Hi I'm new to this forum anyway

I have this girlfriend we have been going out for about 2 years now and during those 2 years she has lied to me about doing cocaine crystal meth weed shrooms ecstacy. And it hurts me so much that she lies to me all the time. But that is in the past. Recently she went to disney land with her best girl friend which introduced her to shrooms and ecstacy. I see a picture of her smoking hooka and a line of coke next to her and then another picture of her passed out in the bath tub. I asked her what was going on she agreed to the smoking hooka part whiched she lied about doing for about a month. I asked her about the whole cocaine thing and she told me it was a joke and they where messing around. But like she had 2 bags one still had cocaine in it a razor blade and a rolled up straw and a credit card to cut it. It seriously kills me on the inside that she could be doing drugs all again. Should I let drugs slide likes its not a big deal? I'm so sad all the time but it seems like she's the only girl who makes me happy she still tells me she loves me so much and cares about me so much.. but why.. why would she do that to me? What should I do?

shes the only girl who makes me happy she still tells me she loves me so much and cares about me soo much.. but why .. why would she do that to me? what should i do?


Because she's drug dependent , honey. Addiction, alcoholism and other vices are siblings of lying. Encourage her to see counselor and go to rehab. If she won't come clean from drugs, your relationship with her is pointless. You can't be a husband to a druggie in future come on!

Yeah I know she tells me she doesn't do drugs anymore. She lied to me all of march for drugs. I feel like she's better then that though her friends are the one that is making her do that. I want her to stop and be her old self the one who always wanted to see me and always wanted to be with me be happy with life with no drugs involved.

Ever heard of the line "Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are."? She's weak, easily swayed and lost for some reason. You can't change the person unless she's willing to do it for herself. Get her to counseling and in the rehab, if she wont, find someone else. This time, consider yourself. You are not superman.

hi im new to this forum anyways

i have this girlfriend we have been going out for about 2 years now and during those 2 years she has lied to me about doing cocaine crystal meth weed shrooms ecstacy. and it hurts me so much that she lies to me all the time. but that is in the past. recently she went to disney land with her best girl friend which introduced her to shrooms and ecstacy. i see a picture of her smoking hooka and a line of coke next to her and then another picture of her passed out in the bath tub. i asked her what was going on she agreed to the smoking hooka part whiched she lied about doing for about a month. i asked her about the whole cocaine thing and she told me it was a joke and they where messing around. but like she had 2 bags one still had cocaine in it a razor blade and a rolled up straw and a credit card to cut it. it seriously kills me on the inside that she could be doing drugs all again. should i let drugs slide likes its not a big deal? im so sad all the time but it seems like shes the only girl who makes me happy she still tells me she loves me so much and cares about me soo much.. but why .. why would she do that to me? what should i do?
But why would she hurt you so much if she loves you? Love is a lot of things... posotive things... it includes leaving parents behind and becoming one with some stranger right? Why is it difficult for her ;then to leave this... thing behind? Love loves; cares; forgives; trusts... even love forces someone to sacrifice onself for no special reason. Sorry to say this ;but I don't think she loves you.
What I think u need to do; talk to her for one last time. Tell her that u don't think what she is doing is right for neither of you. THen you let her decide between her... cocaine and going to seek help with you. Tell her you are and will be there for her as long as she is willing to get over this.. and be firm to remind her that you can no longer take it if she chooses her coc over you. Good luck!

So I figured out my girlfriend was snorting ecstacy and she lied to me in my face tonight about it. I thought of a senario though. She wants to be with me still because she tells me she loves me and all but she can't do anything because she's messed up on drugs all the time. So she doesn't want to lose me at all she just wants me to wait for her so she can kind of get off the drugs and get better with me.

How does she plan to get off the drugs and get better with you? Does that plan of hers include you or it's just her and her friends? You need to talk to her pal. Figure out when she is planning to do that and how long you will need you to wait for her. I don't mean for you to dump her; NO! I wish for you two to work together and surive this together; if she is willing. Just let her know that you are waiting for her to give u a chance for that... and at the same time , what will happen otherwise.

Friends don't MAKE her do drugs. They make it easier access to them but ultimately she would be out hunting them down if they weren't making them so available to her.
She is addicted and she lies because she doesn't want to loose you.
You will never get anywhere in a good relationship with her because her addiction will always rule her and it only gets worse. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with an addict? Really you need to get out now. Often even when addicts hit the bottom of the barrel they still don't want to quit. They will even go to rehab and come back out and start all over again. Don't waste your life on her.

But what if it's just what it takes for her to get out of this mess? What if she needs his support and she can't do the 'getting out of this' by herself? I say he mentions this offers before he gives her his back... that he is there for her NOW. This way he will never blame himself for anything if anything goes wrong... and she certainly will remember him forever!

I have yet to see an addict get through an addiction because somebody was there for them.
The addiction rules and they have to want to quit. As long as she is in denial his hands are basically tied to where he couldn't help her even if he knew exactly what to do.
He sticks with her and the next thing he knows she will be draining his life.
Most addicts I know will steal off their loved ones and not even give it a second thought.
It really isn't worth getting your life drug down by the things they do because their addiction rules

But how do u think the 'wanting to quit' thing will be in an addicts' mind? Will it not help for someone to be there to remind them to do that and help them through?

3 months into our relationship I caught her doing crystal meth. She was straight for about a year march on my birthday month I found out she did ecstacy shrooms and some weed. And then I later found out like a year later. The week after she did crystal meth she did cocaine. Do you think if I went to her parents and told them what's going on it would help her? I still love her so much she tells me she loves me a lot too. But why could someone lie so much. Is it because she thinks I will get mad? I tell her I hate it more when she lies but she does it every day to herself. Should I just leave he?

but how do u think the 'wanting to quit' thing will be in an addicts' mind? will it not help for someone to be there to remind them to do that and help them through?

Most of the time that peoples good intention is to help an addict all they are doing in reality is being an enabler. Then the addict thinks they can take advantage because you did not make an issue of them taking $20. From them. So then they think they can steal your Ipod.
Then you feel bad for them and still let them get away with it making excuses. Then they take your camcorder and they make excuses and promises they do not keep. Then they take your car and rent a rock it out for drugs and then they start stealing your prescription meds. Then you want to call the police and you don't. Then they get to the point they 'they want to quit' so they go to rehab. They come out feeling better and say 'Oh I can handle ONE hit!" Then they are hooked right back on the stuff. So where do you really fit in helping them other than being an enabling door mat? What are you REALLY doing to help? What changes have you really made other than compromising yourself. If you have a for real plan on how to REALLY help an addict I sure would love to hear it!
Helping them is ALL just words unless you can have a real working plan and not fall into enabler category.

but why could someone lie so much. is it because she thinks i will get mad? i tell her i hate it more when she lies but she does it every day to herself. should i just leave he?
SHE LIES because she is in denial even to her own self.
You have to ask yourself questions like what she is doing to your life?
What is she really contributing that is so special that you couldn't find it in a healthy relationship?
Where do you see her in 5-10 yrs if she doesn't quit or even gets worse?
Where do you see yourself in 5-10 yrs when she has drained your wallet, your emotions and everything else?

So today I told her unless she stops with the drugs and all that crap I'm done with her and don't even want to talk to her at all. So we arnt anything anymore.

Good! If you could have actually helped her AND IF she really wanted to quit she would have choose you and asked for help. Basically if she left you that easy she choose the drugs OVER you!

And I found out when we had something she had sex with another man. I can't beileve how sneaky she is why does she go and do that stuff? Why can't I meet a girl who's loyal and perfect why is it that in every relationship there's always the person who never gets along who always has to make the other person so miserable. Why can't I find people that is right for me

So today at lunch she called me crying because I said I didn't want anything to do with her. And she told me she hates the guy she slept with and she hates who she has become I donno if I should take that as I want to change or something she's trying to say to comfort me a little so I won't worry about her as much. I asked her if she wants to change and become a better person and she said she doesn't know does that mean?

You need to leave her alone and IF she is desperate enough to be with you she will be proactive and get some rehab and straighten out her life.
You going back with her will just make her feel like I have my cake and eat it too so why do I have to try and quit something that seems impossible to quit.
Tough love.
People ALWAYS say what they have to to get what they want. People always believe they will do what they have to do but if they have it comfy what's the reason to?

I guess we planned on hanging out today though? Should I cancel it?

IF you do see her make it a farewell until you prove to me you ARE getting help and don't let her sucker you in until she is doing far better.
If she can cheat on you and not be honest with you you are doing nothing but living a lie with her.

Yup yup I'm seeing her and I'm telling her straight up that if she's going to be messed up on drugs I'm done with her

Well I know that you love this girl, but do you think she really loves you? The reason that I ask that is because in my experience people that are drug addicts don't love themselves. Furthermore how can you expect someone to love you if they don't love themselves?

I know that people have told you to leave her, but you really do need to leave her. And I mean leave her. If you love her the best thing that you can do for help is distance yourself. If she is going to kick a drug habit she is going to have to hit rock bottom and that only happens alone. You have already given her the reason for the break up. Now it is time for the hard part. Break-up. That means not seeing her and not talking to her. And I mean stop answering her phone calls avoid and accidentally running into her on the streets. It's going to be hard, but this is something that you have to do and there is no alternative.

Good luck

Also not only do they not love themselves but the love they THINK they have for others is usually a messed up kind of love that is not really love in the first place. It is just their understanding of love and VERY dysfunctional.

Also not only do they not love themselves but the love they THINK they have for others is usually a messed up kind of love that is not really love in the first place. It is just their understanding of love and VERY dysfunctional.


I'm so glad you understand that. I tell people that drug addicts don't love themselves and have very low self esteem and we go into debate about it. How can you put something in your body that is essentially destroying you and everything around you? How you can do the things that you do when you are on drugs and actually think that you have self esteem and love for yourself. It's really sad

Watch these videos:

YouTube - A&E Intervention - Antwahn & Billy Pt. 1 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=IZzfiwewTLw)

YouTube - A&E Intervention - Antwahn & Billy Pt. 2 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=rbhZ8U2MexU)

YouTube - A&E Intervention - Antwahn & Billy Pt. 3 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=T7Bfn7zU-MQ)

YouTube - A&E Intervention - Antwahn & Billy Pt. 4 (http://youtube.com/watch?v=q3Z7Tz_95U8)

YouTube - A&E Intervention - Antwahn & Billy Pt. 5 (final) (http://youtube.com/watch?v=cNzDiGoASrQ)

So I hung out with her today she was balling because I gave her a hug and said " you still accept me for what i've done to you" and then later that day I was like well if you quit your drigs and everything we can see each other but until then I can't see you anymore. And she said she willl try her hardest to stop and be with me. I donno if I should be with her still though?

so i hung out with her today she was balling because i gave her a hug and said " you still accept me for what i've done to you" and then later that day i was like well if you quit your drigs and everything we can see eachother but untill then i can't see you anymore. and she said she willl try her hardest to stop and be with me. i donno if i should be iwth her still tho?


Are you even reading the past posts that everyone submitted??

so i hung out with her today she was balling because i gave her a hug and said " you still accept me for what i've done to you" and then later that day i was like well if you quit your drigs and everything we can see eachother but untill then i can't see you anymore. and she said she willl try her hardest to stop and be with me. i donno if i should be iwth her still tho?

I agree

I understand that you feel like she's the only person right now that understands you. She feels good for you. She makes you happy. Honestly, you HAVE to let her go and consider that you owe yourself more than a druggy girlfriend no matter how wonderful you have been telling yourself that she is. She IS NOT. If you don't let this girl go you will find that months turn into years and years turn into multiple years... time will slip by and then what will you have in the end, other than a drug addicted girlfriend. She needs to quit, but she can only quit for herself, she's incapable of doing it for you. She's an addict. NO ONE ON THIS GREEN EARTH is able to do meth w/out getting addicted... it's like a cheap version of Heroin. The girl is an addict... don't you want a girl that loves you and can enjoy you without drugs? At some point in your life you need to be selfish enough to put your needs first. After all, who else will? Think about it...

She's only done crystal meth twice in 1 night that I know of she's is done with that I hope. I'm not going to see her for a very long time me and her are separated now. If she's chooses drugs so be it I'm not going to wait around and give her another chance just to up and put me through the same stuff. But if she really quits and really stops just for me I can assure her a friendship but not a relationship of any kind. What in anyone's right mind would go back out with a girl who cheated me them? That's just cruel dumb and stupid. If that's the way she wants to learn I'm not going to be here holding her hand and helping her the whole way there. Thanks everyone for the support reading all your messages really made me understand what I really have to do and what she really is. Thanks for all the different comments you guys are great.

How can she make you so happy if you're so sad all of the time? You need to tell her it's time to clean up or ship out. It's not healthy or fair for her to be bringing you down. You already know it's not OK. Do what you know is right.

I can't imagine why you want to encourage this relationship w/ this girl who has an addiction. Don't you care about yourself more than the need to have a relationship w/ someone whom is HALF there? You are valuable and deserving of love w/ a girl that is not broken, (by addiction). Give yourself a relationship worthy of your love. You can trust that you have as much right to an awesome woman than anyone who already has the wonderful woman in his life. Why should YOU be the one dating an addict? BE THE ONE dating the fabulous women who loves themselves...

Well when we first met we fell in love because she didn't do any of that stuff. It was just recently like in march to now. And I found out just few days ago. I feel used and abused hahhahah well I'm moving on now I figured out that's she's not that great to me anymore. I've lost all trust in her can beileve anything she says and just can't really do anything about it. She screws up its her fault now I'm not going to stop her from anything or make her do anything .

well when we first met we fell in love because she didnt do any of that stuff. it was just recently like in march to now. and i found out just few days ago. i feel used and abused hahhahah well im moving on now i figured out thats shes not that great to me anymore. i've lost all trust in her can beileve anything she says and just can't really do anything about it. she screws up its her fault now im not going to stop her from anything or make her do anything .

You understand what the consequences are, but she doesn't.

Ahhh... this seems like a hard time for you... well the thing is that she is going to have a hard time getting off it.. she may hate you for doing this but you should tell her parents immediately I know it will break her heart- tell her this

"look-i know that you have been going on drugs for break and i dont want you to do this! i will take action if you continue to use drugs- but i will stay with u thro this" or "and until u stop i dont want to be a part of this"

It may be hard for you. But she needs to learn that she is living in reality- there are profits and loosing-ask her what she is gaining-

I know this is very hard for you but wich do you choose.. her health? Or never see her again?
I would tell and ask for help ASAP all she needs is help, and your thatperson to give her the push into doing so. Give her the confidence- let her know that you are there for her.

Sick - You are starting to grow up. She is not growing up at all and it sounds like she won't grow up for a long time. All she does is play the excuses game with you. She is a true game player and you are letting her play these mind games on you. Tears are a great way to get guys to do anything a girl wants and you fell for this hook, line and sinker. She is not going to stop drugs for you or anyone else. She will only stop doing drugs for her.

I've asked many people that I would call her parents and tell them everything becsue they are so clueless but they have all said not to because its messed up but I really don't know why. If I found out she's doing it again I'm going to wait for like a month then send her parents an e-mail so she can have me out of her mind with all her drugs then there parents find out and she gets way better. I hope. But until she tells me she's doing it again I'm just going to sit here and chill wait for her answer.

i've asked many people that i would call her parents and tell them everything becsue they are so clueless but they have all said not to because its messed up but i really dont know why. if i found out shes doing it again im going to wait for like a month then send her parents an e-mail so she can have me out of her mind with all her drugs then there parents find out and she gets way better. i hope. but untill she tells me shes doing it again im just going to sit here and jus chill wait for her answer.

No. Tell them now before it's too late.

You WILL NEVER KNOW IF SHE WILL O.D ON METH USE.

She will never do meth or coke ever again I knoiw for sure

she will never do meth or coke ever again i knoiw for sure

Wrong. Meth & coke are HIGHLY ADDICTIVE DRUGS.

One small snort & you're on

Ugh today she called meand I told her she has all her messed up friends and all her drugs to worry about so why worry about me anymore all I try to do is help you. So I said I don't really want to bother being with you while your still all drugged out on all your stuff. If anyone knows robin groth tell her I said good luck with her life that's going to be all messed up