Hi I have been with my husband for 7 years married for 2 we have 2 beautiful children the youngest just turn one. My husband and I were separated for a couple of weeks, I just found out that he has another girl pregnant. He say it's a mistake and that he never meant for this to happen I think he never meant to get caught. Any how I asked him to leave and I put his stuff outside. I am having second thought I told him to get an apartment for himself and we would still have a relationship, I love him dearly and he is a wonderful father. Now do you think I should cut all links or leave it as it is.

He saids it was a mistake I ask him to leave to give me time to deal with this, and what does he do he goes and tay with the pregnant girl and when he is there his phone is off. If this was a mistake he should have fight to stay with us and our baby but no he left to to take care of someone else's child and the unborn baby he is fathering. Now tell me how can this be a mistake.

It depends on if it was really a mistake that he wants to put in his past and do right
Or if he is just sorry he got caught.
I would tell him to get a place and you will try working things out IF he really does mean it.

Hi, nmpitt!

Greetings and WELCOME to the site! I just moved your question that you had posted in Introductions to this topic area so that it would get the most exposure to those who are best able to answer it. Introductions is for people to introduce themselves and we try to not ask questions there.

I do note that you have already received one, helpful answer above. Hopefully, you will be receiving more!

We would appreciate it if you would return to Introductions sometime to tell us a little about yourself though, if you would be willing to do that.

Thanks!

I'd forgive him. People screw up. Give him another chance with the promise that he will not do that again. If the other woman keeps the baby, your two children will have a half-sibling. He will be responsible to pay child support for all his kids. I'd keep him around as long as he pulls his weight around the house.

You can't cut all the links as there are children involved and no matter what you do, dad has rights.

If your not ready to forgive ..................................don't. Cheating is not a great thing, and making outside babies isn't either, so wait until you see things lot more clearer, as to what YOU want before you do anything. This is to big of a decision to make in haste or from emotional hurt.

Someone you trust, an older person, or pastor can counsel you through the process of working through your feelings, or a counselor.

A person can forgive, but I do agree that if you are not ready to, then don't. It will take some time for you to think things through and truly feel and think things in a way for you to make decisions rationally because so many emotions and thoughts are at play here. To forgive someone is really not all that hard, but to trust them, that is another matter. To be worthy of trust is something that a person earns...

Gaining the trust of someone else, especially after there has been a break in the trust, is something that must be demonstrated and earned because of positive and proactive actions by the person who broke the trust, in order to gain back the trust.

A marriage is about unconditional love. That includes pretty much anything that can get thrown in, sins committed by either party or both... it COULD all be survived. That's sort of what unconditional love is all about.

Everyone is right though, don't try to "half-way forgive." You either really do it or you don't.

If you DO, forgiving doesn't mean "be dumb from now on and act like it never happened." Forgiveness is about removing the anger and punishment mentality, but you still have to deal with the reality of action. Trust will be regained over time, until then you are a watchful guardian. And as the cheater, his unconditional love for you allows him to submit to your need to be over-aware of his whereabouts for the next few years.

You can do it. When you're ready, forgive him. Don't forget, but do the work. It will be worth it.

===================
Oh, and a noble man (that's what you want, right?) will not shirk his parenting responsibilities with the new baby in any way. Your forgiveness will need to encompass this innocent child as well, you will need to welcome them into your family forever, no bad feelings ever about how they came to be.

Tough path, but the most courageous and rewarding if you choose it.

he saids it was a mistake i ask him to leave to give me time to deal with this, and what does he do he goes and tay with the pregnant girl and when he is there his phone is off. If this was a mistake he should have fight to stay with us and our baby but no he left to to take care of someone elses child and the unborn baby he is fathering. now tell me how can this be a mistake.



I think I'm missing something here - is there more to this?

There is nothing you can do if his heart is with her.
You can't make him stay. Evidently he was saying it was a mistake because he figured it was what you wanted to hear or he thinks he can go back and forth and you will love him so much you won't care.
Stay firm that he chose her and not you so it is over!
Go apply for child support and full custody of your baby.

Here is her other post

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/what-do-do-238740.html

Here is her other post

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marriage/what-do-do-238740.html


Thanks - I "looked" but did not "see."

hi i have been with my husband for 7 years married for 2 we have 2 beautiful children the youngest just turn one. My husband and i were separated for a couple of weeks, i just found out that he has another girl pregnant. He say its a mistake and that he never meant for this to happen i think he never meant to get caught. any how i asked him to leave and i put his stuff outside. I am having second thought i told him to get an apartment for himself and we would still have a relationship, i love him dearly and he is a wonderful father. now do you think i should cut all links or leave it as it is.


I saw that you are also posting that you "need" to get pregnant as soon as possible. In light of this problem, is that a good idea for you and your children?

It's not going to bring your husband back.

Thank you Judy,


(https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregnancy-new-motherhood/get-pregnant-239931.html)need to get pregnant (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregnancy-new-motherhood/get-pregnant-239931.html)
(https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregnancy-new-motherhood/get-pregnant-239931.html)nmpitt (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/nmpitt.html)
(https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregnancy-new-motherhood/get-pregnant-239931.html)

Can the OP help us understand??

Posts merged, but she has another one as of today wanting to get pregnant??