
Aug 8, 2008, 06:21 AM
OK well a about 2 years ago I was in a horrible relationship that lasted 2 years..

And me and the guy became emenies...

Just recently we became on talking terms.. and last night he came over my house and began to apologize to me for all the hell he put me through..

He wants to take me to lunch today.. and jet skiing in about a week..

I told him he could under one condition if he sat down and talked with my parents and apologized to them for everything because they pretty much want nothing to do with the kid every time his name comes up theire eyes fill with hate..

He wants to become friends with me..

Any advice from personal experience with this..

Do you think it would be in my best interest not to allow it.. or is it good to give people a second chance..

I'm kind of confused on what to do..
Just cause in the past he showed me he couldn't be trusted...

:confused:



I wonder of people really do changee..

DoulaLC
Aug 8, 2008, 01:37 PM
People can change if they want to... sometimes old habits may creep up, but if they are earnest about making good, they will be receptive to those who try to help them do better.

Since it sounds like it was something pretty major (your parents being upset as well), I'd tread lightly... and let him know that you are. This is of course if you really want to be friends with him? If not, accept his apology but let him know things have changed too much, you have moved on, and you have no desire to be friends. Wish him well and let it go. Don't feel you owe him anything simply because he apologizes other than good manners to accept it. Sometimes people are in your life for a period for one reason or another, but they no longer "fit" later on. The relationship simply runs it course.

Examine your own involvement as well... were there things that you could have done or handled differently that may have effected the outcome before? Have you made any changes if needed?

If you would like to be on good terms, let him know he will have to earn back your trust and that of your parents'. Depending on your age, your parents may get to overrule any relationship if they deem it too dangerous.
If you feel at all uncomfortable at some point, cut your loses and let him know you are no longer willing to take the risk.

You'll know soon enough if he has really changed or not, or if he is at least trying. You may even want a trusted friend or two to give you feed back as well... sometimes it is easier to see things a bit more clearly when you are not in the middle of things.

ISneezeFunny
Aug 8, 2008, 01:43 PM
Along with what DoulaC said, I think that if you do want a friendship with him, and your parents are OK with him, then lunch isn't so harmful. Jet-skiing... on the other hand, seems a bit too involved.

I would also question his motives... as to why he may want to start up a friendship.

AsClOsEaSiTgEtS
Aug 11, 2008, 01:33 PM
Ask yourself... why is he apologizing now?? Is it just a friendship he wants or is he trying to get a hold of your heart again? Find out his motive and cut it down... if its reasonable then luch is a OK plan... but jetskiing... its a no no... too extreme for newfound friends... I mean... what does that say to others... also... you mite want to talk to your friends too... see how they feel about all this.they mite have some good advice.