I can't organism when someone fingers me but I can organism when I finger myself. When my partner does it to me it feels good in the beginning then when I feel like I'm about to organism it starts to hurt. I even try to guide my partner but it all feels the same and then I just have to pleasure myself. We don't understand why?

orgasm . That's the right spelling of it. Anyway, how many partners did that already to you? I just think that your guy/guys weren't/wasn't just able to hit the right spot to make climax. Some guys aren't just good at it you know.Just relax, enjoy the ride, no pressure and teach him little by little where to please you. If your head is consumed by guiding him all throughout, you won't enjoy the act.

Your boyfriend is totally goal oriented, and maybe you are too! :)

Refocus on feeling pleasure, not on groping genitals. :D

Its just when he fingers you? Does it happen during sex? Maybe you shouldn't let him finger you anymore. Maybe you should show him how you like it, close your eyes like he's not even there, and go to town. He will loose his mind. Or you can coach him through it, don't talk just guide his hand like it was your own. I think that whole finger thing isn't really that good unless you do it yourself. The only time I would suggest a finger is if your doing it to yourself and letting him watch. He will freak out and the sex will be mind blowing. If your not that comfortable to just up and show him how you work then you should stop doing it. Try something new.