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View Full Version : Should I stay or leave


tcage
Aug 4, 2008, 09:09 AM
I have been married to my husband for 9 years and we have 6 kids. 1 deceased, 3 together and 2 kids from a previous relationship. I have really been dealing with his infidelity lately. 2 years ago when I was pregnant with our last child we fought about why I couldn't give him a son he had all these girls and I used to tell him God blessed you with these girls to teach you how you should treat a woman. So I am 6 months pregnant and this is right after we just buried our daughter and I get a letter in the mail of some women suing my husband for child support for not 1 kid but 2 and I am so devastated so I call him and he says he has no idea what I am talking about and brushes me off and me being naïve I say well you better call these people well you know my hear is not sitting right at all and so I am wrestling with this and as time goes by he tells the people these is not his child and that he needs a blood test. And as time is going by I am about to leave to go to New York and I hear in the streets that the test has come back and that he has made the comment that these is his kids and so I am devastated so I come to him and I say is it true so he says Bay you know what I am not positive if the first one is not mine but I know that second one is not mine and I felt like I had died and then I thought okay but we were separating because he got caught cheating but then I thought that makes no difference because I put him out because of cheating and he crying to me saying he want me so I went on vacation cause I needed that and came back and when I did I told myself I am not going to be right until I find out the truth at this point I know we having a boy so I tell my best friend and my sister I am going to this woman house on Thursday cause I need to know the truth and God must not have wanted me to know cause I went in labor that Wednesday so my sister and best friend took it upon themselves to go and when I go the call in the hospital and they said the youngest one looks like him but the oldest looks like her my whole world had crashed and I realized that my life and marriage was over. Here it was he was complaining about a son but he already had 2 he said he didn't know about it until after they were born. When I left the hospital and spoke with her she stated that she was sorry and that they only had sex when he was drunk and that the only reason she sought child support was because she got assistance and they made you because I asked her you wanted 4 years because the oldest was 4 and the youngest 2 to find him and so the hardest problem for me is I feel like if you mess up once okay but to have 2 kids by here is detriment and then the topper is you waited 1 year into our marriage and started screwing around and the other hurt is our daughter that passed me and this woman was pregnant at the same time and our kids are 6 months apart and that is real bothersome cause our daughter died. And then you did all that complaining but you already had a son. So my question is I am going through a lot of pain and a lot of searching and trying to figure outdid I make the right decision to stay cause right now I feel like I need to leave. I have told him this if he wakes up tomorrow and decided to deal with his other kids then I am out so he does not deal with them and I know in my heart that that is wrong but I am not ready to deal with and don't know if I ever will be so should I just move out of the way so that he can be a father to all his. Someone please help me!!

N0help4u
Aug 4, 2008, 09:22 AM
Yeah I would say that 2 babies two years apart to the same woman is NOT ''oops honey I got drunk and didn't know what I was doing'' Nor does it sound like a wham bam two times thanks mam thing either!

I am not so sure I would trust him. Often women can forgive and move on but if you want to do that you need to get answers to if he put cheating in his past or if he still has the desire to cheat. As long as he has not dealt with it and overcame it he will continue. Keep watching and notice signs that prove one way or another. Accusing and nagging will do no good that will only make him more withdrawn and sneaky.