Hi, I'm new to this site but I am in love with the opinions and advice that everyone gives. OK I been dating this girl for about 3 months, everything was awesome, until around the 3rd month, when we took a trip to orlando. I was extremely mean to her, because she made me feel very uncomfortable. When we got back home everything SEEMED to be back to normal. I was the one in the relationship at first that always had doubts and never really liked to communicate about our problems, but out of no where 1 1/2 weeks after the trip on a Saturday night we talk and things are different, I hear a different tone and I notice she doesn't really want to talk, also the night before that she went to a club with her friend(the friend that told her when she got back from orlando that it wasn't to late to end things with me because we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend yet). So she hung up Saturday early on me and it was just weird, so the next day we talked and everything was fine until that night, and then the same thing happened, so Monday comes around and we don't talk at all, and I call her up around 7 that night and she picks up, and she is crying about how she is having problems with her family and stuff like that, so I talk to her and make her feel better but I ask her if she feels any different for me, and she said no, its just the whole family thing that been making her different, she said she didn't want to loose me. So Tuesday comes and I call her up and all of a sudden she is like a totally different person, she starts talking about how what I tell her is bull and that she has something on me(like dirt) and that she is not going to tell me but she just doesn't trust me.. and I'm like what! Where did that come from, so I ask her if she still wants to do this like continue dating, and she doesn't give an answer, and I was shocked. That never happened, she said she didn't know. So we talked and at the end of the conversation she brought up the whole lets just be friends thing, and that really blew me away, like I never thought she would say that, so I was trying to communicate with her and solve the problem, but she said she just feels different, ever since we went to orlando I just felt different, she said. So I was shocked again, because usually her and I would talk about our feelings and get past that and move on. Then wenday night we talked and I told her how I felt and she was crying and she said sometimes when I talk like that it makes her want to say I love u, so I was like yessss, I gott her back lol but then later that night we talked and then she was like, " we always talk but its like we never move forward" and I was soooo shocked because I thought we were going along just fine, we agreed to take things slow and build a relationship upon friendship. So I ask her is the reason for all this because I haven't asked you out yet and she bluntly said "YES, i mean things would have been different if u did ask me out" and I said well I thought we agreed to wait, and she didn't say anything. She just kept saying that she feels different and that she doesn't know anymore )because of me being mean and making her cry in orlando, she said I hurt her emotionaly), before she was so sure and now she said she has doubts, but I told her that doubts aren't always bad, I had doubts but I worked past those feelings and my feelings for her grew stronger. I told her that she shouldn't give up and that we should work at it but she said things should just flow, she doesn't want to make it seem like we are trying to hard to make it happen ( which I use to say at like the 1-2 month period all the time ). So I was like ooooooooook. So Thursday comes and I call her when I wake up, I call her before I go work out, I call her 2 more times and she doesn't answer, I'm over here freakin out because it feels like she is at the point of like I hope this guy stops bothering me, you know what I'm saying? And I hate to bother someone, I don't want to make it seem like I'm desperate but I just wanted some closure and she wasn't giving it to me, so I decided to tell her I just wanted to be friends, but I really don't want to be just friends, I just don't see us being together right now, and we eventually talked later that night, and I told her that her friendship is more important to me then anything else, which is true ( yet I don't want to be put in the friend zone, that happened to me before and I don't want it to happen again ) so I told her that my feelings have changed as well and that I just want to start things over, take it slow, start from scratch and let things flow, and she agreed, and we had a normal conversation after that, I asked her if she wanted to go to dinner with me and she said how about lunch, and I know that lunch is more of a friend thing and dinner is more of a date thing so I told her breakfast lol, and she agreed. So here's the question after this long and exausting page I'm writing you guys/ladies, how can her feelings change so much in the span of like 12 days, that's question 1, and question 2, do you think there is a chance to get her feelings back even though she said they changed. I mean she really did change me for the better even in 3 months, I learned a lot from our relationship, and take this into consideration, we chilled like everyday and became really close friends. So I'm not hoping anything will happen but what I want to do is get her feelings back for me, even if they come back slowly I want to get them back, do you guys/ladies think that's possible? Or do you think that their is no chance and that once a persons feelings is gone then it's the end of that relationship and just move on.

Hi, vincentescobar!

You've just written a lot in your original question. It sounds like you analyze things and awful lot.

I'm going to ask you a couple of simple questions and would, in exchange, appreciate simple answers.

Why were you mean to her in Orlando?

Have you apologized for the way that you acted then?

Thanks!

You I do analize a lot of things, everything. I was mean to her in orlando for a very dumb reason, because she was way to shy and I never saw that side of her, she basically killed the trip for me because of her shyness, and yes I did apologize, I told her tonight that just because of her shyness I should have never just been mean like that, I should have accepted her for her and gave her the attention she wanted.

Thanks for the response! Do you speak to her using a lot of words like you have in your original post above? Do you read things into what she says?

Please answer simply without a lot of words, okay?

I used to analyze the heck out of things and it would drive my girlfriends crazy!

Thanks!

Yes, but only when we have serious conversations about us, when I tell her how I feel I explain myself completely. I didn't that much but now I do, since we taking a step back I see now that I did take things for granted.

What are some of her basic, simple complaints about your relationship, that she might bring up on a fairly frequent basis, please?

See that's the thing, their were no complaints from her, at all, we just always talked about like where we were at in the relationship, that was it, that's why I was so shocked to hear her say lets just be friends out of no where. She told me she been feeling different ever since the trip and didn't tell me this like almost 2 weeks after. We use to communicate, but she said she got tired of talking about the same thing over and over and that we weren't getting no where, that's also when she said I feel like we are staying still, and that its because I didn't ask her out.

How old are you and how old is she? Depending on your ages and what she might need to do in her own life, she just might need some space for awhile.

Wow that's pretty coo that your good at this stuff because that's what she said, she told me she needs her space to figure stuff out, she is 21 and so am I, she is going to college full time and has a lot of things going on right now in her life so she said this doesn't have to be the end, she said she is not saying we will get back together, and she isn't saying that we won't get back together, she said we will just have to wait and let things flow, and I totally agree, but I want to know if its possible for her feelings to ever be as strong as they were in the beginning.

Thanks for the compliment! Much appreciated!

Her feelings might still be as strong as they were in the beginning. It's just that now, her focus on what she needs to do for herself might be different.

How many different women have you dated in your life?

No problem, but ummm not to many their my friend lol, she was the only one basically, the only real one should I say.

Answer is coming. It's lengthy. Please be patient...

Thanks!

Then, I would suggest leaving your options open. She may not be the one for you in the long run. But, maybe she will be. Nobody really knows... Please leave your options open. Dating one or many people at the same time, really is okay! "It pays to shop around", especially concerning thing that will affect a person's life for a very long time!

I really do know about the awful feeling that we get in our guts when we are really attracted to someone and really care about them. It hurts!

When I was your age and in college, one of my goals was to date as many women as I could. It was almost a game for me. But, you know what? It may be the best thing to do. If you're not all that experienced at dating and getting intimate with a woman, then why not explore the possibilities?

There is an old saying about the possibilities as far as the person with whom you might eventually have as a life partner. It's "There are many fish in the sea." At your age, the both of you are going to be exploring and experiencing so many things that will influence the way that you think as well as the choices that each of you makes for each of your lives. It could be that you will be just the right person for each other. It could also be that you will be "forever friends". It also could be that you will simply part company with each other because you will have "grown apart". Emphasis is on the word "grown" here.

I dated many, many women when I was your age. I have also been greatly in love with some of them and they also with me. There were at least three or four of them with whom, I'm sure they and I had thoughts that being together for life was a definite possibility. But, for one reason or another, things just didn't work out. Is it okay that I am still in love with some of them and they with me? Yes. Does that mean that we could possibly still be friends even though we might find someone else who might be more suitable as a partner for life? Yes.

As already mentioned, but for one reason or another, things just didn't work out...

Open communication, give and take and understanding the needs and wants of another person are paramount to having a meaningful relationship whether it be for life or just a short time.

There will be many people with whom you will cross paths in your journey in life. I don't know what your persuasion is as far as what you believe in concerning there being a possible hereafter for all of us. I do respect what views you might have concerning that. But, I would like to present to you what I believe in the hope that it might help you. I don't believe in luck. I believe in having faith in God. If we have faith, how can there be such a thing as luck? I don't believe that anything happens by accident if one has faith in God.

There are many fish in the sea...

There are many possibilities to be explored...

Please don't be afraid to check them out!

I do hope this has been helpful to you!

You tried, and it didn't work, now its time to move on. Leaving her alone and getting on with your own life. Yes we can change our minds, and our feelings, at the bat of an eye, and a year from now, change it back. That's what humans do.