Hey I wanted to ask anyone's opinion on still being a virgin at 19 and not having a girlfriend. Yeah I honestly think it sucks for me because it is very unfair. All my friends have relationships and look very happy and constantly talk about their relationships with one another. When they talk about it I feel so left out and stay quiet because I have nothing to contribute to the conversation. It really feels horrible especially when I say that they are too young to really know what love is because most of them are in high school. They disagree and say that I am wrong and always use the same defense and say " how many girls have you had" and there is silence because it makes me feel like I am worthless. What gets me angry is these so called friends I have think they are always right and believe that having a girl is a panacea to their problems. I feel so lonely and sad because of this. I only have one real friend who accepts me for who I am and does not look at the "girls I have had". My friends constantly keep talking about getting girls and how good they look. They judge me and tell me that I should change who I am. Every time I try to defend myself I lose because of the constant "at least I gotta girl" line. I cannot say that I cannot relate and at the moment I have no girls in mind who like me or even notice I exist. I feel that having a relationship will be great for me but I won't take it to be a life long thing because I am still young and have to live my life. I use the excuse that I don't have a girl because I am focused on school but it makes me look like a loser. It just makes me mad when other people are shocked that I don't have a girl friend and still a virgin at 19 because I am very honest about myself and don't try to hide it. People in my building are very negative about it as well. Some think I want to become a priest and some think I am gay. I am surrounded by ignorance because the ideal man is someone who fights and is tough who gets many girls. I don't meet those requirements. I live a great life I have a family who loves me for who I am and I don't have to worry about money or anything because they have my back. I believe I have a horrible social life because I am never seen with girls. It hurts me deep inside but there are more things to life than having a girlfriend. I truly want to have a relationship but I am too nervous, shy, and unconfident. I would not know what to do. I feel I am just worthless and I have fear of not ever having a girl and being a virgin for the rest of my life. I know I am still young but I am getting older quick. Honestly I have liked many girls in the past but was to nervous to even talk to them. I am lost and I feel no one can help me. I hope this phase in my life changes.

1. I know plenty of guys that have never had girlfriends... even at 22.

2. Those guys that are 19 and are claiming they're in love... most of them will eventually be on this thread asking, "My girlfriend wants a break...what do I do?!?"

Having a girlfriend isn't a self esteem booster... many guys think that once they have a girl, then they'll feel really good about themselves... and that's where the problem is. It's like having a really nice car. Sure, if you drive around in an Aston Martin, you feel like a bada$$... but really, if you're not stable yourself, it means nothing. Sooner or later, the car will break down (the girl will leave... ) and then you're left at the same place.

However, I do advise that perhaps you can work on your confidence. Nothing wrong with not having a girlfriend, but who's to say that you can't have some fun by simply talking to some girls, right?

Hey I wanted to ask anyones opinion on still being a virgin at 19 and not having a girlfriend. Yeah I honestly think it sucks for me because it is very unfair. All my friends have relationships and look very happy and constantly talk about their relationships with one another. When they talk about it I feel so left out and stay quiet because I have nothing to contribute to the conversation. It really feels horrible especially when I say that they are too young to really know what love is because most of them are in high school. They disagree and say that I am wrong and always use the same defense and say " how many girls have you had" and there is silence because it makes me feel like I am worthless. What gets me angry is these so called friends I have think they are always right and believe that having a girl is a panacea to their problems. I feel so lonely and sad because of this. I only have one real friend who accepts me for who I am and does not look at the "girls I have had". My friends constantly keep talking about getting girls and how good they look. They judge me and tell me that I should change who I am. Every time I try to defend myself I lose because of the constant "at least I gotta girl" line. I cannot say that I cannot relate and at the moment I have no girls in mind who like me or even notice I exist. I feel that having a relationship will be great for me but I won't take it to be a life long thing because I am still young and have to live my life. I use the excuse that I don't have a girl because I am focused on school but it makes me look like a loser. It just makes me mad when other people are shocked that i don't have a girl friend and still a virgin at 19 because I am very honest about myself and don't try to hide it. People in my building are very negative about it as well. Some think I want to become a priest and some think I am gay. I am surrounded by ignorance because the ideal man is someone who fights and is tough who gets many girls. I don't meet those requirements. I live a great life I have a family who loves me for who I am and I don't have to worry about money or anything because they have my back. I believe I have a horrible social life because i am never seen with girls. It hurts me deep inside but there are more things to life than having a girlfriend. I truly want to have a relationship but I am too nervous, shy, and unconfident. I would not know what to do. I feel I am just worthless and I have fear of not ever having a girl and being a virgin for the rest of my life. I know i am still young but I am getting older quick. Honestly I have liked many girls in the past but was to nervous to even talk to them. I am lost and I feel no one can help me. I hope this phase in my life changes.


Don't feel like a loser because the media and the overwhelming culture is shallow. It is all about superficial appearances, and what you have. A truly selfish outlook.

In this hook up society, is it truly something to be proud of to have had sex with a dozen people by the time your 20? Guys who take pride in their number see women as objects.
It takes virtue and strength to remain pure. You have what they can never get back.
Take pride in that.

You are only 19, you are free! You don't have any a relationship to maintain - which involves lots of time, money, and drama.

If you are honestly concentrating on doing well and furthering your education, how is that being a loser? Education, hard work, patience will give you character and a good job. That matters more than looks or whose draped on your arm.

So many people would dream to have a family that loves them unconditionallly, and are financially secure.

Look, I'm not denying the very human urge to be with someone; but, waiting to get your education, a good job, being independent and confident because of what you have accomplished and that you having a loving family, will be an aphrodisiac to a high quality woman who can appreciate someone like you.

No, you are not a loser.

Good man I back u up

You are an original in a world of followers. I lost my virginity when I was 16 because I thought that I was a loser because I was a virgin. And still to this day (10 years later) I wish I would have stayed a virgin until marriage. I know that sounds ancient and boring but most of my sadness in life came from my bad decisions surrounding sex. You are only as good as you think you are. Sounds like you have self esteem issues more than anything. You need to decide who you are and stick to it. Im assuming that you like girls don't get offended, some guys don't have that pull towards getting a girlfriend because perhaps that isn't there perferance. Again decide who you are and build yourself back up. Besides I personally think there is something sexy about a man that is saving his goods for a woman that is worthy of it, if you know what I'm saying :cool:

I think I can help you, los. I suffered from the same problem that I think you have when I was in high school and all the people around me and me, of course, were full of surging hormones.

The only thing you have to do now is to learn how to make friends with a couple, or a few girls. Don't expand the situation in your mind so much that when you say something to a girl, you are already imaging her in bed with you receiving hot kisses and your turgid penis! Too much pressure!!

There is nothing wrong with you, you are just shy.

OK, so you just need to try to make friends with a girl to start... baby steps. THAT'S ALL.

The best place for that is at work. YOu and a female have a lot to talk about, the job, and that leads to all other topics of conversation.

Get a job as a busboy in a good size restaurant and make friends with the waitresses. That is a super way for you to start conversatin' with available females and gain confidence. And so on... :)

Work and meet females, work is the key.

Just because you do not keep up with THEIR standards does not make you a loser.
It gives you time to focus on other things without all the relationship drama.
While they are trying to figure out how to get along and what they expect from each other and if they want to make up after they break up, you have an advantage in a way because you can focus on your goals in life and no girl to try and take you in a different direction.

Work on getting your life together and someday when you are successful and have a wonderful girlfriend you can come back at them with your success story.

In fact your friends should wish they could be like you, how many of them have had various girls by now, ( all of them the real love? )
And now they have a lot of baggage to bring to the next girl friend, and then the next. Plus you know what, so many guys lie, they don't sleep with every girl they go out with, but they think they have to say they did,

Hey I wanted to ask anyones opinion on still being a virgin at 19 and not having a girlfriend. Yeah I honestly think it sucks for me because it is very unfair. All my friends have relationships and look very happy and constantly talk about their relationships with one another. When they talk about it I feel so left out and stay quiet because I have nothing to contribute to the conversation. It really feels horrible especially when I say that they are too young to really know what love is because most of them are in high school. They disagree and say that I am wrong and always use the same defense and say " how many girls have you had" and there is silence because it makes me feel like I am worthless. What gets me angry is these so called friends I have think they are always right and believe that having a girl is a panacea to their problems. I feel so lonely and sad because of this. I only have one real friend who accepts me for who I am and does not look at the "girls I have had". My friends constantly keep talking about getting girls and how good they look. They judge me and tell me that I should change who I am. Every time I try to defend myself I lose because of the constant "at least I gotta girl" line. I cannot say that I cannot relate and at the moment I have no girls in mind who like me or even notice I exist. I feel that having a relationship will be great for me but I won't take it to be a life long thing because I am still young and have to live my life. I use the excuse that I don't have a girl because I am focused on school but it makes me look like a loser. It just makes me mad when other people are shocked that i don't have a girl friend and still a virgin at 19 because I am very honest about myself and don't try to hide it. People in my building are very negative about it as well. Some think I want to become a priest and some think I am gay. I am surrounded by ignorance because the ideal man is someone who fights and is tough who gets many girls. I don't meet those requirements. I live a great life I have a family who loves me for who I am and I don't have to worry about money or anything because they have my back. I believe I have a horrible social life because i am never seen with girls. It hurts me deep inside but there are more things to life than having a girlfriend. I truly want to have a relationship but I am too nervous, shy, and unconfident. I would not know what to do. I feel I am just worthless and I have fear of not ever having a girl and being a virgin for the rest of my life. I know i am still young but I am getting older quick. Honestly I have liked many girls in the past but was to nervous to even talk to them. I am lost and I feel no one can help me. I hope this phase in my life changes.
It's cool man there's no rush. If you don't feel confident at this point in your life that's fine. Like Sneezy said, just work on your confidence and you'll be fine... trust me everything happens in its time.

Your not a loser! Don't beat yourself down because of what other people say! Stay true to yourself and don't be affected by others trying to put you down. Being single isn't all that bad.. :D

You have the freedom of doing what you want when you want it. And if talking to girls isn't your thing then that's fine too. Everything takes time and before you know it she'll be standing on your door step..

Losers do what they think everyone else or even worse Hollywood thinks they should be doing.

A winner sticks to their guns and waits for that special person. Not just banging the first warm body that is offered up.

There are plenty of losers in Hollywood. Just look at how disfunctional 98% of them are. Just because TV portraies it as average and normal doesn't make it so.

My advice - everyone moves through life to their own rhythm, it's nothing to be angry about, or ashamed of, or anything at all it just is. Be happy with yourself, take care of yourself, and don't bother with the argument you've been having with your friends because it's obviously lose-lose and they mean it to be that way... god forbid one of them would ever admit that something wasn't right in their world. Stop being a masochistic plaything for your friends and find something that pleases you(like enjoying friendship, or a hobby, or self-pleasure)... eventually some nice girl will happen by and take interest and it'll be great but no less or more great than whatever you were doing before.

Don't let their ignorance bring you down.Your personal business isn't theirs.I don't see a problem with being a virgin at 19.Maybe at 40 but not 19.It's better to wait for someone special than to sex every person you see out on the streets.I personally think it's nasty for people to sleep around.I honesty don't see how one does it.My bro is a man whore and I see all these naïve chicks giving it up not know that he's had a std or multiple baby mamas.

I would rather have someone who is a virgin, than someone who has had multiple sex partners.Don't be discouraged.You're not a loser.

Ignorance? Rather a harsh word for this isn't it?

Ignorance? rather a harsh word for this isn't it?
As far as his friends go, no.They are ignorant.

Oh yeah read it wrong

Awws hun don't bring yourself down, be happy the way you are, there's no need to be ashamed, I wish I could give more advice but I not good at it, just be yourself, don't care what other people think, keep you head up hight MWAHS to you xoxox

It is a rarity, but if your friends jumped off a high bridge would you?

The thing is your better off to enjoy your life and be single. It is best. No rushing, no being in relationships just because your friends are. Etc... Etc...

It is better to wait for the right time. Save yourself for that special person.

I think the only losers there are are the people who do things just to fit in. Being 19 and a virgin is NOT a huge deal. You are young, and you will find the right girl one day. Don't be shy about talking to girls, because if you are nice to them, even if that girl isn't attracted to you, it's safe to say that she WILL be your friend, assuming you don't talk about anything nasty or horrible, and you aren't smelly or something that makes people not want to be your friend, but I think you are just shy, and there's nothing wrong with that. Once you start trying to open up to some people, you will find it easier to open up to others as well.


And as for having a girlfriend and being a virgin and all that stuff.. Once you get some confidence and get out there talking to girls and making new friends and stuff, you will find a girl for you, if you try. And girls would MUCH rather be with a guy who is a virgin, and may have to experiment and such, than a man who has slept with a dozen whores and needs to get tested for disease..

There are ealy bloomers... we all know who they are. The popular crowd. And there are late bloomers. Which is you. Trick is don't sweat it and you will find the right person, its not something you want to rush. If you do you end up like one of your married buddies with 5 kids and a fat wife that does nothing but complain all the time... hopelessly unhappy because instead of taking time to get to know her he jumped quickly into a relationship and marriage with someone he didn't really know just because she was once hot... until it was too late. Beauty fades but personality remains.

Thank all of you for your great pieces of insight.

Don't feel down... I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18.... my ex was 17


dumped me a week prior to finals and tries to be 'friendly' with me

Ignore them, and stay on your path, at your own pace, and life will take care of the rest. To those that mock you, and make fun of you, they are the ones that will have the problems, and will be burned out, or lost, and frustrated in 10 years wondering what went wrong.

Be happy with yourself, just because you love yourself enough, to take care of yourself. There is no shame with what your doing, or how your doing it.

Loser or winner, still you're a runner. You can't stop what you're going to receive, don't be shy to chat with girls, relationship really means sharing of happiness, sorrows, ideas, etc..
Try some meditation to deviate your thoughts, make yourself better to compete the world, you'll auto.. gets what you want.

I was a virgin until I was 24 then had a one night stand. It made me feel even worse. Then I met a girl who I dated for 7 months and she's just broken my heart and left me for someone else because I was too scared of loving her in the relationship. Now I feel worse.

Get over your fears first and when the opportunity comes, just go for it.

There's a 27 year old virgin :D

Worrying about a girlfriend and having sex is obviously very important to you. But what if... just what if you met a girl, had sex one time and got her pregnant? Or what if she was promiscuous and gave you a disease? Then you'd be sitting back thinking about how silly it was that you worried so much about something so insignificant. You'd go from worrying about getting laid to worrying about having to buy diapers, formula, clothes... NEVER SAY NEVER!

Hey,

From being in a group of 20 girls, I can say that the guys who are your 'friends' won't be the popular ones when it comes to girls later... girls always love the quiet inexperienced one's, so there's hope :) I have met the guys you talk about, and they sound slightly arrogant when it comes to girls and we arnt keen on that!

Hope this helps you out

Ok mate, you are me last year!
I was a virgin until I was 20, I had a one night stand and I don't regret it because I got over the 'virgin thing' but I've never had a girlfriend but I would love too! A lot of people on this forum will say 'wait for until your married' and 'its not all its made out too be', but THEY PROBIBLY Isn't ARE AGE ARE THEY! Yeah sex isn't its all made out to be but I understand the pressure in which we are put under these days.
I know how you feel about the self-esteem stuff as well, I still can't talk too girls and I'm no closer than last year either!
The best thing I can advise you on is this: if your mates make fun of you (like mine did) then ditch them because you WILL be better off, and if you can find an understanding friend who is a girl and ask for a very big favour ;)... it works mate. Hope I could help

hey,

girls always love the quiet inexperienced one's, so theres hope :) I have met the guys you talk about, and they sound slightly arrogant when it comes to girls and we arnt keen on that!

hope this helps you out

!! I have never met a girl who on a night out goes for the 'quiet inexperienced one's', I know because I am one!
Girls like the very confident, 6-pack body, smooth talking guys not the quiet guy.

This guy is just like I am so I know how he feels, don't lie to us an say that girls'll go for the 'quiet guy'!

Sorry if I sound a little over aggressive but this is an issue that I am very experienced in, it happens to me every fri/ Saturday night.

I think she meant that for long term relationships, girls prefer guys who are respectful to guys who are like the OP's friends.

What ALL people like in other people--male or female--is confidence. As long as you like who you are, and are confident in that, then other people will like you.

Ok mate, you are me last year!
i was a virgin until i was 20, i had a one night stand and i dont regret it because i got over the 'virgin thing' but ive never had a gf but i would love too! Alot of people on this forum will say 'wait for untill your married' and 'its not all its made out too be', but THEY PROBIBLY AINT ARE AGE ARE THEY! yeh sex aint its all made out to be but i understand the pressure inwhich we are put under these days.


We may not be your age now but we have been through that very same stage... and beyond so we DO know exactly what we are saying from the beinfit of having been there and been to the stages that follow as well. What some young people may think is something unique to them very rarely ever is. The benefit of experience is to look back and understand most of the advice you ignored when your parents gave it to you was in fact correct.

Some of us ran into trouble at various points of that and a few made it through unscathed. Some of us have been through this BEFORE the threat of AIDS. So I can say the pressure was far greater without the threat of death from AIDS or lifetime issues with Herpes that are a major reason to stay celibate today that we didn't have. And being this is an 18 and older forum there is only a handful of people younger.

We may not be your age now but we have been throught that very same exact stage...and beyond so we DO know exactly what we are saying from the beinfit of having been there and been to the stages that follow as well. What some young people may think is something unique to them very rarely ever is. The benifit of experience is to look back and understand most of the advice you ignored when your parents gave it to you was in fact correct.

Some of us ran into trouble at various points of that and a few made it through unscathed. Some of us have been through this BEFORE the threat of AIDS. So I can say the pressure was far greater without the threat of death from AIDS or lifetime issues with Herpes that are a major reason to stay celibate today that we didn't have. And being this is an 18 and older forum there is only a handful of people younger.


Well I do understand that if you are older then you have been in this younger age group.
But 'back then' did you have sex pushed in your face 24/7? did you have the HUGE pressure of your friends saying that you should have sex? Do you have too suffer with accusasions that your gay if you isn't with a girl or just 'had one'?
I understand that you have been through this stage in your life before, but it IS different and that's down to the change in socierty and the culture.
You must agree that sex is talked about a lot more and pritty much everywhere, well that filtters down into are age group and this is the effect it has, it does make some of use feel slightly inadequate etc or why else would we be online asking for help. I understand that you have been here before, but it doesn't mean it's the same situation.

Well i do understand that if you are older then you have been in this younger age group.
But 'back then' did you have sex pushed in your face 24/7?, did you have the HUGE pressure of your friends saying that you should have sex? do you have too suffer with accusasions that your gay if you aint with a girl or just 'had one'?.
I understand that you have been through this stage in your life before, but it IS different and thats down to the change in socierty and the culture.
You must agree that sex is talked about alot more and pritty much everywhere, well that filtters down into are age group and this is the effect it has, it does make some of use feel slightly inadequate etc or why else would we be online asking for help. I understand that you have been here before, but it does'nt mean its the same situation.Trust me it was worse during the sexual revolution and the days of free sex before AIDS and Herpes... the negatives then were a baby or something that took penicillian to cure, but it could be cured.

Nothing would kill you or stay with you for life. We didn't vegitate in front of TV in those pre cable TV days. Peer pressure is magnitides worse than TV is to some.

So yeah, nothing is more in your face than that was. Having been there I can say it was.

What you might be confuing is hormones... nearly every guy here has been through that. Combined with the ignorance of youth where you think you have it all figured out. That wasn't meant to be offensive, but every person in their 30's knows exactly what I mean by it.

You still have the teenage thoughts where you know it all and your parents know nothing, but are old enough to be paying your own way, but not to have figured out what really are the facts of life just yet. By your 30's most of this has become clear and you will start seeing the same behaviours in people your age group that think their experience is unique only to them and nobody else knows or has been through it at by then you will be laughing just like your parents were at this stage.

Just one of those stages of maturing.

Trust me it was worse during the sexual revolution and the days of free sex before AIDS and Herpes....the negatives then were a baby or something that took penicillian to cure, but it could be cured.

Nothing would kill you or stay with you for life.

So yeah, nothing is more in your face than that was. Having been there I can say it was.


But would you agree that it is hard to be a teenager and deal with are culture etc now-a-days? Coz that's the point I'm trying to make.

But would you agree that it is hard to be a teenager and deal with are culture etc now-a-days? Coz thats the point im trying to make.Its no different now than it ever was.

99% of it is all in your head. You want to think you are an adult and know everything but don't have the experience to make those decisions.

In the 70's there was actually higher drug use... and sex didn't kill you. We didn't vegitate in front of a TV or computer ,we hung out together more and did all sorts of things we shouldn't have.

Everyone has gone though the teenage stuff (and this really does extend into the early 20's).

Just like college graduates that think they know everything when they graduate. Reality is they know jack squat and the real education starts when you start to work. All school did was give you the basics. The arrogance of youth then gives way to maturity and wisdom of age when the more you learn the less you come to understand that you actually know... Unlike high school grads and college grads that think they are smarter than everyone else because they just got out of school. They haven't yet learned how little they really know.

With that wisdom also comes a humility and humbleness that they really are but a small cog in the grand machine. Not the center of the universe.

I don't think being a teenager or young is any harder or any easier than it has always been, with one exception:

Because of the lack of personal responsibility being pushed in our society, too many teens have an "entitlement" attitude that no one I knew EVER had. The instant gratification of the internet, how quickly movies come out on DVD, how quickly NEW movies are in the theatre, how fast some TV show turn over--there's this lack of patience to get what you want nowadays that, combined with the hormones and the "I know it all and if you're over 30 you don't have a clue" attitude---THAT is what makes being a teenager or young adult hard now. Not that the social aspects of sexuality have changed, but that teenagers and young adults think they need everythign they want RIGHT NOW, and that someone should hand it to them on a silver platter.

So... in relation to the virginity thing: I think the problem is the same as it has always been--that people talk too much about their sex lives with their friends, and that people seem to think that they need to be on par with other people as far as experiences and relationships. Guess what? It has NEVER been true, in any time, that all people mature and explore relationships at the same rate. The ONLY thing that makes it different now is that there is a lot more media out there saying "this is what's normal" or "this is how young adults feel" or whatever---and some young adults are NOT in that curve, or who do NOT feel that way or whatever feel like they are not "good enough" or "normal".

Screw normal. The older you get, the more you realize that there is no such thing as "normal". There's only what's normal for you.

And I stand by my original answer, that confidence is what will attract people to you. Girls are dating the "bad boys" --at that age especially--because they are confident in who they are. Boys are dating the "bad girls" because they're confident. Or at least they all ACT that way.

So... if you want to attract girls/boys/whatever's your thing--here's what you do. You bathe regularly (that means EVERY DAY). You brush your teeth--more than once a day. You wear deoderant. You keep yourself fit--if that means getting off your rump to go to the gym, then get to it. You do things your enjoy--preferably in the company of others. If you like to play video games, then join a video game club at your local university or something. There are clubs for EVERYTHING, even if those clubs are online, you need to interact with other people. You hang around with people who make you feel good. I'm not talking about "yes-men" or anythign like that---I'm talking about NOT hanging around people who put you down. Try new things--join a theatre group (this is GREAT for shy people, btw), or ask people you work with to go to a new restaurant after work some night. Join a bowling league. Anything. Just do SOMETHING, something that gets you out doing something fun with other people. Trust me, confidence will come the more you look good and hang around with people who like you for you.

It just makes me mad when other people are shocked that I don't have a girl friend and still a virgin at 19 because I am very honest about myself and don't try to hide it.
I think you will learn you can't let other people in your business, without hearing their opinion on it. The solution is the same for you as it was for me, get a job, and build your future, and you will let the past go. So much for peer pressure.

I think you will learn you can't let other people in your business, without hearing their opinion on it. The solution is the same for you as it was for me, get a job, and build your future, and you will let the past go. So much for peer pressure.Exactly... people who bow to peer pressure give up control of their lives to others. And like a bushel of crabs... your "friends" will hold you back.

For those not familiar with what that means is you can fill up a basket with live crabs and not need to cover them because even though they are fully capable of crawling out none will. Because all the other crabs will pull them back in if they try.

Don't worry about it. Most of the people you know during school, you will never see again. A lot of them will have sexualy transmitted diseases before they get maries and those diseases may cause birth defects in any children that they have. Some will get AIDs Virus and wish that they would have stayed a virgin for there whole life. These diseases will never go away and will most likely pass on to any one that they are intement with.

A lot of your peeres will also get pregnant and loved ones of there's will have to help them make life lasting discisions on what to do with that child.

At your age you do not need these problems!

Ignore there comments, shrug them off, because when you decide to get married your spauce will be very proude of your commitment to save yourself for only her, who ever she may be.

Don't have premarital sex!

Talk to your gardians if you need the helpful support.

Your gardians are your life compass that keep you on the correct path until you are old enough to make your on sound discisions.

Also trust in the LORD and his word for guidance. A lot of peaple do not relize this, but the bible is a map route for your life to follow. If you do as he say's then you will make the wright decisions.

Also trust in the LORD and his word for guidence. A lot of peaple do not relize this, but the bible is a map route for your life to follow. if you do as he say's then you will make the wright decisions.


That only works if you're Christian. For those of us who aren't--making decisions based on the Bible would be like you basing all of your decisions on "Mein Kampf" or "Atlas Shrugged" or "A Prayer for Owen Meanie".

Making decisions based on what your friends think, though, is equally silly.

Make decisions based on what is best for YOU, not what your friends think you should do. At the risk of sounding like a mom--if your friends decided that bridge jumping was cool, and that everyone does it these days, would YOU feel the need to jump off a bridge?

Also trust in the LORD and his word for guidence. A lot of peaple do not relize this, but the bible is a map route for your life to follow. if you do as he say's then you will make the wright decisions.



There are all religions posting here so this is not good advice for everyone.

It's tough sometimes going against the flow. Love is not sex and having sex does not make a "man" or "woman" out of someone. The first time a person has sex, an innocence of spirit is lost. It's not just physical. When a person has sex, regardless of whether they love the person, a bond in spirit is created. There is nothing wrong with looking only. It will help you decide what you do and don't want. You don't want to bond with someone that you don't have a true connection with - it will mess you up. The first time you have sex will set the tone for every other relationship that you have after. The people who are negative really don't have a say in your life - it is your one and only life and only you get to live it. Sex can be fun, but it can be a life changing experience when you find someone that really attracts you mentally, physically and spiritually. When you find a person that you truly bond with, one that you can feel when they are thinking about you, one that you physically feel so alive when you see them or think about them, one that makes your whole day better because they were a part of it, that is a person to share yourself with. Sex does not = a relationship. Sex is only part of what a relationship can be. I waited until I was 20 and honestly, it wouldn't have hurt to wait longer. Later I found someone that I have incredible physical chemistry with. I know when he's thinking of me, I know when he's in the room with me without seeing him, the sound of his voice instantly warms me from head to toe and it's not just physical. We knew each other a year before anything occurred and it just made the coming together all the sweeter and so much more intense. Your innocence isn't something to be thrown away. It's not something to discard on someone else's negative opinion. It's something valuable to be spent on the right person at the right time. You will thank yourself for waiting for the time comes.

Obviously there issues with yourself that are making you less confident with yourself. Address the issues you have with yourself. Do your best to up yourself. Pride comes with hard work. As far as your friends bringing you down, should friends be doing that? The only person who's opinion on you who matters is you. People naturally want to be accepted but you don't need acceptance. This comes easier with age.

When I was in high school my situation was similar to yours. I had an older friend sat me down and pointed this stuff out to me. She put it to me straight. Self-pity gets you no where in life. If you have a problem do something about it. If your unhappy with yourself it shows. Self confidence is sexy.

Not having a girlfriend isn't a big deal, its really an odds/probability thing. If your looking to gain relationship experience talk to as many girls as you can, that basically what it comes down to. I am really bad at approaching girls and making good first impressions so I keep it small, simple and pleasant. Then repeat as many times as I can and if you do that enough you will get to know a lot of people and gain friends as well girlfriends.

Your friends more than likely have no idea what makes a good girlfriend, so don't listen to them. Looks are not important, nice touch but the happiness that that particular trait by itself self brings is fast fleeting.

What are you going to school for? If it's a difficult college career you have ahead be wary of how deeply involved you get and how dedicated she is to school. But other than that school is the perfect place to meet tons of girls. If you see a girl walking by themselves or in groups say hi and smile, every-time(just don't make beelines towards them).
You don't look like a creep if you do it all the time, you look like a nice guy and it makes it a lot easier to start a conversation with a girl you have said hi to a bunch of times later.

Please go to planned parenthood and educate yourself about how to have safe sex and how safe safe sex is. Wrap it up every time.

Good luck.

Obviously there issues with yourself that are making you less confident with yourself. Address the issues you have with yourself. Do your best to up yourself. Pride comes with hard work. As far as your friends bringing you down, should friends be doing that? The only person whos opinion on you who matters is you. People naturally want to be accepted but you dont need acceptance. This comes easier with age.

When I was in high school my situation was similar to yours. I had an older friend sat me down and pointed this stuff out to me. She put it to me straight. Self-pity gets you no where in life. If you have a problem do something about it. If your unhappy with yourself it shows. Self confidence is sexy.

Not having a girlfriend isnt a big deal, its really an odds/probability thing. If your looking to gain relationship experience talk to as many girls as you can, that basically what it comes down to. I am really bad at approaching girls and making good first impressions so I keep it small, simple and pleasant. Then repeat as many times as I can and if you do that enough you will get to know alot of people and gain friends as well girlfriends.

Your friends more than likely have no idea what makes a good girlfriend, so dont listen to them. Looks are not important, nice touch but the happiness that that particular trait by itself self brings is fast fleeting.

What are you going to school for? If its a difficult college career you have ahead be wary of how deeply involved you get and how dedicated she is to school. But other than that school is the perfect place to meet tons of girls. If you see a girl walking by themselves or in groups say hi and smile, every-time(just dont make beelines towards them).
You dont look like an if you do it all the time, you look like a nice guy and it makes it a lot easier to start a conversation with a girl you have said hi to a bunch of times later.

Please go to planed parenthood and educate yourself about how to have safe sex and how safe safe sex is. Wrap it up every time.

Good luck.

Typical new generation of teenagers..

"OH! LOOK AT THAT GUY! He's a VIRGIN! *mocks* He can't get any!"
"Hahaha! he's probably a closet gay"

Seriously. I don't know what the heck happened but the teenagers need to get their heads out of the sandbox and start using it. Sure, you're 19 and a virgin but it's not end of the world. Your arms and legs aren't broken, fractured, amputated, injured.. You don't suffer from psychological disorders such as depression, schizophrenia, cognitive disorder, Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder etc.

You're normal.

Typical new generation of teenagers..

"OH! LOOK AT THAT GUY! He's a VIRGIN! *mocks* He can't get any!"
"Hahaha! he's probably a closet gay"

Seriously. I don't know what the heck happened but the teenagers need to get their heads out of the sandbox and start using it. Sure, you're 19 and a virgin but it's not end of the world. Your arms and legs aren't broken, fractured, amputated, injured.. You don't suffer from psychological disorders such as depression, schizophrenia, cognitive disorder, Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder etc.

You're normal.

I wasn't mocking anyone!?

I wasnt mocking anyone!?!


I didn't say you was mocking anyone...

I mean the teenagers

I was wondering why you quoted Dubas ---still don't get that?