Sorry for the long story but I need some serious advice with this...

All started around November... I was at the last class of high school where in the end of the year I was going to give some serious examinations in order to enter the university. Well there was a girl not in my main school but in another where I was going for extra lesson. We were not in the same class for a long time but somehow I fell in love with her. One friend of mine took her phone for a friend and he gave it to me(I did not ask for it though)... I started texting her in order to become familiar.

Well I learn she had a boyfriend but they had a relationship from distance. After about 20 days of texting we agreed to meet each other on a date. It was the first time to speak face to face.. We said a lot for ourselves and she told me that she appreciates my attention and she knows that a relationship in distance (which she already had) could not work. So I let her some days to think and tell me.

After 3-4 days she told me she likes me so we agreed to meet again. This time we agreed to be in a relationship and we made out... But the next day she seemed distant.. She told me that because of the examinations we could not have a serious relationship but something more "free"...

Well for some days we did not meet... But again we dated during Valentines where I bought her some gifts... We agreed again to be in a relationship but again she seemed distant. I told her via sms that I don't know what to do... and that when we were together she was perfect but after that she seemed like we don't know each other..

She told me for 3rd time that she wants to be with me but after 10 hours she texted me again and told me that she can't be in a relationship right not but she Does like me though.

I really got mad but I did not say anything. After some days I did not see her so I texted her to see if she was OK.

After about 20+ days. We met in a school party where again we made out. I was so happy again because I thought that all this situation was only because of the examinations.

For some days we did not have contact at all... But when I was about to leave for a trip, she texted me and told me to have nice time, to be careful , and that she always thinking of me no matter where I am..

When I got back I bought her some presents. Then she left for a trip and when she got back she brought a present for me.

I thought everything was OK and that we needed just 1-2 months to pass the examinations and have a serious relationship. After some days she had her birthday so again I bought her a present and have a birthday-cake surprise at school. She seemed so happy and I thought she really wants to be with me.

I did so much for her. After some days we had a break for Easter vacations. All this time we had to date from valentines. She had canceled at least 4-5 dates with me. Again in the vacations we arranged a date but again she canceled it. When we got back and had a lesson in the same class, one friend of mine heard her telling one friend of her that she had changed her number. I was in shock. I thought that after 1-2 days she would inform me. But nothing. After 1 week I had no news from her. I heard that she was very anxious because in one week we had the examinations.

I texted a friend of her telling her to tell me "GF" that she had to be calm and some things like that (advices in general) The next day I get a text message from my "GF" telling me that she had changed her number and some excuse. I told her my advice and things about how I feel about her (again! ).. she told me she feel too lucky to have me and things like that.

Well we talked one more time during examinations where she told me that I had not to be anxious for anything and soon we would be together.

After the exams I heard nothing from her. I did not text her in order to see what she would do.

About 30+ days passed and I received a message from her asking me how I was. I answered like I was a little "angry" at her and she told me that she knows that I would not like to talk to her and that she wishes me to be fine. Well I told her all my "problem" that she always told me we would be together when the same time she did not do anything. But she told me that she needs me. I asked her "how" she needs me. For at least 1 hours of text messaging she was not giving a straight answer about how she feels about me. Then she told me that if she makes a relationship she wants to be in love with the other person and she would not like to tell me something when she was not sure. She told me that she would like stay friends at least for now. I then told her that I should forget her and get on with my life. She then told me that she does like me and she is not sure about what to do.

She told me that whenever I want I could call her or arrange a date with her. I agreed to be friends with her and that some day we could meet in order to give her some books that I don't need but she does. Well 17 days have passed after the text conversation. I have to see her for over 1,5 month...

I am still deeply in love with her. I made so much things for her and I want her in my life. I know she does like me but she certainly does not love me. It confuses me the thing that from one hand she does not want to be in a relationship with me but on the other hand she does not want to lose me from her life.



What should I make? Is there anything I can do?

Sorry for the long story but I need some serious advice with this...

All started around November... I was at the last class of high school where in the end of the year I was going to give some serious examinations in order to enter the university. Well there was a girl not in my main school but in another where I was going for extra lesson. We were not in the same class for a long time but somehow I fell in love with her. One friend of mine took her phone for a friend and he gave it to me(I did not ask for it though)... I started texting her in order to become familiar.

Well I learn she had a boyfriend but they had a relationship from distance. After about 20 days of texting we agreed to meet each other on a date. It was the first time to speak face to face.. We said a lot for ourselves and she told me that she appreciates my attention and she knows that a relationship in distance (which she already had) could not work. So I let her some days to think and tell me.

After 3-4 days she told me she likes me so we agreed to meet again. This time we agreed to be in a relationship and we made out... But the next day she seemed distant .. She told me that because of the examinations we could not have a serious relationship but something more "free" ...

Well for some days we did not meet... But again we dated during Valentines where I bought her some gifts... We agreed again to be in a relationship but again she seemed distant. I told her via sms that I don't know what to do... and that when we were together she was perfect but after that she seemed like we don't know each other..

She told me for 3rd time that she wants to be with me but after 10 hours she texted me again and told me that she can't be in a relationship right not but she Does like me though.

I really got mad but I did not say anything. After some days I did not see her so I texted her to see if she was ok.

After about 20+ days. we met in a school party where again we made out. I was so happy again because I thought that all this situation was only because of the examinations.

For some days we did not have contact at all... But when I was about to leave for a trip, she texted me and told me to have nice time, to be careful , and that she always thinking of me no matter where I am..

When I got back I bought her some presents. Then she left for a trip and when she got back she brought a present for me.

I thought everything was OK and that we needed just 1-2 months to pass the examinations and have a serious relationship. After some days she had her birthday so again I bought her a present and have a birthday-cake surprise at school. She seemed so happy and I thought she really wants to be with me.

I did so much for her. After some days we had a break for Easter vacations. All this time we had to date from valentines. She had canceled at least 4-5 dates with me. Again in the vacations we arranged a date but again she canceled it. When we got back and had a lesson in the same class, one friend of mine heard her telling one friend of her that she had changed her number. I was in shock. I thought that after 1-2 days she would inform me. But nothing. After 1 week I had no news from her. I heard that she was very anxious because in one week we had the examinations.

I texted a friend of her telling her to tell me "GF" that she had to be calm and some things like that (advices in general) The next day I get a text message from my "GF" telling me that she had changed her number and some excuse. I told her my advice and things about how I feel about her (again!!) .. she told me she feel too lucky to have me and things like that.

Well we talked one more time during examinations where she told me that I had not to be anxious for anything and soon we would be together.

After the exams I heard nothing from her. I did not text her in order to see what she would do.

About 30+ days passed and I received a message from her asking me how I was. I answered like I was a little "angry" at her and she told me that she knows that I would not like to talk to her and that she wishes me to be fine. Well I told her all my "problem" that she always told me we would be together when the same time she did not do anything. But she told me that she needs me. I asked her "how" she needs me. For at least 1 hours of text messaging she was not giving a straight answer about how she feels about me. Then she told me that if she makes a relationship she wants to be in love with the other person and she would not like to tell me something when she was not sure. She told me that she would like stay friends at least for now. I then told her that I should forget her and get on with my life. She then told me that she does like me and she is not sure about what to do.

She told me that whenever I want I could call her or arrange a date with her. I agreed to be friends with her and that some day we could meet in order to give her some books that I don't need but she does. Well 17 days have passed after the text conversation. I have to see her for over 1,5 month...

I am still deeply in love with her. I made so much things for her and I want her in my life. I know she does like me but she certainly does not love me. It confuses me the thing that from one hand she does not want to be in a relationship with me but on the other hand she does not want to lose me from her life.



What should I make? Is there anything I can do?
OK,OK,OK, OK!! That story was long but here goes. She played with your emotions. Every time she saw you it was because you guys were away. She apparently thought by buying you a gift it would mend the broken heart that you was feeling. You did a lot for her but she couldn't give you the same in return so what she did was lead you on in a negative way. Instead of telling you from the beginning that she couldn't be in that relationship, she mistakenly lead you on. MOVE ON NOW. Your not going to be in a relationship with her. She never wanted that. From what your telling me. Good Luck.

You are so much in love with her, given some "hope" so you can't so you tend to expect and rush A BIT, which is understandable...




I am still deeply in love with her. I made so much things for her and I want her in my life. I know she does like me but she certainly does not love me. It confuses me the thing that from one hand she does not want to be in a relationship with me but on the other hand she does not want to lose me from her life.
What should I make? Is there anything I can do?

Possible things
1. She likes you but not really as a BF and she can't just drop you like a stone.
2. She's occupied to have a BF for now (even after "battery" exams).
3.Sh'es still mending a broken heart. How has it been since her last break up? Does she still in contact with him?

What to do:
1. Make yourself busy. Distance yourself, regain your toughness and turn down her invitations too.
2. Take what she said "FRIENDS FOR NOW". I guess you know how to act when your "just a friend." Give it a chance, who kniows?
3. You're giving your best, so you learn to know when to give up.

Thank you for your time... I am deeply in love with her... why then when I told her "if I could not make you fall in love with me until now, I will never do, so I have to move on ... etc etc" she said to me "please don't do that to me" and after I asked her "what I do which confuses you?" she told me that she is not sure , and she is interested in me, blah blah blah..

I was thinking of calling her in the end of the month just to learn how she is going and in order not to forget me... and the next month when she has her name-celebration I was thinking of asking her out and giving a her a small gift...

What you think?

You are so much in love with her, given some "hope" so you can't so you tend to expect and rush A BIT, which is understandable.

The problem is, she doesnt over yet with her recent relationship. How has it been since she broke up? Does she still in contact with him?

I certainly believe that you have a space for her its just it sounds like things are still confusing. Take what she said "FRIENDS FOR NOW" and wait a little. You sound too nice to her thats why she can't just drop you like a stone OR you may just MOVE ON. Its your call.

Well during our second date she told me that it was over with him. But after 15 days she told me that they broke up. In our 3rd date when I asked her she told me that he called her and asked her to forget it. And she also told me that they had a serious fight over phone. He is in another town so I don't think there is a possibility they met each other. As for the contact I suppose after the fight that it was over (I asked also a female friend of both)... But I can't be sure...

I really love her and I gave her everything. I have worried so much for her all the time. Always looking for her to be happy. She told me the last time we texted that she indeed did mistakes with our "relationship" and that she may seemed to be distant from me but she did cared and worried for me always..

I personally don't think she is a bad girl. But I think she handled the all thing in a no-mature way. And I also think she is a bit selfish because she did not tell me "forget me and move on" or something like that. She does not want a relationship but I think she wants me to remain in love with her

I was thinking of calling her in the end of the month just to learn how she is going and in order not to forget me... and the next month when she has her name-celebration I was thinking of asking her out and giving a her a small gift...what you think?


Would like to be used on a rebound? Let her chase you when she's done. You'll feel it that she's really done on her. baggage. You've done so much enough.Give yourself a break.

So what should I do? Just wait and don't do anything? She did contact the last time (via text message before 18 days) where we ended up as "friends"... Should I do the next contact approach? Or again wait for her?

[B]YOU'RE FRIENDS FOR NOW... So you may still speak to her but don't do anymore extra special. Just act casual. Regain your toughness this time. You know friends? You don't give flowers to your friends and text them every now and then, you know what I mean.

I understand but I don't meet her at all. If I want to speak to her I have to call her or text her. So last time she texted me. Should I be the next to call her and check how she is going? Or should I wait for her again to come? We may be friends but I can't see her as friend. I really love her and she understands that I do.

I understand but I don't meet her at all. If I want to speak to her I have to call her or text her. So last time she texted me. Should I be the next to call her and check how she is going? Or should I wait for her again to come? We may be friends but I can't see her as friend. I really love her and she understands that I do.

You can do either ways but again act normal, dont talk about "your friendship" because it confuses her more. She will open up things that she doesn't do when you're persisitently pursuing her.Please while in the process watch out a nd carefully gauge things.Its her way this time, I'm sorrry. If you want your way you can leave her anytime.

Thanks ylaira. Any more views on the subject please ?

Φιλαράκι,

τη πάτησες... Μπορείς να αντέξεις την πραγματικότητα?.

Το κάνει μέ άλλον.ΣΤΑΝΤΑΡ.Πιθανότατα κάποιο μαλάκα χασικλή.Σε γουστάρει αλλά οχι σαν άντρα,είστε πλέον φιλενάδες.
Εξαφανίσου άμεσα.Συμβαίνουν αυτά,είσαι μικρός ακόμα,θα μάθεις τί παίζει.Κάνε λίγο googling για ladder theory.Θα ξεκολλήσεις και γλιτώσεις πολλές μαλακίες.

Άντε και καλά αποτελέσματα,αν και με το μυαλό στο μο*νί,@@ θα γραψες...

Φιλαράκι,

τη πάτησες...Μπορείς να αντέξεις την πραγματικότητα?..

Το κάνει μέ άλλον.ΣΤΑΝΤΑΡ.Πιθανότατα κάποιο μαλάκα χασικλή.Σε γουστάρει αλλά οχι σαν άντρα,είστε πλέον φιλενάδες.
Εξαφανίσου άμεσα.Συμβαίνουν αυτά,είσαι μικρός ακόμα,θα μάθεις τί παίζει.Κάνε λίγο googling για ladder theory.Θα ξεκολλήσεις και γλιτώσεις πολλές μαλακίες.

Άντε και καλά αποτελέσματα,αν και με το μυαλό στο μο*νί,@@ θα γραψες...


Thanks file... OK dn nomizw na eisai toso xalia oso ta les... alla tespa :P... oso gia tis eksetaseis egrapsa mia xara eutixws :)... perasa ekei pou ithela...

I am deeply in love with her...

Sorry dude this ain't love. It an exercise in assumptions and false expectations. Her feeling don't match yours, so its all you give, and she takes. That's not love.

Read my signature

Never make a person a priority in your life, while allowing them to make you a option in theirs.

Sorry dude this ain't love. It an exercise in assumptions and false expectations. Her feeling don't match yours, so its all you give, and she takes. Thats not love.

Read my signature

Never make a person a priority in your life, while allowing them to make you a option in theirs.







I have to agree. You appear to be the one doing the stalking and she isn't feeling the same way your feeling. It clearly shows how she feels for you by the way she leads you one. Think twice before making a decision to give up everything for a woman that isn't feeling you.

So what is your point of view? She told me last time we talked (before 22 days) that she needs me... possibly for boosting her up...

But what should I do? Leave her and never do anything for her or try again to win her?

Take a break, and get back to your emotional center, and decide those questions on the basis of fact, and not feelings. That's a start.

Love is not a tingly, needy feeling, its two people who care enough to express themselves in an honest way, and work together to solve their problems, to the benefit of both.

Can you honestly say that's what's happening here?? Back off, and let the emotional dust settle, before you take another look to see what your course of actions should be.

Straight talk, your feelings are deeper than hers, and an unequal relationship seldom survives, nor is it healthy for either partner.

so what is your point of view? she told me last time we talked (before 22 days) that she needs me .... possibly for boosting her up...

but what should I do? leave her and never do anything for her or try again to win her?


No one is telling you to leave her. But the situation here is that she is never going to be with you. If she wanted to be with you she would have done that long long long time ago. You obviously love her but she isn't feeling the same. And the longer you keep doing for her she's going to keep playing you. I don't know her so I really can't speak for her but from what you are telling us, she is doing nothing but leading you on. She obviosly knows how you feel. She's not going to take your advancements because she isn't feeling the same way. I don't know what else to tell you or even how to explain what I am reading as a Player.

but what should I do? leave her and never do anything for her or try again to win her?
You got it. You're in love with your fantasy of who she is, and she's using your fawning attentions for an ego boost, but she doesn't love you. Stop punishing yourself.

You got it. You're in love with your fantasy of who she is, and she's using your fawning attentions for an ego boost, but she doesn't love you. Stop punishing yourself.

Stop pursueing the issue. Leave her alone. Do you get it.

Yeah.. I don't do anything for her at all... I had no contact with her for many days (last time she texted me)... You know some times, I just realize using my logic that is not worthy doing all these things for a person who doesn't feel the same... But when the "love feeling" covers me, I desperately I want to try to have her again...

Many friends males and females agree that I was too much nice to her, and that she was so lucky. She even said it to me when texted me once that she feels very lucky... but...


It's just the DAMN feeling that I will never find a girl who I will love and she will love me back. I know it sounds silly but I just feel like that, that never a girl will love me back..

I am 18 by the way :)

While your feeling are common, they are not true, as you will have many chances at love, and romance, and you must learn how to deal with those very intense feelings, in a positive logical way, least they betray you, and leave you in some embarrassing, humiliating positions, as you find yourself in now

What purpose can it serve, to love one that does not love you? Back off, and regroup, and leave her alone, no matter how strongly attracted you are.

So next time if she texts me should I text back ? Or it's better to ignore her completely?

Fwnaklas, so next time if she texts me should I text back ?

ABSOLUTELY NOT

or it's better to ignore her completely?
I prefer the term "dissappear from her life" either term you use stop the contact, for your own healing. It will also save your dignity and self respect a lot of misery, pain, drama, and confusion.

Hello... over one month of NC at all... well she hasn't made any try for contact either... but the fact is that we never had any serious communication so I suppose she doesn't get the hint..

Anyway just to let you know... before some days I was with some guy friends and we were coming back home on foot, and my friends told me that on the other side of the road was her with a boy... well it was night and we can't be sure if it was her, because from the 2 friends who passed next to her, one had seen her only on photo, and the other has a bit of myopia... but the 3rd friend who was on the other side of road with me told me that she was pretty much like her... they told me that the boy was much worse comparing to me...

Even if it was her or not, I guess that she may have another boyfriend by now...

Well I want to ask you something

In a few days it's her name "birthday", so should I text her about it? Showing her again how unique I was? Or should avoid it?

And also in the end of the month we will be in a pool party of a common friend... how should I act in front of her ?

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

As for how to act, act like a perfectly happy person who is better off without her... Because you are

Don't you think that it would be too rude of me not to say anything?

Don't you think it was rude of her to end it?

Well... she didn't actually end anything, because we didn't have a normal relationship as I wanted. I feel that she did play with my feelings not because she is a bad person but because she was immature and did not know what she want...

Damn I don't know... I just think that I will feel guilty if I don't do anything at her name's "birthday"...

STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR HER... You send that message, welcome back to step 1 of NC.. Constant wondering of what is going on

Well actually, I can feel that time heals my wounds... I don't know why, but I feel better day by day. Sometime I really want to text her, or find her, or just see her but later I feel much better.

I know that it may sounds silly, but day by day I feel more free from her. I am still thinking of her everyday, but it becomes less while time pass..

I don't know for sure, but I suppose that if I text her even just to tell her happy name's birthday, I will put her again in my mind and I will think again of her more and more... and maybe even gain some hope again..

I have to make myself believe that the best is to avoid her at all...

Damn.. it's somehow difficult to forget a girl forever...

damn.. it's somehow difficult to forget a girl forever...
You got that right buddy, but realize it works the other way around, as we fellows are as hard for them to completely forget too. Hehehehehehe!

I have to say right off that I didn't read all the posts, too many. ;)

Starby's Lil Bro, I have to say this, this girl is using you, she may not be doing it on purpose, but she is doing it.

She wants you around just in case, you are her security blanket, but she's not in love, and never will be.

Move on, find someone who gives you the same attention as you give her. There are tons of girls out there that would love to have a nice guy like you around. Girls that will make you as much a priority as you do them.

Forget this girl, go to no contact, move on, find someone else. :)

Oh, and listen to Tal, he knows what he's talking about. :)

If I was in your shoes, I'd ignore her and find a new girl. Obviously, she's cheating behind her boyfriends' back already by making out.

I have to say right off that I didn't read all the posts, too many. ;)

Starby's Lil Bro, I have to say this, this girl is using you, she may not be doing it on purpose, but she is doing it.

She wants you around just in case, you are her security blanket, but she's not in love, and never will be.

Move on, find someone who gives you the same attention as you give her. There are tons of girls out there that would love to have a nice guy like you around. Girls that will make you as much a priority as you do them.

Forget this girl, go to no contact, move on, find someone else. :)

Oh, and listen to Tal, he knows what he's talking about. :)


Thanks alty for advice... we I can't believe that she was such a bad girl and wanted to hurt me, but I think she was selfish and hurt me like that... She didn't want to be in relationship with me but when I told her that I have to move on and continue with my life she said "don't do that to me now"... It really shows that she was not sure of what she wants... But the fact that she really treat me badly.. I know that I was so good at her and gave her all the care and attention I was looking for, but she just "played" with my feelings... Well I am in no contact with her for 2 months now and I have to see her since may... The fact is that sometimes, something happens and she comes to my mind when I least expect it...

I really think I am over her but I don't know how I'll be if I see her somewhere or if she texts me.. I don't want to get distracted...


If I was in your shoes, I'd ignore her and find a new girl. Obviously, she's cheating behind her boyfriends' back already by making out.

Well she had a relationship from distance and she knew that he was cheating her too... But that was the last thing I was worried for... She treated me badly and she hurt me really bad...

Well she had a relationship from distance and she knew that he was cheating her too... But that was the last thing I was worried for... She treated me badly and she hurt me really bad...

You need to step up and find a new girl!

Lil Bro, don't be too hard on yourself if you think about her once in a while. You cared about her, and it's natural for her to pop in to your mind once in a while. It's only been 2 months. I think that you're doing great, just keeping looking forward, don't look back. What's in the past should be left there, and she is in the past.

You're still young, you will have many loves in your life, and then, one day, you'll meet the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with, and the wonderful thing will be that she feels the same way. You deserve to have someone that loves you as much as you love her, and you will find her, one day. :)

Stick to NC, don't give up, and remember, we're here if you need to talk. We've all been through this before, and we know how much it hurts and how hard it is. We've been down that road, so we can help you on your journey.

Chin up, shoulders squared, look straight ahead and keep walking, you're doing great! :)

You need to step up and find a new girl!

One day he will. Right now he needs to heal his heart. Jumping from the frying pan in to the fire is never a good idea. A "new girl" isn't going to fix anything, a rebound never lasts.

He needs to take his time, not rush into another relationship just to fill a void.

One day he will. Right now he needs to heal his heart. Jumping from the frying pan in to the fire is never a good idea. A "new girl" isn't going to fix anything, a rebound never lasts.

He needs to take his time, not rush into another relationship just to fill a void.

True~ he needs some time to himself =]

To quote Forgetting Sarah Marshall

"When life gives you lemons, just say F the lemons and bounce."

This girl can't give you the answers your looking for, no use wasting your time trying anything with her when you're just going to be dissapointed each time.

Some times we all have to learn this the hard way.

Ignore her, even if she messages you.

Thank you all for your responses... If you were watching how I act everyday the last 1,5 month you would see that I don't concern with her anymore... I do have feelings for her still but I don't text her, or try to find her, or speak with her or anything... I try to avoid having her in my life..

I think a new girl would be the best... but not a girl just for making out or something similar... If someone was watching my "relationship" with the girl I mention in my story would say that these 2 teens like each other and they make out from time to time.. but it was not like that... I really had feelings for her and I tried to have a relationship with her but not worked...

Well my amhd profile says that I have not post something nowadays... so let me describe you in a few words how the days goo...

She is back with her boyfriend from distance... they are happy together... I am all alone thinking of her everyday and listening from mutual friends what she does in her life... and how happy she is...

How worse could it be :S... lucky me... I am so lucky guy... all now are a deep... :S...

I heard all of you saying "that you will have many chances and things like I that" I really respect your views... but in my situation I think it does not apply... 1 year after the first "burn' with her and still not even 1 chance... not even 1 :S...

And about that karma... I thought that you take what you give... I gave love and care.. I take sadness and dissapointment everyday... she gave false hope, fooled me, played with me and she takes love and happyness being in a relationship...

Sounds fair to me...

Thank you all for reading my stupidity... good day to everyone.. don't take me for a bad guy I just had to tell how I feel now :S... thank you again for your support...

Erase her from your life and DO NOT try and dig for information about her life. You need to rebuild your life and quit worrying about hers. She doesn't matter. You do.

Sorry for your loss, and hope you are enjoying sitting on your pity pot crying the blues.

After all this time you haven't moved your a$$ forward with your life, and made some adjustments with your attitude, and actions, that's all your fault pal.

don't take me for a bad guy I just had to tell how I feel!!

Why it's my fault? Why is my fault that never a woman felt in love with me? This is my fault?

All that long I have not made not even one attempt to contact her... and out of nothing the past few weeks I met her many times...

I started thinking of her again... it's my fault that I still love her?

"sitting on my pity?" I don't really get it... Everyday I am out... with friends, boys and girls, many people... I am not inside house "crying" not even 1 day... I am always out, I am always living my life, going to gym, etc...

Every group of friends I have has great time with me and they laugh too much , and I don't say these to praise myself but just to show you that I go out and try to be funny and have nice time... And I always make people laugh and laugh myself too...

But when I am alone home thinking of everything... then I go down... (sometimes)...

What can I do ? Staying out all day? Never stay alone?
Of course is my fault not to have a woman fell in love with me ever... I just can't explain why is my fault?.

I started thinking of her again... it's my fault that I still love her?

It's your fault that you won't give up thinking about her, you won't move on. You're beating a dead horse, it's time to stop.

Love isn't something you can order, it isn't something that you can demand. It's either there, or it isn't. You just haven't met someone that feels that way, not yet.

You're in such a hurry to fall in love, live happily ever after that you aren't living in the now, in the day to day.

You're obsessing about this one failed attempt at a relationship and because of that you aren't moving on.

It's been over 4 months since you first posted this and you haven't made any progress. Why is that? Are you just unwilling to move on?

This is up to you, not us, not the girl, but you. You either continue the way you are right now, or you move on. Which will it be?

I know alty that there is not future with that girl... I just feel jealous and frustrated with how things are right now... Because it's not fair to me... Because she is living happily in a relationship whereas I am all alone in the love department...

What you mean move on? In order to finally move on you need another person to get you out of there completely... You need a partner...

What I need is a girl to love me and love her back... That's all...

Anyway I don't really know what's the "problem" in my situation... But I think that these 4 months I try hard to move on... maybe the last 2 weeks I am down again...

I doubt I can do something... I think that 4 months now I did whatever I could...

I just have to accept it that is not "written" for me to enjoy relationships and find love...

What can we do about it :P... nothing... :)... thank you anyway for your comments and support...

What you mean move on? In order to finally move on you need another person to get you out of there completely... You need a partner...

Not true, in order to move on you have to learn to love yourself and learn not to rely on someone else for your happiness. Until you can learn to do that, you won't ever have a successful relationship.


What I need is a girl to love me and love her back... That's all...

What you need is to learn to be more independent. You are so obsessed with love that you're pushing everyone away. No one wants a guy that can't live without them. Women want a man that loves them but can also stand on his own. You think that love will fix everything in your life, but it won't.


I just feel jealous and frustrated with how things are right now... Because it's not fair to me... Because she is living happily in a relationship whereas I am all alone in the love department...

How is it not fair to you? She doesn't owe you anything. She has a right to happiness, it doesn't have to be with you.


I doubt I can do something... I think that 4 months now I did whatever I could...

No, for 4 months you've been hoping that she would be miserable without you, finally realize that you're the one and come back to you. Or you where hoping that at least she'd just be miserable. That's not doing whatever you can.

You are your own worst enemy. Until you can let go of the belief that you need love in order to be happy, you'll never find love. It's really that simple.

What you mean move on? In order to finally move on you need another person to get you out of there completely... You need a partner...


This is your problem, you need someone else to make you happy instead of learning to love yourself, and have something good to share with another.

That makes you attractive to others, not the `"woe is me crap".

Sorry to be so harsh, but the last thing you need is coddling!!

I'm going to be blunt and say that you have taken self pity to a whole other lvl. Really.


I know alty that there is not future with that girl... I just feel jealous and frustrated with how things are right now.... Because it's not fair to me... Because she is living happily in a relationship whereas I am all alone in the love department...

I get that you are jealous seeing as someone else are with the girl you want, but you can't blame her for not wanting you. Fact: Sometimes we fall for someone who have fallen for us. Fact: sometimes we fall for someone who doesn't want us. Either way you can't blame the other person for your unhappiness. The only one who has control over your life is you and you seriously need to accept the fact that this girl is with someone else and although your not in a relationship right now, that is not her fault.


What you mean move on? In order to finally move on you need another person to get you out of there completely.... You need a partner...

No you do NOT need another person to pull you out of that tiny hole you've put yourself in: The only one who can save you, is.... YOU!!

And you can not expect someone to save you in this.

Like alty said, you need to learn how to love yourself, you need to be happy with you and to MOVE ON! We can offer you advice, we can give you support, but when it all comes down to it you have to take the advice and move on.


What I need is a girl to love me and love her back.... That's all....

Most people wants love, someone who loves them and whom they can love back, but once again I really want to stress that you need to learn how to love yourself.

I sincerely hope you will just start moving on! And that you will stop asking for info on this girl it will just make matters worse.

1. do you really want to know?
2. Does it make matters any better?
3. do you really feel that you have a right to know?

First of all I want to thank everyone for taking time and commenting for me really helpful views...
I just want to say something to defend myself... From all the replies you say that it's not the girl's fault to be pity about her... It's all her fault because we had something like an open relationship and she fulled me with hopes of something better so she was the one who made me fall so deeply in love with her and that's why I am in such mood for her...

Anyway I guess you must be right being happy just from yourself but many times I feel terrible for myself...

How can I be happy when I see people 2-3 years younger than me (15, 16 years old) having relationships, and many of them good relationships... When myself at my age I never had one...

I just feel "not-normal"... for not having a relationship at my age... and it's not the fact that I don't have one now... it's the fact that I never had one proper relationship... and even with that girl it was something very open and "stupid"...

Also I have to say that I never seemed sad or desperate for love in anyone except my closed-friends... Most people see me as a very funny guy and a good guy.. that's all... And also I never became clingy with her so as to turn her off... I never allow myself to seem clingy or anything like that...

Anyway thank you all for your comments... I hope that my brain will take your advices carefully and make some progress on me...

I just feel "not-normal"... for not having a relationship at my age... and it's not the fact that I don't have one now... it's the fact that I never had one proper relationship

I met my husband when we were both 19, that's not the norm. Most people don't find their "true love" until they're much older.

Yes I had relationship before I met hubby, but not good relationships.

Being with someone just for the sake of having someone isn't healthy, it's desperate.

Dating is fine, go out, have fun, but realize that not every girl you meet is going to fall in love with you or want a forever with you.


It's all her fault because we had something like an open relationship and she fulled me with hopes

Is there a ring on her finger from you? A marriage certificate? Did you pledge your undying love to each other and promise never to part? If not then she has every right to move on.

From what I read you two barely even had a relationship, you hardly ever met in person.

You're young, this is just one of many bumps in the road, but I suggest that you finish going over this bump and stop backtracking.

The longer you obsess about this, the longer it will take for you to get on with your life. Jealousy, anger, sadness about something you can't change is just a waste of time.

I hope you do find your way, but remember, that's up to you and only you, no one else is going to give you happiness if you can't find it within yourself.

Good luck. :)

You are right alty and thank you again for your time... But you know... there are times when I think logically and I don't want to know anything about her...

But there are times that my curiosity and anger about her lead me to find out things (from mutual friend) about her that drive me crazy and make me sad...

I am so stupid that I even consider the chance of when they are going to meet again (they have a long distance relationship) I would like to fall on them so as to see them...

Just my stupidity :-S... I don't know what's wrong :-P...

I might be a little cynical (hehe no wait I know I am) but I don't think there is just one possible partner out there for you. (or me or anyone), but some are more compatible than others.

you do seem a little desperate, but if I calculate correctly (2-3 years younger = 15, 16 year olds) that would make you 18... you're young and you have a whole life of possible relationships or a relationship ahead of you. You are in no hurry.

but you should really start with the dating like alty suggests and try to look for what you like in other people, what you would like in a potential girlfriend etc. and of course you should not read every positive thing from a girl as she is going to be yours forever... girls can be nice to guys without having a secret or sexual intention etc.

I really do hope you're going to think about all the advice you've gotten.

seriously, I'm 7 years older than you and sure I have two relationships behind me, but I don't really know what I want. I still need to figure that out. Its all apart of living I guess... so don't be stressed out about it.

just relax and see where life takes you!

good luck though! :)

And what you mean dating? Asking girls out just the to us... All things are much easier for you women :P... After all I am bit shy guy... Asking a girl out is like I have something for her..

"Attacking" girls at bars and clubs... I have a chance a week ago... but I was afraid a bit and didn't make my move :-S...

Don't sweat it man. I am a bit shy too, but don't let that inhibit your ability to have a decent conversation with a women. So many drunk a$$es go up to girls at bars, but rarely can they even manage a decent and compelling conversation. If you can at least talk to a women and have an intellectual and casual conversation, then ride with it. You don't always need to get the digits to 'score.'

All things are much easier for you women

You don't think it's hard for women to approach men? You're wrong, it is.

Rejection isn't easy for anyone, and putting yourself out there, risking getting hurt, that's never easy.

The fact is, if you don't ask you won't get. Sure, the girl might say no, but then again, she might say yes.


"Attacking" girls at bars and clubs

I really hope that this was just translated wrong. ;)

Attacking means : To set upon with violent force. To criticize strongly or in a hostile manner.

No I mean is easier for you women because you just sit and wait from the man to do the rest... you relax and have 5-6 men asking for your number... that's pretty easy :P...

And secondly when I say "attacking" women I mean... trying to find women in bars and clubs... :p... of course nothing to do with violence...

Kc: good suggestion! Personally I prefer the casual or intellectual conversation over sleezy drunk men who say cheezy stuff like: have I seen you before, you look like salma hayek (haha you might have beer goggles, but come on)

Alty: so true it isn't easier for us than for men... b\c you do risk rejection. It took me weeks to toughen up to tell this guy that I liked that I liked him and he rejected me... (hehe which is fine by the way I was just happy that I dared to.)

Fw: hehe I wish it was that easy. I'm more of a hunter then anything else (MAN did that sound bad), hopefully you get what I mean. I'm not really one for waiting around. Besides I like the challenge.

Ps" I take back the thing about: have I seen you before as sleezy... a better suggestion is: I have a brand new bed, want to try it out?

Yes I've had men approach me, but I've never been one to sit around and wait. Back when I was single (many, many, many years ago;)) I had no problem going up to a guy and talking to him, still don't, I'm a notorious flirt. ;)

It's just as hard for women, maybe even more. How would you feel if you had 5-6 guys coming up to you, buying you drinks, asking for your number, sometimes harassing you? It can go downhill pretty quick.


of course nothing to do with violence...

Phew, you had me worried there for a minute. ;)

Yes I've had men approach me, but I've never been one to sit around and wait. Back when I was single (many, many, many years ago;)) I had no problem going up to a guy and talking to him, still don't, I'm a notorious flirt. ;)
So true. I'm a notorious flirt as well, even when I don't mean to be. My best friend showered me with compliments yesterday (yes to a blushing point)


I have no problems talking with guys, but it still is hard.... especially if you like someone, like: like, like. :p
It's just as hard for women, maybe even more. How would you feel if you had 5-6 guys coming up to you, buying you drinks, asking for your number, sometimes harrassing you? It can go downhill pretty quick.

Hehe that can be very hard for a woman!

hehe that can be very hard for a woman!

We do have it tough, don't we? ;)

Yes we do ;)

Aκόμα ρε φίλε?.

I have a question for you : are you a man?
STEP 1 : Please take a moment to check between your legs.You are supposed to find stuff hanging there...

Now,I don't mean to be harsh,no wait,I do,but aren't you a poster boy for the turning-gay-next-week club?

LISTEN

A MΑN LEADS,doesn't follow
A MAN ACTS,doesn't re-act
A MAN WANTS,but doesn't need sh!t
A MAN MOVES THE F.. K ON WITH HIS LIFE
A MAN CAN FACE THE TRUTH
A MAN IS IN CONTROL OF HIS FEELINGS,not the other way around
A MAN TAKES RESPONSIBILITY AND DOESN'T BLAME LUCK,SOCIETY,THE GOVERNMENT,GOD,HIS DOG OR ANYONE
ELSE FOR HIS OWN F.. K UPS


.. but if you were a man,you wouldn't be in this f-ing mess in the first place,you would be too busy having sex.

But hey,maybe you're on to something here,maybe you're just a closet gay case,maybe you're just envious of her because she has a boyfriend and you don't.

Which brings us back to STEP 1..

Aκόμα ρε φίλε?..

I have a question for you : are you a man?
STEP 1 : Please take a moment to check between your legs.You are supposed to find stuff hanging there...

Now,i don't mean to be harsh,no wait,I do,but aren't you a poster boy for the turning-gay-next-week club?

LISTEN

A MΑN LEADS,doesn't follow
A MAN ACTS,doesn't re-act
A MAN WANTS,but doesn't need sh!t
A MAN MOVES THE F..K ON WITH HIS LIFE
A MAN CAN FACE THE TRUTH
A MAN IS IN CONTROL OF HIS FEELINGS,not the other way around
A MAN TAKES RESPONSIBILITY AND DOESN'T BLAME LUCK,SOCIETY,THE GOVERNMENT,GOD,HIS DOG OR ANYONE
ELSE FOR HIS OWN F..K UPS


..but if you were a man,you wouldn't be in this f-ing mess in the first place,you would be too busy having sex.

But hey,maybe you're on to something here,maybe you're just a closet gay case,maybe you're just envious of her because she has a boyfriend and you don't.

Which brings us back to STEP 1..

Wow, and I don't mean that in a good way.

What they heck?

What you just described isn't the work of a man, but the work of a little boy. Grow up!

Wow, and I don't mean that in a good way.

What they heck?

What you just described isn't the work of a man, but the work of a little boy. Grow up!

No,actually,that is what a man is supposed to be like and what every woman will respond to,regardless of all the "I just want a nice,sensitive guy" BS women say.

And I don't blame anyone here,it's just nature.

How is taking responsibility for your life boyish exactly?
And anyway,what this guy needs is a slap in the face to wake him up from all the disillusion and the self pity hole he dug himself in.Patronizing won't help.Enough with the hypocrisy.

No maybe a GIRL responds to that "manly" behavior but a WOMAN responds to a respectable, responsible well mannered MAN!

Since when is it unmanly to show emotion? This isn't the movies where guys can just hide their emotions. What you describe is a heartless person, someone who can give everything they have to a relationship and have it end and feel nothing, that's the true BS! I have no shame is saying that when my last relationship ended, I shed some tears, because it was the ending of part of my life and I knew that. We are not always totally to blame for it falling about, they take two to fall apart in most cases.