I had a dream I need some advice? I met the guy online and now we are talking on the phone .
I have a date on this Friday but I actually had a dream which took me into Thrusday which is one day before Friday I was laying down where I normally lay and I woke up it was Thrusday . Yes I had a premonition .I got an uneasy feeling like something is not right and I shouldn't even go on this date. Well let me tell you a little bit about the guy he already told me he likes to call his women dogs and he is a man and he is in control. He wants me to wear a short skirt without anything underneath . He wants to pick me up and have sex with me the first day we meet. He claims he is going to take me to shoot pool first. But how do I know he is telling the truth ? This guy is 40 and he is into martial arts . So that's a little information if that helps.

MOst younger guys that call people 'dog' are into drugs. It was pretty much a term for the drug dealer. Big dog the main dealer, little dog the middle man and all the dogs the drug users. It has gotten to where it can be used for any in 'the hood'

But how do I know he is telling the truth ?
He wants me to wear a short skirt without anything underneath . He wants to pick me up and have sex with me the first day we meet.

What do you mean by But how do I know he is telling the truth ?
That sounds like what you would ask if a guy said he was taking you to a fancy restaurant and buying you flowers NOT we'll shot a game of pool and then you be my booty call!

He sounds like the type of guy that you are just a number in the line at the deli and while you are crying
"Why hasn't he called me back yet" he is out with the next girl in line.

Any guy that can tell you sex on the first date and he hasn't even met you yet
I would take the dream to heart and RUN! Your dream made you uneasy for a reason!

Don't sell yourself short like that you deserve WAY better.
His type girl comes a dime a dozen!

Thanks so much :)

I think you can believe him, he wants to shoot pool and then have sex with you, possibly calling/treating you like a dog during. Sounds perfectly believable.

That your question? Really? Nothing wrong with any of this to you?

Well Im sure I should date him . I think he is being a jerk.

Well Im sure I should date him . I think he is being a jerk.
Should
Typ0--- I sure do hope!

You are NOT at all obligated to him so do not go out with him.
Control guys are loose cannons and you can never know what or how much they are capable of

Can you guys see this relationship becoming an abusive one . If I give this guy a chance ?

Im almost ready to give this online dating stuff up. Yes I want someone that loves me but I don't want to get abused . My father was abusive towards me.

That is EXACTLY what I am trying to tell you.

Why do you want to go out with a guy that wants sex first date]
Most likely is doing this with a different girl every week
Is disrespectful by calling you dog

Where do you really see this relationship going?

Guys that like control usually this is what happens
He does his own thing and you have no idea is he out messing with another girl or is he out doing something illegal or is he just out hanging with his buddies? Then he sees that he is getting away with things and you are okay with pampering him. So then he takes it a set further and takes you for granted and tells you you are not allowed to have friends or makes you feel horrible if you do and you disobey him. It gets progressively worse and you feel too trapped to do anything but let everything be his way. Then they feel they have you and abuse you
Then if he is into drugs it is even worse.
If you want a guy like this you would be better off going to the bar and picking the most decent guy in that bar than meeting this guy. He sounds like real bad news. His type are a dime a dozen in my neighborhood.

You need to tell him asap that you can't go out with him.
Change your phone number, emails, I-M's if you have to.
You can do better.
Any guy that starts disrespecting you is only going to get worse
NEVER better

That's what I was thinking because he is already disrespecting me . This is only the beginning.

Wow. And you're still considering going out with this guy? Were you looking for a relationship or sex? If the guy is telling you already that he wants you to wear a short skirt w/ nothing underneath yes he is showing some sort of control. You were OK with just shooting pool and diving right into sex on the first date? Don't go. You know better. You're having second thoughts for a reason and that may be because this isn't really what you want. Respect yourself first and others will follow. Good Luck

He's not disrespecting you. I know it feels like he is, and I'm sure people will disagree with me, but he's not. He has a way of interacting with the world that works for him. You barely know him and you already see it. So, he's not hiding anything from you. He's being himself.

Disrespectful is saying one thing then doing another, promising one behavior but acting another. He's not doing this. He's not disrespecting you. He's looking for a submissive girl who LIKES being treated like a submissive. Those girls are out there, and he needs to find one.

Let him.

You should probably just let it alone and do something else. I've never ever continued to talk to someone online who has made me uncomfortable. You know in your gut what it is that you're feeling. The dream very well may have stemmed from having a fear of meeting him in person. I personally have met awesome people from the internet. I've never had a bad experience. Usually the only reason I stopped seeing them was due to the fact we lived so far away from each other. I also chose not to meet anyone from my area because the men around here honestly just didn't have a lot to offer. But you know what to do. Just don't give in to his... "charm" if that's what you'd call it :) Find someone else.

Things are possibal that he is telling the truth but you can never trust people online I mean for all you know I could be a 13 yr old girl giving out information... I am 13 but I give out good info.. the thing is you can never trust this guy- u don't know who he is and what he does when he talks to u. he could be naked for all you know! I hope that this doesn't freak you out.but if I were you I would keep down the online dating- I if you already have a merderer after you go right ahaead- but you can never be too carful

Yes I totally agree with JB that technically is his world view and normal to him and it is not meant as disrespect but really it still is disrespectful in a sense. But really it is more on her part if she puts up with it than his because she would be consenting and allowing it.
Like my neighbors know I do not like drugs and do not want any part of them and they say they would never disrespect me but if and when they start doing their drugs in front of me it is disrespectful to me BUT I have the choice to walk away. So ultimately it is what I am going to put up with rather than what they do.
Like I know many guys that will say they love you BUT their concept of love is so far off
You either love them and accept their limited idea of love or you break up.

She needs to respect herself to not accept his idea of how to treat a woman.
His idea of love very well could be sex on the first date but that doesn't make it a good or a right thing. Same with respect, he is accustomed to calling people dog, b!eotch and other degrading words as if they had no negative meaning but why fall into that mentality
To have a relationship.

Sounds like a pedophile type.

Tell him you got plans and your friend was in a car accident.. so you went out of town..

then change your number and every info you gave to that douche.

Damn... even 40 year olds arent mature...

Screw his martial arts...

No, he doesn't sound like a pedophile. Hjpan, you are continually freaky with your advice, but hey, speak your mind, lol.

Starcrush, clear out your Private Messages so I can respond to your private message.

I cleared it out . Im trying to picture this if he calls me that b word too much I might start crying. I don't mind being submissive but I have limitations

There is a difference between being submissive and lowering yourself respect to accommodate somebody that does not treat you with the appreciation you deserve.

How are you going to feel if you meet him and get a worse gut feeling about don't go through with the sex but he demands it anyway?
How are you going to feel if you do go along with it only to later feel it was a terrible mistake that you did?
Jumping into bed with somebody you never met should never be taken lightly especially when it sounds this shaky.

"I don't mind being submissive" means you don't really understand what is going on here. A submissive is a person who CRAVES being dominated, cussed at, spanked, abused, put down, ordered around, the whole shebang. A submissive actually derives intense pleasure from this.

"I don't mind being submissive" means you aren't a submissive. It means you will be in deep trouble if you pursue this. If being called b1tch can make you cry, you have NO IDEA.

I just PM-ed her that she has no idea what she is getting herself into.

Submissive in the Bible means obeying Godly order
Submissive in this guys world means as JB said.

You do not want to end up feeling controlled, taken advantage of and degraded,

Like to start by saving you from harm and future pain. My first remark is actually for you... why do you feel you have to date a loser from the start. First email him NOW

Like to start by saving you from harm and future pain. My first remark is actually for you... why do you feel you have to date a loser from the start. First email him NOW and cancer for your safety. Secondly, look into why you are attracted to these losers even online and third focus on yourself until you can make a healthy list and pick someone worthy of you! Pick a gentleman and learn to love it.

First, if you don't want someone who controlling then stop communicating with him.

Secondly, if he's in his 40's, then he's set in his ways. You look young so he most likely
Want to use you.

Thirdly, follow your guts because if he wants sex from you within hours of meeting you, and telling you before hand, why bother unless you want to as well. Never do something you don't want because you owe him nothing and your not in a relationship.

Maybe you need to get off the dating websites. I remember a post of yours about someone else from the web. I'm not sure what your saying in your profile but don't even do something you don't want. People are crazy and while some have luck for others its can't be dangerous. I know you might want someone but have you consider meeting someone the old fashion way or maybe something like speed dating, or a single gathering. If you want an internet site or you using sites that you've to pay for,i.e. eharmony. Whatever you do I hope you find someone but don't settle for anyone that belittle you or wants you to be their whore.

Online dating, posted on June 17
I meet a guy on myspace and he told me I can come visit him in California whenever?
Should I go for it ? I know he has 1 picture on his page... Is there any safety steps I should take... I will be staying at his house and he will pay for my ticket thanks

This guy you only knew for 4 weeks so why keep meeting guys you feel uneasy about? Find someone that's wants you for you. Start by working on yourself to build your confidence and self-esteem. I understand there was a history of abuse by your father, that's hard, but don't let that set the stage for your relationships. Everyone wants someone and sometimes it takes a while to find someone but you'll. In the meantime, stay away from boys that want to disrespect you and use your body.

I agree drop the online losers and get out and meet decent real life people.
You don't seem to be having any luck with the internet ones.

No, he doesn't sound like a pedophile. Hjpan, you are continually freaky with your advice, but hey, speak your mind, lol.

Starcrush, clear out your Private Messages so I can respond to your private message.


Short skirt with no underwear beneath?

Sounds like a typical pedophile idea :O

I can't believe it's taking sooo much to talk you out of this date. It's SO clear! You ALREADY know what to do! Just do it! (Don't go)

Short skirt with no underwear beneath?

Sounds like a typical pedophile idea :O

You said that page 2 post #17
What makes you think that? I think she is over 18.

I am going to speak my mind.

Nobody on AMHD to be responsible for your actions. Go ahead and get fuqed over with some 40 year old guy who can't get a decent wife. You might end up with a small scratch or couple bruises, broken bones, fractured joints etc. Guess what? No one on AMHD is going to be there when you need them the most. It's YOUR choice; YOU make the decision.

I have been through rough times... I've seen my friends from my high school who attempted suicide; I've seen my friends smuggle drugs around and distribute on school grounds; I've seen my friends who got attacked and beaten almost do death by strangers. Even though I'm young, I've seen and heard a lot. It's the real world... Nobody is going to protect you besides yourself. Nobody is going to help in me college except myself.. I can go to Teacher Assistants & the professor hours.. that's it~

So, you mention he's a martial arts instructor? Well, I'm pretty sure if you don't like his idea, you're going to be forced. By that time, it's too late.

I may sound mean, harsh, crazy, lunatic... but that does not mean I'm not a bad person.

You said that page 2 post #17
What makes you think that? I think she is over 18.

I didn't say the OP... it's a typical pedophile idea... probably after watching episodes of MSNBC: How to Catch a Predator

Im 28

I am going to speak my mind.

Nobody on AMHD to be responsible for your actions. Go ahead and get fuqed over with some 40 year old guy who can't get a decent wife. You might end up with a small scratch or couple bruises, broken bones, fractured joints etc. Guess what? No one on AMHD is going to be there when you need them the most. It's YOUR choice; YOU make the decision.

I have been through rough times... I've seen my friends from my high school who attempted suicide; I've seen my friends smuggle drugs around and distribute on school grounds; I've seen my friends who got attacked and beaten almost do death by strangers. Even though I'm young, I've seen and heard a lot. It's the real world... Nobody is going to protect you besides yourself. Nobody is going to help in me college except myself.. I can go to Teacher Assistants & the professor hours.. that's it~

So, you mention he's a martial arts instructor? Well, I'm pretty sure if you don't like his idea, you're going to be forced. By that time, it's too late.

I may sound mean, harsh, crazy, lunatic... but that does not mean I'm not a bad person. I know hun that's what I'm afraid of

I know hun thats what im afraid of

And you STILL WANT TO GO?

No

Grab a girlfriend and go to a decent type bar and meet a good guy.
Find something to curb the urge.
He isn't the end all be all in guys and I know you can do better
Put your efforts in something/someone that is going to get you somewhere.
ALL I ever met all my life was losers and now I really don't have anything to show for it
Other than hardships.
People say "he never gave you anything''.
I say ''Yes he did, heartache and misery!".

no

That's good then :)

It just seem like I'm not going to find the right person :(

It just seem like im not going to find the right person :(

Damn it... don't think like that!

That's the typical loner status. There are A LOT of good guys out there..

This online dude is NOT ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS

Are you For real, really? Seriously?