View Full Version : Young and pregnant
girlygirl08
Jul 31, 2008, 07:43 AM
I'm 17 years old and I been dating my boyfriend who is 19 for 3 years.. I thought we were being careful but I just found out that I'm 10 weeks pregnant. He is steping up to the responsibility we just got an apartment he has a job but I don't because I need to finish my senior year of high school. I am not sure how we will provide for our child. Adoption and abortion are not options. I am keeping my child. How can we make ends meat? Any suggestions or success stories?
hollylovesbrandon
Jul 31, 2008, 07:46 AM
Well, you can go on home schooling to finish your senior year (if you like that option). It will give you a lot more time to have a part-time job such as maybe take in some babysitting or work at a daycare. Not only do you make a little money, but you get some experience with children as well. Also, you can always go to school and work at night. It you have a special talent, such as sewing for example, take in peoples clothes and patch them up. There are a lot of ways to make a buck.
girlygirl08
Jul 31, 2008, 07:55 AM
Hey I never thought of that thank you so much!
hollylovesbrandon
Jul 31, 2008, 11:49 AM
You are very welcome and good luck.
DoulaLC
Jul 31, 2008, 02:22 PM
Check with your school district... some will have programs for pregnant teens who need to finish school. I know where I live the girls are provided with buses to and from school and help with childcare for when they are attending classes. Since you have a year to go, the childcare idea may work, but check with what is required where you live. Many childcare centers require at least a minimum of some childcare type classes to work there. Depending on what your boyfriend is able to do, he may need to take on two jobs as well at least to get some money put away.
babygirl1092
Jul 31, 2008, 02:50 PM
I was in a similar situation, when I was 16 and I had my first baby, we had 1 baby my bfs (which isn't mine) then we found out I was pregnant and she wasn't my bfs she was my exs, my boyfriend stepped up to the plate and took care of her and me and his son, we struggled a lot, and it was very hard but now we are on our feet and we are getting ready to have twins and we are welcoming our twin girls into our new house (that we own now) and we made it so I do believe that you can do it if I did it at 16, and I am now standing proudly on my feet.
keoghgirl
Jul 31, 2008, 03:54 PM
I'm 17 years old and i been dating my boyfriend who is 19 for 3 years.. I thought we were being careful but i just found out that i'm 10 weeks pregnant. He is steping up to the responsibility we just got an apartment he has a job but i don't because i need to finish my senior year of high school. i am not sure how we will provide for our child. Adoption and abortion are not options. I am keeping my child. How can we make ends meat? any suggestions or success stories??
PRAY PRAY PRAY! Being a mom is the hardest but most rewarding job you will ever have! When I got pregnant with my son I had nothing I led a VERY un-healthy lifestyle I had nothing... Here is what I did... I went and lived with my parents which was hard, then I got a job in a nursing home (that was horrible) and they paid for me to get my C.N.A. and I worked nights (which actually paid $1.50/hr more than days) I started stocking up on diapers. In your case you could probably find something similar for weekends. Another thing I strongly recommend is breast feeding that will save you allot of money and messes! Also after I had my son I had a copper t iud fitted to make sure that I didn't get pregnant again until I was ready... there are allot of things you can do but mostly remember that the baby is a blessing from god NOT a burden!
girlygirl08
Jul 31, 2008, 04:05 PM
So I'm not too young to nurse?
tolerance
Jul 31, 2008, 04:08 PM
I agree with DoulaLc, they have mother and child schools for teenagers but most require the baby to be at least 3 months old and some have a waiting list for daycare. Start looking into now. Also, some colleges offer childcare too, so look into things as well.
tolerance
Jul 31, 2008, 04:11 PM
so i'm not too young to nurse?
No, are you taking your prenatal vitamins, iron pills, and eating right?
girlygirl08
Jul 31, 2008, 04:19 PM
Yes
tolerance
Jul 31, 2008, 04:28 PM
Then yes, after birth and while your in the hospital a nurse can give you tips on how to do it because a nurse shown me how after I gave birth. Also, when you apply for WIC they show you to and you can still get it if you decide to breast feed.
J_9
Jul 31, 2008, 04:37 PM
so i'm not too young to nurse?
You are never too young to breast feed.
girlygirl08
Jul 31, 2008, 04:39 PM
Oh
girlygirl08
Jul 31, 2008, 04:53 PM
Is breast feeding as painful as everybody say it is?
tolerance
Jul 31, 2008, 05:17 PM
For some women it's painful at first and for some it's not. The baby's latch is so important. Mine would latch on OK then slip down and start chewing on just the nipple and yes it was painful for a while. The first month or two you are both learning but once you get past that it's so worth it. I have to admit I actually hated it the first and if I didn't have good support I would have given up. I waited too long to get help. If your hospital offers a lactation consultant led support group go to the first meeting available whether you need help at the time or not or your WIC office might offe classes as well.
My best tips:
Don't be afraid to go topless the first two weeks at home.Use lanolin often.Hot showers feel great.Invest in soothies nursing pads, one set should do it. Hold off on introducing a pacifer for a week or two to avoid nipple confusion.Sleep when the baby sleeps, I know everyone says it but it's so true. You take care of the baby and don't gets to keep up with the house or you can just let it go until things get better. This is a good rule no matter how you choose to feed. The demand of breastfeeding alone can be overwhelming but very important.
girlygirl08
Jul 31, 2008, 05:28 PM
OK
ang8318
Jul 31, 2008, 06:09 PM
As far as breastfeeding goes, just do not give up, I had a very hard time with breastfeeding, my son latched on great, but my supply was lacking, and at the time it was easier to give him formula, so I quit breastfeeding. Now I wish I never would have, formula is very expensive and has caused my son severe constipation at times. As far as everything else goes, make sure you finish high school, you are almost done, and as suggested above, start stocking up on things you will need NOW. I did it, and it made the first 3 months so easy, I did not have to buy diapers, wipes, clothes... etc. You are concerned about making ends meet... do not be... you will find a way. I wanted so badly to be a stay at home mom, but my salary matched my husbands, and we just bought a new house with a high mortgage. After sitting down and calculating what we needed and excluded the things we just wanted, we found out that we could do it. Spend the time and figure out what your needs are vs. your wants, you will find a way to make it work. Good luck to you, and I hope everything goes well for you.
girlygirl08
Aug 1, 2008, 04:38 AM
As far as breastfeeding goes, just do not give up, I had a very hard time with breastfeeding, my son latched on great, but my supply was lacking, and at the time it was easier to give him formula, so I quit breastfeeding. Now I wish I never would have, formula is very expensive and has caused my son severe constipation at times. As far as everything else goes, make sure you finish high school, you are almost done, and as suggested above, start stocking up on things you will need NOW. I did it, and it made the first 3 months so easy, I did not have to buy diapers, wipes, clothes...etc. You are concerned about making ends meet...do not be...you will find a way. I wanted so badly to be a stay at home mom, but my salary matched my husbands, and we just bought a new house with a high mortgage. After sitting down and calculating what we needed and excluded the things we just wanted, we found out that we could do it. Spend the time and figure out what your needs are vs. your wants, you will find a way to make it work. Good luck to you, and I hope everything goes well for you.
Thank youso much! You have given me some hope..
ibuskids
Aug 1, 2008, 05:30 AM
My daughter was in the same situation you are in. She had her baby two months into her junior year of HS. Check with your school district, because ours has a program called "homebound" where they sent a tutor ( it was her science teacher ) to our house every day for a couple of hours. She was able to keep up with her work and then went back to school when her son was 6 weeks old. Luckily, I have a job that allows me to have him with me ( I drive a school bus ) so daycare isn't an issue. But, check with your local social services department, because they might have a program to help pay for childcare. If you aren't living with your parents, I HIGHLY recommend that you move back in with them. You will need the financial support ( roof over your head, etc ) and the emotional support. Someone mentioned getting a job at a daycare and that is a great idea. My daughter works at a daycare after school, and while she's not making big bucks she has enough money to buy diapers, etc. She chose not to breastfeed, because of the lack of support in that area at her school ( no where to pump and no where to store the breastmilk ) so she checked with her local WIC office ( Women, infant, children ) and they supply her with all of the formula and baby cereal. You can have your child on WIC until they are 5 years old, and it will help with milk, eggs, cheese, cereal, peanut butter, etc. There is a 1-800 number for WIC that will direct you to your local office. If you can't find it, let me know and I'll get it from my daughter. I'm glad to hear your boyfriend if stepping up. My daughter's boyfriend took off two weeks after her son was born. We haven't heard from him since. You are in a tough situation, but you will get through this. This baby will be a blessing in your life. ((((HUGS))))
girlygirl08
Aug 1, 2008, 07:28 AM
Oh we have the same program in my city homebound but you can only get it if your doctor tell you can't go to school or when your baby is due. We also have a little day care at my school but they only service toddlers and they are not goingto keep the kids all day.. I think it closes at like 12:00 but if you have room in your schedule they normally put pregnant girls and sometimes the fathers in the class. But I don't have room in my schedule for that. So I'm looking for some parenting classes for my boyfriend and I.
ibuskids
Aug 1, 2008, 10:35 AM
Yeah, she didn't go on homebound until about two weeks before her due date. The doctor wrote a note saying she needed to be on bedrest because she had toxemia. She then automatically got the homebound until her baby was six weeks old. I'm glad you are looking for parenting classes. Most hospitals offer them but they are somewhat expensive. Sometimes hospitals will have "scholarships" that you can apply for to have your parenting classes and the birthing class either at a big discount or for free.
DoulaLC
Aug 1, 2008, 02:03 PM
Check with your doctor... often you can get support through a program such as Healthy Start,( it's a national program) where you can get help in pregnancy and afterwards, including childbirth preparation, newborn care, and breastfeeding classes. I get mothers and fathers in my classes who quite often come through the Healthy Start/Healthy Family program.
girlygirl08
Aug 1, 2008, 05:19 PM
Oh OK
tolerance
Aug 1, 2008, 05:21 PM
Maybe you should talk to your guidance counselor at your school, like my sister did. She took night courses as well to help her finish high school. She also finished ahead of time. They can help as well because that's what they are there for.
KissMe10der
Aug 1, 2008, 05:26 PM
In our area, we have a Career Tech Center. It's a place where you can take classes and still go to high school. FUN hands on classes. Like Bakery, greenhouse floral.. etc.
This is always a place where teens with kids can go and get daycare right there. I believe its only like 10$ a week. Just enough to get you and understanding on what it will be like.. etc. But cheap enough to not screw you over.
They even have a cosmetology course, where its 2 years.. But you can only get in the class if you are a senior.. then afte ryou grad you come back for another year. When yours done, you can take the State test.. and you have a career.
girlygirl08
Aug 1, 2008, 05:35 PM
Maybe you should talk to your guidance counselor at your school, like my sister did. She took night courses as well to help her finish high school. She also finished ahead of time. They can help as well because that's what they are there for.
Well I called my school guidance counselor. Which seemed like a mistake. But anyway I called her and she kind of went off on me and made me feel like it was my fault and made me feel really low. I mean I understand its not good being pregnant and 17. But the sin was in the sex not in the baby. But any way she acted as though she didn't want to help me. So frustrated and ready to cry I just got off the phone. So I'll probably just go to the board of education and get somebody out their to help me. Sigh
girlygirl08
Aug 1, 2008, 05:36 PM
In our area, we have a Career Tech Center. Its a place where you can take classes and still go to high school. FUN hands on classes. Like Bakery, greenhouse floral.. etc.
This is always a place where teens with kids can go and get daycare right there. I believe its only like 10$ a week. Just enough to get you and understanding on what it will be like.. etc. But cheap enough to not screw you over.
They even have a cosmetology course, where its 2 years.. But you can only get in the class if you are a senior.. then afte ryou grad you come back for another year. When yours done, you can take the State test.. and you have a career.
I wish they had this in my state..
KissMe10der
Aug 1, 2008, 05:38 PM
Yea, it really helps them out. They actually stop goiing to regular high school and just go there full time. You still get a diploma. And they have math classes, but its more catered you and your child. Even the daddies can go there full time.
Its not just the teen parents that go there.. Its regular school kids too.
But they go half a day.
Talk to your school guidance councilers. They have had to help teen parents before.
girlygirl08
Aug 1, 2008, 05:46 PM
I have tried to talk to one guidance counselor.. I don't think she wants to help me.
KissMe10der
Aug 1, 2008, 05:49 PM
Then you need to find another. You have the right.
girlygirl08
Aug 1, 2008, 05:59 PM
OK
ibuskids
Aug 1, 2008, 09:13 PM
I agree with kissme10der, you need to find another one. I know that you are probably assigned to a certain counselor but if she is failing at her job, that is her problem. Don't let her get you down. She is obviously in the wrong career if she has an attitude like that! I hate to say this, but you are going to face a lot of people that are going to look down on you and treat you unfairly because of your situation. My daughter faced the same problem with a couple of her teachers. I insisted on having her transferred to other classes and it was the best thing I could have done. It's hard enough to be a teen mom, but even harder if you are going to be discriminated against. Anyway, stick up for yourself and be an advocate for yourself. MAKE them help you. That's why they are supposed to be there!
DoulaLC
Aug 2, 2008, 04:29 AM
If you don't find any help with one of the guidance counselors, try talking with a trusted teacher. You might look online at your school district's website as well. Our's has a link to the different programs, including the one that helps teen mothers finish school. If you can't find help at those levels, do contact the school district itself... ask to speak to someone who can help you with alternative education programs. Get a parent to help you as well if need be. The help is out there, sometimes it just takes some extra effort.