View Full Version : How to overcome this?
chukur
Jul 14, 2008, 03:58 AM
I want to improve my overall personality. Sometimes I feel very depressed. I am not able to take decisions with the fear they'll go wrong. This is why I've bcome somewhat dependent on others. I do not have much confidence in myself. I feel inferiority complex. I care about others but am not able 2 judge them. I want to get rid of all these problems and want to live an independent and peaceful life. I want to become confident. Help.
N0help4u
Jul 14, 2008, 05:38 AM
What kind of decisions do you have a hard time making?
Why do you have a hard time making them? Because you worry too much how others will like your decision?
What do you mean by not being able to judge people? Do you mean that you end up befriending the wrong crowd type people?
n252911
Jul 14, 2008, 06:30 AM
Chukur.. I Hear You!! I Suffer From The Same Thing And More... wish I Could Help
chukur
Jul 14, 2008, 08:13 AM
I face problems in taking decisions because I don't know what will be their consequences. The decisions can be like whether to say "no" or whether to join some institute or not or sth. By judging people I mean I trust them easily and sometimes they use me. How to judge them... I can't read anyone's mind...
N0help4u
Jul 14, 2008, 08:22 AM
You have to figure out what you want and what you like and go for it.
Like if you decide you want to join the Y or a spa to exercise and swim visit some and get a tour. Notice if you have positive or negative 'vibes' when they give you a walk through of the place. Compare them and decide WHICH one you felt most suitable.
When people ask you for favors ask yourself things like
Is this taking away from me, my time, my money?
Do I want to drop what I am doing and run for them?
If I lend them this cup of sugar or let them borrow a few dollars does it matter if I never get it back?
Are they becoming a nuisance because I gave them a ride once and now they seem to rely on me for rides every time?
Do I feel obligated to them when they ask for a favor?
If your answers reflect that they are taking advantage of you put a stop to it.
If they are bad company put a stop to it.
Only bother with people to the extent you feel comfortable
You do not owe them anything. You are not obligated to them.
Choux
Jul 15, 2008, 03:32 PM
YOu have to get out in the world and live... start by getting a job if you are a student. Nothing give a person confidence like a good hard working job that uses up physical energy, a job where you meet all kinds of people and interact with them.
The world is a big place full of all kinds of people to learn about, people to learn to love, people to share with, to laugh and to enjoy... the way to build self-confidence is to *do* as much as possible; we learn from what we do, not what we think.
Folks will see that you are confused, socially shy or a perfectionist or whatever, and they will befriend you anyway... each of us is in the same boat, relatively.
Best wishes to you going forward, :)