Hi,
I hope I explain this somewhat clearly. I have been together with someone for 10ys.
It's a great relationship, we are both deeply in love. We could not wait for the future to arrive and begin. Although there have been difficulties in seeing each other (time) we always confirmed to each other what the outcome would be. And that would be to live together, get engaged, get a house and possibly start a business together. While we have been going out she has been pursuing her life long dream in the entertainment field, long before she met me. She does have a couple kids a family member. She struggles and I try to help her finacially the best I can. She does not live with me. Well, I did get engaged to her approx. 1 yr ago. It felt so right for me to do this at this time. After the engagement we spoke about getting a house together. We decided on a month to look. Well when that month came around she asked me If I was ready and I said not right now. Meanwhile I have been getting everything together to surprise her. I was going to just pick her up one day and start looking, something she has never been apart of. Well when I told her I was not ready at that point she thought I was not serious and decided to put all her efforts into her career. She stopped returning my phone calls etc. I had no idea until later that was the reason. Well now she needs time to figure out what she wants to do. She feels she cannot do both. Although she says she does not want to break up with me , she says she just needs her space and time. Well even after I told her my intentions I still did get the same answer. I tried flowers for approx a mth. calling her constantly, which was probably the wrong thing to do. I do not want to lose her she is the best thing to happen to me, to sit back and wait is driving me nuts. Any good advice would be appreciated

The best advice I can give you is to give her the space she needs. 10 years is a very long time to be in a relationship with someone, and maybe at this point she probably feels hurt. I would calm down on calling her for a while.

Set back and just let the tide roll... you'll be surprised what it'll do for you. I'm having to give my girl some space too, and yeah it sucks; but I know that she's going to come back to me when she's cleared her head. Just take some time and focus on you for a little while... I'm sure after 10 years there are a lot of things that you would like to do for yourself for a change.

I'm going to try and put this into a lingo for you. Would you stick around in an investment you made that was yielding no return? Of course not... That's what she did, you were engaged and planning to buy a house. When the time came to honor your word, you decline which told her that you weren't ready for the commitment. So naturally her interest in the investment has went down and she decided to leave the stock.

She does have a couple kids a family member.

What? She has kids with a family member? I'm a bit confused by this.

Are these your children? How old are they? If they aren't your kids and you've been together for 10 years, whose kids are they?

Some inconsistencies in your story, care to clarify?

Sorry, they are her children from a previous marriage. There ages are 17 and 20 and her mother lives with her. I was to buy a house for all of us.

Thanks for clearing that up, it didn't make sense. :)

As for your situation, I have to agree with Romefalls, when you told her you weren't ready she assumed that you did not want a commitment and did what she had to do to survive, concentrate on her job.

Talk to her, tell her how you feel, that's the only way to resolve this.

Good luck. :)

I originally wrote, she does want to break up with me. I have since corrected this.
When I ask her do you want to break up with me she says she does not, but that she is very confused.

To lose a female after 10 years, over some BS, would be a darn shame, so make sure you unconfuse her, whatever it takes, and don't wait for the right time.

You talk, she listens, and it better be good.

Well,approx. a week ago I talked to her and in that conversation I offered to give her space, she then said we need to talk and she will let me know when. It's been a little over a week now and I have not heard from her. I'm going to try and contact her one more time to initiate the talk. I'm very confused because she says she does not want to break up, but then I don't hear from her.

NO NO NO... do NOT initiate the talk, she wants space continue giving it to her. You will only push her away

we need to talk and she will let me know when.
Rome is right, wait for her to contact you.

Hi, This has been a great forum.
Well, it's been apporx. 2 weeks since I heard from her. At what point do I ask for
The engagement ring back? And yes I definitely do want it back if this should not
Workout, along with some other items. Also, she probably will not return any phone
Calls so I'm not sure what the protocol is. Or should I give this more time. I don't want
Our relationship to end but, this cannot go on forever.