6 threads merged


Wel I'm a girl I've just turned 17 I'm gay an I've come out to my family an friends an I met this girl wel we kind of beeen flirting a little bit but she is 14 an I don't know if it is wrong to date a girl this young as of the maturity levels between us, I just wanted your views thank you

I'd say that's probably up to the parents at that age.

Because people say go for it an date but other think its wrong so I have no idea but thank you

I guess I'm too old, but if this was a guy/girl situation, I would be screaming at you NO!

Two females, on the other hand... I really don't know... in some ways sounds harmless...
But then again at 14... wow... I really don't know!

Thank you, just don't know if I should or shouldn't

Well I can tell you if a 17 year old was after my 14 year old daughter I would have a problem with it. However if my 17 year was after a 14 year I wouldn't. I don't know if that makes me a hypocrite but the point is your both kids and as such the parents should be asked. If you can't ask the parents if it's cool for you two to hang out then you can't do it because neither of you are legal and neither of you can legally make decisions for yourself and I'd say this is an important decision that requires the parents.

Yeah I understand, we are both just mates at the moment with harmless flirting, but I feel sick as I like her an she's that young

yeah i understand, we are both just mates at the moment with harmless flirting, but i feel sick as i like her an she's that young

Then you need to let it go for a few years. If you feel sick now, then your off to a bad start. If you have a nagging voice in the back of your head... LISTEN TO IT it is there for a reason, not be ignored.

No I only feel weird about is because of some comments on sites like this that say it wrong when I'm with her it feels fine an nothing I doing is wrong! Just comments I've read but then again that it between a girl an a guy but I surpose gender doesn't matter

Gender does not matter as I wouldn't let you around my 14 year old, male or female. Your just to old for her.

Too much age difference for a 14 year old. Would not let it with any of my kids

20 and 23 isn't a big gap, but 14 and 17, it might as well be 20 years. A fourteen year old is in a totally different place in her life than a 17 year old. She's 14 and not really sure of who and what she is or wants. I'm not saying that she's not gay, but she might just be experimenting at this age, that is one good reason not to date her.

If I had a 14 year old I wouldn't let her date a 17 year old, heck I probably wouldn't even let her date a 14 year old, I remember what it's like to be 14.

If you really care about her then wait a few years, 17 and 20 is still a gap but not nearly as big as it is now in terms of maturity.

Good luck.

I agree with Alty. If you still want to remain friends with her, that is fine, but she is too young for you at a maturity level.

Let me share something with you. My niece, when she was 13 yrs old and still trying to figure out who she was, said she was certain she was gay. She was hanging out with 16 and 17 yr old girls that were gay. She wanted to be liked, and wanted friends and found one friend who she started dating. (without our knowledge) She thought she finally found somewhere where she could fit in, and she liked it.

As she started getting older, she realized that she really wasn't gay, although we would've been fine with that had she been. She then started to act out. She started drinking, cutting, and tried to overdose, because she couldn't handle the things that she had done with this girl. It took her until she was almost 19, to get her head back on straight, and realise that what she did was just young experimentation.

I think you should really wait for your friend to mature enough to know herself, or it could really screw her up in later years. You already know who you are, but you can't be so sure that she does.

Darnit, I had to spread the love Starby. That was a wonderful, very accurate post, so true. OP, try and remember when you where 14, and realize that at this time, your age difference with this girl is just too great.

I wish you all the best, you will find someone great, but try and find someone your own age.

Good luck.

If you want more than just friendship
You have to go according to your state laws guy or girl
Heterosexual or gay
Most states law is 16 years minimum is age of consent.
Many states are 18 years.

In my opinion I think 17 years old is a bit young. So obviously I think 14 years old is way to young!

I was with my ex for over a year an a few months, and I known her longer that that we were mates to start with an things got rocky a while back for a few months an we broke up a few times an got back togeher, she was kind of possessive an controlling never wanting me to talk to anyone or do anything with my life, but she left me 3 weeks ago and she just never bothers at all I haven't heard from her at all an I don't understand why she always said she loved me an everythin and we use to argue a lot, (we was a gay couple) an it seems like everythin she eveer said to me was a lie an the way she treated me was just wrong but I still love her I just don't know what to do.. can't stop thinking about her I get out with mates etc but nothing is working? Help

Thank you for your comments

You need more than 3 weeks to get over her, so be patient, and give yourself more time. Read the stickies to this section, for some good idea to help you move on.

Thanks I've tried indulging myself in mates and other things my mind just always wanders to her

Not for nothing, but wasn't your last thread about still being in love with an ex?

It doesn't seem like that much of an age gap, but it really is when you're 17 and you're wanting to date a 14 yr. old. 14 is just so young. I remember how much I grew physically, mentally, socially... in that short 3 yrs. Chuff is right, though. It may be up to the parents on this one.

It doesn't seem like that much of an age gap, but it really is when you're 17 and you're wanting to date a 14 yr. old. 14 is just so young. I remember how much I grew physically, mentally, socially... in that short 3 yrs. Chuff is right, though. It may be up to the parents on this one.

You are right, in that the gap between 17 and 14 is huge! A 14 yr old, no matter how mature, has a lot to learn about herself. A 17 yr old also has an awful lot to learn, with her raging hormones. It doesn't matter if the girl or boy, is gay or straight, it's a matter of getting to know and understand themselves. I would be just as against a 14 yr old boy/girl, dating a 17 yr old girl/boy, although being gay has a whole different set of challenges. Don't be in a hurry, and know that relationships will likely come and go, just as they do in a heterosexual relationship, so you need to be prepared and know that everything isn't going to be smooth sailing for you.

You need separate what was and what is. You need to NOT impugn past feelings and love declarations simply because they are no longer true.

You two tried to take you natural attraction to one another (something out of your control, right? It just happened on its own) and turn it into something more. During that time you express your deep feelings out loud. That's fine.

But reality proved you two weren't really compatible that way. And this has NOTHING to do with feelings, it's about longevity and compatibility, plain and simple.

So, it's over now. The feelings expressed were real, the intent was real, but it was not meant to succeed, and didn't.

Now, it's just a time thing. You'll move on at some point. But don't make the breakup any harder than it is by trying to compare "we are trying to make it" times with "we aren't trying anymore" times. OK?

Well, I have always dated older men.. You know, honestly its only 3 years difference. Im in a relationship right now and he is 37 and Im 21. 3 years isn't even extreme. I think if you care for her.. go for it. People are always going to have something to say... its just human nature to make others feel like they are doing something wrong cause its not something they would do. Just make sure parents are OK with it.

Well, I have always dated older men.. You know, honestly its only 3 years difference. Im in a relationship right now and he is 37 and Im 21. 3 years isnt even extreme. I think if you care for her.. go for it. People are always going to have something to say... its just human nature to make others feel like they are doing something wrong cause its not something they would do. Just make sure parents are ok with it.

You are missing the point here. There is a huge difference between someone being 21 and dating someone older! A 13 yr old girl that hasn't yet learned about her sexuality, and her social skills, cannot make an informed decision based upon experience. Hormones are raging in your teen years, and wrong decisions are made based upon the heat of the moment, and the need to feel loved or part of the crowd. Being Gay, if that is the case, is hard enough to deal with when you are discovering your own sexuality, let alone trying to deal with someone that has already come to grips with their own gender preference.

What you have described is a totally different scenario. This is a case of a young teen, and a much older teen, who have not yet found their niche in life. Read back through all of the posts, and maybe you will understand a little bit more. You are comparing apples to oranges!

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/okay-13-year-old-17-year-old-241251.html

Read through that thread if you have not already done so, though this thread given is male/female, the same concepts and advice apply to your situation.

I commend you for having the courage to come out to your parents.

Huge difference between a 14 yr. old and a 17 yr. old. I don't think you 2 at this age could possibly be at the same place in your lives. She's probably just barely out of middle school and you're on your way out of High School. It's just such a huge age gap at this point in your lives. When you're 21 and she's 18, that's totally different. By then she will have caught up to you.

No, it is wrong, the 14 year old is a child, not a mature person with a sexual personality. At this issue the 17 is nothing but a molestor and should know that 14 year old is off limits from a sexual view point.

Will do my best thank you

not for nothin, but wasn't your last thread about still being in love with an ex?


Yeah it was I just trying to move on

You can't use a 14 year old girl to "move on". You need to take time for yourself and try to free yourself of the feelings that you have for the other person and then move on with someone who is your own age. If she's just a rebound anyway, ulimately she's going to be hurt.

Moving on doesn't work too well when you try to do it by jumping into another relationship
Rebounds only cause more problems and 14 yr olds are jail bait if somebody wants to make an issue out of it. Even if you don't do anything people do start rumors and lies.

Nah I ent running into anything we just good mates an she real nice

Even with the age difference of 21 and 37... I also started dating at 13. My 4 year relationship there was a 3 year difference. I was a freshmen, he was a junior in high school, when we started dating. I feel it was all right, but again people mature at different rates. What works for me, doesn't work for everyone.

If you feel strongly about her, go for it! Age shouldn't matter! :-) Good luck!

If you feel strongly about her, go for it! Age shouldn't matter! :-) Good luck!

This is bordering on child abuse! It is wrong no matter how you look at it. 14 yr old girls should be more focused on their teen yrs. and not having to make relationship decisions. 14 is much too young whether the relationship is straight or gay. The maturity level is just not there! It's wrong on so many levels.

In your other thread you stated that you just broke up with your ex 3 weeks ago and is still in love with her. Is this the 14 year old, because I don't think so. Why woulc you even want to damage this girl if your not even over your past and drag her into?

Leave her alone and work with your own problems. I just confused with your posts and it seems this girl will only get hurt by you and like some people before she might be unsure of what sex she wants to get involve with, where as you already know. Let her mature and choose her own path.

Yeah she pretty much admitted that this girl is a rebound.

wel im a girl ive just turned 17 im gay an ive come out to my family an friends an i met this girl wel we kinda beeen flirting a little bit but she is 14 an i dunno if it is wrong to date a girl this young as of the maturity levels between us, i just wanted ur views thank you

Are you guys 2years or 3 years apart?

Like is she turning 15 really soon? While your not turning 18 till next year?

Anyways- I think its OK, you can't get each other pregnant. The maturity levels might be a tad uneven. But if your both mature enough I say age has no limits.

May I ask where you live?

I am amazed at the amount of people who think that age doesn't matter. Watch an episode of "To Catch A Predator" the guys on that show seem to think age does matter. It matters a lot, it will alter your life forever. You get caught, you can be put into jail and have the branded name of "child predator" for the rest of your life.

Another thing, the U.S law doesn't say "No sexual acts between an adult and a minor if they are of the opposite sex but if they are the same sex, well that's okay" IT'S NOT RIGHT EVER!

There is a certain barrier between maturity and "what is right." There is such thing as true love.

Are you guys 2years or 3 years apart?

Like is she turning 15 really soon? while your not turning 18 till next year?

Anyways- I think its ok, you can't get each other pregnant. The maturity levels might be a tad uneven. But if your both mature enough I say age has no limits.

May I ask where you live?

Rabbit91 : There is a certain barrier between maturity and "what is right." There is such thing as true love.

This has nothing to do with what you posted above.

If it is true love it can wait another year or two. You give no regard to laws or real consequences in your replies.

Rabbit91 : There is a certain barrier between maturity and "what is right." There is such thing as true love.

This has nothing to do with what you posted above.

If it is true love it can wait another year or two. You give no regard to laws or real consequences in your replies.


Exactly, I wouldn't have disagreed had she mentioned the laws. I mean, hey if age and laws don't matter, then serving 10-15 years in state prison shouldn't either

2 years is not a big barrier - that is what im saying.

Maturity is more important then a 'number.'

If a 16year old with alot of maturity is in a relationship with a 20 year old with maturity what is the problem? (besides an invisible -age difference?)

Rather then a 20 year old who is extremely immature in a relationship with a 20 yearold who is also immature?

Hmm... think outside of the box.

The fact that the police can arrest the 20 year old, and now can do so WITHOUT the parents calling.(unless that law hasn't been passed yet, I will have to check) But either way, If it's true love, it waits and will stick around.

I would never allow my daughter to date a 17 year old at the age of 14. My daughter would not be able to date anyway until 16, like me, and it must be in her age group. I would like to see what a lot of people that says age doesn't matter, what would allow your daughter to do at the age? She must have some doubts about it also if she asking.

Secondly, you have other problems. Why would you want this girl to be your rebound. What happen if you were able to date her and decide to get back with your ex. It sounds like you still have a lot of growing up to do.

See in other posts, You guys say things like.. Oh that shouldn't matter, if you likes someone why let.. (Blah Blah Blah) effect whether you like someone.

I personally don't feel that age is horrable. I have always dated older boys, but I was more mature... at 13 or 14.

Age doesn't determine someone, it determines experiences. How can a Law be right for everyone? Don't take that out of context. Im talking about the age law. Even when someone is caught who was in a relationship with the younger person, they try not to post them on the sex offender list.

I think if someone is in high school, and surrounded by boys or girls of all grades and ages. That it should be OK. How can you help feeling attracted to that person? You can't sit there and say.. "Well, we have everything in common.. but OH NO, we can't date cause your 2 or 3 years older then me. " Love comes in all packages, and I know there is always a possibility of a older man preying on a young female. But Im saying high school should be OK. Not a 21 year old dating a 14 year old.. Does that makes sense?

Tolerance, to further add, while I don't have daughters directly, my present girlfriend has 2. We were discussing what ifs 2 nights ago, and we were setting rules we think were fair. When we got to dating, she asked when the age I would want them to date at was, I said 18 right off the bat ha ha. Surprising, she agreed because she didn't date until she was 18. So I think I lucked out ha ha!

Hmm... think outside of the box.

That's the thinking that leads to living in a box, 15 years to life!! Play it safe, and ask your parents first, before you jump out of that box. That's maturity!

2 years is not a big barrier - that is what im saying.

Maturity is more important then a 'number.'

If a 16year old with alot of maturity is in a relationship with a 20 year old with maturity what is the problem? (besides an invisible -age difference?)

Rather then a 20 year old who is extremely immature in a relationship with a 20 yearold who is also immature?

Hmm... think outside of the box.

The point is that its NOT an invisible number. The fact is that age DOES matter, both legally and practically, when one party is a legal adult and the other is a legal minor. And all the teenage romanticists who want to believe that true love conquers all, need a wake up call.

Agreed, I am very comfy in my Best buy box.

I think if someone is in high school, and surrounded by boys or girls of all grades and ages. That it should be OK.
Lets put the law aside for a second, when in doubt ask your parents, that's what makes it OK, or not. What, scared of what they will say??

Are you guys 2years or 3 years apart?

Like is she turning 15 really soon? while your not turning 18 till next year?

Anyways- I think its ok, you can't get each other pregnant. The maturity levels might be a tad uneven. But if your both mature enough I say age has no limits.

May I ask where you live?


I live in the midlands... and she is 15 before I turn 18

He's just some punk kid who thinks he knows everything. *shakes head at future generation*

I hope the first guy who tries to date my daughter understands he will get a 12 page novel on "HOW TO TREAT MY DAUGHTER" and the last line will read "I have a shotgun, shovel and 12 acres of land.....They WILL NOT find you...Have a nice night"

Enjoy the ReP

2 years is not a big barrier - that is what im saying.

Maturity is more important then a 'number.'

If a 16year old with alot of maturity is in a relationship with a 20 year old with maturity what is the problem? (besides an invisible -age difference?)

Rather then a 20 year old who is extremely immature in a relationship with a 20 yearold who is also immature?

Hmm... think outside of the box.

Part of the problem here is that it is NOT a 16 year old and a 20 year old. Have you "read" the OP? As far as maturity is concerned, a 17 year old, if at a proper maturity level, would know better than to engage in a relationship with a CHILD!

This has nothing to do with "pregnancy". It has everything to do with the "life" on a young girl who has yet to figure out herself. Leave the gender out of this for a minute, although there is a whole different discussion on the that part of it. A 14 year old girl cannot informatively make life changing decisions based on experience with the lack of maturity that comes with that age. Bottom line, IT IS WRONG, on so many levels!

Good answer

He's just some punk kid who thinks he knows everything. *shakes head at future generation*

I hope the first guy who tries to date my daughter understands he will get a 12 page novel on "HOW TO TREAT MY DAUGHTER" and the last line will read "I have a shotgun, shovel and 12 acres of land.....They WILL NOT find you...Have a nice night"

Do you have room on those 12 acres for the first guy that dates my daughter? ;)

In regards to Rabbit, hopefully the mods are watching him, he has given very bad advice on allot of threads, I'm actually surprised he's still here.

Frappuccino at starbucks... yummeh!

He's just some punk kid who thinks he knows everything. *shakes head at future generation*

I hope the first guy who tries to date my daughter understands he will get a 12 page novel on "HOW TO TREAT MY DAUGHTER" and the last line will read "I have a shotgun, shovel and 12 acres of land.....They WILL NOT find you...Have a nice night"

Lol I like that

I most certainly do, bring a shovel, we can bury together

But cheers for your comments.. an we are just friends an that's how it will stay so thanks xx :)

Bugs Bunny - "wheres that wabbit at" haha <3

but cheers for ur comments.. an we are just friends an thats how it will stay so thanks xx :)

I'm glad to hear that. I'm also glad that you took our comments the way they were intended, to help you and your friend. You will meet many people in your life, and many of them will turn out to be just another experience, until you meet the one that will change your life. You are still young as well, but as you get older you'll understand why we give the advice we do.

Good luck. :)

Congrats on making the right decision drummer, sorry it didn't work out the way you wanted but eventually you will find the right person.

I most certainly do, bring a shovel, we can bury together

I'll bring a tarp, or would a body bag be better?

Kidding people, really, just kidding! :D :eek:

Tarp is good

And yes, this is nothing more than good clean fun... But my note will still read that, just maybe worded differently for legal purposes

Yeah.. I think it's the right decision I didn't know what to do about her an I didn't know what was right and wrong about it as I see her as she is an she a wicked person... but yeah I understand why you say what you do an thanks

Romefalls, my mother was okay with me dating at 16 but my father was against it. Even though I was allow to date it was a process. My parents had to meet him and then my dad at to have a private meeting with him. It was worst then get a job and being interview and you don't even what to know what he said or did to them. Next, one of parent had to to with us whenever we went out and I hated when my father went because all he talked about was his gun collection. It got to the point where I did not want to date but my daughter father is going be the same way.

To kissme, age does not matter once you're an adult. Your 22 dating an 37 year old and he can't go to jail and your mature enough to handle that. Your have more than a 10 years difference. So would you allow your 14 year old to date an 24 year old? If someone that age was even interested in someone that young then something is wrong with that guy.

tarp is good

And yes, this is nothing more than good clean fun...But my note will still read that, just maybe worded differently for legal purposes

Soo.. how old is your daughter?

My girlfriends daughter is 5 years old. We were discussing what ifs, because I do plan on spending considerable time with my girlfriend so we were talking about the future as mature adults and determining how each other feel about boundries and such.

Romefalls, my mother was okay with me dating at 16 but my father was aganist it. Even though I was allow to date it was a process. My parents had to meet him and then my dad at to have a private meeting with him. It was worst then get a job and being interview and you don't even what to know what he said or did to them. Next, one of parent had to to with us whenever we went out and I hated when my father went because all he talked about was his gun collection. It got to the point where I did not want to date but my daughter father is going be the same way.

To kissme, age does not matter once your an adult. Your 22 dating an 37 year old and he can't go to jail and your mature enough to handle that. Your have more than a 10 years difference. So would you allow your 14 year old to date an 24 year old? If someone that age was even interested in someone that young then something is wrong with that guy.


Now, that's something I might be able to be okay with. Supervised dating, I like the idea of that.

Rabbit91, I hope all 16 years old don't act like you. How are grades in school?

LMAO, Im only 21, if you want to use comparison.. please count correctly. Only 7 years since I was 14.

And the age difference between me and my boyfriend is 16 years.

There is a difference, yes I see that. But what's in high school should be OK. They wouldn't put high schoolers and elementary kids together due to maturity levels. So high school, they are about the same in maturity.

I agree with meeting of parents. I have always done so.. Even with this boyfriend.

Rabbit91, I hope all 16 years old don't act like you. How are grades in school?

Pretty awesome, thanks for asking.

I currently am riding on a 89 avg. and I got a scholership to go to Algonquin College. Most likely going to pursue in Firefighting but also looking at Personal training and/or becoming a Professional Athlete. :p

And yourself?

Pretty awesome, thanks for asking.

I currently am riding on a 89 avg. and I got a scholership to go to Algonquin College. Most likely going to pursue in Firefighting but also looking at Personal training and/or becoming a Professional Athlete. :p

And yourself?


Cool.. I'm studying sport development I'm looking into personal trainer

Soo.. how old is your daughter?

That question just creeped me right out! I believe you may be a predator yourself.

:eek: Lock up your daughters people!

Pretty awesome, thanks for asking.

I currently am riding on a 89 avg. and I got a scholership to go to Algonquin College. Most likely going to pursue in Firefighting but also looking at Personal training and/or becoming a Professional Athlete. :p

And yourself?


Sure hope you don't try and date girls that aren't legal. Would hate to see you screw up your future because of it

Ok you guys, this post wasent meant for a lets pick on Rabbit. Despite him acting very immature latley. Lets move on.

Kissme, I am not picking on him(if you said it towards me, which I doubt sweetie lol) I was simply answering his questions and then giving him food for thought

Romefalls, keep your future daughter away from the computer and monitor that because that's where all the weirdo are.

To kissme, so what I was off but the fact remains he's still older than you by 10 years. Which is fine because you're an adult. Also, after reading your post I'm unsure if you made the rig decision by moving miles away to live with someone you just met after 5 months of knowing them online, but it's your life and we all live our own life and make our own decisions. Hope it all works out.

Well if he wants to post here he needs to give sound advice. Telling people they can have sex no limits just wear condoms so you don't get pregnant or STD's just doesn't cut it when the OP ends up pregnant and in legal trouble.

Tolerance, ha ha.. I'm an IT Manager... Monitoring the computer is what I get paid for.. No worries on that front :-) Thanks though

My boyfriend is an IT and I'm a ex cop, so our daughter have a lot to worry about.

I met him a few times before coming here. If I didn't think things would beable to work. Heck no I wouldn't have come. When your talking to someone till 4am every night and have to go to work in two hours. I think its worth a try.

Im young enough if this doesn't work out that I can start over. Im not afraid.

Yes it is my life. But understand, I have experienced some of the worst things in life. I can read men better then ever with being raped, assaulted, threatened, stolen from, cheated on, slapped, mentally abused... etc.

I know what's right for me, and currently this is right for me. But thanks, I hope it works out too.

Kissme, I really hope it does work out for you, and I'm glad to read that if it doesn't you know it's not the end of the world

Tolerance, you have it ALL under control! That is a great set up, you daughters first date shall be entertaining *grabs popcorn* I'm on my way

Rabbit, thank you for clarifying that considering she is still underage and illegal:-)

Yes they just did that within the past year or so.

Tolerance, you have it ALL under control! That is a great set up, you daughters first date shall be entertaining *grabs popcorn* I'm on my way

It weird because my boyfriend always have thought about ways to make the guy disappear and some scare tactics. I think supervised is best but he thinks his way is best. I don't even want her to date anymore. Our daughter will soon be 8 but he wants her to dress almost like a boy. I have to fight with him to let her wear a shirt. Also, he already have a dress code for her too.

That's funny, about the dress code. My girlfriend and I, discussed that as well... I had to compromise(I wanted parkas) but reasonable clothes are okay, but none of that hoochie crap!

Well I'm 17 soon to 18 as well and
My I'm dating a 20 yr old and
I think if you girls like each other
Well follow your heart..

In love now and engagged it was worth it..
:D

well im 17 soon to 18 as well and
my im dating a 20 yr old and
i think if you girls like eachother
well follow your heart..

in love now and engagged it was worth it..
:D

If you want to do something illegal that's up to you, but please do not advise others to do so, that's bad advice.

Sometimes following your heart leads you straight to jail, it's not always worth it.

well im 17 soon to 18 as well and
my im dating a 20 yr old and
i think if you girls like eachother
well follow your heart..

in love now and engagged it was worth it..
:D

The difference between the ages is what the point is here! Have you bothered to read through all of the posts? There is a HUGE difference between a girl who has just turned 14, and a girl who is 17... huge! 18 and 20 is A lot different! Please don't give half-hearted advice, because you are in love, and think this is the best thing for everyone... no matter what age it is. Please think about the whole situation, and the consequences, and repercussions before answering in a flippant way. It is nice that you are "en-gagged", (:quote) and I am glad that you are happy.

I wish you well, Hunnie!

wel im a girl ive just turned 17 im gay an ive come out to my family an friends an i met this girl wel we kinda beeen flirting a little bit but she is 14 an i dunno if it is wrong to date a girl this young as of the maturity levels between us, i just wanted ur views thank you
Yea I'm gay to so I know were coming from
What's happening with you has already happened
To me lol so if you would like I could tell you exacally
How similar this is to my storey...

Yea im gay to so i know were coming from
whats happening with you has already happened
to me lol so if you would like i could tell you exacally
how similar this is to my storey...

This has NOTHING to do with sexual orientation! This has to do with the age and maturity level! WHY, when the OP has already given her feedback, as to what she is going to do, are you still trying to encourage her to have a relationship with this underage child? :rolleyes:

You are in a totally different age group!

I know this sounds so cliché but love knows no age.
I was asked out by a 17 and we dated for a month but she broke it off because of reasons and I say I hope you and that girl have a good time (even if you don't date). By the way I'm 13

See in other posts, You guys say things like.. Oh that shouldn't matter, if you likes someone why let.. (Blah Blah Blah) effect whether or not you like someone.

I personally dont feel that age is horrable. I have always dated older boys, but I was more mature... at 13 or 14.

Age doesnt determine someone, it determines experiences. How can a Law be right for everyone? Dont take that out of context. Im talking about the age law. Even when someone is caught who was in a relationship with the younger person, they try not to post them on the sex offender list.

I think if someone is in high school, and surrounded by boys or girls of all grades and ages. That it should be ok. How can you help feeling attracted to that person? You can't sit there and say.. "Well, we have everything in common.. but OH NO, we can't date cause your 2 or 3 years older then me. " Love comes in all packages, and I know there is always a possibility of a older man preying on a young female. But Im saying high school should be ok. Not a 21 year old dating a 14 year old.. Does that makes sence?



I think your answer was almost perfect

i think ur answer was almost perfect

Okay, let me first clarify that "dating" is fine in high school. In fact, one of the best times of my life! BUT!. it is irresponsible to give someone general advice, and especially when this is a situation which is not entirely accepted by all, and when at the age of 14, you may think you know your own sexuality, but you just may not.

Sexuality comes with maturity, and hell, I thought I knew everything at 14 too! But the fact is, you just don't. You don't even know enough about life at that age. Trust me, I am not some prude that made good decisions! You can honestly trust me on that one! I also grew up to regret many of those decisions.

I got married very young, and I thought I knew everything on the planet that there was to know! I also thought that people older than me were full of s*it! Now I know what they were talking about, and wish I would've listened a lot more than I did.

Bottom line once again. 14 years old is much too young to make a serious decision about these things. Gaining experience is one thing, but taking advantage is another.

Its only dating what's the worse thing that could happen omg
And I don't think older people talk sh** I actually respect more older people than my peers but still,, My relationship was fine nothing bad happened.
And another cliché
LOVE KNOWS NO BOUNDRYS

its only dating whats the worse thing taht could happen omg
and i dont think older people talk sh** i actually respect more older people than my peers but still,.,. my relationship was fine nothing bad happened.
and another cliche
LOVE KNOWS NO BOUNDRYS

Ya, that's right, no boundrys, who cares if you go to jail for statatory rape, it's all in the name of love.

Jeesh!

I mean if they just date then nothing bad could come out of it unless they start sexual intercouse

Plus she can't go to jail or get probation or anything like that if she doesn't have sexual intercourse I just looked it up on wikipedia it clearly states its legal until sex is involved

its only dating whats the worse thing taht could happen omg
and i dont think older people talk sh** i actually respect more older people than my peers but still,.,. my relationship was fine nothing bad happened.
and another cliche
LOVE KNOWS NO BOUNDRYS

Your relationship may have not turned out bad... good for you! BUT, that doesn't mean that all of them will go that way. That is why we are here to give advice. We base it on experience, but also on common sense. That is why we don't just say, well this happened to me, so that is the way it is.

What is the worst thing that could happen? You really have to be kidding me here right? Please tell me that you are. Not only what Altenweg mentioned, but STD's don't discriminate! Not to mention the physchological and physiological things that are going on with raging hormones at that age.

Love does have many boundaries! It depends where you set them. Love isn't that gushy feeling that you get. Love is a commitment, and something that actually requires work in order to sustain it.

Just to let you know its politicly incorrect to say std's they are now sti- sexaul transmitted infections

And just to say one last thing : it is not wrong that your are lesbain

and just to say one last thing : it is not wrong that ur are lesbain

Do you really want to talk politics here? STD's are what they are. They are diseases! I am not even about to argue this with you, as you have gotten on the politically correct train here. If you had taken the time to read through the thread my dear, you may have gotten the knowledge that you needed to answer the way you just did. Never once did I say that being gay was wrong in any shape, form, or fashion. Please do your homework before you answer, and read back through the other answers on this thread. (and any other threads you may give an answer to) You might then be able to give an informed answer.

Thank you!

I'm just letting drummergirl know

Pluz they not called std's its now sti's sexauly transmitted infections
Because not all of them are diseases

As have we all. It is important here to read through all responses to know what you are dealing with. I will now leave this up to other people to respond, that aren't just going to agree or disagree, but to give reasonable advice.

Edit: Only your Dr. will know that for sure.

I'm signing out now!

And I think you should be the one doing there homework lol

i mean if they just date then nothing bad could come out of it unless they start sexual intercouse

plus she can't go to jail or get probation or anything like that if she doesnt have sexual intercourse i just looked it up on wikipedia it clearly states its legal until sex is involved

Its not just sexual intercourse. ANY sexual activity can be used to prosecute statutory rape.

If its just confined to dating, its not a legal issue. But, as noted, love does have its boundaries and teenagers may not be able to truly determine if they are in love. Teenagers go through crushes over and over.

Didn't realsie the thread would cause an argument

didnt realsie the thread would cause an argument

All is fine. Nothing to worry about. You asked a question, and we gave our opinions, and answers to the best of our ability. I just can't help sometimes, but to reply to someone that seems to have not read the thread in it's entirety, and is attempting to give one sentence advice, (if that was an attempt at it). No worries. :)

NO ! my friend did this she was 14 nd met a guy on myspace nd he was 17. i think this is very wrong and dont do it !

This has NOTHING to do with sexual orientation!! This has to do with the age and maturity level!! WHY, when the OP has already given her feedback, as to what she is going to do, are you still trying to encourage her to have a relationship with this underage child?? :rolleyes:

You are in a totally different age group!!


Well your right about that
I guess I'm nieve sometimes but
You don't have to criticize me OK
She's asking for advice I'm giving her my experience
And well if it helps her then I'm glad if not
Well maybe someone else's will...
OK well thanks for your time bye.

wel im a girl ive just turned 17 im gay an ive come out to my family an friends an i met this girl wel we kinda beeen flirting a little bit but she is 14 an i dunno if it is wrong to date a girl this young as of the maturity levels between us, i just wanted ur views thank you
Well if you date
This girl it might not go
So good your
Muturity is at different
Levels I don't know
How you feel towards her
And if its love well then I
Think she'll understand why
It can't go on right now if
Its meant to be it'll happen in the future...

GOOD LUCK

Well your right about that
i guess im nieve sometimes but
you dont have to criticize me ok
shes asking for advice im giving her my experience
and well if it helps her then im glad if not
well maybe someone elses will...
ok well thanks for your time bye.

I honestly meant no criticism towards you yourself, and there were no ill feelings. Everyone experiments! My first and main point here, was to consider the age gap.

17 and 19, I can somewhat understand. But 14 and 17, is just a whole different story. They are at two different places in their lives at that age. That is a total different ball game! Just as a 20 yr old girl, dating a... lets say just for the sake of argument... a 50 year old guy or girl. Sure, at that age it may once in a blue moon, happen in the name of love! More often in the name of cold hard cash. But in that case they are both grown adults, and can make adult decisions. 14 and 17 year old teenagers cannot! People that are a bit older with some experience can see around corners, where a 14 yr old doesn't even know the corner is there!

So my main point was this. It had nothing to do with being homosexual or heterosexual, girl/boy/boy/girl. The point was, that she was asking about a girl that is too young to make these kind of decisions, with an older and more experienced girl that has apparently confirmed her own sexuality within herself. At 14. When you are experimenting, you can make some really bad choices in life, that can haunt you for the rest of your life, if you are not 100% sure of who you are.

There was no need for you to be rude, or take anything here out of the context that I intended.

A 14 year old is still a baby and way to young to make mature decissions or to be having any kind of sex...male or female. I don't know what the law states about what is considered rape for lesbians but you realize that when you turn 18 you are considered an adult and she will be a minor and her parents may not like this relationship.

Right so we split 2 months ago an we hadn't spoke for that period.. she finished with me an broke my heart yet she was the one who treated me like a fool making me give up friends an stuff I enjoyed doing ( playing in my band) an I stuck with her for over a year because I loved her so much an she said she did to but clearly not if she did all that right.. wel now she been txtin some girl who messaged me an told me tp ask her 2 leave her alone ii didn't do this as I have no contatc wit my ex but now I've heard that my ex is still saying lies to this other girl about me (my ex has lied about everythin when we were together) an now suddenly my ex sent me a message asin if I wan talk an sort out any hard feelings she said she still cares for me a lot but I barly spoke to her I can't do it.. but I don't understand why now after 2 months she decides to speak to me?
Any advice on what I should do an why she doing it now
Thanks

Usually when people go out of their way to lie, and drag you through the mud, they are having a hard time moving on with their lives. You are not responsible for what she does, nor can you control it.

She is immature, and selfish, and very vindictive, and ignoring her until she leaves you alone, would be the best way to go, but her drama will get old to everyone after a while.

RUN!! :) Yea she did you favor don't give it back to her by talking/hanging out with her. She has issues and she needs to grow up. Good Luck!

This is going to go badly for you no matter what you do. You might as well give yourself the additional peace of not having to deal with her directly, too.

Now that you're seeing how "closet crazy" this girl is, aren't you glad she dumped you? She has probably saved you from years of misery. YEARS!

Yesh I surpose I just don't get why she is trying to talk to me after 2 months of silence

You don't need to get it. Let it be confusing and be glad you don't HAVE to figure her out any more.

But I still love her a lot so I just struggling along

I told her I didn't love her any mre which was a lie a few days ago an she went mad an said wel I never loved you eva etc etc an I ent heard from her since so I surpose tahts a good sign

Don't give her the time of day. She's using you to make her life more of a soap opera and by the same token, fight boredom! Or she's contacting you now after 2 months because the guy she left you for dumped her after seeing the not-so-wonderful sides of her.

She isn't with another an she wasn't after she split with me she been seeing a lot of another girl..

I don't understand why I still feel I'm in love with my ex... I have got a new paryner but it doesn't feel the same an I miss my ex so much though I know it is a no go back with my ex its been so long now about 5 months at least and I still missing her... all I want to do it talk to her but I can't do this as I know ill fall back into the same trap.. I'm not sure how to really forget her an move on nothing has worked or am I one of them cases that never move on

Join the gym maybe. Its been helping me a bit on moving on. How long did you guys date? Maybe 5 months hasn't been enough time. I think everyone moves on sooner or later its just a matter of the person, the relationship etc. My ex and I broke up only a month ago. I still have days where I think of her constantly. Its tough.

I think you need to figure out what it is about your ex that you are missing. It is not fair to your new partner that you are having these struggles with the past instead of focusing on your new relationship.

join the gym maybe. Its been helping me a bit on moving on. How long did you guys date? Maybe 5 months hasnt been enough time. I think everyone moves on sooner or later its just a matter of the person, the relationship etc. My ex and I broke up only a month ago. I still have days where I think of her constantly. Its tough.

We were together for about 2 years

I think you need to figure out what it is about your ex that you are missing. It is not fair to your new partner that you are having these struggles with the past instead of focusing on your new relationship.


I miss everythin

It's not a good idea to date another person while still having feelings for your ex. It's not fair to your ex at all.

You may have gotten a new partner, but you haven't dealt with the old feelings. What has happen lately to bring those feelings back? Have you read the stickies at the front of this forum? Do so.

Maybe you haven't healed from your past relationship yet. Only when you feel that you are happy with yourself (and by yourself) is when you can finally move forward and look back to see it was just a stepping stone towards your better future.

You've not allowed yourself time to process what happened - you've jumped quickly into a new relationship and are now grieving the old one.

Life is like this. When you try to avoid dealing with something, it brings it right back to you. Pretty hard eh?

What's more, I suspect that must be really hard on your new partner - it's not fair on her and you're not being fair to yourself either for that matter.

Don't talk to your ex. Instead of putting energy into thinking about her, focus on your new partner. Go out, laugh, have fun.

Put your thoughts and energy into what's in your life now, try not to focus on regrets.

Thank you very much guys

Would like to say thanks you to everyone who helps out here and give really good advice it has helped me a lot to relise everything so I would just like to thank you sooo much xx

No need to thank any of us. Not sure if I helped you, but I am glad to hear that you seem to be doing better.

Now, a greenie, please, or I shoot the cat! :cool:

I already shot your cat KC

You're welcome, glad to hear you are doing better

My ex pops up on msn every now and then, asking the odd how are you etc and that's fine but the other day she sent me messages saying that she is here for me if things go wrong with my current partner and she was saying things like if things go south which they will I here... and telling me to be carful and not to fall for the wrong person... basically implying I shouldn't trust my current partner I don't know why she doing this as I know she doent care... because in the past she has been evil and called me names and other nasty comments.. any help please if you undersatnd thanks x

It sounds like things aren't going well for her dating wise and she wants to keep you on the back burner.

Pay her no mind because she is messing with you and looking + waiting for you to give her some attention. Don't give it to her.

Many thanks guys... she just use to do it about my mates when I was with her she use 2 say they all and hhate me now she trying 2 imply my current partner is bad for me

She's jealous. It's time to cut her out of your life.

I will have to... and thank you

Block her on all your social sites.

You ever heard the saying "misery loves company?" Well misery is her name and she knows how to push your buttons.

Don't entertain her!

Block her on all your social sites.

You ever heard the saying "misery loves company?" Well misery is her name and she knows how to push your buttons.

Don't entertain her!

I never heard that what is it

Social sites are myspace, Facebook, twitter, messengers, email... any place that she can contact you online.

Social sites are myspace, facebook, twitter, messengers, email....any place that she can contact you online.

No lol I mean the misery loves thing sorry

Misery loves company means that she is sad and wants YOU to be sad so that she feels less sad. It's selfish, and you should drop her immediately. You've obviously started a new life without her, she needs to realize that and you need to make that clear to her.

Misery loves company means that she is sad and wants YOU to be sad so that she feels less sad. It's selfish, and you should drop her immediately. You've obviously started a new life without her, she needs to realize that and you need to make that clear to her.

Well she the one that ended things with me in the first place she didn't wan try be friends she was nasty and now she tries to be a nasty evil person... I think I made it clear when I don't bother but you know they never get the hint

Just continue to ignore her and continue on with your life. Whatever you do don't let he words get to you nor bring you down.

Will do my very best.. thank you