I have been in a relationship for almost a year. When my boyfriend and I first started seeing each other it was based on one thing. He made it perfectly clear to me that he didn't want to settle down but he wasn't promiscuous. So, we started dating. One thing led to another and I fell in love with him. We worked for the same company. He was going out of state for a seminar for work and our boss had told me that not to get involved with him because he was going to go see his ex girlfriend while he was out of town.

Well he didn't end up going to go see his ex because of travel arrangements. So, I continued to see him, knowing that he was still not over his ex, because I am not promiscuous and we have a great sexual relationship. So, time went by and I broke up with him because I knew that I deserved better than him. Then we would get back together because I would always go back to him. He acted like he wasn't losing anything when I would break up with him and he wouldn't call or anything to try to get me back. So, I don't know why I always went back.

Well, one time when we were separated I found out I was pregnant. I called him to tell him and he had gotten back with one of his exes. I told him that I was going to have an abortion because I already have one child who I am raising by myself with no father figure and I didn't want to bring another child into this world like that. So, he told me not to have an abortion and broke up with his ex and got back with me because of the baby. When we got back together he accidentally called me the other chicks name one night.

About a month later I had a miscarriage. I was in another state on vacation when it happened and I told him over the phone. When I did he said that he was probably going to be moving to another town about 6 hours away. So I came back and things were different, which I knew they would be because he only got back with me for the baby when I told him not to.

So, I finally got tired of feeling like I was nothing to him and I was finally ready to move on, so I broke up with him. I set up a date with a friend of mine who had been trying to date me the whole time I was with my boyfriend. I was going to give him a chance because I had finally found my worth and knew I deserved better.

The next day my boyfriend got fired from his job, (which I got fired from months prior because we were dating) and asked me to give him a ride. He needed to get some things from my house too. This was the night that I had the date with my friend. He ended up finding out about my date with this other dude and started asking me if he was that easy to get over. He is older than me and I never really told him how I felt about our relationship and how I never felt like he really cared.

Well, that night I did. I told him everything about how I thought our whole relationship and how I know that he never really cared about me and that he was still hung up on his ex and that I needed someone to love me and my daughter and what I thought my worth was and how I deserved better than him. He drank a lot and I told him how I hated that. I finally told him how I felt. He then told me that he loved me and that he didn't want to lose me and that he just realized how much he cared for me when he found out that he was going to lose me to someone else.

Now he bends over backwards to make me happy and to take care of me and my daughter. He has quit drinking and has made some major changes to show me that he loves me. It has been about 6 months now and we just moved in together. He tells me he loves me everyday and puts me and my daughter before anything. He comes with my to my family functions now, before he never even wanted to meet my family. He has told his mom all about me.

I just can't get over the way our relationship first started though. Sub consciously I think about him and his exes and about him calling me his exes name. I just keep trying to push him away now because I don't want him to break my heart. I was thinking about breaking up with him a few weeks after we moved in together and he begged me to tell him why and not to do it. So, my question is: Does he really care about me or is it just convent for him to be with me because he broke up with his ex to get with me when I got pregnant and now she doesn't want him back? He told me that the weekend with his ex was horrible and they fought the whole time, but how do I know that is the truth? Advice is needed because I am tired of racking my brain with all of this. Thanks.

I too tend to try to defend myself, too much though. I think the best thing to do is to judge a relationship for what it is not what it was. When I get frightened because of commitment I look for any excuse to end it and to not get hurt. I have recently realized that by being so scared and protective that I have not allowed myself to enjoy the good. I am always trying to protect myself not enjoy the moment. Trust your gut until he gives you reason to question him and stop worrying so much!
"It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all"

This thing has been over for a while, and whatever it is you expect to happen won't. There is no caring, sharing, or communications, so of course your not working together for a common goal, because there is none. See it for what it is, friends(?) with benefits, Naw, comfortable strangers and part time sex partners is more like it.

Whatever it is its not healthy, or good for either of you, and nobody is mature enough to see that, and give this dead relationship a decent burial. At least the sex was good.

This thing has been over for a while, and whatever it is you expect to happen wont. There is no caring, sharing, or communications, so of course your not working together for a common goal, because their is none. See it for what it is, friends(?) with benefits, Naw, comfortable strangers and part time sex partners is more like it.

Whatever it is its not healthy, or good for either of you, and nobody is mature enough to see that, and give this dead relationship a decent burial. At least the sex was good.


That is what I was thinking. I moved out of his house throughout the past two weeks. He keeps telling me that he loves me and blah blah blah, but I can't live like that anymore. We were communicating but we were fighting and blaming each other for all the negative stuff that happened throughout our relationship. So, I decided that I deserve better and I am doing fine with out him. Thanks for helping me open my eyes!