2408
Jul 17, 2008, 07:00 AM
First off I can't believe I'm writing here, but I'm tearing my hair out. I'm 20 currently at university in England, I've been going out with my girlfriend for 10 months, but I've known her since I was about 3, we both went to the same uni and things sparked. However she has the most amazing summer job as a safari guide out on Kenya, meanwhile I'm in Amman doing work expriance with the UN, I've only been away from her for 17 days (we're apart for two months, July and August) and frankly I found it fine whilst in the UK, there was loads to do and every time I felt down I just went and partied with mates.
However Amman is awful, I've only been here for 4 days (got 16 left) and I'm completely on my own, there is not a lot to do around here and everyone in the office is at least 10 years older than me. The result is I'm missing her so much I feel absolutely gutted, last night I walked into the flat I'm staying in, I saw her picture on my laptop and just burst into tears, it shocked me as much as anything, but the worst thing is it hasn't gone away, every time I think about her I get this lump in my throat, it's horibble.
What seems to make it worse is that she is having the time of her life, partying all night with the guests and riding in amoongst the animals during the day, I know she's not missing me at all, every e-mail just says how much fun she's having and ends with "lots of love", no "i miss you" or "i love you" or anything!
Is there anything I can do to sort my act out? Also I'm now worring I'll be unable to keep going with the relationhip, were only 1/4 of the way through the 2 months and I'm feeling so down I'm not sure I can bear the emotional torture for much longer, let alone another month and a half!!
Any advice would be hugely appreciated, sorry for sounding like such a wet blanket, can't believe I've let myself get like this!
However Amman is awful, I've only been here for 4 days (got 16 left) and I'm completely on my own, there is not a lot to do around here and everyone in the office is at least 10 years older than me. The result is I'm missing her so much I feel absolutely gutted, last night I walked into the flat I'm staying in, I saw her picture on my laptop and just burst into tears, it shocked me as much as anything, but the worst thing is it hasn't gone away, every time I think about her I get this lump in my throat, it's horibble.
What seems to make it worse is that she is having the time of her life, partying all night with the guests and riding in amoongst the animals during the day, I know she's not missing me at all, every e-mail just says how much fun she's having and ends with "lots of love", no "i miss you" or "i love you" or anything!
Is there anything I can do to sort my act out? Also I'm now worring I'll be unable to keep going with the relationhip, were only 1/4 of the way through the 2 months and I'm feeling so down I'm not sure I can bear the emotional torture for much longer, let alone another month and a half!!
Any advice would be hugely appreciated, sorry for sounding like such a wet blanket, can't believe I've let myself get like this!