View Full Version : Is it over
confused63
Aug 7, 2008, 03:29 AM
Just about 4 weeks ago I confronted the man I've been sleeping with about the other women in his house telling me how she's his women, engaged to him etc... What I got no one should have gotten. This man proceeded to curse me out like a dog in the street as though I never meant anything to him. Told me things like stay the F away from him and leave him the F alone. Well I felt so disrespected and embarrassed that after all the time we spent together that this was the way he felt he needed to speak to me.
That was a month ago and I haven't heard a word from him. Not even an apology for how he spoke to me not anything. How cruel could someone be? I've spoken to other people about this and they believe that he will contact me some where down the road in the future but for what reson. He just cursed me out told me to stay away and to leave him alone which I have done and will continue to do so why try to come back? Which I do know that most of them do when they realize what they don't have anymore. Can some one shed some light on the why he would even consider coming back?
tickle
Aug 7, 2008, 04:15 AM
If a man spoke to me like that, I would be scared out of my wits and run the other way. Hopefully never to hear from him again in this life time.
Need I say more ?
confused63
Aug 7, 2008, 04:37 AM
I am more in a state of shock than scared that after 4 yrs he would feel the need to speak to me this way when all I was ever guilty of was treating him well.
Romefalls19
Aug 7, 2008, 04:52 AM
You were obviously the other women, who didn't mean much to him at all. Which is why he tossed you away like yesterday's trash. Lesson learned: Stay away from guys in relationships, obviously they are spoken for
kaseejo
Aug 8, 2008, 10:53 PM
This man is obviously emotionally and verbally abusive. If he has done it to you, in all likelihood... he has and will do it to other women. HE has "issues" that you cannot help him with. He probably doesn't WANT help! Be glad you got away... Hope that you don't hear from him because it would be to see if you are "weak" enough to let him abuse you again... It's not about love. Even a true FRIEND, will treat you with more respect. Work on yourself esteem... I know... It's HARD! EXPECT more and don't SETTLE... you don't have to! Move on... life is too short and precious to accept being treated as he treated you. I know it was hurtful... so why would you WANT more?? Think about it! Value yourself and don't "settle" for less than someone who respects you... not as a friend, date, lover or soulmate! Be strong and look ahead!
hjpan
Aug 8, 2008, 11:03 PM
Find his weak point and aim for it.
JBeaucaire
Aug 9, 2008, 02:12 AM
Can some one shed some light on the why he would even consider coming back?If he wants some sex and your name comes to his mind again, he may fake an apology to try and score. Other than that..
He was treating you honestly when he cursed you out. It was honest. It was how he really felt. All the niceties that came before were false. THAT moment was real, and it is the only one you need to remember.
It doesn't matter if he ever tries to come back to you for any reason at all, even to offer an apology. Remember that scene, remember his words and how freely they flowed at you. Do you REALLY think an apology makes up for that kind of venom?
He did you a favor, you're free to hate his sorry butt, then forget him, quickly, altogether. Be grateful. You truly dodged a bullet with that guy.
talaniman
Aug 9, 2008, 07:34 AM
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search.php?searchid=3065535
You can end all this drama, and speculations by loving yourself enough to cut him from your life. Let him cheat, and get his booty call somewhere else.
Your in shock, but that will pass, and you will clearly see a better path without him in your life.
Don't let him contact you at all, or you'll get more of the same.
dlatino
Aug 9, 2008, 07:42 AM
Just about 4 weeks ago I confronted the man I've been sleeping with about the other women in his house telling me how she's his women, engaged to him etc... What I got no one should have gotten. This man proceeded to curse me out like a dog in the street as though I never meant anything to him. Told me things like stay the F away from him and leave him the F alone. Well I felt so disrespected and embarrassed that after all the time we spent together that this was the way he felt he needed to speak to me.
That was a month ago and I haven't heard a word from him. Not even an apology for how he spoke to me not anything. How cruel could someone be? I've spoken to other people about this and they believe that he will contact me some where down the road in the future but for what reson. He just cursed me out told me to stay away and to leave him alone which I have done and will continue to do so why try to come back? Which I do know that most of them do when they realize what they don't have anymore. Can some one shed some light on the why he would even consider coming back?
I believe that u shouldn't be hurt for the one that cried for u. swoar he loved u but at very first instant left u for another.. because the one that leaves without been trown out will come back witout been call
confused63
Aug 9, 2008, 07:47 AM
I BELIVE THAT U SHOULDNT BE HURT FOR THE ONE THAT CRIED FOR U. SWOAR HE LOVED U BUT AT VERY FIRST INSTANT LEFT U FOR ANOTHER.. BECAUSE THE ONE THAT LEAVES WITHOUT BEEN TROWN OUT WILL COME BACK WITOUT BEEN CALL
So are you saying that this man will eventually come back?
hjpan
Aug 9, 2008, 07:51 AM
So are you saying that this man will eventually come back?
No.
0rphan
Aug 9, 2008, 09:03 AM
Sounds like aguilt trip to me... he's been found out and you've confronted him ( good for you ) and he's re-acted in the only way he knows how... mouthed off... like some one who'd been cornered, there was no defence for his actions or treatment of you, and he new that, so it was all about self preservation... rant, rave until you go away, and you did.
Confused I am so sorry you had to go through that, when he comes crawling back, don't even entertain the idea of what ever he promises you, he'll be lying... move on meet someone who will give you the respect and love you deserve.
Goodluck
bigdee
Aug 9, 2008, 10:05 AM
So are you saying that this man will eventually come back?
It's possible. Maybe if that other woman leaves him and he wants to try to come back to hook up with you or whatever.
Whether he does or not is not important. What IS important is that you remember how crappy he treated you and that if he does come crawling back you slam the door in his face without a second thought!
N0help4u
Aug 9, 2008, 01:05 PM
Just about 4 weeks ago I confronted the man I've been sleeping with about the other women in his house telling me how she's his women, engaged to him etc... What I got no one should have gotten. This man proceeded to curse me out like a dog in the street as though I never meant anything to him. Told me things like stay the F away from him and leave him the F alone. Well I felt so disrespected and embarrassed that after all the time we spent together that this was the way he felt he needed to speak to me.
That was a month ago and I haven't heard a word from him. Not even an apology for how he spoke to me not anything. How cruel could someone be? I've spoken to other people about this and they believe that he will contact me some where down the road in the future but for what reson. He just cursed me out told me to stay away and to leave him alone which I have done and will continue to do so why try to come back? Which I do know that most of them do when they realize what they don't have anymore. Can some one shed some light on the why he would even consider coming back?
Yep that is the way the other woman thing works. You confront him and blow his lie in front of his woman YOU WILL get cussed out and treated exactly as you did... thats what being the other woman is all about in the long run.
Don't hold your breath waiting for an apology cause you ain't going to get it. He is looking at how you dissed his discretion.
You were tossed away and if he wants to cheat again he will find somebody with more discretion. If he wanted you more than her he would have left her for you but he didn't... so why would you want him back??
IF he does contact you you need to
EITHER
Slam the door or phone in his face
OR
Tell him he severed all hope of being with you... why would you want to compromise yourself and your integrity and take him back?
Lovelee
Aug 9, 2008, 02:08 PM
So are you saying that this man will eventually come back?
Why would you even want him back after that?
I once had a boyfriend who cheated and when I confronted him about it he got angry and defensive just like that. He called a couple days later to get back but he saw a side of me he wish he never did. The more I pushed the more he pursued. Eventuallly he got the message and gave up, the fact that he wanted me back made me get over him a lot quicker.
Don't let this man back into your life, he will only hurt you again.
Ash123
Aug 9, 2008, 02:39 PM
So are you saying that this man will eventually come back?
As is often the case, this is not about HIM it's about you.
Since anyone looking at this knows you shouldn't even be thinking about taking him back, the question is why do you care? Well, why not - you are human and you:
1. had your heart broken
2. were lied to
3. were treated violently and disrespected
4. you are mad another woman could be in the middle
BUT
The question is do you want him to come back?
If so, may I ask what your family was like growing up? Did your parents stay married?
Did anyone ever yell in the house?
The goal here is to wipe this guy out of your life. Consider a few months of counseling. If you do not have the money for just anyone therapist talk to a woman's shelter and seek their advice. I know you don't want to be alone on this, but you need to start healing. That guy is history.
talaniman
Aug 9, 2008, 04:38 PM
Can some one shed some light on the why he would even consider coming back?
Well for one hethinks you will fall for anything he tells you so why not? He thinks you're an easy target. Are you??