I have asked a question before about being 19 and still being a virgin because I am really stressed out with life. My friends constantly talk about their relationships and seem very happy. They all look down at me but I have found something out about them they all secretly have problems but won't admit it.

One of my friends is 19 he says he is in love with a girl. He said he had over eight different girlfriends and at his high school he is the center of attraction. I talked to his brother and his brother said he is lying. He just has his first girlfriend who is 15 and he is 19... and everyone is cool with it. Isn't that illegal. I said that he should watch out and he tells me I will never understand because I have never been in love. People think he is cool but they don't know who he really is. He always uses the defense "how many girls have you had" and gives me a look that makes me feel like crap inside. And my defense "she is 15 you are 19" does not work either. People around me say that it was true love meant to be. This kid is supposed to be in his sophomore year in college but is still a junior in high school. He says that he wants to be with her forever. I don't care because it is really stupid to pay attention to what these idiots think. Tell me what you think about this situation.

Next friend does not say anything negative to me except that I have to be me confident and not care what others think. He and my 19 year old friend always talk about different girls and how they would want to be in a relationship with them or have sex with them. This friend constantly cheats on his girlfriends with other girls and finds it to be okay. He is a jerk but they girls still love him.. why? Tell me what you think about this situation.

Next friend is having girl problems the difference between him and me is that he approached girls and asked them out he has been rejected 11 times in a row. I feel bad because he really wants a girlfriend he said it will make his life better and he will be happy. He is very fat he weighs over 200 pounds and wears glasses many people make fun of him and he feels more pressured than me because the two friends listed above pressure him to get a girl and constantly make fun of him more than me. I hope he finds love but I told him it won't make life better. Tell me what you think about this situation.

The next person is not a friend but someone who lives in my neighborhood. He used to be friends with my dad a couple years ago. His story is very sad and makes me feel so sorry and angry because this could happen to me and I feel this should not happen to anyone. This guy is 31 years old still lives with his mother, has a good job as a nurse and plays video games. Here is the bad part he is still a virgin... people constantly rip on him for this. I feel it is so messed up. He is a great man a responsible man a man who is pure at heart yet he gets no respect. Why? Because in his neighborhood here in New York they see him as less than because he does not have a girlfriend and still a virgin. Why in this ignorant society being a real man has to be getting girls and being tough. I feel that I will end up just like him because I don't have a girlfriend and I am still a virgin. Tell me what you think about this situation.

My problem is I think my friends are using me for my stuff. My friends look down on me and make me feel like crap... and they still hang out with me! Why? I think I know why hear me out and tell me what you think I believe that they have so many insecurities about themselves they use me to feel better about their problems. Their lives are messed up and they all have problems so they use me as an easy target for ridicule which is the obvious.. I don't have a girlfriend and I am still a virgin. They seriously have the believe that they are better than me which probably they are in society because they are considered "males" they think that I am a loser and make fun of the way I dress and the fact I go to catholic school and call me soft. I don't care what they think but after a while it hurts me inside that my own friends and other around me think this of me. They get mad at me when I get mad at them and they say that they are trying to help me. Here are some things that some of my friends actually said about me and my chances of getting a girlfriend. "I can't imagine him with a girl" "You go to catholic school you might as well become a priest you will never get a hot girl" " You have nothing to live for so if one day a group of us are about to be killed and they ask to kill one person you take the hit" "girls don't play super mario bros." "You don't deserve money what are you going to use it for" and my favorite if we are outside or in a store and they see a hot girl they say " move oh who is that she is hot aww damn move she was looking at me" and the one that really sucks " are you sure you like girls" Pretty hurtful right. I just hope they mature and realize having a girl is not a panacea to every problem in their lives. I don't like talking about my problems with girls but the truth is that I am shy I have had some bad encounters before. I am a quiet person I don't know if I am ugly but just have problems talking to girls. I feel it is to late for me but I hope I gain confidence. I know a girl would not make my life better but make ma a little happier. I what my so called friends think of me if I were to get a girl. I plan on moving to another state and leaving all of my friends behind my uncle said I can live with him for a while. I wonder what my friends would do when I move who would they use for their insecurities. My mother always tells me to be honest with myself and be proud of who I am no matter what anyone thinks. It is hard to feel confidence especially when you have all these fools looking down at you. One of my other friends says that I will never get a girl because of the way I dress. I have nothing but negativity coming at me.

All of this stuff comes from pure ignorance from people who are pressured in today's society by the media. They actually believe these things and people who are different like me get ridiculed. Tell me how you feel about all of this stupidity. And I will be posting more questions as time goes by thanks for everyone who answers my previous question and this one you are all saying positive things and are giving me hope.

OK somewhere after the 19 and 15 I got bored and stopped reading. But if in your state the legal age of concent is higher than 15 ( and it is 16 to 18 in most of the US) he can go to prison as a rapist and he will be a registered sex offender the rest of his life.
So he is not thinking if he is going to have sex with her. If this is true "love" then they date and wait,

And personally if I though so little of a women or girl that I would be proud of being 19 and already have slept with that many girls. A poor case of lack of any moral values

loserlegendr> He just has his first girlfriend who is 15 and he is 19... and everyone is cool with it. Isn't that illegal.

It depends on the state, but I think in most it is illegal - statutory rape (she's not considered old enough to make the informed decision).


This friend constantly cheats on his girlfriends with other girls and finds it to be okay. He is a jerk but they girls still love him.. why? Tell me what you think about this situation.

It's only 'cheating' if the couple has what at least one of them considers a committed relationship. Obviously he doesn't. Does she? If so, then he's breaking a trust and for me, that's unacceptable. I consider trust to be of utmost importance, esp in relationships. How can you truly love someone you don't trust? And 'playing the field' can be 'entertaining,' it's also much more dangerous - STDs, pregnancy, not to mention hurt feelings.


I hope he finds love but I told him it won't make life better.

Apparently your 'friends' think sex = love. It doesn't. Love is a deep emotion; sex is a physical pleasure. I personally found it to even more pleasurable when love was involved.


Why in this ignorant society being a real man has to be getting girls and being tough. I feel that I will end up just like him because I don't have a girlfriend and I am still a virgin. Tell me what you think about this situation.
... All of this stuff comes from pure ignorance from people who are pressured in today's society by the media. They actually believe these things and people who are different like me get ridiculed.

That's just the testosterone talking. It's been the same since before we were considered homo sapiens. While modern society seems to make it worse, it's only making it more marketable and more overt. There are actually women who prefer more sensitive, less macho men. As a general rule, they tend to be more understanding, more caring, more faithful to a relationship.


My mother always tells me to be honest with myself and be proud of who I am no matter what anyone thinks. It is hard to feel confidence especially when you have all these fools looking down at you.

Mom's right. Look down your nose right back. Not from a position of moral superiority (tho with your religious background, you could) but from a position of being someone who simply cares more. Teen pressure can be brutal and there are no easy answers, but you have to choose your own path. If it includes not having sex until you know you're ready, then bravo for you. And even if you end up like your dad's friend and still a virgin at 31... you'll be missing something, but when you find it it'll still be great. Not everyone in the world wants to have sex. It's an anomaly but, if it's their choice, no one has the right to harass them for it.



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First off, being a virgin at 19 isn't a big deal. I mean why rush. I often wish that I would have waited. My first time didn't mean anything (I was being used, I also was very young and ignorant), I wish that my husband was my first. But that's my mistake so I can only live with it.

The friend who is dating a 15, can't he get a girl his own age? And do they parents not care? I mean a 19 has raging hormones and will if not already have sex with her. I was around that age when I thought I "WAS IN LOVE". Then I had more boyfriends then finally met the one (years later) to be my true love. I just don't like the idea of grown teenagers being in a relationship with young teens.

For your other friend who cheats on his girl constantly, well I think that if he can't just stay with one girl then why be in a relationship. His girl will end up getting tired of his cheating a** and dump him. Girls can be so loving sometimes that it blinds them... but not for to long. Hopefully he'll learn how to treat a girl and be faithful.

For your friend that thinks having a girl will make everything better, he should first love himself. He shouldn't care about what others think. He is who he is, he needs to focus on something else. Something he enjoys doing and love will find him.

The 31 year old who lives with his mom, you shouldn't worry too much about him. He has a good job, and like you say a good heart, love will find him. I mean 31 isn't even old. And no one should be embarrassed for being a virgin, its actually a good thing because when he finds a girl they will no that no one else has had him, and that's a great thing. Its ridiculous to make fun of someone because of what they haven't done.

Don't listen to your friends, they may say sh*tty things about you but don't let them get to you. It gives then pleasure to poke fun of you. You sound like a good person and I'm pretty sure you are. So don't let anyone tell you different. This time in your life will pass and you will forget about the "so called" that made you feel like crap. Whatever you do don't become like you A-hole friends. Girls may date jerks but they grow tired of them and look for real gentle kind hearted men. So keep your chin up!

I am at my early twenties and I am a virgin too. I gain respect from all my guy friends, that is something you earn. What's wrong of being a person holding strong morals? Those high school sweethearts thing doesn't last long, they don't know what they want in their life at that age.

Until you graduate from college, it's time for you to seriously think about meeting a significant other. Good luck.:)

My friends look down on me and make me feel like crap... and they still hang out with me! Why?

Maybe you need to not depend on these types of people for friendship. Their reasons are irrelevant, but what are yours?

Me I tend to choose who I hang with, I've always been that way. Hmmm maybe that's why I didn't have a circle of friends to hang with.

talaniman - I'm choosy in the same way. I don't have many ffriends but the ones I have I've know for as much as 40 yrs.



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When your busy doing your thing, who has time for being around people who don't give a rats azz about you??

If the biggest "problem" you have going compared to your friends is being a virgin then I think I'd choose your situation. Sex is what you make of it but it's kind of like driving a car, it's cool at first but after years of doing it you sort of forget how exciting it was when it was new. What I mean by that is the person you are at 29 is not going to care one bit that you were 19 and a virgin, it's not that big of a deal, and you shouldn't be making so much of it that it controls your life or your thoughts.

Bottom line they are thinking with their hormones and headed for trouble they never saw coming. Girl friend purposely getting pregnant, they break up, can't get over each other but can't stand being together, he ends up being chased down for child support for minimum 18 yrs, she is left raising baby and doesn't know what she is going to do.

You are better off because you are looking at things realistically and with values.

Just look around at all the teens and young adults who can not do much more than be a cashier at McDonald's because they were so busy chasing relationships rather than focusing on their life and allowing time to bring them some one that was better for them.

It is nice to have a girlfriend or boyfriend but many kids now make it their all and ruin their life because they do not become a whole person within themselves first.