Ex husband informed me that he will no longer be paying $50 per week for our daughter's private school. He has been paying that amount for 5 years with NO problems. He now tells me that he is broke, but yet he is a regional sales rep for a company in Cincy. However, he goes out of town 2-3 weeks each month and I am left with finding a bbsitter for his days, paying the bbsitter half because he says that what I should do, but yet he DOESN'T pay half of my bbsitting days. He doesn't offer to pay for her lunches, or my gas to take her to sports that he has signed her up for. My niece who bbsits basically told him he wasn't being fair to me and now he has another bbsitter and he won't tell me who this person is. He says, "I have made arrangements". At no point in time do I keep our daughter from him when she is with me. As soon as she comes home... he is burning our phone lines up each and everyday, but yet he will not let her talk to me when he as her. However, I did do some investigating and I found out who the new bbsitter is. She is a long lost relative of the new wife, whom the ex doesn't know and therefore, our daughter doesn't know either. He would not give me her number, but as I said, I got it, her cell number and her address. I called her today and she was very nice and accommodating. I meet her too. She said the ex was livid that I found her and spoke to her. At any rate, he now doesn't want to pay anything because he says he has NO money. He is paying for a big wedding his new wife's daughter just had, a wedding he had 4 years ago, in which he skipped out of his marriage and she took him to court and yet he can't pay $50.00 per week for an investment in his daughter's education.
Well, I went out and hired a lawyer to sue him for child support. I want to keep the visitation schedule the same so our daughter will NOT be out of her routine. I asked the bbsitter to keep in contact with me and she said I may call her as well.
Does anyone have a controlling ex as I do... who is using his daughter as a PAWN? I have asked him NOT to include her in any of this mess yet he quizzes her constantly on her whereabouts when she is with me. I am sorry his life with his new wife is not as exciting as my life.
Every dawg has their day... and it is what it is!! Any thoughts on the outcome or has anyone experience the same goofy DRAMA, that these ex's pull? Thank You and God bless!!

First, don't pay any babysitter for 'his half' because that is what he says you should do.
Tell him you need the money now to go toward her school.
Do you have a court ordered child support order?
IF NOT get one.
IF SO go back to court and tell them he is not doing his part.

I have not HAD a child support order in place since our divorce in 2001. Our daughter is now 9 years old, but as of last Tuesday I consulted an attorney and my ex has received a copy of the letter, which I am asking to be the primary custodian and I am asking for child support as stated by the Kentucky guidelines. He had it too easy and was starting to take advantage of me. Now he is hiding our daughter on "His" days and not allowing her to call me or not telling me her whereabouts. That will come back to bite him in the butt later. She sees all of his controlling manners. Any other ideas? I really hate to go to court... you know how it is in there... everyone makes each other out to be the dog of the earth when in all actuality... I just want what is best for her... thank you for your response.

You need to go to court because no matter how strong you stand the court can be your backbone. Otherwise he is going to progressively take more and more advantage.
Even if he still doesn't allow her to talk to you on his days he will have to comply with the more essential things or back to court again to reinforce it.

Yes, that's my game plan... my lawyer sent him a letter stating I want to be the custodial parent with child support. He will get a lawyer and his letter will be "he wants sole custody with me paying child support". It's a cycle. I will just be patient. Thank you for talking to me!! I am stressed and I can't sleep at night over this...

He can't pay $50 a week but he can afford a lawyer?

Take it one minute at a time, you'll get through it. Don't let him take any more of you, sleep.

Yes, he will need to pay an attorney. I know... it's crazy. It boils down to a control thing. I will take it one minute at a time. Thank you for responding.

That is not all. If he doesn't want to settle with my attorney's first proposal, then we go to mediation which is $500 split 50/50. Then a guardian ad liem will be appointed to our daughter to found out what is going on from her point of view, that is 1,000 split 50//50. So, you see the type of individual that I am dealing with. Keep me in your prayers. Thank you, me!

Wouldn't it had been the smart thing just to pay for her school each week. I didn't even see his checks to the school. You know how it goes, they get remarried and in most cases the new wife puts the skids to the old schedules. At least that is the way it is in this case.

I feel for you. My friend is having some of the same issues.

Her ex's child support bounced and she gave him two weeks to pay. Still hasn't. I told her to take it to the courts. He's not set up through court to pay support either and he makes a lot more than her.

Anyway don't feel alone. He just got remarried a few months ago and that's when all of her problems started, with the new wife. No support, no money, no proper visits etc.

I would stick to your guns on this one. And I sure wouldn't be letting him have a babysitter for her that I didn't know who it was. The court should tell him that he has to let you know who it is etc.

Good luck and best wishes.