My sister passed away in Nov 07. At the Hospital Memorial on April 12, my wife showed up there with my sister Husband. The family looked at them and some said; they're Fu@*king! Thing is,my wife and I had rocky marriage to start with, and were going through a bad spot again. I didn't even know she was going to see him while I was at work! I told my family that at the worst, she'd developed a close Personal relationship with him. Then I confronted her about it, and told her the same. She screamed, acted insulted (Accusing me of my Brother -in-law!), and said my sister asked her to help with her kids befre she passed (she couldn't stand her!). I let her know what I felt of it, and let it go.
On May 17th, my wife called me at work sounding frustated, said she need to go out of town to see her MIL. Who'm she' never visited anyway. I told her I didn't have money for a trip like that, and let it go. That weekend, she got drunk, started a BIG fight, pulled out knife.I called cops, didn't press charges, but I went to my room and rested. She must've thought I was sleep, because she got on phone to the Bro in law, and asked him "Why didn't you tell me about her,... why was she over there (screaming). I came downstairs, and she hung phone up in mid-word, said it was nobody. I called her cousin Monday and told her" My wife wasn't mad at me, she was mad at the Bro in Law because he came up with a girlfriend.
Now, the only thing I say to my wife is " I know you made the call. Why did you say what you said if you weren't screwing him?". She denies making call, but I told her she'll have to look at herself in the mirror each day. I can't get proof that she did anything with him, and she sits in front of me Securely knowing that I'll never find out. She has backed off from seeing and calling him. I want to get away so bad I cry sometimes. But I don't want to give up my house (can't sell it), which is what she wants. What can I do if she denies everything?

Is it possible to hire someone and have them followed? If you proved its true and you're still willing to save your marriage in spite of, visit a marriage counselor.

If you're thinking of divorcing her, consult a lawyer (with that evidence you got e.g phone calls, pictures) and see how adultery as a basis of divorce will have an impact on the division of property.

Most people that cheat NEVER come clean with their spouses. Sometimes you just have to go with what your gut is telling you. If there is a reasonable explanation for it all - wouldn't she have told you that?

And as far as your sister asking her to help with the kids - wouldn't you have known that? She was your sister. You said your sister could not stand your wife, but I would imagine that if she was faced with knowledge of dying - it may change things when it comes to the well being of her children. But again, she was your sister - I would think you would know something like that.

I don't know if she is cheating or not. From what you have said - it is a good possibility. It is not a good feeling, no matter how rocky your marriage is. Believe me, I know.
You have to decide what you want to do. Do you want to continue in this marriage and for what reasons if so. Do you want a divorce?
If you are waiting on her to just confess her sins - she probably won't.

If you want this to work with her and aren't ready to let go - then I would suggest marriage counseling. Try to work through the issues that make your marriage rocky in the first place. Learn how to communicate effectively with one another.

Good Luck.

I agree with nowwhat
Since your gut seems to be telling you and she is denying it and you are having a hard time getting her to come clean you could try sleeping in another room or on the sofa until you figure out how you want to handle things. That might even force her to open up.
Give her ultimatums like if we are ever going to work things out we need to go to counseling.

I did want to ask if you had children?

Is it possible to hire someone and have them followed? If you proved its true and you're still willing to save your marriage in spite of, visit a marriage counselor.

If you're thinking of divorcing her, consult a lawyer (with that evidence you got e.g phone calls, pictures) and see how adultery as a basis of divorce will have an impact on the division of property.
No. She stopped going there after everyone knew he had bew girlfreind.Guess it wouldn't look too good if she kept going, and she knew I was on to her

I agree with nowwhat
since your gut seems to be telling you and she is denying it and you are having a hard time getting her to come clean you could try sleeping in another room or on the sofa until you figure out how you want to handle things. That might even force her to open up.
Give her ultimatums like if we are ever going to work things out we need to go to counseling.
She's locked me out of the bedroon for over a year now. Remember, things weren't too good before this occurred. As you probably can tell, I'm a guy who takes a lot of sh--. The good part of me wants to just get away, even it means leaving home, paying for home & alimony. The bad part of me wants to say, (if I can get definite proof, like a phone recording), get the hell out, and prepare for an annulment. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if it was someone I didn't know, but my Brother in law? (whos' been avoiding me for 5 months now)

I did want to ask if you had children?

No. my stepson is in jail, will be released in September. Now I have to deal with extremely Bipolar wife, and violent stepson. She always verbally abused me for years, I fear she'll become even more abusive once he gets home

Im sorry to hear that you are going through this. I dont see any reason anymore why you still have to stay in that marriage. You are abused, cheated and no kids.

Just want to share, when my bf from Ohio & his ex wife divorced, he still got the house and 2 cars.

So I think you just need a good lawyer.

How long have you been married?

Ever visited marriage counselor or a psychiatrist regarding your wife's condition?

Im sorry to hear that you are going through this. I dont see any reason anymore why you still have to stay in that marriage. You are abused, cheated and no kids.

Just want to share, when my bf from Ohio & his ex wife divorced, he still got the house and 2 cars.

So I think you just need a good lawyer.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED?

EVER VISITED MARRIAGE COUNSELOR OR A PSYCHIATRIST REGARDING YOUR WIFE'S CONDITION?
20 years of Marriage hell. She did help me care for my mother, but held it over my head so much, until someone told me that while she was helping with my Mom, I was also taking care of her. If you understand, she was my Liza Doolittle (My fair lady), where I tried to help her become a lady and move past her lower class beginnings.. Didn't work. She's extremely Bipolar, I even think she has MPD. She'll lie about what she said, knows I don't have proof. Marriage Counseling is out of the question. I want to get Away form her. I'm thinking about getting a voice recorder to show how she verbally abuses me, and a phone recorded to catch her. Is it legal?

video taping is allowed in most if not all states.
Some states restrict audio recordings to if both parties are aware they are being taped.
You can tell her that you are taping so that you can listen to the tapes from a different perspective so you can figure out what you (not her) are doing wrong in your relationship.

I found the site

Texas Penal Code § 16.02: So long as a wire, oral or electronic communication — including the radio portion of any cordless telephone call — is not recorded for a criminal or tortous purpose, anyone who is a party to the communication, or who has the consent of a party, can lawfully record the communication and disclose its contents.

Under the statute, consent is not required for the taping of a non-electronic communication uttered by a person who does not have a reasonable expectation of privacy in that communication. See definition of "oral communication," Texas Code Crim. Pro. Art. 18.20.

Unlawful recording of a conversation, or disclosure of its contents with reason to know of the illegal interception, is a felony punishable by two to 20 years in prison and a fine not to exceed $10,000. Texas Penal Code § 12.33. A civil cause of action is expressly authorized for unlawful interception or disclosure. Texas Civ. Prac. & Rem. Code § 123.002. The plaintiff may be entitled to $10,000 for each occurrence, actual damages in excess of $10,000, punitive damages and attorney fees and costs. Texas Civ. Prac. & Rem. Code § 123.004.

The U.S. Court of Appeals in New Orleans (5th Cir.) held in 2000 that a television station and reporter who had been given illegally obtained tapes of telephone conversations, but who had not participated in the illegal recording, could nonetheless be held civilly liable under the federal and Texas wiretapping statutes. Peavy v. WFAA-TV, Inc. 221 F.3d 158 (5th Cir. 2000). The case was appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court along with two other cases raising similar issues. The Supreme Court refused to hear the Texas case but decided in one of the other cases, Bartnicki v. Vopper, that media defendants could not be held liable for publishing information of public concern that was obtained unlawfully by a source where the media were blameless in the illegal interception. Following the Bartnicki decision, the parties in the Peavy case settled out of court. "Can We Tape?" (http://www.rcfp.org/taping/)

Is it possible to hire someone and have them followed? If you proved its true and you're still willing to save your marriage in spite of, visit a marriage counselor.

If you're thinking of divorcing her, consult a lawyer (with that evidence you got e.g phone calls, pictures) and see how adultery as a basis of divorce will have an impact on the division of property.
I'm finding out more & more. I just spoke to a cousin who said she called her daughter and said " So what if I'm with him, its' nobodys business". I confronted her about the original call she made, and she twisted the words around to say she was speaking w/ our Goddaughter about her wayward child! I have 3 people who give me proof, but hearsay won't stand up in Court. I'm going to start tape recording our calls, because shes' so stupid & disrespectful that she may admit it one day, because her brothers & family members are gangbangers, so she doesn't fear me hitting her (she hits me).. I'm just fuzzy on the laws for recording phone calls.

Why would you need proof in court? Is that what you are waiting for? I would contact a lawyer and see what your options are.

The writing is on the wall here. Waiting for a confession is futile. It is never going to happen. She knows that you are on to her - she may cover her tracks better.

Yeah why do you need proof for court. Just pack up/or pack her up and bye~bye!
Worry about court and all that later.
I agree with nowwhat often when the significant other knows you are on to them they take more precautions to cover up. When they think you are stupid they often get more careless.

Yeah why do you need proof for court. Just pack up/or pack her up and bye~bye!
worry about court and all that later.
I agree with nowwhat often when the significant other knows you are on to them they take more precautions to cover up. When they think you are stupid they often get more careless.
I posted this question in the wrong topic. I'm going to go put it in the Divorce topic. Thanks for all your support,and wish me luck!

NOHelp,
I just caught my wife and her lover having sex while I was at work by doing Audio recording. There's no doubt what occurred, but my Lawyer says it's inadmissable in court & illegal to record w/o consent in Illinois. Ain't this a B*#i&*th!!


I found the site

Texas Penal Code § 16.02: So long as a wire, oral or electronic communication — including the radio portion of any cordless telephone call — is not recorded for a criminal or tortous purpose, anyone who is a party to the communication, or who has the consent of a party, can lawfully record the communication and disclose its contents.

Under the statute, consent is not required for the taping of a non-electronic communication uttered by a person who does not have a reasonable expectation of privacy in that communication. See definition of "oral communication," Texas Code Crim. Pro. Art. 18.20.

Unlawful recording of a conversation, or disclosure of its contents with reason to know of the illegal interception, is a felony punishable by two to 20 years in prison and a fine not to exceed $10,000. Texas Penal Code § 12.33. A civil cause of action is expressly authorized for unlawful interception or disclosure. Texas Civ. Prac. & Rem. Code § 123.002. The plaintiff may be entitled to $10,000 for each occurrence, actual damages in excess of $10,000, punitive damages and attorney fees and costs. Texas Civ. Prac. & Rem. Code § 123.004.

The U.S. Court of Appeals in New Orleans (5th Cir.) held in 2000 that a television station and reporter who had been given illegally obtained tapes of telephone conversations, but who had not participated in the illegal recording, could nonetheless be held civilly liable under the federal and Texas wiretapping statutes. Peavy v. WFAA-TV, Inc., 221 F.3d 158 (5th Cir. 2000). The case was appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court along with two other cases raising similar issues. The Supreme Court refused to hear the Texas case but decided in one of the other cases, Bartnicki v. Vopper, that media defendants could not be held liable for publishing information of public concern that was obtained unlawfully by a source where the media were blameless in the illegal interception. Following the Bartnicki decision, the parties in the Peavy case settled out of court. "Can We Tape?" (http://www.rcfp.org/taping/)

While it may be inadmissible in court at least YOU do not have any doubts yourself now and know which way to go with things.

Yes, but I'm still screwed. She gets to stay in the house & get Alimony! I think she knows I taped her, so she's Extra careful now!


While it may be inadmissible in court at least YOU do not have any doubts yourself now and know which way to go with things.

I Caught HER!! I left a tape recorder under the couch, and heard her and her young lover having a ball!! Sadly, this made me happy. I told her I couldn't stand being around her and left the house. I can't use the recording in court because its illegal, but I let her know that I knew what was happenning.and I'll let the world know that she a scheming, conniiving whore. She had someone who the family trusted, and screwed him regularly for the past year while I was at work. She thinks she getting the house (Not!), and the car (not!), and she'll only get two years alimony, which I'll give to her in a lump sum. Thank You!

Yeah why do you need proof for court. Just pack up/or pack her up and bye~bye!
worry about court and all that later.
I agree with nowwhat often when the significant other knows you are on to them they take more precautions to cover up. When they think you are stupid they often get more careless.