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kulek
Jul 14, 2008, 12:00 PM
Hi all

Have anyone here ever been forced to love somebody? What the forced love is? Can some one be forced to love?

Emland
Jul 14, 2008, 12:02 PM
How can you be forced to love someone? I can see being forced into marriage, but not love.

kulek
Jul 14, 2008, 12:07 PM
I'm completely agree with you. But it happens to me.

N0help4u
Jul 14, 2008, 12:20 PM
How are you forced into love?

kulek
Jul 14, 2008, 12:30 PM
There are somebodies which puts pressure upon me to love her.

N0help4u
Jul 14, 2008, 12:37 PM
If you have no feelings for her then tell her you are not interested.
She can not force you to like her. If you force yourself to like somebody you will be miserable.
How old are you and how old is she?

kulek
Jul 14, 2008, 12:41 PM
Both 20. Agree with you. I'm looking for a way to break free.

N0help4u
Jul 14, 2008, 12:44 PM
Break free from what?
What has she gotten you into so far?
Just coaxing you so far or what?

kulek
Jul 14, 2008, 12:52 PM
We fall apart 2 years ago. But it continues yet. Seems like never ending cycle. She fools me in anywhere. I told her that I don't want her at several times. But now I'm forced to love her.

N0help4u
Jul 14, 2008, 12:56 PM
You are not forced to love her unless you start going out with her and giving her the impression that you DO care. Avoid giving into her. You fell apart a couple years ago you will again. If she is 'forcing you' she probably hasn't learned from before and will be the same.

talaniman
Jul 14, 2008, 01:05 PM
That's not love, that's stalking and should be dealt with by the authorities. Why are you letting her do this to you??

Alty
Jul 14, 2008, 01:40 PM
Time to got to No Contact. Tell her the truth, that you don't love her and want to move on, and then do it! Stop trying to be or do something that you don't want to. Move on and tell her it's over. How long are you going to let this last, until you two get married?

Good luck.

Chery
Jul 14, 2008, 01:52 PM
There are somebodies which puts pressure upon me to love her.

OK kulek... Is this a cultural issue? Or are the parents of this girl pressuring you by threatening your life?

If it is a cultural issue, maybe you could run away to another country and start over.

If it is a family pressure issue, I would still try to find another country in which to start over.

You don't need this type of terrorism in your life and nobody has a right to force you into doing anything you are against - no matter where you are.

Give us some more information and maybe we can find a more definitive solution for you.

Good luck dear, and stay with us.

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kulek
Jul 15, 2008, 12:54 PM
Altenweg, she knows that I don't love her and don't want her back. I told it year ago. That is why I say that they are forcing me to love her. Only things she do is fooling me everywhere.

Chery, I think it can happen to everyone of us. I regret that it happened to me.

N0help4u
Jul 15, 2008, 01:05 PM
Who is forcing you?
What are they forcing you to do besides wanting you to go with her?

smokedetector
Jul 15, 2008, 01:28 PM
Where are you posting from? What country?

Chery
Jul 16, 2008, 04:20 AM
Altenweg, she knows that I don't love her and don't want her back. I told it year ago. That is why I say that they are forcing me to love her. Only things she do is fooling me everywhere.

Chery, I think it can happen to everyone of us. I regret that it happened to me.
Sorry, but if you don't answer the basic questions I posted, I cannot help you because just what you post is childish and not enough for anyone to give you serious and proper advice. I'm out of this one.

Just one more thing.. tell her you are gay and maybe that will solve your problem.

Alty
Jul 16, 2008, 12:45 PM
I have to agree with Chery. You aren't answering the questions we've asked, and we need that info in order to give you an informed accurate response.

Where do you live?

Is this a cultural thing?

Is this an arranged relationship?

Until we get some answers, we cannot give you one.

Good luck.

N0help4u
Jul 16, 2008, 12:47 PM
Sounds to me like he is just feeling pressured and obligated by some of the comments he made

Alty
Jul 16, 2008, 12:51 PM
sounds to me like he is just feeling pressured and obligated by some of the comments he made

Then he needs to get a backbone and end this relationship, or do nothing and end up marrying someone he doesn't love.

OP, we can't tell you what to do, especially since you aren't willing to do what we advise. The balls in your court, only you can tell her that you are done, only you can end the relationship and only you can move on. We can't do that for you.

If you feel pressured and trapped, then you have to break free.

Good luck.

kulek
Jul 16, 2008, 01:43 PM
My country is Turkey. How I know we have no such cultural thing.

Thing happened two years ago. I met this girl in a place where I worked. Everyday she come to me. I liked her and I said that I want to be her friend and she said that she liked me too. We have about 3 month relationship. Then when we entered to university she said that she don't want to continue our relationship. I said her that I like her and don't want to loose her. She said that she don't wants relationship and we stopped our relationship. After it I never call her. Then some month ago she come back to me and said that she wants me back. I said that I don't want her anymore. A few days after it some boys said me that she love me and I must love her too. If I will not do it myself they will force me. And now I'm under pressure it. Several times I said that I don't want her anymore. But she don't want to understand that I don't love her anymore.

smokedetector
Jul 16, 2008, 01:48 PM
Tell her you've moved on. Those boys have no power over you. They can't tell you who to love.

N0help4u
Jul 16, 2008, 01:49 PM
Tell her it was her decision to leave you and now she can live with her choice.
What do these guy friends of hers think they are going to do to force you to like her.
The only thing I can think if they really could force you to be with her is to be somebody that she doesn't want then she can break up with you again.

talaniman
Jul 16, 2008, 03:22 PM
Call a cop, or police.

Chery
Jul 17, 2008, 10:53 AM
There are no 'cultural issues' in Turkey?? OK, if you say so. My Turkish friends here tell me different.

If she gets her family and friends involved and will not believe you when you say you don't want anything to do with her - you are shaming her and you know it, even if you are justified. But she feels shamed and has her friends on her side. In this case it does not matter if she broke with you first... she has more support though.

The only thing I can suggest here is that you talk to her family and friends... and keep a lot of your own friends around you - and maybe get them to talk to her. You need to clear this up or continue to live in fear.

The police will not get involved in affairs of the heart and cannot protect you from retribution from her friends, so you need to get help or move.

Sorry this happened, but it takes two to get into trouble, just be more careful next time.

Good luck.
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kulek
Jul 22, 2008, 02:26 AM
Thank you all. I really don't need her. Hope it will stop some time.