I don't live in MO anymore and soon I will be moving out of the country for a little while (military related). My daughter and her mom (who I was never married to) live there. I was recently having phone calls with them, but my ex decided to cut it all off since her engagement. I want to get shared legal custody and set phone time with my daughter. I'm moving really soon and was wondering if I could have a lawyer represent me in court instead of physically being there? I can't afford to be there and I've never been to court before... I've already found a lawyer but haven't talked to him about doing it this way yet. Also, if I ask for visitation rights but don't use them for a year of two since I can't afford to travel from country to country, how will that effect me when I come back and try to use the visitation? We've never been to court before. I pay child support through the Dept of Family Services and my name is on the birth certificate.

It is theoretically possible, but practically impossible. Your testimony is critical in a custody hearing. It is possible to use a deposition (perhaps video) while you are accessible; but if new material is brought up in the hearing, you will not be there to rebut. Go over this with you lawyer, of course.

This issue just might have to wait until you return as your in person testimony is critical. What good will shared custody do you if you are in another country? Things will be on hold until you return and can attend any court proceedings then.

I was planning on speaking with the lawyer tomorrow.

My sister went through a custody battle with her ex boyfriend over their nine year old last year. The ex was in California and my sister was in MO. He was in court with a lawyer and my sister participated over the phone. Is this something I can do?

I would say that while it is legal, most judges will look at it and say well if they can't take the time to be here, they are not that interested,
Plus without you being able to testify, what your ex says will be all the evidence presented, so no matter how much she tells it from "her" side, you will not be there to say different.

It may be possible to appear by ( telephonic means ) aka by telephone. That way your given the chance to respond. It may take a separate paper to the courts as some courts have specific paperwork for asking it be done that way. As far as visitation goes. That will be more of a gradual thing over time if your not going to be able to take it now. Maybe just visits for 6 months tthen 1 or 2 over nights etc till its where you 2 have agreed on or where the courts have set it. Good Luck and god speed with the service.