There's at least a few folks out there in common blog-land that ain't happy with me, but they've been kind enough in the last several posts to at least answer my questions honestly and with some mild forms of respect.

Here's another.

Only, in this case... this is along the lines of where my life is headed.

At my workplace, I've a co-worker that, within the last month and a half, has become a close friend of mine. She is making the advances towards a relationship--knowing what she does about me hasn't deterred her (a part of me which lies quite happy with this). A large part of me tells me to wait until everything concerning my present history--if you're curious, take a glance into the Divorce sub-section of Family and People, I think it is....

You'll understand a little further, then.

Now then, said female co-worker is 35. I'm 26.
She tells me on a constant basis that she is at my back in my personal decisions within the last several months, and is also encouraging my wife as well with her personal decisions.

However, she is my co-worker. We literally work the same hours, on the same days. Exact-same-shift. Exactly so.

I must admit that I find her attractive; emotionally and physically. It's been my hand that has stayed the relations to a more-solid friendship. No physical intimacy has occurred. Until circumstantial events are rectified, nothing will take place, and neither do I believe it will be so until a good while has passed after.

I've been noticing a trend in the community within which I am living. Many of the business establishments in this town have come about because two friends become co-workers and, later, married couples. She has her dreams, and they overlap with my own.

Our personalities, in a phrase, fit into the same region. We click. We move easily with one-another. We compliment our actions with one-another; few have, in the last years, seen anyone who--whether her age or older, or younger--compliments her in the same way that I appear to.

I've held myself back to a large degree. I refuse to sleep in the same room with her; if need be, I am usually found on her mother's sofa. Her younger brother--two years older than I am--recently coined the phrase "Gothic Cowboy" to explain what I was like to a couple of his friends... and now most of the town is using said phrase to explain me when speaking in context with her. The entire town seems to like me, including law enforcement, which catches me off-guard.

I'm having troubles in my own right, yes. Everyone is in agreement, based on what they've heard through the grapevine--that grapevine would most likely have been an undoing if in another place--about the circumstantial events concerning myself and my wife. They all seem to be encouraging the civil split that is coming, and are ready and willing to help she and I become an item, despite our co-working relations. I don't understand it. Seriously, I do not. I've lived in large-enough cities for long enough a time that I'm wary about it.

But... at the same time, I am curious to know others' thoughts concerning what's going on... should I take the graceless leap, and work upon this relationship, when circumstances allow, or should I continue living in silence as the hermit I usually enjoy being?

Be at peace, all,

Free Dream

I really am not following you too well. You say you are restraining yourself from this co-worker at least until after you get out of your current relationship but you do sleep on this co-workers sofa?

Also why does she have so much input to you and your wife's relationship?

Should you continue living in silence as the hermit I usually enjoy being?
And the whole community is onto you and the co-worker and think it is the best thing?

I think you need to take care of loose ends before you do anything else get a paternity test on the baby, get the divorce, take a break and then decide what YOU want and what is best.

She had the baby to another guy so you need to get paternity established as not being yours and get your name off the birth certificate.

Keep it professional and don't go down that slippery slope.

You can be close friends and coworkers... but stepping over the line will nearly always cause problems.

Right now after reading your prior posts, I feel that you are extremely vulnerable emotional wise and this co-worker is trying to weedle her way into your heart. If you are living in a commune type of community I would suggest that you do nothing romantic wise with this woman for a long time. You still have a lot of excess baggage emotionally to deal with. You sound way too kind and considerate a person who is easily lead by his heart. Stop and use your head for a change. You don't need to get into another soap opera right now in your life, do you? No. Jumping into the fire out of the frying pan right now can only lead to more heartache than you can handle. Older women like younger guys as they like to "mother" them. Right now you don't need a mother. You need to get your head screwed on straight and take care of your own life and get that squared away. Please keep your distance with her.

You made a big mistake spreading all your personal business in your workplace, as far as I am concerned. That is a real rookie error.

My opinion is that you are too young and immature for this woman except as a boy-toy type of relationship. Too young to go into business, too young to be considered seriously.

I didn't read any other posts, but I think you're too scattered to get a divorce at this time.

Have a great weekend. :)