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Cunfused in Va
Jul 23, 2008, 06:39 PM
This is going to take some time to type out, so I hope you folks have time cause this is a long story (even though this is not a story it is rather serious)

19 years ago, I fell in love with a lady from Oregon. I was 20 almost 21, she was about the same age. I had a job as a forest fire fighter and had just got back from fighting a fire in Idaho. Well, we had sex and then after a couple days she told me that she was pregnant, so I told her I would accept it and provide financial stability for her and the child and eventual maybe get married.

After we moved to her families place in eastern Or. After we were there for a week or so, she told me that I was a loser and that she did not know if the child was mine or one of her ex-boyfriends. Then told me that she no longer wanted to see me. So, I left and eventual moved back to Alaska and changed Units cause I with the Army National Guard at the time.

A year later, I get served with papers saying that I was a father and that I had to start paying child support. I never went to court cause I couldn't make it back to Oregon for the hearing. So, I just went on with my life. I never heard from anyone again.

In 1999, I get married to someone else and try to start a new life cause just 4 years earlier I was involve in a near fatal accident and had a 20% chance to live. Six months after I am married I get a letter from the State of Oregon that I owed back child support and that I had to pay it off or the IRS would take my money to pay it off. I can't work so instead of taking the money from me they take it from my wife which in turns makes her upset. The child is 9 YO now.

I end up paying off the rest of what was owed and again, I never hear from anyone again.

Now, here it is 2008, for a few months now I have been thinking about, is the child going to contact me after they turns 18 or am I going to get a knock on the door and some young person going to ask me "Are you my father?". It happened, only not a phone call or a knock on the door but instead they contact me cause I had a MySpace website. And they ask me, do you know of a person named so and so from such and such place in Oregon?

The child wants to do a DNA test, which I have no objection to, I even said that I would be willing to pay for it, but they told me that they want to do it so they have some closer. I can understand,

However, here is my question?

1. Can they or the mother come back on me for more child support, even though the mother gave up her rights as a mother when the child was 4 YO even after I paid it all off in 99?

2. Is it possible that anyone from the family or the guardians come after me for more money?

Angel_Wings
Jul 23, 2008, 08:07 PM
Sorry, I don't know the answer to your questions.

I suggest getting the DNA test.
You'll know for sure if the child is yours or not.
... proceed from there.

Diane Carol
Jul 23, 2008, 08:23 PM
From how you describe this whole scenario one wonders why you didn't run and hide when she first told you she was pregnant after only a couple days of being together.
Life is short... but birth is not that short...
I think you have heard the term... 9 months.

That should have have told you what you were getting yourself involved in... and what kind of person tried to lay it on you.

Definitely get the DNA test... that should have been done by way of a blood test when she first suggested you were the father. Running out just convinced the State Officials you were the guiltiy party and they went after you for support.
Undoubtedly, the real father got away with it because she didn't know who the father was... and you were handy with the "I'll support the child" attitude years earlier.

That was the time to get a blood test. While the test wouldn't prove convincingly that you were not the father, it might put some question to its truthfulness on the mother's part.
Now a DNA test should convince authorities right or wrong.

But, in many jurisdictions, such proof that you are not the father, is not automatically a way to not have to pay up.
They have you on file... and unless a court ordered such claim to be thrown out, you might still have to pay up.

I doubt the legality of the court making your wife responsible for the debt after so many years of separation from the child's mother would stand. The State of Oregon has threatened you... your wife... with such action so the first thing you should do is
What you should have done 19 years ago...

GET YOURSELF A GOOD LAWYER AND FIGHT.

cdad
Jul 24, 2008, 02:27 PM
The part I don't get is.. the mother gave up her rights as mother when the child was 4 y/o?

What does that really mean ? Adoption ?

Another thing is you say you can't work so you must be getting SSI. If you are / were getting it in 1999 then your child should have been getting it also because you were disabled. Someone somewhere should have told you to apply for it for her if you were legaly responsible for her. So you really need to find out more info as to what is really going on so you can frame your question and get a good answer.

cdad
Jul 24, 2008, 02:34 PM
From how you describe this whole scenario one wonders why you didn't run and hide when she first told you she was pregnant after only a couple days of being together.
Life is short......but birth is not that short....
I think you have heard the term .....9 months.

That should have have told you what you were getting yourself involved in....and what kind of person tried to lay it on you.

Definitely get the DNA test....that should have been done by way of a blood test when she first suggested you were the father. Running out just convinced the State Officials you were the guiltiy party and they went after you for support.
Undoubtedly, the real father got away with it because she didn't know who the father was....and you were handy with the "I'll support the child" attitude years earlier.

That was the time to get a blood test. While the test wouldn't prove convincingly that you were not the father, it might put some question to its truthfulness on the mother's part.
Now a DNA test should convince authorities right or wrong.

But, in many jurisdictions, such proof that you are not the father, is not automatically a way to not have to pay up.
They have you on file..........and unless a court ordered such claim to be thrown out, you might still have to pay up.

I doubt the legality of the court making your wife responsible for the debt after so many years of separation from the child's mother would stand. The State of Oregon has threatened you...your wife...with such action so the first thing you should do is
what you should have done 19 years ago.......

GET YOURSELF A GOOD LAWYER AND FIGHT.

This is for Diane Carol :


Really you need to get a grip and try not talking down to an OP when they are trying their best to be sincere. When you start with a biology lesson that reads presumptions into it that's always a bad premise. 9 months may be the gestation period but even a 1 night stand can result in pregnancy between 2 viable adults. Your reading more into things then what was written or offered by the OP.