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View Full Version : How to have a relationship with a selfish guy


michellemichellemichelle
Aug 6, 2008, 03:45 AM
Im seeing this guy who I think a lot about but by his own admission he is very selfish, he's actually said to me he needs to find a women who he thinks more about than himself. He has a very busy life and to be honest I sometimes wonder if there is room for me in it. I like him a lot and do not want to loose him but Im just not sure how to handle things with him. I don't want him to think I am a doormat but on the otherhand I don't want to put him off by putting too many demands on him. Im quite happy for things to carry on as they are between us and Im happy to fit in with him but Im scared of losing him as I feel he will tire of me. He doesn't ring or txt me on a regular basis but that's find because it keeps me interested and on my toes but how do I keep him interested, should I contact him more often or play it pretty cool like he seems to do with me.

NeedKarma
Aug 6, 2008, 04:47 AM
How does someone who ignores you keep you on your toes? I never understood that. I don't see the upside to this relationship, looks like you are setting yourself up for hardship.

I also noticed that you have asked a lot of questions on this site. You have gotten a lot of good answers including people asking you for additional information but yet you never post again in your own threads, why is that?

tamquest
Aug 6, 2008, 04:53 AM
Sweet tell him about you feeling towards him... and then see what he have to say trust me if you really love him to the core then there always way for a true love

Just leave it on time and have faith in yourself don't break down... I know it hard but then you have to give sum space for yourself... you be happy and no one can stop you from loving him your not losing himbut then he is in your heart

Take care

Godbless

michellemichellemichelle
Aug 6, 2008, 05:37 AM
How does someone who ignores you keep you on your toes? I never understood that. I don't see the upside to this relationship, looks like you are setting yourself up for hardship.

I also noticed that you have asked a lot of questions on this site. You have gotten a lot of good answers including people asking you for additional information but yet you never post again in your own threads, why is that?


I know it doesn't make sense someone ignoring me keeping me on my toes, but I guess it's a case of wanting the unattainable. I think the saying treat them mean keep them keen is probably quite apt in my case.

I do ask several questions on here and find it very helpful listening to other people's opinions.

N0help4u
Aug 6, 2008, 08:27 AM
He sounds like the typical guy I run into. At first they seem like so intriguing but then as time goes by you realize that you are at the very bottom of their priority list. Then it gets boring and just down hill from there. You get to the point of the same feeling as feeling isolated in a crowd. If you can't get his attention and get up on his priority list you might as well hang it up and find someone else that can appreciate you more. Yeah he says he appreciates you but it is HIS idea of appreciation and what love is. In reality he is quite likely just as happy with a mother figure as he is with a girlfriend.

0rphan
Aug 9, 2008, 01:08 PM
Michelle I know you love this guy but it seems to me it's all one way... why bother... you sound an intelligent girl, he's just grinding you down.

I know it will hurt in the beginning but please go and find another guy... and there are many out there... who will cherish and love you every minute of every day and spoil you rotton.

Blessings

cocatigress
Aug 14, 2009, 04:21 AM
Well.. Michelle the answers are true to a certain extent, however, I am just starting to date a guy who is a very busy man.. I already have a connection with him. Keep God first and trust Him with all your heart and He will give you the image of the type of man that you want. If it IS this particular guy, the wisdom to keep his interests won't be hard. You have to be secure with yourself and love yourself to KNOW that when you met him he was a busy man and he is goal oriented and he wants things out of life... which means the first place to get to their interest starts in the most intimate place... their mind.. keep them thinking... keep busy... keep busy thinking... lol... find things you like to do. Guys with a busy schedule love a woman who has her own thing going on and not trying to be what appeases them so much. That is annoying to them! With their busy lives, they want to have a relationship and family, but they have gotten so caught up in their dreams and aspirations that it becomes their 'wfie' because it brings joy in the outcome. Their goals are what drives them to get out of bed because they are seeing the progress. So, in essence you have to become in his mind, if you want to continue with him, like his goals... not needy, but intriguing, and a wonder, and how much time it will take to be truly invested in this person. The guy who I am just starting to date is a comedian, works ALL the time, and trying to open his own business. He is EVERYTHING I want in a man, for my children, and for myself... and I truly believe that it will work. He came out and told me he is a little selfish right now because he wants to give the same time to his family in the future as he does his business, he is about committing to something and keeping with it. I love that. Let me explain something to you though, it is not about him, IT IS ABOUT YOU. When you make yourself happy, you make him happy and the man that is supposed to be there will add at all times and not take from you.. the only thing I want him to take away from me is my breath :o) So take osme times and jot down on a piece of paper, weigh your pros and cons, pray to God and it will all work out for you! I promise!

Jake2008
Aug 14, 2009, 07:15 AM
This guy isn't just busy, he's self-absorbed!

At least he's told you up front that he comes first, you come second.

I think he knows exactly how he wants you to fit in. When it is convenient for him. He isn't including you in his life, he's scheduling you.

If you want to be second fiddle in a relationship, instead of an equal, then this man is for you.

If you want a relationship that has the priority of both of you being eachother's #1, then move on.