Okay, about 3 weeks ago, I got a minor freakout, was alone in my room and I just started feeling angry and resenting but I had no reason for that, was pretty happy until I just took a can of coke I'd just finished drinking and bashed it on the wall along with a pringles box, I'm only 13 and since that day I've had several more freakouts usually around the same time, from 1 to 3 am so thankfully I've been a threat to no one and haven't done anything really damaging yet but I'm starting to think I don't just need to calm down whenever I feel this way because sooner or later I realise I want to bash things, I have no reason for it and it's starting to affect me physically, in a good way because it's pretty much making me stronger since I don't really ever work out and I'm more or less lifting heavy things and throwing weights, about a week ago I came across a questionnaire to find out what disorder you're most likely to have and I only took it for fun, didn't think anything was wrong with me, just thought that since I never work out my body was getting numb in some way and it was just my body reacting to that and trying not to get lifeless but then the questionnaire came up with bipolar disorder 68% as a result, so I decided to check it out on wikipedia and noticed it was describing me in a way. And I sort of relate to the correlation between the disorder and creativity, I posted something I wrote a rather long time ago but now it's my worst work, I don't think I really have it but then that means I probably have anger management problems and although I haven't thought of suicide I've been thinking a lot about death, I don't want to die or kill myself, far from that, but it's just on my mind and I'm starting to fear it.

So if any of you have a relative, friend or have the disorder could I have any information on it and is there a chance I have it? I've only talked about this to friends my age because they'll never take me seriously and I get to talk about it anyway.

All right so here's the thing, about three weeks ago, I got a minor freak-out, I was alone in my room and I had just finished drinking a can of coke, then I just got angry for a reason I didn't really understand, I was just starting to feel crazy and the next thing I knew I threw the can on the wall, along with the pringles then I just felt the need to bash things, since then I've had a few others, most of them happened late night, around 2 am, one a bit earlier, 8 pm but never around people, I've always thought I didn't think like others, my logic was always different but I figured it was normal, I've been writing since I was 8 and slowly progressed to comedy, my friends say I'm pretty creative to be able to write these things but it comes naturally to me, I'm not ablt to write at any time I want but some times I just get inspiration, then about a week ago, I came across a test, it's supposed to tell you what disorder you have so I took it just for fun and got 68% bipolar disorder. I then naturally checked it out on wikipedia, it's the only source I trust to be objective on any and every subject I've come across until now and I noticed that when I get that inspiration, I might be going through hypomanic disorder, it says it makes you think more clearly and better, then I noticed that freak-outs are normal and that there's a correlation between the disorder and creativity, those were the facts that lead me to believe I actually did have the disorder but I'm having doubts, it might just be anger management and my head making me believe I do have it, lately I noticed that my freak-outs boast out my physical endurance and I did get sort of stronger since it started so it might a way for my body to tell me it needs me to start working out because I never do any kind of effort but even though I tried to stay calm at first, I then realised that no matter how much I fought it, I'd give in eventually, it's like I needed to lose some steam or something but I had no other reason then "it's fun and I want to do it", so if anyone has a relative, friend or actually has the disorder could you give me some information on how life really is with the disorder so that I can contrast and finally convinvce myself I'm just a tad over-creative.

Okay, about 3 weeks ago, I got a minor freakout, was alone in my room and I just started feeling angry and resenting but I had no reason for that, was pretty happy until I just took a can of coke I'd just finished drinking and bashed it on the wall along with a pringles box, I'm only 13 and since that day I've had several more freakouts usually around the same time, from 1 to 3 am so thankfully I've been a threat to no1 and haven't done anything really damaging yet but i'm starting to think I don't just need to calm down whenever I feel this way because sooner or later I realise I want to bash things, I have no reason for it and it's starting to affect me physically, in a good way because it's pretty much making me stronger since I don't really ever work out and I'm more or less lifting heavy things and throwing weights, about a week ago I came across a questionnaire to find out what disorder you're most likely to have and I only took it for fun, didn't think anything was wrong with me, just thought that since I never work out my body was getting numb in some way and it was just my body reacting to that and trying not to get lifeless but then the questionnaire came up with bipolar disorder 68% as a result, so I decided to check it out on wikipedia and noticed it was describing me in a way. And I sort of relate to the correlation between the disorder and creativity, I posted something I wrote a rather long time ago but now it's my worst work, I don't think I really have it but then that means I probably have anger management problems and although I haven't thought of suicide I've been thinking a lot about death, I don't want to die or kill myself, far from that, but it's just on my mind and I'm starting to fear it.

So if any of you have a relative, friend or have the disorder could I have any information on it and is there a chance I have it? I've only talked about this to friends my age because they'll never take me seriously and I get to talk about it anyways.

I have a few books, and advice that may help you, I'll try to give you what information I have first on Bipolar disorder, then I'll give you info on other disorders that may relate to you behavior.

I recently discovered I am Bipolar/ manic - depresive, and see a psychiatrist, who regulates my Meds. It has taken up to about 10 years to find out what I may have, (depending on what you have the meds will affect you in different ways) which ones do what, and we're still not sure what will help. I say we because no matter what the psych tells me, I have to decide to follow her advice. I have to tell her the truth, even if I think I feel great, and don't want to stop a particular pill. Which I sometimes do, the pills can sometimes give you a eurphoric high, and that is bad, because it means the low (depressive) state will be that much worse. It's a "What goes up, must come down" kind of rule, and every one knows the higher you get, the farther you fall.

I'll write up a direct quote from "The MERCK MANUAL of Medical Information": "Manic-depressive illness, also called bipolar disorder, is a condition in which periods of depression alternate with periods of mania or lesser degrees of excitement.

Manic-depressive illness affects slightly less than 2 percnet of the population to some degree. The illness is believed to be hereditary, although the exact genetic defect is still unknown. Manic-depressive illness is equally common in men and women and typacally begins in the teens, 20s, or 30s.

Manic-depressive Illness usually begins with depression and includes at least one period of mania at some times during the illness. Episodes of depression typically last 3 to 6 months. In the most severe form of the illness, called "bipolar 1 disorder", depression alternates with intense mania. In the less severe form, called "bipolar 2 disorder", short depressive episodes alternate with hypo-mania. Symptoms of bipolar 2 disorder often recure in certain seasons, for excample, depression occures in the fall and winter, and brief excitement occures in the spring or summer.

In an even milder form of manic-depressive illenss, called cyclothymic disorder, perisods of elation and depression are less severe, typically last for only a few day, and recur fairly often at irregulare intervals. Although cyclothymic distorder may ultimately evolve into manic-dpressive depression or mania... It may cause uneven work and school records, frequent change of residence, repeated romantic breakups or marital failure, and alcohol and drug abuse. In about a third of people with cyclothymic disorder, these symptoms can leasd to a mood disorder that requires treatment."

Now, you may be told to go on to mood stabalizers, like lithium and they will want you to go through, Psychotheropy. I acctaully think psychotheropy is a great way to train ones mind into coping and working through depression, so long as it works for you.

I hope that helps, but i can't really tell you what you have or anything. If you give me more of an idea about what is going on in your life, i maybe able to find more ideas, or possibilities as to why you seem to have such sudden out burst of anger, and agression. Could be a build up of testosterone, or other hormonal changes.

You say it's around 1-3 am, how much sleep are you getting, and how is it?? Drinking a can of pop at night is not very healthy, you probably know that but, it can result in unrestful sleep and durastically change your mood, more of a downer tho. Doesn't mean that it wouldn't account for the out burst, since you'd have energy to burn after drinking the pop, you may just need to get it out. Loosing control is something that can be very dangerous, I'd suggest you talk to a doctor, let them know.

Also, are there any thoughts that may provoke the act, since most people don't really pay too much attention to thier thinking, it may be that a particular thought triggers it, maybe try to focus on this next time.

As for your strength, they say just thinking, or imagining your self working out is almost as good as working out its self. Not too sure if it's true, but aparently these neuro-psychologists did a test on people who acctaully work out, and thoughs who just think about or imagine them selves working out. The people who worked out when tested for thier strength at the end, had a 33% increase in strength. The ones who thought about working out, well they had a 22% increase, that sounds pretty crazy eh?? Any way, try to be careful, "with great power comes great responsibilities." Uncle ben, from spider-man.

"... beware. Anger, fear, aggression. The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny... " - Yoda (yes yes, there is no such thing, as jedi or the force. Thats not important, what is, is the message it conveys. Words of wisdom.)

"Named must your fear be before banish it you can.” - Yoda

Bipolar disorder swings from mania to depression on a regular basis. For some people, they go from extreme depression to normal, without having a manic phase. For others they can range from normal to manic without the depression. But most have both manic a depressive tendencies.
You sound rather angry... frustrated even. Is there much going on in your life that could be causing these feelings? Maybe you're just responding to something that's upsetting you a great deal. Friends, family, dating, school... who knows? Could there be something in your life that's upsetting you and making you feel this way? Do you ever feel like this while other people are around? Or do you always bottle it up until you're alone?
You sound pretty in control.

Also, bipolar disorder TENDS to have approximately a 3 month cycle, so you're emotions normally wouldn't be changing that rapidly with bipolar disorder. However, there is such things as rapid-cycling bipolar disorder... that's a bit different.

Like any mental illness, it varies a lot from case to case, has a lot in common with other mental illnesses, and also includes behaviour that is fairly mainstream.
Don't rush into diagnosing yourself.
When you're feeling upset, try breathing deeply and asking yourself what's wrong. You might find the answer is much simpler than you suspected.

All the same, if you're worried, try talking to a counselor. Get some advice, ask some questions, look into possibilities and options. If you do have something wrong, it's best to know early. If not, talking to a counselor can be helpful for a lot of other reasons.

Take care,
Kal

From what you describe of your behavior, you seem to exhibit all the signs of this problem. I am not a dr but I have lived with and been around many bipolar people and your behavior seems to match their behavior. For starters ditch any soda whether regular or diet and ditch the junk food. I noticed that diet played a huge part in helping the bipolar "cycle" into the manic and depressive states. I have read about this food factor as well on the internet and agree totally that the excess sugar makes a huge difference in mood swings. Also noted in the articles and my personal observation that most bipolar people have diabetes so the sugar and junk food elimination can help your health.

You would have to go to the psychologist to determine if you are just have mood swings, bi-polar or something else but from what I have seen many psychologists just lump everybody into ADHD or bi-polar.
You could just have a serious anger issue though too because most manic depressives I know tend to cycle more with hypo-mania lasting weeks or months then depression lasting weeks or months. You could just need some anger management classes.
Here is a good site that outlines bi-polar pretty good.

BIPOLAR DISORDER (http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov/cic_text/health/bipolar/bipolar.htm)

Caffeine and street drugs make the problem worse,

I also want to point out that you are only 13. Your hormones are raging right now, and this could be the cause of your ourbursts. Not to mention that these are happening from 1 am to 3 am when you should be sleeping so that your hormones can actually work properly.

You don't mention if you are a boy or a girl, and this may play a big role in your thought processes also.

All right I did feel like that last paragraph was to short to explain everything but now that I know what helps then it's easier, yeah, the coke... well a girl's brother knows me as coke dude so.. I should probably ditch that and, I'm a guy, didn't think that was important since men and women have the same probablity of having it but sure I don't mind saying it, also the reason why there's two texts is that my connection went down as I was posting the first text so I wrote a new one and I guess it saved both... somehow, well I do feel the need to freakout in public sometimes but I keep it botteled up, would look like a freak if I didn't, the hormones thing.

I understand but then it should've started a while ago and don't worry about my sleep, I'm not much of a morning person.

Actually I don't really want to tell you guys about that personnal thing I posted on the site but that might be the cause of my freak-outs but in there I look like the bad guy but do any of you know how some things are blown out of proportion in your memory? Well when you write, it's usually out of memory so I made it seem like I was I was this heartless, cold-blooded bastard but I'm not, I'm pretty much just the guy who makes the jokes but thinks of himself superiorly to keep self-estime up so basically I have a crush but my best friend got there faster, now I don't like him cause it got him cocky and he's not being good to her, they insult each other and he dosen't take a hint, since they got together I figured I might as well be her friend but anytime she does anything slightly different around me I blow it out of proportion and get hopeless, the first time I got a freak-out was when I came back from his house, there was me, him, her and another girl, at one point he held her between his arms and they couldn't see each other's faces but I could see hers and it was like she was held at gunpoint, I could see the look in her eyes and it seemed that she was trying to find a way out and it was almost scary, when I got back home I was sort of sleepy but since I was talking to a friend I got myself some coke to talk a bit longer, he was supposed to be there earlier so I asked him what went wrong, one thing led to another and he asked me if anything weird happened then I said something like brb while I was remembering her face and I just blacked out for a minute or two, since then I get freakouts for no reason, I don't get reminded of her very existence since she left to irland yet somehow I get mad at something.

Sorry for writing so much it's just how it started, now whenever I feel this way and am alone I think, if not now then I might lash out in public, might as well not humiliate myself and let go of control, also I've never been in love or dated anyone, there's no reason for that it just never came up don't think that last bit would change anything but you never know when the simplest of things can help. Thanks for the already very good advice.

SP, You have to get out in the world and play sports to get yourself in order. Also, keep a regular sleeping schedule and eat properly. Make friends with the people you play sports with to start.

You are only 13 years old, you need to build good habits for your life centered around **exercise**. I don't think you are mentally ill... you are just confused... you have lots of testosterone flooding your system. Those hormones can turn you into the Incredible Hulk if yo don't have physical outlets!!

Get a grip and get going! :)

I agree with Choux 100% too many kids are put on meds to keep their moods stable instead of learning how to cope and deal with their moods and anger issues.
Meds often only create a whole new set of problems.

How true, Sapph.

Well I don't think I have it either but then what's with the freak-outs, I really don't want the meds either, the side-effects seem to suck the life out of you.
As for eating well and sleeping early, well I'm close to anorexic no matter how much I eat and I've only slept for three hours last night and I'm wide awake, It's hard for me to keep track of time even though there's a clock on the lower left corner of my laptop screen.
As for the sports thing, my freak-outs help but I'm horse-riding once a week anyway ^.^
I don't think I'm mentally ill until I'm diagnosed with it but I'm having doubts though.
Oh and although I don't mind there's still somehing troubling me, I know that marvel movies are making a big comeback and all but what's with all the superehoro references? I mean I'm 13 not 8 -_- lol well you can keep doing those if you want I just wanted to say that I'm young, but not that young.

If you are close to anorexic you can not eat much.
If you are saying you can eat a lot and do not gain weight then maybe you have a high metabolism and it could be a thyroid or hormonal problem.
I think learning some anger management would be the best thing.
It is the only thing that really helped my son.

I am a health professional and I can say from your postings that most likely you are suffering from being a teen with sleep deprivation and poor diet. Your body, if not fed enough, begins to "eat" your muscles and then your organs. And you mention being "close to anorexic." You need proper nutritious foods.

As for the sleep, this is when your body is regenerating itself and your brain is resting. Getting 3 hours of sleep a night for a 13 year old can be very damaging to your health. Not to mention that this is actually when you grow, so teens who get very little sleep can be short of stature.

I don't think you have any mental health issues. What you do have, however, is called "teenageitis." And you NEED proper mental health hygiene to grow out of it. That includes proper nutrition, proper exercise, and proper sleep.

Well I'm pretty sure you're right but the 3hrs of sleep thing was only for once... damn moskito didn't leave me alone >.<
Teenageitis? No offense but it sounds a bit made up and only gets 107 results on Google...
Well I'm sure it's for my own good anyway.
I'll try to eat more but it never helps, I usually end up vomiting or not eating for like half a day, but I do feel calmer now for some reason, well thanks for everything and congrats on getting to be a nurse, I'm guessing that relatively new right?

Teenageitis? No offense but it sounds a bit made up and only gets 107 results on google...


Teenageitis is made up you silly boy :p . Giggle, I made that up after my second teen went through the same thing.



I'll try to eat more but it never helps, I usually end up vomiting or not eating for like half a day,

Why do you think you do this? This could be considered an eating disorder if there are no medical reasons for this.

Well I don't think I have it either but then what's with the freak-outs, I really don't want the meds either, the side-effects seem to suck the life out of you.
As for eating well and sleeping early, well I'm close to anorexic no matter how much I eat and I've only slept for three hours last night and I'm wide awake, It's hard for me to keep track of time even though there's a clock on the lower left corner of my laptop screen.
As for the sports thing, my freak-outs help but I'm horse-riding once a week anyways ^.^
I don't think I'm mentally ill until I'm diagnosed with it but I'm having doubts though.
Oh and although I don't mind there's still somehing troubling me, I know that marvel movies are making a big comeback and all but what's with all the superehoro references? I mean I'm 13 not 8 -_- lol well you can keep doing those if you want I just wanted to say that I'm young, but not that young.

Hey! I'm a several years older than you and the Superheroes are STILL awesome! Don't knock them! :P

Practically anorexic? Sounds like a symptom of being a teenage boy. Caffeine addiction could have a lot to do with sleep deprivation, and the situation with your friend and the girl might just be causing you to feel frustrated.
It does sound like teenageitis, but still, get help if you think you need it.