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View Full Version : I'm dead to him all of the sudden? Why?


pinky32442008
Jul 13, 2008, 09:17 PM
Ive been trying to get over my ex for years. I keep messin up by going back to him over and over again but Im done this time. I feel stupid because I hung out with him on the 4th of July and we slept together. We talked the next day but all of the sudden he just stopped talking to me. I know it seems like a booty call but I don't know what to think right now. I talked to him that Thursday of that week which was his birthday and I asked him why he ignored me and he told me he just didn't feel like talking. I asked him if I did something wrong and he said no. He also told me that he is leaving out of state for college so he basically doesn't want to get attached to me and that he still cares but you know. He told me he loved me but then that was it. I haven't talked to him in 3 days so far and that's strange because we talked every day. I want to text him but I know he won't text back, I want to call but he won't answer. I have wrote him a fare well letter but he won't respond. Its like Im dead to him and I can't change it. I just don't understand.. It hurts me because I went back to him when he broke my heart every time and has hurt me. I feel used and hurt all over again and I just want to know why. Why is he just ignoring me like this? See I want to be the strong one here, I want him to be texting me and wondering why Im not talking to him but I don't know how to turn it around like that. I mean I want to be the one to open my phone and just delete a message from him with not a care in the world. But I guess I just need to realize that's probably not going to happen for me. I don't know what to do really. I guess move on and let go but its harder than it seems, like I said I have been trying to get over him for 3 years. How do you just drop someone you cared so much about? I can't do it. Please if anyone out there can help me on this I would really appreciate it Im killing myself, I just want to be happy and right now Im pretty low. Please... I need help on this one!

simoneaugie
Jul 13, 2008, 10:26 PM
You should do No Contact with him. Read the stickies at the beginning of the relationship section.

The one thing you have never done in your relationship with him is to leave him alone entirely. Go for it.

ylaira
Jul 13, 2008, 10:33 PM
U keep on looking back so thats why. If u keep on contacting and "subtlely" insisting yourself to him, thats what you will always feel. Dont be surprised. USED, HURT, USED, REJECTED, USED, FOOLED, USED, USED, USED, USED, USED, USED......

JBeaucaire
Jul 14, 2008, 05:17 AM
You're not confused. You know exactly what's going on, don't you? You're not confused, your moping.

Booty call, yes, you made him your booty call. I bet he feels used, too.

You want to do better, then describe "better" meaning he is chasing you and are snubbing him? That's BETTER? No honey, that's emotional revenge. That's a worse goal than anything else you could be wanting, so it's no wonder you're not healing.

The closest thing to love is hate. Revenge is a hate reflex, so you are still completely involved with guy emotionally. Healing comes when you stop pursuing the love OR the hate. You embrace the "oh well", you embrace the "whatever" attitude. That's the path to healing.

NO CONTACT is the path (and keep your clothes on, too), but it will be pointless if you sit alone thinking about him over and over. This makes no more sense for you to do than if you sat at him crying because Brad Pitt doesn't love you back. It's the same thing.

He's ignoring you because he's trying to be more honest than you are. It's over, he doesn't want to be your booty call, he doesn't want to text you and have you delete it, he's got the right idea!

Now you get the right idea, too. Spend some time pining over Brad Pitt. It's more likely to help than what you've been trying. And then, after that, any of the 1000s of other available men that haven't told you to "go away"... I say throw some energy in their direction next.