I have been involved with a man now for 4 years and 3 months ago found out he was sleeping with another women. Ordinarily being a man he denied this and got very defensive with me. So being the person that I am I gave him the benefit of the doubt the first time. Now 3 months later I call the house and the same women is in his house answering his phone and taking all kinds of s***. Telling me she is engaged etc.. I feel so disrespected by all this. That this man couldn't be man enough to tell me this information. I don't even want to see him or say anything because I am so upset and hurt because of this. Can someonre help me as to how to deal with this?

I don't even want to see him or say anything
I'd say that's a pretty good strategy for dealing with him. Cut him out of your life like the cancer that he is. Yes, it does hurt like hell to be played for a fool, but staying around for more of the same means you really are a fool, not just being played for one.

Disappear from his life, yesterday. I would say sorry for your loss, but you haven't lost a thing but misery, and you have gained freedom

Your post was titled "Should I stay or leave".

The answer - leave. You don't need this man, and don't let his actions taint your opinion of men in general. You will find someone who deserves to be with you, who will treat you like you deserve to be treated, and is man enough to handle himself like one.

Sorry for what you went through, but do yourself a favor and don't let him do it to you again.

First off, he's not even a man, he's boy. You should have left when this first happen and not believed his lies. That proved how unloyal he was and how much respect he had for your relationship and you. I should there was signs that you ignore that showed you he was cheating. In order for a relationship to work you must at least be able to trust your partner, otherwise how can you be with that person. Once trust is broken, well you see the result.

Leave him alone and let him cause drama, hurt, and pain to someone else life. If you stay, your world will be turned upside down and leave you stressed, hurt, and may lead to depression and lets not forget the anger that comes along with it.

The choice is yours. Whether you leave or stay, prepare yourself, but your in the driver seat and must decide what road to take.

Also, you will feel sad but in time you will heal, because what don't kill you only makes you stronger. Try not to have any contact with him. Remember you love yourself more. Four years is a long time to be with someone but you don't need to accept his lies anymore. In the meantime, stay busy and focus on yourself.